New Friends
by Hannahfour
Summary: Daniel, Guthrie, and Heidi make new friends and find out the hard way that sometimes new friends can be bad influences. Heidi's new friend might cost her her best friend, and Guthrie might be in over his head with his new friend. Adam thinks Daniel's new friend is a bad influence on Daniel and that causes a rift between them.
1. Chapter 1

It's hot! In May you never know what the weather is going to be like in the foothills. One day it could be hot like a summer day, and the next day could be cold with a late sierra snow storm. Today it's hot! I'm glad the school day is almost over, I can't wait to go home and drink a nice cold glass of lemonade. This is the last recess, and the only shade outside on the playground is either under the big oak tree by the field, or on top of the bars in the playground because they're in the shade of a tree. Denise and are the first ones outside, so we run to the bars and climb up to sit on top of them. There's a small breeze up here and it feels nice.

"It's so hot!" Denise says. She's my best friend. She's new this year. She moved to Murphys in October. "I wish I had a swimming pool so I could go swimming after school!"

"Me too. Swimming in our pond on the ranch is ok, but it's pretty dirty. A swimming pool is much cleaner to swim in and it's way funner than a pond if the pool has a diving board."

"I know."

I look around the playground. This last recess is just for fourth and fifth graders. Most of the boys are playing soccer on the field, and the girls are either sitting in the shade under the big oak tree by the field, or over at the drinking fountain. I watch them getting drinks. "It would be so much fun to have a water fight right now."

Denise looks over at the drinking fountain and says, "yeah, or a water balloon fight."

"That'd be fun. Or if we all had squirt guns!"

"Yeah."

We sit quietly swinging our legs back and forth while sitting on top of the bars. I think I hear a noise coming from over by the slide, but I don't see anything that could make a noise. "Listen," I tell Denise. We're quiet and I hear the noise again. "Did you hear that?" I ask her.

"Yes. It sounds like someone crying."

We listen again and it does sound like someone crying. "It's coming from the slide. Do you think someone's underneath it?"

"Maybe," Denise says. "Let's look."

We lower ourselves down from the top of the bars so we're hanging from them, and then we drop to the ground. As we walk closer to the slide the crying gets louder. Someone is sitting underneath it crying. It's a girl, and she has her knees tucked up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. She's rocking back and forth a little bit and she's resting her head on her knees and crying.

Denise and I stand next to the slide and Denise says, "are you ok?"

The girl shakes her head no and doesn't say anything.

"Are you hurt?" Denise asks.

The girl shakes her head no again.

"Can we sit down next to you?" Denise asks.

This time the girl nods her head yes. We sit under the slide with her in the little bit of shade the slide provides. It's still really hot though.

"Do you want to tell us what's wrong?" I ask. I feel sorry for her.

She lifts her head up and says yes. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying and her cheeks are all wet from her tears. I think her nose is running a little bit too. She puts her legs down and wipes her face with the bottom of her shirt. I recognize who she is now. Her name's Kelly and she's in fifth grade. She's in Ms. Monroe's class.

"My friends ditched me," she says and then she starts crying again.

"Oh, I hate it when that happens," I tell her.

That happened to me once in second grade. One day at lunch I wouldn't share my Oreo cookies with my friends, so they ditched me. When we went out to the playground they ran from me and told me to stay away from them. I ran after them and cried for them to be my friends again. I felt really sad at first and then I got really mad. So I ran around and chased after them, and when I caught up with one of them I punched her in the nose. Then I chased the other one and punched her in the nose too. I got sent home from school after that and the next day we all said we were sorry and we became friends again. Brian said I was lucky they still wanted to be my friends after I punched them.

"I'm sure they'll be your friends again," I tell Kelly.

"No they won't! They hate me!"

"Why? What'd you do?" I ask.

Kelly looks at me and says, "nothing!"

Denise says, "I'm sure they don't really hate you. I bet you'll make up."

"No we won't," she cries. "I feel so bad."

"We'll be your friends," I tell her.

"Yeah," Denise says. "You can be friends with us."

Kelly smiles and wipes her eyes. "I can?"

"Sure," Denise says.

"Do you want to hang out with us on the bars?" I ask. "It's cooler over there."

"Ok," she says.

We crawl out from underneath the slide and run over to the bars. We climb to the top and then hang upside down from them and laugh. Three girls come running over to the bars so we stop hanging upside down and pull ourselves up so we're sitting on top of the bars. I think the girls are Kelly's friends that ditched her because they start apologizing to her.

"We're sorry for ditching you Kelly," one of them says.

"Yeah, I'm sorry," the other two say together. I know these girls. Everyone knows everybody in Murphys, and these girls are in fifth grade also. I think their names are Kim, Tammy, and Laura.

Denise and I look at Kelly and she looks mad now. She doesn't say anything.

"Do you want to come play with us?" Tammy asks Kelly.

"I'm mad you ditched me!" Kelly finally blurts out. "I thought you were my friends!"

"I'm sorry," Kim says. "You just kept making fun of Laura and you wouldn't stop. You were making her cry."

The girl in the middle is Laura and she looks down at the ground now.

"Well you shouldn't have ditched me!" Kelly yells. "I have new friends now! Right?"

I stare at Kelly and she looks at me, and then she looks at Denise. "Right?!" She says again.

Oh, she's talking to us. I look at Denise and we shrug our shoulders a little bit and say, "right," both at the same time.

"See!" Kelly yells. "I don't need you to be my friends anymore! I have new ones!"

The three girls turn and walk away slowly. I look at Kelly and she looks sad as she watches them walk away. Then she starts to smile a little bit and says, "thanks you guys. We're gonna be best friends!"

The bell rings and we jump down from the bars carefully.

"See you tomorrow," Kelly says. She starts to run off and then stops and turns back around. "Wait, what's your name? I know you're Heidi, but what's your name?" She points to Denise.

"Denise," I tell her.

"Bye Denise, bye Heidi! I'll see you tomorrow." She runs off to her classroom and Denise and I walk to ours. I don't know about Kelly. I wonder what Denise thinks about her. I wish this wasn't the last recess because now that we have to go back to class we won't get any time to talk. And since Denise's mom always picks her up from school, and I always take the bus home, we won't get to talk after school either. I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow. I'm not sure I want another best friend.

* * *

When Guthrie and I get off the bus at our stop, I'm still thinking about Kelly. But Guthrie doesn't let me think about her for long because he's excited to tell me about a new boy in his class.

"We got a new boy in our class today and he's so cool! His name's Scott and he has a dirt bike! His own dirt bike! He told me when I come over to his house he'll let me ride it!"

Guthrie wants a dirt bike. Brian is looking for a used one to buy for him and Guthrie is saving money to help pay for it. So far Guthrie has about five dollars. I don't think that's enough. I didn't realize Guthrie was talking this whole time until I hear him calling my name.

"Heidi! Earth to Heidi!" He teases me as he waves his hand in front of my face.

"What?!"

"I said, wouldn't it be fun if I had my own dirt bike? I'd let you ride it too."

"Oh, yeah." That would be fun.

We're almost to our driveway when Guthrie says, "man it's hot today!"

"I know! I wish we had a swimming pool."

"Me too. Do you want to swim in the pond after we do our chores?" He asks.

"I don't know. Maybe. Right now all I want to do is drink a nice tall glass of lemonade."

"Me too!" Guthrie says. "I can't wait to tell everyone about Scott and his dirt bike! I'll race you!" He yells, and he takes off running down our driveway. Our driveway is a long dirt road that goes to the house. He's got to be kidding if he thinks I'm gonna race him when it's so hot outside. While I'm walking along I start kicking up the dirt on the driveway so I'm walking in a cloud of dust.

I look over to the pasture on my right. Adam and Brian are on their horses out with the cows. I wonder where Crane is. As I get closer to the house I see him working on the truck. He's got the hood popped up and he's leaning on the truck looking down at the engine. There's a greasy rag in one of his hands and as I get closer I can see he has grease all over his hands.

"Hey munchkin," he says when he sees me walking up. "You look hot and...," he looks at me closely and says, "really, really dirty! What'd you do, walk through a dust storm?"

I look down at myself and I am pretty dusty. That makes me smile, I guess I kicked up more dirt than I thought. "Well, if _I_ walked through a dust storm, then _you_ walked through a grease storm!"

He laughs at that and flicks his greasy rag at me.

I laugh and run out of the way so the rag can't touch me and I walk across the grass to our front porch.

"Hannah's got lemonade and cookies waiting for you inside," he yells out to me. "Bring me out a cookie will ya?"

"Ok," I yell back. I run up the steps and fling the front door open. It's just as hot inside as it is outside! I wish we had an air conditioner. I slam the door shut and walk to the kitchen.

"What happened to you?" Hannah asks when I walk in and sit down at the table. She laughs at me and so does Guthrie. He's already sitting at the table drinking lemonade and eating a cookie. Hannah pours a glass of lemonade for me.

"What?" I ask.

"What do you mean _what_? You're filthy! Go wash your hands before you pick up a cookie," Hannah says.

I get up and walk over to the kitchen sink. It's full of dirty dishes. It looks like Hannah started washing them already and my guess is Guthrie and I are going to finish washing them when we're done with our cookies.

"How was school?" Hannah asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. "Ok, I guess. I didn't get in trouble if that's what you're wondering."

"No, that's not what I'm wondering," she says as she walks up behind me and puts her hand on top of my head. "Heidi! You've got dirt all over your hair too!" She starts shaking dirt out of my hair so I move away from her. "You definitely need a bath tonight."

"Or I could just wash it off when I go swimming in the pond instead," I tell her.

"You'll still need a bath after swimming in that yucky pond," she says.

I sigh and sit back down at the table to eat my cookies. They taste so good. Hannah makes the best cookies.

"Will you two finish the dishes for me while I go work out back in the garden for a little bit? Your brothers are going to work on the fence for it later tonight and I want to get it mapped out for them." We both tell her we'll finish the dishes, so she puts her dishtowel down and walks out the back door. "Thank you." She yells over her shoulder.

"Come on," Guthrie says, "let's get started so we can finish our chores faster and go swimming."

I help Guthrie with the dishes and listen to him talk about the new boy in his class the whole time. It sounds like he's going to have a new friend soon.

* * *

After we finish our chores we go back to the house to change into shorts to go swimming in the pond. I always wear a T-shirt and shorts when I swim in a lake or pond since those can be dirty places to swim. I save my bathing suit for when I swim in pools.

I meet Guthrie downstairs after I've changed, and we run outside to the back of the house so we can tell Hannah we're leaving. She's with Crane now, and they're digging holes where the fence posts are going to go for the new garden. If you want to grow a garden you have to put a fence around it or the deer will eat _everything_. Well, except for some of the herbs.

"We should just get a dog," I tell them. "A dog will keep the deer away and you won't need to build a fence."

"We're not getting a dog," Crane says.

"I don't know why we can't have one." I've wanted a puppy for a long, long, time.

Guthrie says, "whoa! That's gonna be a tall fence!"

Crane is picking up a post that is taller than him. "Deer can jump pretty high. You know that."

"I still think we should get a dog," I tell him.

"I know what you think," he says. "This fence will keep the deer out just as good as a dog can."

Guthrie says, "we're going to the pond now."

"Don't be late for dinner," Hannah says. "I don't want to have to send someone out looking for you."

"Ok," we both say. Neither one of us has a watch, but that's ok. Our brothers taught us how to look up at the sun to try to tell what time it is. When the sun starts to set lower than the tree line we know it's time to go back home for dinner. Guthrie's better at telling time like that than I am, so I always let him worry about the time.

We take the path to the river. It takes a while to walk to the river and the pond is about five minutes past the river. We don't bring towels with us because it's so hot outside we don't need them. If we're cold after we're done swimming, we find a nice smooth warm rock to lay on. There's lots of those around the pond.

When we get to the pond we take our shoes and socks off and step in the water. The mud squishes in between my toes and it feels good. The water looks a little blue, but mostly it's green, and the pond has lots of tadpoles swimming in it. Once I'm up to my knees in the water, the mud turns to long weedy grass under my feet. It feels weird but Guthrie and I keep walking out in the cool water until the water comes up to our waists. Then we both shut our eyes, plug our noses and fall backwards into the water. It feels good. We pop up and start laughing while we splash at each other.

"Let's go find that big log we can stand on," Guthrie says. There's a big log floating somewhere in the pond that's big enough, and heavy enough to stand on if you can keep your balance. The pond isn't very big so it has to be close by.

"Found it!" Guthrie yells, so I swim over to him making sure I keep my face out of the water. I don't like swimming in the pond with my face in the water because sometimes I forget I'm in a pond and open my eyes. The water looks and feels gross when I do that. So I keep my face out of the water as much as possible. Guthrie is already on the log when I reach him. He's trying to balance so he can stand up, but when I reach him I push on the log and he falls in the water. He's laughing when he comes up and he tries to push me off the log while I'm trying to get on it. The log is really slimy so it's slippery and that makes it hard to stay on too. When we both get tired of trying to stand on it, we sit on the log and float around the pond.

Guthrie starts talking about the new boy, Scott, in his class. He's so excited and can't stop talking about Scott's dirt bike. Finally I get tired of it.

"Why don't you just marry Scott, since you seem to be in love with him." I say a little rudely.

"Jeez, Heidi. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'm tired of hearing about Scott and his dumb dirt bike!"

"You're just jealous!" He yells at me and he smiles as he splashes water on me with his foot.

"I am not!" My brothers would probably tell me I was jealous. They tell me I get jealous when Guthrie has a friend over. I don't think I do. When Guthrie has a friend over he mostly wants to play with them instead of me. I just want him to play with me, so sometimes I get mad at him when he has a friend over. I get mad at his friend too. I don't know why, I just do. "I'm not jealous of you and your stupid dirt bike friend!" I yell. Guthrie thinks that's funny so I splash him with water. "Can we talk about something else?" I suggest.

"Ok. Sorry. I guess I was talking about Scott a lot. Do you want to see if we can catch a bullfrog?"

"Ok!" We get off the log and swim back to the shore. Then we walk around the edge of the pond. I'm not hot anymore. The sun feels good on me now. We each find a good stick to poke around in the mud with while we walk around. It's fun to look for frogs and snakes and other little creatures. We could spend hours doing this!

I think we did spend hours doing this. When I start getting cold I tell Guthrie, and he says he's cold too. He looks up at the sky. "Uh-oh, I think we'd better go home now. The sun is pretty low."

I look at the sun. He's right, even I know by looking at it we're late for dinner. We run to where we left our shoes and socks and sit down on a rock to put them on. Then we run to the path and hurry home.

* * *

When we get close to the house there's a car parked in front of it that I don't recognize. "Who's car is that?"

"I don't know," Guthrie says. We stop in front of it and look inside. It's a red convertible. It's kind of beat up on the outside and the inside. The top is down so we can see in, and there's papers lying all over the floor of the car on the passenger's side. "I wonder how all those papers stay in the car with the top down."

"Me too," I say. "I wonder who's car it is."

"Let's go find out!" Guthrie yells.

We run the rest of the way to the porch and run up the porch steps two at a time. We throw the front door open and run to the kitchen. Everyone is sitting at the table eating dinner and they all turn around and look at us. There's a girl sitting next to Daniel. She has long blonde hair and is smiling at us. Daniel likes a girl named Allison who is pretty and has long blonde hair too, but this isn't her. I hear laughing and Daniel says, "you two better close your mouths, or you're gonna catch a whole bunch of flies!" Everybody laughs at that and I close my mouth.

"Tanya, this is my little sister Heidi, and my little brother, Guthrie," Daniel says.

"Hi," Tanya says. "Nice to meet you."

"Hi," we both say quietly.

We start to walk into the kitchen but Hannah says, "stop right there. You two need to get washed up and out of those filthy clothes. I told you I wanted you home before dinner, not during diner."

"Sorry," we say. We turn around and walk towards the stairs. "I wonder who she is?" I say quietly.

"Me too. I'm gonna hurry up and get cleaned up so I can go find out!" He runs up the stairs and I watch him go. This should be an interesting night.

* * *

During dinner I listen to everyone talk and find out Tanya is someone Daniel met over the weekend when his band played at a gig in Sonora. His band is really good and they almost always have a gig on the weekends. Daniel wants to make a record someday. He's really good at singing and playing the guitar. He writes his own songs too.

Tanya says she's in a band too. She must be older than Daniel because she said she graduated high school two years ago. She's from Los Angeles and it sounds like her band already made a record. I've never heard of it though. She said Daniel's band is really good and could probably make a record too. Adam tells Daniel maybe he could do that after he graduates high school. I don't think Adam liked it when Tanya said Daniel didn't need to finish high school to make a record, because he stopped smiling when she said that. Tanya said two of the boys in her band dropped out of high school to go to LA and make the record with her band. Daniel seems pretty excited about that. But Adam doesn't.

"Getting your high school diploma is important," he says. "Once you get that, you can go to LA and make all the records you want."

I don't think Daniel liked what Adam said because he says a little quietly, "_if_ you let me leave the ranch when I graduate, _Dad_."

Hannah stands up. "Anyone ready for dessert?" I think she did that so Adam wouldn't say anything back to Daniel, and it worked. We all say we're ready for dessert except for Adam. He's glaring a little bit at Daniel, and I think he's glaring at Tanya a little bit too. But, when Hannah brings the apple pies over to the table, he stops glaring and everyone starts talking about other things.

Evan is excited about the rodeo this weekend in Sonora. It's the Motherlode Round-up Rodeo. It happens every year on Mother's Day week-end. Saturday is the big parade in Sonora and after that the rodeo starts. Lots of professional rodeo stars come from all over to compete. There's a big BBQ and dance at the fairgrounds. Lots of bands will be playing throughout the day and night, including Tanya's band and Daniel's. On Sunday the rodeo finishes and then there's another BBQ and more dancing. It's a lot of fun and this year is gonna be even funner, because Denise and I are going together. It's her first rodeo so I can't wait to show her everything!

Guthrie changes the subject and starts talking about the new boy in his class and tells everyone about the dirt bike. "Can I go over to his house after school? He said I could ride his dirt bike when I come over."

"Get his phone number and I can call his parents to see if we can set something up," Adam says. Because we live out on a ranch it's hard for friends to come over after school, or for us to go over to their house. It means someone has to drive out here.

"Maybe I could take a later shift at Marie's one day this week and pick you up afterwards," Hannah says. She works at Marie's Restaurant in town a few days a week to make some extra money. Adam doesn't really like her working, but it makes her happy so he's ok with it. Sort of.

"Then maybe I could go to Denise's house after school that day too!" I stand up when I say that because I'm excited. I stand up like that a lot when I want to talk at the table. Crane says I do that because I'm little and I want my voice to be heard in a room full of seven brothers talking.

Hannah smiles at me and says, "maybe you could. I'll see what I can work out with Marie and then I'll call Denise's mom."

I sit down and finish my pie. I can't wait to tell Denise tomorrow.

When everyone's finished eating Hannah asks me and Guthrie to help her with the dishes.

"We already did dishes today," Guthrie reminds her. "Remember?"

Hannah says, "yes I remember. I also remember telling you I wanted you to come home _before_ dinner and not during dinner. Remember?"

Guthrie and I groan while everyone else laughs.

* * *

After the dishes are done Hannah asks me if I have any homework.

"Nope." Guthrie, Evan and Ford do, and they're at the kitchen table working at one end, while Adam, Brian and Crane are at the other end going over 'the books'. I wonder what Daniel and Tanya are doing so I go into the living room to find out.

"I want you take your bath soon," Hannah says to me as she follows me into the living room.

"Ok," I tell her as she walks upstairs to her room.

Daniel and Tanya are sitting on the couch and Daniel is playing his guitar and singing a song. I think it's a new song because he's looking at music while he plays. I sit on the couch across from them to listen. When he's done he says, "that's all I have so far."

"It's really good Daniel," Tanya says. "I love it."

"I'm almost finished writing it. I'm hoping to have it done tonight so the band can start practicing it, and play it this weekend at the rodeo."

"That would be great," she says. "I wish my band had a new song to play. The last song we wrote was for the record and that was six months ago."

"That's a long time," Daniel says. "I'm always writing new songs. Are you guys working on a song?"

"Oh sure," Tanya says. "We've got lots of songs we're working on, just not anything great right now. Your song is so good Daniel. I'd love to see what else you're working on. You know, to maybe give you some advice."

"Sure!" Daniel is excited. He puts his guitar down on the coffee table and runs upstairs to his room. Tanya picks up the song Daniel wrote and looks at it. She sings it quietly over and over. When she sees me staring at her she puts it down and says, "it's a really good song."

"Uh-huh," I say as I nod my head. "Daniel writes lots of good songs."

"I bet he does," she says, only I don't think she's saying that to me because she says it really quietly while she looks at his song again.

Daniel comes running down the stairs carrying lots of papers in his hands. "These are all the songs I'm working on," he tells her.

He hands them to her and she looks at one. "That one goes like this..," Daniel starts singing and Tanya sings it with him. She's a really good singer. She's as good as Daniel and they sound good together. He shows her another song and they sing that together too.

After they've sung three Tanya says, "these are really good Daniel. You're a great song writer. You should really think about going to LA. If you finished these and brought them with you, you'd have a contract for a record deal in no time!"

That makes Daniel really happy. "Do you really think so?"

"Yes Daniel. These are good. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. I sure wish my band had this many new songs to work on. We'd have another record deal for sure!" She looks at her watch. "Oh, I've got to get going. I'm meeting the band to practice." She stands up and Daniel does too.

"I'll walk you out," he says.

"You know Daniel, you should come with me. Bring your guitar and come jam with us. You could even bring one of these new songs you're working on."

"I can't, it's late and it's a school night. Adam doesn't like us out late on school nights. I've got homework to do too."

"Oh, that's too bad," Tanya says. "The band would've loved to meet you. Are you sure? It's only eight o'clock."

"I'm sure," Daniel sounds sad when he says that. "By the time we'd get to town I'd only be able to stay for an hour before I'd have to turn around and come back home. When I practice with my band we start earlier than this so we can be done by ten. Curfew is eleven o'clock on a school night." Daniel sounds frustrated when he says that and I think he's mad.

"Wow, I haven't had a curfew since..., oh I don't know how long it's been! Sorry."

Daniel walks with her to the front door. Tanya turns around and says, "goodbye Heidi. It was nice meeting you." I give her a tiny smile and a little wave. Then she says to Daniel, "make sure you tell Hannah I said thank you for dinner."

Daniel opens the door and walks outside with her. As soon as he shuts the door I run to the front window to peek out. He walks her down the steps and out to her car. I can't see past the porch since the porch light is on and it's getting dark outside. The cars are parked out on the driveway too and that's past the grass in front of the house and on the other side of the little white picket fence. I watch until I see Daniel walking back up the steps to the front door.

"Did you kiss her?!" I ask as soon as he comes inside.

He looks down at me and says, "isn't it your bedtime?"

"Nobody told me to go to bed yet. So did you kiss her?"

He's not answering me. He sits back down on the couch and picks up his guitar. I stand next to him and listen to him play. But then he stops suddenly and says, "dang it!" He gets up and picks up all his music sheets and walks to the stairs.

"What's wrong Daniel?" I ask as I follow him.

"Nothing!" He walks upstairs with me following behind him. I can hear him talking quietly to himself. "Dang curfew! If I wasn't in school I could do whatever I wanted to!"

"What do you mean?" I ask him when we get to the top of the stairs.

"Nothing Heidi. Just leave me alone," he says that when we walk by Adam and Hannah's room.

"Heidi?" Hannah calls out. "Have you taken your bath yet?"

Oops. That's what I was supposed to be doing instead of listening to Daniel and Tanya sing. "Not yet," I tell her.

She comes to her doorway and says, "it's bedtime. You should've been out of the bath by now and all ready for bed."

"Sorry, I forgot."

"Well, get in there and take a quick one."

"Ok." I skip to my room to get my pajamas.

* * *

Adam and Hannah come into my room to tuck me in. I'm sitting cross-legged on my bed combing the tangles out of my hair. Hannah sits down next to me and takes the comb from me and tries to get the tangles out.

"You've got a rats nest back here," she says.

"That always happens after I go swimming," I tell her.

"Even after you wash your hair?"

"Yep."

Adam sits on the other side of me and asks how school was.

"Ok. I didn't get in trouble," I tell him.

"That's always nice to hear."

"I think I made a new friend. I'm not sure yet, but she's in fifth grade."

"New friends are always nice to have," Hannah says. "You can never have too many friends."

"Well, she says she wants to be best friends, and I already have one of those. Guess what Adam?! Guthrie caught a bullfrog that was bigger than his hand! It was bigger than 'both' his hands put together!"

"That must've been hard to catch," he says.

"Yep, but he caught it."

"Is that why you guys were late for dinner?" He asks.

"I don't know. We were just having fun catching all kinds of things! We found a turtle, but we couldn't catch it, we saw two snakes, 'lots' of tadpoles, and tons of frogs! But only one bullfrog."

Adam and Hannah smile at me. "Sounds like you found lots of critters."

"Yep. We're gonna see if we can catch the bullfrog again when we go swimming tomorrow," I tell them as I get up off the bed. They get up too and I pull the covers back and get on the bed. Adam covers me up and they sit back down.

"We'll have to talk about that tomorrow," Hannah says. "I'm not sure you're going swimming if you can't be back in time for dinner." She gives me a kiss on the forehead.

"Story or song tonight?" Adam asks.

"Song. Guess what? Daniel showed Tanya all the songs he's working on. She said they were good enough to make a record. She says he should bring them to LA."

"I bet she did," Adam says quietly and Hannah puts her hand on his arm. She does that when she wants him to calm down. I don't know why she did it this time because I don't think he's mad, but I'm not sure.

Adam and Hannah sing me a song and I smile up at them while I listen. My mom sang a lot to my brothers when she would tuck them in at night, and they want me to learn the songs too. So they sing them to me all the time. When Adam and Hannah finish singing they each give me a kiss on my forehead. Then they get up and I turn on my side and close my eyes. They leave my little pink lamp on when they leave because I'm scared of the dark. I always sleep with it on. I had a busy day today so it shouldn't take me long to fall asleep.

Daniel walks by my room and he says, "I don't know why I have to have a curfew. I'm eighteen!" He must be talking to Adam and Hannah in the hallway. They must be just outside my door because I can hear everything they say.

"Daniel, you only have a month left of school," Adam says.

"But I'm eighteen!"

"I know that! And when you graduate high school, you won't have a curfew. I want you to concentrate on your schoolwork, that's why you have a curfew."

"But school means nothing to me! My music does! Tanya told me my songs are good enough to make a record!"

"Good. After you graduate your songs will still be good enough to make a record."

"Are you gonna let me leave the ranch?" Daniel asks.

"Daniel, I don't want to talk about this now. It's late and I know you have homework to do."

"See, you won't give me an answer! Just like you wouldn't let Evan leave to join the rodeo!"

"He's a junior! Of course I'm not gonna let him leave to join the rodeo circuit!" They're quiet for a while and then Adam says, "look Daniel, Mom and Dad knew how important getting a high school diploma was. I know they would want you to graduate."

"You don't know that! How do you know that when they're not here?!"

"Whoa Daniel! Calm down and think about what you're saying right now before you say something you're going to...,"

"Adam, _you_ want me to graduate!" Daniel interrupts him. "Just leave me alone now! _Dad_!"

"Daniel wait...,"

"Let him go," Hannah says. I didn't even know Hannah was there. She's been quiet this whole time. Daniel must be going downstairs.

Adam says, "Hannah, why does being a parent have to be so hard sometimes?"

"I don't know, Adam. What I do know is, you're doing a good job. He's mad right now. Let him cool off and you can talk to him later."

"Sometimes I don't know what the heck I'm doing."

"I know," she says.

I bet they're hugging now because they're quiet and I don't hear any footsteps leaving. I want to get out of bed and go see, but I don't. I'm tired now so I close my eyes. I think Adam's a good dad, and that's the last thing I think about before I fall asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

I'm tired when Hannah wakes me up in the morning. After she leaves my room I sit up on my bed and stare at my dresser. I don't feel like getting up. I look out my doorway and watch Evan, Ford and Daniel walk by on their way downstairs. They leave for school before Guthrie and I do because their high school is in Angeles Camp. Evan and Ford sound happy. They're talking a lot as they go downstairs. Daniel doesn't look happy when he walks by, and I don't hear him talking at all. I wonder if he's still mad at Adam.

I fall back on my bed so I'm laying back down and close my eyes. I can hear Hannah saying goodby to my brothers as they leave for school. Daniel is graduating this year. Oh, so that's why Adam wants him to stay here and finish school. There's only a month left of school! Why would Daniel want to leave now when he's so close to graduating? I wonder if we'll have a graduation party. Wait, if Daniel's graduating in a month does that mean he's going to move out in a month? He can't leave! I stare at my ceiling to think.

"Heidi!" Hannah yells from downstairs. "Are you up? It's time to go! Now!"

I sit up fast and yell, "yeah, I'll be down in a minute!" I run to my door and shut it. I open my dresser drawer and start pulling out a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. It's gonna be hot again today so I'm not gonna wear a long sleeved cowgirl shirt. I get dressed quickly and pull on some socks and pull my cowgirl boots on. I look at my hair in my mirror. The mirror is above my dresser and since my dresser is tall I can only see the top part of my face. I guess my hair looks ok. At least the top part does, so I don't need to brush my hair. I run to my door and swing it open and run down the hallway to the stairs. Hannah's waiting for me at the front door. She hands me my lunch and a muffin to eat on my way out to the bus stop since I missed breakfast. Then she leans down and kisses my cheek.

"Have a good day," she says.

I kiss her cheek and say, "you too! Bye!"

Then I run outside to catch up with Guthrie.

* * *

It doesn't take me long to catch up with him. He's almost at the end of our driveway.

"How come you're so late?" He asks me.

"I'm tired."

"Me too," he says. "I'm so excited though! I can't wait to get Scott's phone number so I can go over to his house!"

I do NOT want to talk about Scott and his dirt bike right now. I'm too busy thinking about Daniel. "Guthrie, why does Daniel want to make a record now, instead of after he graduates? He only has a month left of school."

Guthrie thinks about that. "I don't know."

"Do you think he'll leave as soon as he graduates?"

"I hope not! I never really thought about him leaving before."

"Me either," I tell him. "When Crane left we knew he was coming back. He came back home on the weekends a lot too. What if Daniel doesn't come back? I don't want him to leave."

"I don't either," Guthrie says.

We walk down the road quietly for a while. "Maybe we can come up with a plan to make him stay."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Guthrie says.

"Why not? I don't want him to leave."

"I don't either, but we can't make him stay if he doesn't want to."

We stand at our stop and wait for the bus. It should be coming soon. We're both quiet while we wait. I never thought about one of my brothers leaving the ranch and not coming back. There has to be a way I can make Daniel want to stay. Maybe I can think of a way while I ride the bus to school.

* * *

Once I get to school I put my lunch outside my classroom door and then run out to the playground. I thought a lot about a plan to make Daniel stay while I was riding the bus, but I couldn't think of anything good. Denise is already out on the playground and I find her jumping rope with Kelly, so I run over to them. They're laughing and they look like they're having a lot of fun.

"Hi!" Denise says when she sees me. "Do you want to play too?" There's only two ropes so Denise hands me hers. Then she says, "Kelly knows a funny jumping song she's been teaching me."

"Ok. Hey, now that there's three people that want to jump, we can tie these two ropes together and make a long jump rope. Wanna play that way?" It's a lot funner to jump when other people turn the rope.

"Ok," Denise says. We look at Kelly and wait for her to stop jumping and give us her rope, but she doesn't stop.

"Kelly, let's put our ropes together so we can all play at the same time," Denise says.

Kelly stops jumping and looks at us. "Why can't we just keep playing like this?"

Denise and I look at each other. Then I look at Kelly and say, "so no one has to sit out." I want to say "it's called sharing", but I don't. I think Kelly is ignoring me because she goes back to jumping. I hand the rope back to Denise. "Here, you can jump. You had the rope first."

"No, you can," she says and she won't take it from me. The bell rings so we don't get any more time to play anyways. Kelly and I run to the box to put the ropes away.

"See you next recess, Heidi," Kelly says as she runs by me.

I stand and watch her run to her class. I walk over to Denise and wonder if Denise likes Kelly. We're both quiet. It looked like Denise was having a lot of fun jumping rope with Kelly before I came. She must like her. I'll have to ask her next recess, if I get a chance to. But if Kelly hangs around us I won't get to. I'll have to ask her during class.

* * *

During reading time we start a new book. It's about a girl who lives during the ice age. I think she's ten like all of us are in fourth grade. Well, some of us are still nine. When my teacher told us how to pronounce the main character's name I laughed out loud. So did a few other kids. I didn't mean to laugh, it just came out. If something's funny to me, I laugh. The girl's name is Maroo.

"Heidi, that's not funny," Ms. Wilson says. "Just because her name sounds different to you doesn't mean you can laugh and make fun of it."

"Sorry." I didn't think laughing was making fun of it. I guess she's right. I wonder if Maroo would laugh at my name.

We read the first chapter together. My teacher calls on us to read a page or two out loud. I like the story so far, so I pay attention. But when we're done reading it our teacher wants us to write three sentences about what we read, so I groan. I don't like writing. Especially if I have to think of the stuff to write. I know what happened in the chapter. Why do I have to write it down? Why can't I just tell her what happened instead?

When Ms. Wilson passes out the paper I stare at mine. I don't know what to write. I look around the classroom and most of the kids are writing. Denise is. She's smart. This might be a good time to talk to her about Kelly.

"Denise," I whisper.

She looks over at me. "What?"

"Do you like Kelly?"

"What?"

I'm gonna have to talk louder than a whisper. I look at my teacher sitting at her desk. She's busy writing something and I smile. I wonder if she's writing her own sentences about the chapter. I look back at Denise. "I said, do you like...,"

"Heidi," Ms. Wilson says, "get back to work."

I look back at my paper and pick up my pencil and sigh. I really want to talk to Denise before the next recess. I'll try again. "Denise," I whisper, and she looks at me. But then she looks at the front of the classroom and shakes her head a tiny bit and looks back down at her paper.

I look at the front of the classroom and see Ms. Wilson staring at me so I sigh again. This is going to be harder than I thought. I guess I'll just have to write Denise a note. I pick up my pencil and write on my paper real big, "do you like Kelly?" I hold it up to show Denise and whisper, "Denise."

She starts to look at my paper, but Ms. Wilson stands up from her desk and Denise looks at her paper again. I know Ms. Wilson stood up because I heard her chair scraping across the floor. I put my paper on my desk and turn it over so the writing doesn't show. I pick up my pencil and pretend to write something while I hear the clicking from my teacher's high heeled shoes as she walks down the aisle to my desk. She stops at my desk and I can feel her staring down at me.

"Let me see your paper," she says.

I look up at her and stare at her hand that she's holding out. I'm not giving her my paper.

"Give me your paper," she says.

"Why?"

"Because I want to see what you've written. Hand me your paper."

"I didn't write anything. See?" I point to the paper laying on my desk. There's no writing on the front.

"I want to see the back," she says.

I slide a little lower in my seat and look down at my paper and say, "I don't want you to."

She picks up my paper and turns it over and reads it. Luckily she reads it to herself. "Put your head down on your desk Heidi. You can work on the assignment during recess."

I put my head down and listen to my teacher walk back to her desk. I look at the clock. I only have five minutes until recess so that's not too long to wait. The bad thing is I won't get to talk to Denise at recess. I sigh and watch the clock with my head down on my desk.

* * *

During recess my teacher helps me with my writing. It's easier for me to write when someone helps me. Hannah helps me at home when I have writing homework. When recess is over and everyone comes back inside, Denise looks really happy. Her shirt is a little bit wet and so is her hair.

"Heidi, I had so much fun at recess! Kelly and I had a water fight! Kelly said if you want to have a water fight you have to do it in the girls' bathroom, not at the drinking fountain where teachers can see you!"

Makes sense. "Wait, _you_ had a water fight? You weren't afraid you'd get in trouble?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I guess not. Playing with Kelly was really fun." Then she stops smiling and says, "I'm sorry you couldn't go out. What were you trying to tell me during writing time?"

"Never mind," I tell her. I think I already know the answer. The answer is yes, she does like Kelly.

"Ok. I can't wait until lunchtime! Kelly said she has a surprise for us!"

Hmm. I hope it's a surprise I'll like, because so far I'm not sure I like Kelly a whole lot.

"Take your math books out," my teacher says. Lots of kids groan and I take mine out. I hate math the worst, but right now I don't care about that. I'm concentrating more on what's going to happen at lunch recess.

* * *

"Hi guys!" Kelly says as she scoots herself in between Denise and I at the lunch table. I decided I'm not going to talk to Denise about Kelly. I can tell Denise likes her because she's been talking about her the whole time we've been sitting here.

"Hi," Denise says as she moves over.

"Look what I brought!" Kelly says. She pulls out three bags of Pop Rocks from her lunch bag.

"Pop Rocks!" I shout. I love those.

"Yes. I brought one for each of you." Kelly gives a package to each of us and we say thanks. I open mine right away and start eating them. Maybe Kelly isn't so bad after all.

"Heidi, you should have a water fight with us in the bathroom when we're done eating," Kelly says. "Wasn't that so much fun Denise?"

"Yes!"

When we finish our lunches and leave the cafeteria, we run to the girls bathroom.

There are two sinks in the bathroom. "Get some paper towels and start plugging up the drains with them," Kelly says.

I watch Denise and Kelly crumple up paper towels and stuff them in the drains. Then they turn the sinks on. The sinks start to fill up with water. The paper towels don't plug the sinks all the way up, but it plugs them enough so the sinks start filling with water. Then Denise and Kelly start splashing each other and I join them. This is a lot of fun, and there's no adults to stop us! We keep laughing and splashing each other until the door opens. We stop playing and look to see who it is. It's Kelly's ex-friends that ditched her yesterday.

"Can we play too?" One of the girls asks.

"No!" Kelly yells. "We were here first!"

"We can share," Denise says. "It'll be fun with more of us. We can be on teams."

"Yeah!" I say.

"No!" Kelly yells and she looks mad. She's glaring at her ex-friends.

Denise walks up to me and whispers in my ear. "Let's go, Heidi. Kelly looks really mad."

"No," I tell her. "I want to have a water fight. It's so hot outside and you already got to have one with her last recess."

"Ok," she says quietly, and she steps back away from me so she's standing against the back wall.

I don't pay attention to who I splash next, I just start splashing. The other girls laugh and start splashing me back. I guess that makes Kelly madder because she fills her hands full of water and dumps it on her ex-friend Laura. Kelly kind of pushes her when she does that, so Laura falls against the wall a little bit. She starts to cry a tiny bit and Kelly splashes her again.

"Stop!" Laura cries.

I feel sorry for Laura. I guess her friends do too because they comfort her and take her out of the bathroom.

I look at Kelly and she's smiling a little bit. Then Denise asks Kelly, "do you like Laura?"

"No! I hate her!"

"Why?" I ask.

"Ever since Kim and Tammy started being friends with Laura, they didn't want to do stuff with me anymore. Laura doesn't like to do fun stuff. She only wants to do boring stuff and they want to do it with her! I hate her!"

Kelly looks really mad. I look at Denise and she looks at me. Neither one of us knows what to say.

Kelly says, "but you guys are fun! Let's get back to our water fight!" She splashes me and I laugh and splash her back. Both of us keep splashing each other until a girl runs in and says a teacher is coming.

"I bet Laura told on us!" Kelly says as she unplugs the sinks and throws the paper towels in the trash can. Then we run out of the bathroom and out to the playground so we don't get caught.

"That was fun!" I yell. I look at Denise and she doesn't say anything. "What's wrong?" I ask her.

"Nothing," she says. I can tell she wants to say something but she doesn't. Kelly wants us to go sit on the bars with her so we run over to them. I think I like Kelly. Maybe she's not so bad after all.

* * *

At the last recess Kelly wants us to sit with her under the big oak tree. I'd rather play tag or do something else, but it's really hot so we sit with her. All she wants to talk about is her ex-friends. She says they were really mean to her, but it sounds to me like she's being mean to Laura, so they don't like Kelly anymore. It sounds like Kelly's jealous of Laura and that's why she's mad. I don't say anything though, I just listen. Denise does too. Kelly talks forever. She keeps talking and talking about how much she hates Laura. She talks for the whole recess. When the bell rings and we get up, she runs off saying, "bye! See you tomorrow!"

Denise and I walk quietly back to class. I kind of want to ask Denise if she likes Kelly, but I'm afraid to. I think Denise likes her because they had so much fun at the first recess, but it also seems like Denise wants to say something to me, only she's not. But then I remember something I know Denise will like. "Denise! I almost forgot! Hannah said I might be able to come over to your house tomorrow after school! She's gonna call your mom to set it up!"

Denise is happy about that. "Yeah! We'll have so much fun!"

"I know! I can't wait!"

We're both happy now and I forget all about Kelly.

* * *

"Oh my gosh Guthrie! Stop talking about dirt bike Scott!" I yell as we walk home from the bus stop. He's been talking about Scott the whole way to our driveway and I'm tired of it.

He laughs. "That's funny! It kind of sounds like you're saying dirt bag Scott."

"I know, that's how I meant it to sound!" I yell. "Dirt bike, dirt bike, dirt bike! That's all you ever talk about!"

"Sorry," he says as we walk down the driveway.

"That's ok, it's just that I already had someone talk and talk and talk about somebody they hate. She talked about her for the whole last recess!"

"Denise?"

"No. Kelly from fifth grade. She's been playing with Denise and I at recesses because he friends are being mean to her. She's kind of getting on my nerves now."

"Kelly?" Guthrie asks. "Kelly, April's sister?"

"Yes."

"April's in my class and she's always talking about how much Kelly bugs her. She says Kelly gets jealous a lot when she has friends over." Then Guthrie laughs and says, "kind of like you, when I have a friend over!"

"I do not get jealous!" I yell.

He teases me the rest of the way to the house, but I don't care because it's kind of fun. We laugh and push each other a little bit while yelling back and forth. He yells, "you're jealous!" And I yell, "am not!". It's fun.

We stop when we reach the porch steps, and then we run inside the house and into the kitchen to find Hannah. She's washing dishes.

"Did you talk to Denise's mom?!" I ask her. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes, I wish in my head.

"Well, hello to you too," she says. She smiles at me and puts her hands on her hips.

"Sorry, hi Hannah." I hug her and then ask, "so? Did you?"

"Yes. You're going home with Denise tomorrow and I'm picking you up at seven."

"Seven? You're working the dinner shift?" I ask. I don't think Adam's gonna like that.

"Just half of it. And don't worry Adam already knows and he's fine with it."

"He is? Why?"

"He needs to help out at the Miller Ranch tomorrow afternoon, and whatever job needs to be done they have to get it done no matter how long it takes."

"Even if it takes them 'till midnight?" Guthrie asks and we laugh.

Hannah puts her hands up in the air and says, "that's what he said."

Guthrie hands Hannah a small piece of paper. "I got Scott's phone number."

"Good. Why don't you call him first and then I'll talk to his mom or dad."

"Ok," Guthrie says and he runs to the big desk in the living room where the phone is.

"How was school Heidi?" Hannah asks.

I'm eating a cookie now so I wait until I'm done chewing and then I say, "ok. I had a water fight at lunch."

"The teachers let you do that?"

"Are you kidding?! Of course not! They never let us have any fun! We had it in the bathroom where no one could see us."

"I don't think you should be doing that," she says as she dries a plate. She's staring at me when she says that and I can tell she's not happy.

"We didn't get caught," I tell her. I'm starting to get a tiny bit mad because I don't see what the big deal is.

"That's not the point," she says. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to be having water fights at school."

I shrug my shoulders at her. "I don't know."

"Yes you do. Why did you have the water fight in the bathroom where no one could see you?"

I glare at her. I'm not going to tell her she's right, even though I know I'm not supposed to have a water fight.

"Heidi?"

"What?"

"I don't want you to have water fights at school," she says.

"What?! Why? You're not a teacher there, you can't tell me...," I stop talking because the expression on her face turns from sort of happy to not happy. Luckily Guthrie comes running in.

"Scott's mom is ready to talk to you. She said I could come over and she'll give you the address."

When Hannah walks by me she says, "we'll finish talking about this later."

As soon as I'm done with my cookies and lemonade I tell Guthrie I'm going to go do my chores.

"Do you want to go to the pond after?" He asks.

"If Hannah will let us," I tell him.

"Oh, right. If she doesn't we could play with the hose or something."

I shrug my shoulders and run out the back door.

* * *

After we finish our chores Guthrie and I go to the pond. Hannah let us go as long as we come home before dinner. She said if we weren't home by then, we couldn't go to the pond for the rest of the week.

We had a lot of fun swimming and floating around on the log for a little bit. We looked for the bullfrog again and today we found two! We caught them and decided we'd keep them, so we carried them back to the house. We're not going to be late today.

When we get close to the house, we see Adam and Brian walking to the house too. They must be done working for the day.

"Look what we found! Look what we found!" I yell as I run up to them. I hold my hands up to them to show them the big bull frog I caught. Guthrie comes running up behind me and shows them his. Mine is a little smaller than Guthrie's, but they're still huge. We have to carry them with both our hands.

"Those are some good sized bullfrogs," Brian says.

"I know," Guthrie says. "They were hard to catch. We're gonna bring them inside and keep them in a box."

"Does Hannah know that?" Brian asks.

"Not yet!" I say and I run towards the porch. When I get to the door I have to wait for Adam to open it because my hands are full. I run into the kitchen and yell, "look Hannah! Look what I caught."

Crane and Hannah are in the kitchen and they look at me. Crane says, "that's a big one."

"Mine's bigger!" Guthrie says when he runs in.

"They're gonna be our pets," I tell them.

"Outside pets," Hannah says.

"No, inside," I tell her. "We're gonna keep them in a box."

"Not in this house," Hannah says.

"Why not?" Guthrie asks.

"I don't want to find one of those hopping around the house," she says.

"You won't," I tell her. "They're gonna be in a box."

Crane laughs and says, "like the little garter snake you kept in a box that made its way into the laundry? Or the big snake you tried to keep in a box that Ford found while he was taking a shower?"

Brian, Adam, Crane, Guthrie and I all laugh because we remember how loud Ford yelled. Hannah doesn't look so happy. I plop my bullfrog on the kitchen table and hold it down with one hand while I wipe my other hand on my shirt. "This one's gonna stay in the box."

"Out on the porch," Hannah says. "And off the kitchen table," she says as she points to my frog. "We're eating dinner in a half hour."

I look over at Guthrie and he says, "who's gonna get us a box?"

"I'm on it," Crane says. "Go wait for me out on the porch." He leaves the kitchen and walks into the laundry room.

I pick up my frog and go stand by the back door. I can't open it so I have to wait. I watch Hannah stirring a pot on the stove. I wonder why we can't keep the frogs inside. It doesn't seem fair. Brian opens the back door for us and we go wait for Crane out on the back porch.

* * *

Guthrie and I sit on the floor of the porch on our knees. Guthrie pokes holes in his shoe box with a pen, while I hold both frogs. I have to hold them by laying them on the porch and holding them down with my hands. I have a hand on each frog and I push down on them hard to keep them still.

"What are we gonna feed them Guthrie?"

"Flys or spiders or something like that." When he's done poking holes he opens the box and takes his frog from me. He puts it in the shoe box and covers it with the top. "Put your hand on top of this while I go get some tape, and then I'll make your box." He gets up and almost runs into Adam as he goes through the back door.

"Sorry," he says.

I look up at Adam and watch him walk over to me and sit down on the bench that's near where I'm sitting.

"Look," I tell Adam as I take my hand off the box Guthrie's frog is in and open the lid a little. "This one's Guthrie's frog."

He nods his head and stares at me. I don't like the way he's looking at me. It's the look he gives me when I do something wrong. I don't like that look so I look down at my frog.

"Heidi, did you tell Hannah she wasn't a teacher at your school so she couldn't tell you what to do there?"

I keep staring at my frog and don't say anything. I have to think about that. Did I?

"I'm asking you a question," Adam says in his serious voice. "Look at me." I look up at him and he looks serious too.

"I'm thinking." I stare at him some more before finally saying, "no."

"She says you did."

"Well, I didn't."

"Then why don't you tell me what you did say."

"I don't want to."

"Why?"

"Because you won't like it."

"Why won't I like it?"

"Because I sort of said that."

"What?"

"What she said I said."

"What was that?"

"What you said."

"Heidi!" Adam yells.

I start to cry a little because I don't like it when he yells.

He sighs and looks a little tired. "Just tell me what you said," Adam says. He's calmer now.

"I said, you're not a teacher so you can't tell me. That's all I said, 'you can't tell me'. I didn't say the 'what to do part'."

"That's the same thing!" He yells.

"No it's not! How's that the same thing! I didn't say all the words!"

"It's the same thing!" He says again.

Guthrie comes back out with the tape. He stops and looks at us for a minute and then he sits down and takes his box out from under my hand. After he opens the lid to look at his frog, he tapes it shut. Then he starts poking holes with a pen in my box.

I pick up my frog with both my hands now and hold it in my lap.

"Heidi, you can't talk to Hannah like that," Adam says. "It wasn't nice. She doesn't want you to have a water fight at school so you don't get hurt."

"I didn't get hurt." I stand up with my frog and hold it up to his face. "Do you think she's a boy or a girl?"

He takes his hand and pushes my frog down away from his face. "I'm talking to you," he says. "Are you listening to me?"

I look up at him and nod my head. "Adam, I'm not used to Hannah telling me what to do. I don't like it."

"You don't like it when anyone tells you what to do," he says. "And you are to used to Hannah telling you what to do."

I put my bullfrog on his leg and pat it. "How come she won't let us keep the frogs inside the house?" I ask him.

"Some girls don't like animals like frogs or snakes inside."

"I do, and I'm a girl."

"You grew up in a house full of boys. Hannah didn't."

"She lives in a house full of boys now," I tell him.

"Heidi, I don't want to talk about the frogs right now. I want to talk about what Hannah talked to you about. Hannah's not telling you what to do, she's...,"

"Yes she is! She said I couldn't have a water fight at school!"

"Then you say, 'ok, I won't', and that's the end of it!" He yells. I start to cry again and I take my frog off his leg and hold it again. Adam sighs again and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Look at me Heidi." I do. "If I told you not to have a water fight at school what would you say to me?" He asks.

I hear Guthrie laugh a tiny bit while I think about that question. I look at him and he puts his finger to his lips and then mouths, "don't say it."

Hmm, I have to think about this. What would I say? I'd say the same thing I said to Hannah. "I'd say, you're not a teach...,"

Adam shakes his head at me and Guthrie laughs again. Then Adam says, "Guthrie stop laughing. Heidi, you'd better not tell me you'd say, I'm not a teacher so I can't tell you what to do."

I sigh and sit down on the bench next to him. "Ok. But Adam, why can't I have a water fight at school?" I look up at him.

"Because they don't want you to."

"But why?"

"I don't know why. Just don't do it anymore ok?"

"Ok, I won't. Now will you tell me if my frog's a boy or a girl?" I hold it up to him again.

He takes it out of my hand and looks at. "Girl," he says. "I'm expecting you to apologize to Hannah."

"Ok, I will." He hands me my frog but I don't take her. "You can hold her if you want."

When Guthrie's finished with my box, Adam puts the frog inside and I put the top on. Then Guthrie tapes it shut.

"What are you going to do with these?" Adam asks us.

"I don't know," I say.

"We'll probably just keep them for a few days and then put them back," Guthrie says.

"Do you want to help us find something for them to eat?" I ask Adam.

"Sure, I can help. I'm sure we can find something for them on the porch." He stands up and looks around for spider webs.

"What about a moth?" Guthrie asks.

"If you find one," Adam says.

I stay on the bench and hold my box up to my eyes. I try to look at my frog through one of the holes in the box. I can't see anything because the hole is too small. I wish the box wasn't taped shut.

"Whatcha got in there?" Evan asks. I didn't even see him and Ford walk up.

"A bullfrog! She's big! Guthrie's is bigger though." I hand Evan the box and he takes it. Guthrie runs over and tells Evan to open it. Then he puts something inside for the frog to eat. I think it's a spider.

"Tape it shut! Quick!" Guthrie says.

Hannah opens the back door and says, "come on in guys, dinner's ready! Wash those hands and make sure those boxes stay out here."

Guthrie and I set our boxes on the bench and go inside. Then we run upstairs to wash our hands.

* * *

When we're all sitting down at the dinner table and start passing the food around we're missing someone.

"Where's Daniel?" Guthrie asks.

"Band practice," Hannah says.

Everyone's quiet so I say, "is Daniel gonna leave?"

When no one answers I ask, "is he gonna leave now, before he graduates?"

"No, Heidi," Hannah says.

"He'd better not," Brian says. I'm surprised Brian says that and not Adam.

"That would be dumb if he doesn't stick it out for the last month of school," Crane says.

"We should come up with a plan to make him stay," I say.

I jump when everyone yells, "no!"

Adam looks at me and yells, "don't even _think_ about coming up with a plan to make Daniel stay! Do you hear me?!"

I nod my head and my eyes start to water so I look down at my plate. Nobody ever likes my plans.

"Heidi, your plans never work," Evan says. "All your plans ever do is...,"

Hannah interrupts him. "That's enough Evan. Why don't we talk about something else now."

Everyone goes back to passing the food around the table and eventually they start talking about their day. Not me. I'm not saying anything anymore. Guthrie can't stop talking about going over to Scott's house tomorrow and riding his dirt bike. At the other end of the table they start talking about ranch stuff. Then I remember what Adam said to me about Hannah.

"Hannah?"

She looks at me and smiles.

"I'm sorry I said you couldn't tell me what to do at school."

"Heidi, I just want you to follow the rules at school so you don't get hurt or get in trouble." She keeps talking but my brain starts thinking of other things. Why can't I have a water fight if I don't get caught? I wonder why we can't have a water fight to begin with? I didn't get hurt.

"Heidi?" I hear Hannah say so I look at her. "Are you listening to me?"

"Yes."

Guthrie laughs and says, "no you weren't!"

I glare at him and say, "how do you know?"

"Because she asked you if you wanted vanilla ice cream for dessert or chocolate!" He keeps laughing.

"No she didn't! We're still eating dinner!"

"She tricked you!"

I glare at him and Hannah says, "it wasn't really a trick. Were you listening to me?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"Heidi," she says, "there's a reason why they don't want you to have water fights at school."

I say quietly, "because they don't want us to have fun!"

"I'm sure that's not the reason why," she says. "My guess is, it's because they didn't want someone to get hurt."

"But we didn't get hurt!"

"_This_ time," she says. "Please don't have water fights at school."

I'm mad and I open my mouth to yell something at her, but then I think about what Adam told me earlier. Hannah doesn't want me to get hurt or get in trouble. I guess she's trying to take care of me. "Ok," I tell her. She smiles at me but I don't smile back. I'm not mad anymore, but I'm not happy either.

* * *

After dinner I have homework to do. Math homework. Guthrie, Evan and Ford have homework too. They're sitting at the kitchen table doing theirs, while I stand at the table to do mine. I hate multiplication and I don't feel like thinking right now.

"What's three times four?" I ask out loud and hope someone answers.

"Twelve," Evan says.

I write that down and Ford says, "don't tell her the answer."

"I don't know these problems," I tell them.

"Probably because you didn't look at them," Hannah says. I look over to her as she walks into the kitchen. Darn! Then she says, "Heidi, do your own work."

"You sound like my teacher," I tell her. "And that's not a good thing," I say that part quietly.

Hannah walks over to me and sits down next to me. "Should we work on your flashcards?"

"No way!" I look at my math ditto and really look at the problems. They're not that hard. She watches me do the first five problems and then I get stuck. I think for a while and then I remember it. It's hard to memorize all these problems!

"Good job," she says when I finish the whole paper.

"Did I get them right?" I ask her.

She smiles and gives me a little hug. "Every single one of them."

"Yeah!" That makes me happy. That's all the homework I had to do, so now I'm done! "Do you want to hold my bullfrog?" I ask her. "Outside?"

"Sure."

She comes out the back door with me and we go sit on the bench where our frog boxes are. I open mine and carefully pick my frog up. I have to use two hands and I lift him out of the box. "Put your hands out."

Hannah puts her hands on her lap and holds them open. I set my bullfrog on them and then I hold my hand on top of it so it doesn't jump.

"It's cold," she says.

"Yep. Do you think it feels slimy?"

"No. It feels a little moist."

"Have you ever held one before?"

"When I was a little girl."

I take my hand off and Hannah puts her hands around the frog.

"Adam says she's a girl. Do you want to help me name her?!"

"Ok, what do you think?" Hannah holds her up and looks at her all over. "Is she a Gertrude?"

I laugh. "No!" Then I think. "How about Dory?"

"That sounds like a nice bullfrog name."

"Ok, you hold Dory, and I'll find her something to eat." It's dark outside so the porch light is on and there's lots of moths flying around it. I stand on the bench next to Hannah and catch one in my hands. Then I jump down and hold my hands close to Dory's mouth. I open my hands and the moth flies away. "How come she didn't eat it?" I ask.

"Maybe she's scared because I'm holding her."

"Oh. Let's put her back in the box and then and I'll catch another moth to put in there with her." I bring the box to Hannah and she puts Dory inside carefully and I put the lid on. "Ok, hold your hand on top of the box while I catch another moth." I stand back up on the bench and catch one. I jump down and Hannah opens the lid a little bit and I stuff the moth inside quickly and she closes the lid. Then I tape it back up.

"Let's go wash our hands now," Hannah says as she stands up.

"Did you like holding Dory," I ask her as I follow her back in the house.

"Yes. She's a nice bullfrog."

"Nice enough to bring insiiiiide?" I ask while I smile up at her.

"Nooooooo," she says as she smiles down at me.

I close the back door and skip into the living room. I'm glad Hannah wanted to see my frog even if she won't let me keep her inside. Adam and Crane are sitting on the couch.

"Why are you so happy?" Crane asks.

I keep skipping to the stairs and smiling. "I just am," I tell him. Then I run up the stairs to go wash my hands in the bathroom.

* * *

When it's time for me to go to bed I ask Hannah to read me a story.

"Ok, which one?"

"Snow White," I say quietly.

She looks at me a little funny at first and then she smiles. "Ok, where is it."

"Probably under my bed. I'll look for it." My room is small. It's big enough for a bed and a dresser and an old wooden chair. I keep lots of stuff under my bed so I lay on the floor and scoot under it. I have a few princess books and I know they're probably way in the back because I don't read them anymore. I see Snow White way back against the wall so I scoot under the bed more and reach for it. "I got it! Now pull me out!"

"What?" Hannah asks.

"Pull me out! That's what everyone else does. Grab my feet and pull me out."

She grabs my ankles and pulls me out slowly.

"You can do it faster than that! Everyone else does," I tell her, but she doesn't pull me out any faster. Once I'm out I get up and jump onto my bed. I get under the covers and scoot all the way over so Hannah can sit next to me. "Lay down next to me."

We both scoot so we're laying with our heads resting against my pillow that's propped up against my head board. Then she opens the book so we can both see the pages.

"Once upon a time...," she starts.

"Why do the princess books always start out that way?" I ask.

"Because it's make believe." She starts reading again. "Once upon a time...,"

"Why don't they start it by saying...,"

"I don't know," she says.

"You don't even know what I was going to say!"

"I'm teasing you," she says. She laughs so I laugh.

I look at the picture of Snow White on the page. Hannah reminds me of her. She's pretty and has dark hair and pretty red lips. Hannah starts reading again and I look at her instead of the book. Hannah smells pretty too. Like flowers. Pretty flowers, not stinky flowers. I look at Hannah's hands while she holds the book. Her nails are painted a pretty red color. Without thinking I reach out and feel how smooth one of her nails is.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

I put my hand down. "Nothing." I look back at the book and listen to the story. I start to feel tired. When she's finished she closes the book and looks at me.

"Hannah? Did your mom read to you at bedtime?" I ask her.

"Yes."

"Would my mom have read to me?"

"Yes."

"Is that what a mom does?" Adam, Brian and Crane always read to me at bedtime.

"Yes."

"Are you going to read to your kids?"

"Yes."

"Like this?"

"Yes. Why are you asking?"

I shrug my shoulders because I don't really know why I'm asking these questions. I look up at my doorway because Adam walks in.

"Goodnight," Hannah says and she sits up and kisses me goodnight. When she stands up Adam walks over and leans down and kisses my forehead.

"Goodnight," he says.

"Goodnight. I watch them leave and then I close my eyes and go to sleep.

* * *

I open my eyes and look at my clock. 12:15. It's midnight. Why are people yelling? I get up out of bed and go stand in my doorway.

"You were supposed to be home an hour ago!" Adam yells at Daniel.

"Sorry! I lost track of time!"

Daniel, Adam and Hannah are standing in front of the front door. Adam has his pajamas on and Hannah is wearing hers too, with her robe over them.

"You've never lost track of time before. Your band always ends practice on time. That's the only reason I let you be in it. What happened?"

"Nothing happened! We just lost track of time! Leave me alone Adam!"

"No I won't leave you alone! This is a school night!"

"That's all you ever think about Adam! School!"

"It's important!" He yells. Hannah's next to Adam and he brushes her hand off his arm when she tries to put it there.

"It's important to you! It's not important to me!" Daniel tries to go upstairs, but Adam blocks him.

"Have you been drinking?!" Adam yells.

Daniel doesn't say anything. I look at Guthrie. He's downstairs on the bed he shares with Brian. He's sitting up listening to the fight and so is Brian. Except Brian gets up now and walks over to Daniel.

"Have you been drinking?" Brian asks.

"Maybe I had a beer or two. What's the big deal?! I didn't drive!"

"The big deal is it's a school night!" Adam yells.

"Well, I wanted to hang out with Tanya and her band! Ok?!"

"Did you even practice with your band or was that a lie? I don't like this new girl, Tanya!" Adam yells.

"Why?! Because she likes my music?!"

"No! Because I think she's a bad influence!"

"You don't even know her! She believes in me!" Daniel yells.

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

"She thinks I have what it takes to go to LA and make a record!"

"I do too! When you're older!"

"Let's face it Adam, you're never gonna let me leave the ranch!"

"Daniel!" Brian yells.

"What?! It's true! Adam, you want me to stay here, but I want to go out there and play my music!"

"I know you do! I want you to do that too! _After_ you graduate from high school!"

Hannah steps in now and says, "look, why don't we all calm down and go back to bed. You're waking everyone up, and this is something you can talk about tomorrow."

"Good idea," Brian says. I look down the hall and see Crane, Evan and Ford standing outside their room. They must've gotten woken up too.

"Well, the way I see it is," Daniel yells, "there's nothing to talk about!" He tries to go upstairs again but Adam won't let him.

"There's a lot to talk about! You aren't gonna be playing in any band if you can't be home on time on a school night!" Adam yells. "And there's no drinking on a school night either!"

Guthrie starts to cry and then I do. I don't like it when my brothers yell at each other. Brian goes back over to Guthrie and sits on the bed with him and hugs him. Crane walks down the hall to me and picks me up.

"Adam," Hannah says calmly, "let him go. You can talk about this tomorrow."

"Forget it!" Daniel yells. "I'm outta here!"

What? Where's he gonna go? What's he talking about? I watch Daniel start walking towards the front door and Adam tries to stop him.

"Adam!" Brian yells and he runs over to Adam and holds him back. Crane puts me down and runs downstairs. He follows Daniel outside. Hannah goes over to Guthrie and Evan and Ford rush over to me.

Ford picks me up and carries me to my bed. He puts me down on it and him and Evan sit next to me while I cry. Ford hugs me and Evan says, "it's going to be ok Heidi."

"But where's Daniel going? Why is Adam so mad? How come Daniel didn't come home on time?" I don't understand what just happened and I don't like it when my brothers fight. It's scary.

"Crane went outside to talk to Daniel. Daniel's not going anywhere," Evan says.

"How do you know? He said he was."

"He just needs to calm down, and Crane will help him do that, just like Brian is trying to calm Adam down."

"I don't like it when they fight."

"I know," Evan says. "Get back in bed and try to go back to sleep. There isn't going to be any more yelling tonight."

"But I want to make sure Daniel doesn't go anywhere."

"He's not going anywhere, Heidi. Crane's with him. He'll get him to come back inside," Ford says. He picks me up and Evan pulls my sheets back so Ford can put me back in bed.

They cover me up and I say, "I want Adam."

"Brian's talking to him right now. Let us stay with you for a little while." Evan says.

I look up at them and Ford says, "do you want me to read you a story?"

"Ok."

Evan picks up the Snow White book off my dresser and hands it to Ford. Then Evan says, "I'm gonna go downstairs for a minute."

He leaves and Ford starts reading me the story. It's hard for me to listen because I keep thinking about Daniel. When Ford is halfway through the book I hear someone walking upstairs. I look out into the hallway and watch Daniel and Crane walk by. Ford stops reading to watch them walk by too.

"See," he says, "Daniel's here and he's going to bed. He's alright."

I sigh and Ford starts reading again. I hear more footsteps coming upstairs and Hannah walks into my room. Ford puts the book down and gets up and leaves.

"Are you ok?" Hannah asks when she sits down on my bed. I start to cry a little and she lifts me up to hug me.

"Why was Adam yelling at Daniel?" I ask.

"Sh. They're not yelling anymore."

"It scares me when Adam and Daniel yell like that."

"I know, and I'm sorry. You need to go back to sleep now."

"Where's Daniel going?"

"No where. He's in bed now going to sleep and that's what you need to do, go back to sleep."

"I don't want Daniel to leave."

"I know. Close your eyes and I'll sing to you. You've got a busy day tomorrow. Remember? You're going to Denise's house after school." She rocks me gently while she hugs me and starts singing. I start to feel tired and soon I fall back asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm tired when Hannah wakes me up in the morning. I groan and pull the covers all the way up over my head. "It's too early Hannah!"

"No, it's time to get up," she says.

"I don't want to go to school today." I curl up in a little ball under the covers.

"Ok," she says. "I just call Denise's mom and tell her you're not coming over today."

Oh that's right! I forgot! I'm going to Denise's house after school today! "I'm up!" I yell as I throw the covers off of me and get out of bed really fast.

"Good," Hannah says. "Come down for breakfast as soon as you're dressed. Don't lie back down and go back to asleep."

"I won't!" I run out of my room and down to the bathroom. Daniel is combing his hair in there so I watch him from just outside the doorway. "Good morning," I say.

He looks down at me. "Good morning." He keeps combing his hair.

"Daniel? Are you going to leave?"

"What do you mean?" He asks. He picks up the toothpaste now and unscrews the cap.

"Are you gonna leave and never come back?" I ask.

He puts toothpaste on his toothbrush and says, "I don't know what you're talking about." He puts his toothbrush in his mouth and starts brushing.

"Why were you yelling at Adam last night?" I ask. When he doesn't answer, I ask him again.

"Heidi, can you go away," he says with his toothbrush hanging out of his mouth. "I have a headache."

"Is it because you drank beer last night?" He doesn't answer me. He just keeps on brushing his teeth. He brushes way longer than I do. "Daniel...,"

"Heidi, please leave me alone. I need to finish getting ready for school." He looks at me when I don't move. "Please?" He asks. "Go get dressed and when you're done I'll be out of the bathroom."

Hannah calls me from the kitchen. "Heidi, you'd better be up!"

Daniel looks at me and says, "see. Go get dressed."

"I'm up!" I yell downstairs. Then I go to my room to get dressed.

* * *

I run up to Denise as soon as I get to the playground. She sees me before I get to her so she runs up to meet me.

"I can't wait for you to come over!" She says.

"I know! Me either!" We're really happy and we clasp our hands together and jump up and down a little.

Kelly comes running up to us and she jumps up and down a little bit too. "What are you guys so excited about?"

"Heidi's coming over to my house after school today," Denise tells her.

Denise and I keep jumping but Kelly stops. She runs away from us and we watch her go. I'm kind of glad. I miss playing with just Denise. Not that me and Denise only play by ourselves, we play with other kids too, but we like playing when it's just the two of us. We haven't had a chance to do that lately since we've been playing with Kelly.

"Let's go climb the jungle gym," I suggest.

"Ok!" We run off towards it and when we start to climb up, a girl comes running up to us and says, "what'd you say to my sister that made her cry?"

I turn around and see Kelly's older sister, April, looking at us. "We didn't say anything to her," I tell April.

"She's crying and she says you guys were mean to her."

"No we weren't," Denise says.

"Then why is she crying?" April asks.

"I don't know," Denise says. The bell rings and the three of us stay where we're at and stare at each other. Then April says, "maybe you guys can talk to her at your next recess."

Denise and I look at each other and Denise says, "ok."

April runs off to her class and Denise and I walk to our class quietly. Why would Kelly be crying? We didn't say anything to her, and we didn't do anything to her. I wonder what's wrong with her. Why would she tell her sister we were mean to her? I wonder what Denise thinks. I'll have to wait until next recess to find out.

* * *

At the next recess Denise and I walk out to the playground together.

"Should we go find Kelly?" I ask her. I don't really want to.

"I guess we should," Denise says quietly. I don't think she wants to find her either.

We look around the playground and don't see Kelly anywhere. It's a super hot day. I wish we could have a water fight, but then I remember Hannah told me not to. "Let's go sit under the tree," I tell Denise.

"No, we should look for her. Maybe she's under the slide."

We run to the slide and sure enough, there's Kelly sitting underneath it. At least she's not crying this time.

"Hi Kelly," Denise says.

Kelly doesn't say anything. She doesn't even look up at us.

"Are you mad at us?" Denise asks.

Kelly still doesn't say anything.

"What's wrong Kelly?" Denise asks.

Kelly starts crying now. "I thought you were my friends!" She yells.

Denise and I look at each other and shrug our shoulders.

"We are," I say.

"No you're not! How come you invited Heidi to come over to your house and not me!" She yells that at Denise. Denise doesn't say anything. I don't know if she knows _what_ to say. I know I don't. I don't understand why Kelly is saying we're not her friends just because Denise didn't invite her to her house.

"Maybe you can come over on a different day," Denise says.

Wait a minute. I don't know if I like that. I don't want Kelly to go to Denise's house without me being there too. I look at Denise and she sits down next to Kelly.

"I'll ask my mom if you can come over, ok?" She says.

Kelly looks at Denise and wipes her eyes. "You will?"

"Yes. I'm sure she'll say yes," Denise says.

I know Denise's mom will say yes. I don't want them to talk about this anymore so I say, "hey, let's go play. Do you want to climb the jungle gym?"

Denise and Kelly look up at me. Kelly says, "let's go play on the bars instead. Do you want to play on the bars, Denise?"

"Sure!" They both get up and run over to the bars. I don't know if I like this. I'm starting to feel funny. I don't like it when Kelly and Denise are happy together like this. I run over to them and climb up to the top of the bars, but I don't talk for the rest of the recess. I listen to them talking and I don't like what I'm hearing. Denise is telling her about all the fun things there are to do at her house, and Kelly is excited.

When the bell rings we get down from the bars and walk over to the classrooms. Denise and Kelly are still talking and I'm starting to feel mad. I don't know why, but Kelly is really starting to bug me.

* * *

At lunchtime Kelly finds us and the three of us sit together at a table to eat our lunches.

"Look what I brought!" Kelly says as she holds up three packages of Poprocks. That makes me a little happy. I'm still feeling a little mad about Kelly and Denise though.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Denise asks.

"Nothing."

"Heidi, I know you, and something's bugging you. What is it?" Denise asks again.

"It's nothing Denise. Really." I open up my Poprocks and pour some in my hand.

"I know what will cheer you up!" Kelly says. "A water fight!"

"I don't know," Denise starts to say.

"Oh come on! It'll be fun! Besides, it's so hot outside," Kelly says.

"I don't want to get caught," Denise says. "I think we were lucky we didn't get caught yesterday."

Now _that's_ the Denise I know!

"That's because Laura told on us!" Kelly says. "That won't happen today. Come on Denise, have some fun!" Then Kelly looks at me. "Tell her Heidi! Tell her how much fun it will be!"

Denise looks at me and I don't know what to say.

"Don't you guys want to have any fun?!" Kelly asks. "Come on, this will be the last water fight. I promise! Let's have one more fight and then I won't bug you to have any more. Ok? Come on you guys!"

Denise and I look at each other and then shrug our shoulders.

"Ok," Denise says, "but only if you promise this is the last one."

"I promise!" Kelly says.

* * *

I follow Kelly and Denise to the bathroom. I'm not sure what I should do. It's so hot outside and having a water fight sounds so good! But, Hannah told me not to have one. Kelly is getting Denise excited about having one and they're laughing and talking about how good the cold water will feel.

When we get inside the bathroom they start stuffing the drains with paper towels, and then they turn the water on. When they start splashing each other, I can't resist. I start splashing too. What's the big deal? Kelly said this would be the last water fight so Hannah will never know.

We have a lot of fun splashing each other and pretty soon we're all wet. We play until recess is almost over because we need to have some time to go dry off a little before class starts. We turn the water off and Denise and I take the paper towels out of the drains. The bathroom door opens and a little girl comes running in. She's already unbuttoning her pants before she even reaches the stall. I can tell she has to go to the bathroom now, but before she reaches the stall she slips on the water on the floor and falls backward onto her bottom. Hard. She starts crying.

"Are you ok?" Denise asks. She rushes over to her and kneels down on the floor next to her.

"I'm outta here!" Kelly says as she pushes by us on her way out the door. She runs into another little girl who's coming in.

"Wait!" I yell to Kelly. I look at Denise and then at the door. Should I run too? No, that wouldn't be nice. This little girl is hurt. Her name is Caitlin and she's in first grade. I know her older brother. I think the other little girl is her friend because she starts talking to her. I know her too. Her name's Sarah and she's also in first grade.

"I'll take you to the office," she tells Caitlin, but Caitlin doesn't get up, she keeps crying, loudly.

"Do you want me to get the yard duty teacher?" Denise asks.

"I'll go do it," Sarah says. She runs out of the bathroom before I can tell her to stop.

"Denise, we're gonna get in trouble for this," I tell her. I look at the floor and there's water all over it.

"I know. I feel so bad."

"Me too. I didn't think anybody would get hurt," I say sadly.

"Neither did I," Denise says.

The bathroom door opens and Sarah comes back in with the yard duty teacher, Mrs. Smith.

"What happened?" She asks. She bends down to talk to Caitlin. She's not crying as much as she was before. "Are you ok?"

Caitlin shakes her head no.

"Can you stand up? Let's get you up off this dirty floor," Mrs. Smith says. She stands up and helps the girl up. "Do you think you can walk to the office?" Caitlin nods her head. "Sarah, would you walk Caitlin to the office?"

"Yes." She says and she puts her arm around Caitlin.

"Good. Go to the office and tell Ms. Trent what happened." Then Mrs. Smith looks at me and Denise. "What happened in here? It looks like you were having a water fight. Is that why you're all wet and there's water all over the floor?"

I stare at Mrs. Smith. I do not want to answer that, but when Denise says, "yes," I turn around and stare at her.

"That's why we don't want you having water fights. Someone can get hurt. Go find the custodian and tell him you need a mop."

Denise and I look at each other and then back at Mrs. Smith.

"What?" She says. "You didn't think I was going to have the custodian clean up this mess, did you? Go. He should be cleaning up in the cafeteria."

We leave the bathroom while Mrs. Smith stands outside the door. The bell rings and kids start running to their classrooms.

"Let's run!" I yell.

We run to the cafeteria and find the custodian. He's wiping the tables with a rag. We tell him what happened and he gives us the mop, so we take it back to the bathroom. Mrs. Smith is waiting for us and she watches Denise mop half the floor and then I mop the other half. Kelly should be helping us, but she's not. I can't wait to get out of here and go back to class. When we're finished, all three of us go outside and meet the custodian. He puts an 'out of order' sign on the door and goes inside to make sure we cleaned everything up.

"Let's go girls," Mrs. Smith says. We follow her and I ask, "where are we going?"

"To the office."

I stop walking. "Why?"

"To let Mr. Brick know about the water fight you had."

That's what I was afraid of. I walk behind Mrs. Smith and Denise as slowly as I can.

* * *

Denise and I sit in the two chairs facing Mr. Brick's desk.

Mr. Brick is talking to us but I'm not listening. I'm looking down at the floor and thinking. I'm thinking about how disappointed Hannah is going to be when she finds out I had a water fight. She just told me yesterday not to do that. I can't remember if Adam told me not to have a water fight when he was talking to me, but I know Hannah did. I put my head up when Mr. Brick says, "and someone got hurt. That's why we don't want you to have water fights."

"Well, you should tell us that!" I blurt out. Oops, I didn't mean to say that out loud.

Mr. Brick looks at me and glares. "Excuse me?" He asks.

"Never mind," I say and I look down at the floor again. Mr. Brick starts talking again.

"Denise, since this is the first time you've been involved in a water fight this is your warning. If you are involved in another water fight I will send a note home. As of right now both of you will come sit in here for your last recess today, and tomorrow you will spend your lunch recess in here. Heidi, I've told you not to have water fights before so I will send a note home with you. It needs to be signed and brought back to me tomorrow." He picks up the phone and looks at me. "What's your phone number?"

I stare at him and say nothing.

"Very well," he says. He puts the phone down and then presses a button on it. I recognize Ms. Trent's voice.

"Yes?" She asks.

"Would you look up the McFadden's phone number please?"

She tells him my phone number pretty quickly. I bet she has it memorized. Not because I get in trouble a lot, but because she's dating Crane. Actually, she could have it memorized because I do get in trouble a lot. Mr. Brick dials my number. I hope no one is home. Why is he calling home when he's sending a note home? I already know the answer to that too.

"Hello, this is Mr. Brick. I need to speak with Adam McFadden." He listens. "He's not? Can you take a message please?" He looks at me and then says, "Heidi is bringing a note home for him to sign, would you please let him know that? Thank you." He hangs up the phone.

"Who did you talk to?" I ask quietly.

"Crane." He takes his special note paper out of his desk and starts writing. Notes sent home are written on special paper. It's actually two pieces of paper stuck together at the top and whatever gets written on the top page, automatically gets written on the bottom page. The top paper is white and the bottom paper is pink. When Adam signs the note he tears the pink sheet off and I bring the white part back. The first time I got a note sent home I was in first grade. When Adam signed it and showed me how his signature went through to the bottom page I thought it was neat. So I drew lots of pictures on the top page when Adam wasn't watching. He didn't like that. Neither did Mr. Brick.

I watch Mr. Brick fold the note up and put it in an envelope. He licks it closed and writes Adam's name on it. He hands it to me and says, "go back to class girls."

I take the note and stand up. When we leave his office I wave to Ms. Trent but I don't smile. I feel bad. I think this might be the first time Hannah's told me not to do something at school and I did it anyway. When we walk by the nurse's room I look inside. The little girl that slipped on the wet floor is laying down on the cot. She's holding an ice pack on her back. I feel really bad for her.

Denise and I walk back to class quietly. I guess neither one of us feels like talking. I know I don't. When we walk into the classroom everyone looks at us as we walk to our desks. I'm sure Ms. Trent already told our teacher where we were. I put my note in my desk and take my science book out because that's what everyone else has out. Our teacher tells us what page we're on so I turn to that page and stare at the pictures. I wish I never had that water fight.

* * *

After science we have our last recess of the day. Denise and I walk to the office and Kelly comes running up to us.

"Where are you guys going?" She asks.

"The office," I tell her.

"Why?"

"We got in trouble for having the water fight."

"You told?!" She says. "Why'd you do that?"

"The teacher asked us what happened," Denise says.

"Well, you don't tell her! That was dumb!"

I want to yell at Kelly not to talk to Denise like that, but she's already run off to the playground. Denise and I are at the office now, so we don't get to talk anymore. We walk over to the wooden bench outside the principal's door and sit down.

A mom comes into the office and talks to Ms. Trent. It's Caitlin's mom. Caitlin comes out of the nurse's room to her. I feel bad. I look at Denise and she's crying a little bit. Hannah was right. Somebody got hurt _and_ I got in trouble. I should've done what she told me to do.

When Caitlin and her mom leave, I get up and walk over to the counter to talk to Ms. Trent.

"Is Caitlin gonna be ok?" I ask her.

"She's going to be fine. She has a little bruise on her back, and that's it."

"I think Denise is really worried about her." Then I whisper, "she's crying. Isabella, we didn't know someone was going to get hurt."

Ms. Trent walks around the counter and sits next to Denise on the bench. Denise starts crying out loud now and Ms. Trent hugs her.

"She's never been in trouble before either," I tell her.

"Denise, it's ok. Caitlin is fine," Ms. Trent says.

Denise looks up at her and says, "she is?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry we had a water fight," Denise says.

"Me too," I say.

"Good," Ms. Trent says. "Make sure you don't have another one. You never know who could get hurt. Ok?" We both nod our heads and she stands up. "I'm going to get back to work now. Let me know if you need anything, but for right now I know Mr. Brick wants you to sit here quietly for the rest of your recess."

I sit next to Denise and wait for recess to be over.

* * *

When school is over I take the note for Adam out of my desk and put it in my red homework folder. I wish I could just throw it away, but I've done that too many times before. That's why Mr. Brick called home to say the note was coming home. I wonder why he doesn't just tell him what the note says when he calls, but I already know the answer to that too. Sometimes Evan, Ford or Daniel will pretend to be Adam when my principal calls. Then Adam doesn't find out I got in trouble. They do it for the principal at their school too. Adam doesn't like it when they do that.

I look over at Denise and she looks at me. We should be happier. I'm going to her house and instead of smiling and being happy, we're sad. We walk out to the parking lot to her mom's car. We both get in the back and say hi to her mom.

"How was school?" She asks.

"Fine," Denise says.

Her mom pulls out of the driveway and says, "you girls aren't very talkative back there. Is something wrong?"

Denise looks like she's crying. "Do you want me to tell her?" I whisper, and she nods her head.

"Um, we kind of got in trouble today," I say.

"What happened?"

"We had a water fight in the bathroom and a little girl came in and slipped on the floor," I tell her. Denise starts crying out loud now.

"Oh, that's so sad."

"I'm sorry mom," Denise cries.

I look at Denise and I feel sad. I almost start crying. Denise doesn't get in trouble at school and now she got in trouble and feels bad she hurt someone.

"Is the little girl ok?" Her mom asks.

"She fell backwards and got a little bruise on her back," I tell her. "Her mom came and picked her up from school. Ms. Trent said she would be ok."

"It's a good thing she didn't crack her head open." When Denise's mom says that, Denise cries harder. "You girls need to be more careful. Was it just you two who had the water fight?"

"No, there was another girl there too."

"Did you get in trouble?"

"We lost our last recess and our lunch recess tomorrow," I tell her. I don't tell her about my note.

"Well, it sounds like the principal took care of it. Denise, I don't want you to have any more water fights. That sounds dangerous."

"I won't."

That's what I told Hannah yesterday. I wish I wouldn't have had the water fight. When Denise tells her mom she won't have water fights anymore, I know she won't.

"I also expect you to apologize to the little girl," her mom says.

"Ok," we both say.

"Good. Now cheer up! You did something wrong, you got your recess taken away, and the little girl will be ok. Heidi's coming over to play now, unless you'd like me to take her home."

"No!" We both yell together. We look at each other and smile. We pull up to Denise's house and park on the street out in front of it. Denise opens her door and gets out.

"Come on!" She yells. "I'll show you my new Barbie Houseboat my grandma gave me!"

I get out of the car and follow Denise and her mom up to the house.

* * *

I've been to Denise's house before so I follow Denise to her room. Denise's house is smaller than mine, but it's cleaner than mine. Hannah didn't like it when I told her that after the first time I came over, but when I told Hannah I meant it didn't have hats, or shoes, or other stuff laying all around she was ok with it. Denise's kitchen doesn't have _any_ dirty dishes in the sink either.

Denise's room is pink. Pink walls, pink curtains, pink bedspread, everything's pink. Except her furniture. That's white and it all matches. She even has a desk in her room. I lay my red homework folder on her bed and she shows me her new Barbie Houseboat.

"Wow!" I say. It's huge! I sit down on the floor to look at it but Denise's mom calls us into the kitchen.

"We can play with that later," Denise says. "Let's go see what my mom wants." I follow her to the kitchen.

"Do you girls want a popsicle?" Denise's mom asks.

"Yes please," I say.

She holds the box down for us to take one. I look for a purple one because grape is my favorite.

"Take them outside," she says.

We go out the back door to Denise's backyard. It's not a big yard. It has a big tree that takes up half of it and the rest is grass. It's got a wooden fence all around it so you can't see into the neighbors' yards.

"Let's eat our popsicles up there," I say while pointing to the tree.

"Ok."

We climb up carefully while holding our popsicles and find a good place to sit. It's cool up here in the shade and there's a little bit of a breeze. We sit quietly for a while and eat our Popsicles. Then Denise says something really quietly.

"Heidi, do you like Kelly?"

I don't know how to answer that question. Denise and Kelly seemed to be having so much fun today. Finally I decide to ask, "do you?"

Denise is quiet for a minute and then she says, "I asked you first."

I hope Denise will still be my friend when I say, "not really." I wait for her to ask why not.

"Me either!" Denise says.

I look at her. "You don't?"

"No. I was afraid to tell you because I thought you liked her, and I didn't want you to be mad at me," Denise says.

"I thought the same thing about you!"

We laugh until Denise says, "what do we do now? I don't really like playing with her."

"I don't either. I don't know what to do. She doesn't really have any other friends."

"I know," Denise says. "I kind of feel sorry for her, but I think she's a really jealous person. I think she's jealous of Laura."

"I think so too! She's mean to Laura too."

"I know. But you know what I really didn't like about her today?"

"What?" I ask.

"When Caitlin slipped and fell, she left. She didn't stay to see if she was hurt. I didn't like that."

I think about that. Denise is right. I was kind of wishing I'd left with Kelly, because I didn't want to get in trouble. But Caitlin was crying and she was hurt, so I knew I couldn't leave. I also didn't want to ditch Denise. "Should we tell Kelly we don't like her?" I ask.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't think I can be friends with her," Denise says.

"Me either. You know what she did today that I didn't like?"

"What?"

"I didn't like it when she said you were dumb for telling the teacher we had a water fight. I kind of wanted to punch her for saying that to you."

"I'm so glad you didn't do that!"

"Why?"

"Because then you wouldn't be here right now! You would've gotten sent home, and Adam would've grounded you and the rodeo is this week-end."

"Oh my gosh! I don't want to be grounded this week-end!" That would be horrible to miss the rodeo. I think about the note I'm supposed to give Adam. How can I give it to him now?

"Heidi, I'm glad we talked about Kelly."

"Me too. Maybe we should just talk to her like we're doing now and tell her how we feel. Maybe she'll listen to us," I say.

"That might work. Let's do it at the first recess. Not the one before school starts, but the first real recess," Denise says.

"Ok. If she gets mad at us at least we won't have to see her at the lunch recess. We'll be in the office for that one."

"I'm sure she won't be mad," Denise says.

"I hope you're right."

When we finish our popsicles we start to climb down the tree, but something catches my eye in the neighbor's backyard.

"Hey look!" I yell. "There's a puppy!" I point to the neighbor's yard behind Denise's house. We can almost see the whole yard from up here.

"Yeah, they just got it," Denise says. "That's Motley and they got a kitten too. See, she's over there."

I look to where Denise is pointing and I see a tiny white kitten sitting by the back door.

"Aw, she's so cute!"

"Her name's Yogurt. Mr. Levi puts her over the fence sometimes so I can hold her. He stands on a chair in his backyard and leans over the fence and drops her down to me. Then my dad hands her back over when I'm done petting her. Come on, there's a hole in the fence we can put our finger through. She likes to put her paw through and play."

We climb down the tree and Denise shows me a small hole near the bottom of the fence. It's just big enough to put a few fingers through, but small enough that you can't put your whole hand through. Denise puts her finger through and calls Yogurt while she scratches at the fence. There's other holes in the fence higher up so I look through one to see if she's coming.

"How come Motley doesn't come over?" I ask her.

"Is he chewing on something?"

I look for him. "Yep, he's under a bush and he's chewing on a toy."

"He'll stay there for a while. Is Yogurt coming over?" She asks.

"She's looking over here, but she's still staying by the door."

Denise takes her finger out and finds a little stick on the ground that has leaves on it. She sticks it through the hole and shakes it around.

"She's coming!" I yell. The little kitten runs to the stick and starts attacking it. "Aw! That's so cute!"

"Watch, if I take the stick out of the whole she'll put her paw through." Denise does that and sure enough, Yogurt sticks her paw through the hole. We laugh and try to pet her paw.

"Ow!" She got me with her claws. It doesn't hurt that bad, it feels like tiny needles poking into my finger. "I wish I could pet her and hold her."

"Me too, but Mr. Levi works during the day so he's not home."

"Darn. I wish she could climb the fence!"

"I know. She's too little now. Mr. Levi says maybe she'll be able to do that in a month."

We play with Yogurt through the hole and then I get a good idea. "I know! We could make something that Yogurt could get into and then we could pull her up and over the fence. Like an elevator!"

"Ok. How do we do that?" Denise asks.

"Do you have a basket? One with a handle, like an Easter basket."

"I think my mom has one in her bedroom. She keeps her yarn in it. I bet she'll let us use it."

"Ok, but don't tell her what we need it for," I tell her.

"I know, I won't."

Denise runs inside and comes out shortly holding a basket.

"What'd your mom say?"

"I didn't ask her. She's out in the front yard watering the rose bushes."

"Ok, now we need a rope. Do you have a rope?" I ask her.

"No."

"How about a jump rope?"

"Yes!" She runs to the side of her house and comes back with two jump ropes. I take them from her and tie them together so it's one long rope and then tie it to the handle of the basket.

"It's perfect! Now how are we gonna get Yogurt in the basket?" I ask.

"I don't have any cat food and I don't think my mom would like it if I opened a can of tuna."

We think some more. "I know! Do you have a stuffed animal that looks like a kitten or a cat?"

"Yes! I'll go get it! It's even white just like Yogurt!" She's runs inside again and comings out a little later holding a stuffed kitten. It's a little bit bigger than Yogurt.

"It's so pretty Denise." It has long, soft hair and a tiny pink nose.

"My grandma gave it to me for my birthday. My grandma has a cat that looks just like this."

I put it in the basket and look around the backyard. "We need something to stand on so I can put this over the fence and then lower it down." The only thing I see is a picnic bench. Denise's family has a wooden picnic table with two benches on the grass. We run to one of the benches and drag it over to the fence. I stand on the bench and reach up as high as I can to get the basket over the fence without the stuffed animal falling out. "Denise, when I get the basket down to the ground, meow so Yogurt thinks the stuffed animal is a real cat. Then she'll get in the basket and I'll pull her up."

I lower the basket slowly trying to get it close to Yogurt. I can't see what I'm doing so Denise looks through the whole in the fence.

"I can't see it yet. Now I do! You're almost there, just a few more inches!"

I lower the basket until I feel it touch the ground. I jump off the bench while I'm still holding the end of the rope and find a hole to look through. Denise starts meowing and I watch the puppy, Motley, run over to the basket.

"No!" I yell. Denise stops meowing and looks through a hole too.

"No!" She screams. We watch Motley bite the stuffed animal and take it out of the basket. He starts tearing it apart. White fluffy stuffing is flying everywhere as he growls and shakes the stuffed animal in his mouth and races around the backyard with it. When he's done running around he lays down on the grass and spits out what's left of the stuffed animal on the ground in front of him. I look for Yogurt and find her by the hole. She's playing with a piece of stuffing. I'm still holding onto the string tied to the basket so I pull the basket up and over the fence.

"I'm sorry," I tell Denise. I can see she's sad.

"I loved that stuffed animal," she says quietly. Both of us sit down on the bench and don't say anything for a while.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask her.

She turns to look at me and says, "no. Why would I be mad? I wanted to do it too."

"I know, but I thought up the plan."

"But I wanted to do it too! I thought it would work," she says.

"So did I."

Denise starts to smile.

"What?" I ask.

"If you think about it, it was kind of funny. Motley really liked my stuffed animal." She laughs and then I laugh.

"I know. Did you see how fast he ripped it apart?! And how he was racing around in circles while holding it in his mouth!"

"That was so funny," Denise says. We laugh for a little bit longer and then Denise says, "do you want to go play Barbies now?"

"Ok."

We drag the bench back and untie the jump rope from the basket. We put the stuff away and go to Denise's room to play Barbies.

* * *

I love playing at Denise's house because she has a lot of toys to play with. I have a few Barbies and a doll or two, but I don't play with them anymore. Mostly because Guthrie doesn't want to anymore. But Denise has lots of Barbies, and a Barbie house, and she has dolls and a dollhouse, and lots of other toys. Now she has a Barbie Houseboat. We sit down on the floor and start to play, but Denise's mom calls her.

"I'll be right back," she says as she gets up and runs out of her room.

I look at the Barbie I'm playing with and decide I want to change her clothes so I stand up to go look for some in the Barbie House. While I'm walking over to it I see my red homework folder lying on Denise's bed. I pick it up and open it. I stare at the envelope with Adam's name on it. I'm gonna get in trouble if he reads this. Maybe I could leave the note here. No, that won't work. But I could leave my whole folder here. Yeah, that's what I'll do. I close it and lay it on the floor and push it under Denise's bed. Denise comes running back.

"My mom wants both of us," she says, so I follow her out to the living room.

* * *

Denise's mom is talking to someone at the front door. It's a lady and she's holding some of the stuffing from Denise's stuffed animal in her hand.

"Hi Mrs. Levi," Denise says.

Denise's mom says, "Mrs. Levi was just telling me an interesting story girls." We stare at her. I hope she's not mad. Denise's mom tells us what Mrs. Levi said, and it's exactly what we did.

"Sorry Mrs. Levi," Denise says. "We were trying to get Yogurt to go in the basket so we could play with her."

Mrs. Levi smiles and says, "it was a very creative plan. I'm sorry Motley ruined your stuffed animal. Denise, if you want to play with Yogurt, you can come over any time."

"Why don't you girls go back with Mrs. Levi and clean up the mess in her yard," Denise's mom says. "Then you can stay and play with Yogurt."

"And the puppy?!" I ask excitedly.

"Yes Heidi, the puppy too," she says, and she laughs.

We go to the Levi's house and clean up our mess. Denise is a little sad while she picks up the stuffing, but she cheers up when she gets to hold Yogurt. I have fun with Motley. He has a stick he likes to chew and he likes to play fetch with it. I could play with him forever, but Denise's mom calls over the fence that it's time to come home for dinner.

* * *

We have lasagna for dinner and brownies for dessert. Shortly after that Hannah is there to pick me up. I run to the door and give her a big hug.

She smiles at me and says, "did you have fun?"

"Yes!"

She talks to Denise's mom for a little bit and then we say goodbye and thank you. We walk out to the jeep and Hannah gives me a piece of paper with an address on it. "Help me look for this house number," she says. We drive a few streets over from Denise's house and then Hannah drives down Scott's street slowly. We look for the house number and find it. When Hannah parks, I walk up to Scott's house with her. She knocks on the door and we wait for it to open.

After the second knock a boy opens the door. It must be Scott because Guthrie's with him.

"Bye Scott," Guthrie says quickly and he runs outside.

"Hold it!" Hannah says. "Where's your manners?"

Guthrie stops and says, "thank you!" Then he runs to the jeep. I run after him and he gets in the back seat.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says.

I can tell something's wrong. Guthrie looks sad.

"Did you have fun riding Scott's dirt bike?" I ask as I climb in the front seat. When Guthrie doesn't answer I turn around and kneel on the seat so I can look back at him. "What's wrong?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Turn around," Hannah tells me when she gets in the jeep. "Did you have fun Guthrie?" She asks as she starts driving home.

"Yes," Guthrie says, but I can tell he doesn't mean it. Hannah doesn't ask him any more questions. Instead she turns the radio on and me and her sing along.

* * *

When we pull up to the house Tanya's car is parked outside. Our truck isn't there so that probably means Adam isn't home from working on the Miller's Ranch. But if Tanya's car is here, that means Daniel is! I run across the grass and up the porch steps. Daniel and Tanya are sitting on the porch singing. Daniel smiles at me while he sings. He looks so happy right now. It's hard to believe he was so mad last night. I start to go sit with them but Hannah tells me to come inside.

Evan and Ford are in the kitchen doing their homework. "Your bullfrogs have been croaking all afternoon," Evan says.

"We'd better go feed them," I say and I run to the back door. Guthrie's not following me so I turn around and say, "are you coming Guthrie?"

"Can you feed mine?" He asks. "I have to do my homework."

Everyone looks at Guthrie. He'd rather do his homework instead of feeding his frog? He looks sad.

"Are you ok Guthrie?" Hannah asks.

"Did you have fun riding your friend's dirt bike?" Ford asks.

Guthrie doesn't answer him. Instead he sits down at the table and opens up his math book. Something must've happened at Scott's house and I'm gonna find out what it is. But first I have to feed the frogs.

It's almost dark outside so I turn the porch light on out back. I shouldn't have to wait long for a moth to come. I stand up on the bench near the light and wait. I can hear Daniel and Tanya singing. They sound nice together. I grab at a moth flying around the light and it takes me three tries to get it. I have to catch it with one hand so I can open the box with the other. I jump down and open Guthrie's box. I stuff the moth inside and then climb back up to catch another moth for my frog. It doesn't take long to catch another one and I stuff that one in my box. Daniel and Tanya are done singing the song and they start talking. I can't see them because they're at the front part of the porch and I'm at the back, but if I walk towards the front I can peek around the side of the house and see them. I decide to sit down where we can't see each other, but I can hear them.

"I'm telling you Daniel, it's a great song!" Tanya says.

"You really think so?"

"Yes! Come with me to LA!"

"I'll be done with school in a month," he tells her.

"Come now!" She says. "Come back with my band when the rodeo is over. That's when we're going back. I'll introduce you to our manager and the record producer."

"Can't I come out in June, when school's out?"

"You could, but who knows what can happen in a month. If you come back with me now, I'll be around to introduce you to people in the music business. If you wait, I might have to go out on tour and sometimes I'm gone for months. Daniel, this could be your big chance. Your big break!"

I think about that. Maybe Daniel should go now.

"I'm so close to graduating Tanya. Adam really wants me to get my high school diploma," Daniel says.

"Adam doesn't know anything about the music business Daniel! You don't need a high school diploma! If you want, you can get your GED after you make your record."

I wonder what a GED is.

"Daniel, look at this place. Is this where you want to be?"

"No."

"Then come with me. Bring your songs. The one we sang just now, let my band play it at the rodeo this weekend. I'll call my manager and have him come up to listen to it. He'll tell you it's a hit!"

"Why can't my band play it this weekend? I wrote the song for my band."

"I guess your band could play it, but if mine does, my manager will take it seriously. I'm telling you Daniel, he's gonna love it!"

"I don't know," Daniel says.

I hear our truck drive up the driveway so I know Adam and Brian are home. Daniel and Tanya are quiet now and I hear footsteps walking up the porch steps.

"Hello," Brian and Adam say.

"Hello," Tanya says.

"Daniel, can I talk to you for a minute?" Adam asks. "Inside?"

"Ok." It sounds like he doesn't want to, but I hear them walk inside. I stand up and walk around the porch to where Tanya is sitting.

"Hi Heidi."

"Hi. Do you really think Daniel's song is good enough to make a record?" I ask her.

"Were you listening to us?" She asks.

Hmm. I don't know if she'd like it if I was. I nod my head slowly.

She smiles and says, "I don't mind. And yes, I do think Daniel's song would make a great record."

I look at his music laying by his guitar and a good idea pops into my head. "I have a plan!" I say excitedly.

She smiles and says, "what?"

"What if you took Daniel's song and sang it to your manager over the phone! If he likes it, he could tell you, and then you could surprise Daniel! Then Adam would 'have' to let Daniel go to LA with you! It's perfect! Just think, Daniel would go to LA with you and bring all his songs with him! I bet he'd let your band play them!"

Tanya looks like she's thinking. Then she says, "I can't just take Daniel's song. That would be stealing."

"No it's not. You'd just be borrowing it. Here, take it."

I hand the music to her and she rolls it up and puts it in her purse. "Thanks Heidi."

"Just make sure you sing it for your manager."

"Oh, I will," she says. Then she says quietly, "I definitely will." I think she's saying that to herself, but I don't know why.

The front door opens and Daniel comes back outside. "Adam's looking for you Heidi," he says.

"Ok." I smile at Tanya. "Bye!" She smiles back and I run to the door and into the house.


	4. Chapter 4

When I run into the house I'm so happy! I hope Tanya sings Daniel's song to her manager tonight! He has to love it, and then Daniel will get a record deal! Adam is standing in the kitchen so I run up to him.

"Daniel said you were looking for me?"

He turns around and looks down at me. "Crane says you have a note for me?"

Oh. My smile fades. I forgot about the note. I look up at him and don't say a word.

"Where's the note?" He asks. When I don't answer he says, "I'm asking you a question. Where's the note?"

I can feel everyone looking at me. Evan, Ford and Guthrie are still sitting at the table doing their homework, Crane is sitting at the table, Hannah's over by the sink and Brian is by the refrigerator. The only person not in here is Daniel. I look up at Adam and shrug my shoulders very slowly.

"What does that mean?" He asks. "You don't know? Did you throw it away? You better not have done that!"

"I didn't! I didn't throw it away!" I've done that before.

"Then where is it?" He asks.

"I think I left it at Denise's house."

"Dang it Heidi, those notes are important! What was it about?"

I don't say anything.

"What was the note about Heidi?"

"I didn't read it," I tell him.

He glares at me now and says slowly, "I'm sure you didn't read it, but you have to know what it's about."

I shrug my shoulders.

"Heidi! Quit shrugging your shoulders at me and tell me what you got in trouble for at school today!" He yells and that makes me cry.

Hannah rushes over and says, "calm down Adam. Why don't we go talk about this in the living room. You've been working all day and I'm sure if we all sit down we can talk about this calmly."

"You say you left the note at Denise's house?" He asks me.

I nod my head. Adam walks over to the big desk in the living room and picks up the phone.

"What's her number?" He asks.

"Why?" I ask.

"Because I'm going to call her mom and dad and ask one of them to read the note to me," he says calmly.

"No! You can't do that!" I cry.

"What's her number?" He asks again.

"I'll find it," Hannah says. She walks over to the desk and picks up her address book.

"No!" I cry. "You can't call her mom and dad!" I don't want them to read the letter.

Adam sets the phone down. "Either you tell me what you did at school today, or I call Denise's house."

"Ok, I'll tell you!" I stomp my foot and cry really hard because I feel really bad. They're gonna be so disappointed I had a water fight after Hannah told me not to.

Adam folds his arms across his chest. "I'm waiting," he says.

I look down at the floor and say very quietly, "I had a water fight at school today."

"After I told you not to?!"

I look up at them. They both said that. They look at each other and then they look back at me. Adam looks mad. I guess he did tell me not to have one. I couldn't remember. Hannah doesn't look mad. She looks sad.

"Sorry," I say.

They're quiet while they look at me and then Adam says, "go to your room and get ready for bed, you're going to bed early tonight."

I cry and run over to the stairs and up to my room. Once I'm inside I slam my door shut and throw myself on my bed and cry into my pillow.

* * *

After I have my pajamas on I open my door and walk down to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Once I'm in the bathroom I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are all red from crying. I wish I never had that water fight. I brush my teeth really quickly and go back to my room. I leave my door open this time and get a book out from under my bed to read.

I can hear the front door open downstairs so I go stand in my doorway to see if Daniel's coming in. He is and Tanya's with him.

"You can use the phone upstairs in the hallway," he says to her. "It should give you some privacy."

"Thanks, it'll just be a short call."

I move away from my doorway so she won't see me when she walks by. But once she's past my room I move closer to the door so I can hear.

She dials and then I hear her say quietly, "hey Chuck, it's me. I got it! Get the band together and I'll be there in about an hour." She's quiet for a minute and then says, "yes, I got it. Wait 'till you hear it, I told you, it's the perfect song for our band!" She says bye and hangs up the phone. I stand in my doorway so I can say bye to her.

"Bye Tanya. Are you going to sing Daniel's song for your manager tonight?"

"What?" She looks at me like she doesn't know what I'm talking about, and then she says, "oh, right. I think we're gonna practice it tonight and sing it for him tomorrow." Then she walks to the stairs really fast and goes downstairs. I watch from my doorway as she says bye to Daniel.

"I'll walk you out," he says.

"No, that's ok. I've got to hurry. I forgot the band was getting together tonight."

That's weird. That's not what she said on the phone. I watch her give Daniel a quick kiss on the cheek and then she's out the door. Daniel watches her and he has a huge smile on his face. He looks really happy. I hope Tanya's manager likes his new song.

Adam and Hannah walk into the living room from the kitchen so I run and jump on my bed. I bet they're coming up here to say goodnight so I get under my covers and open my book. I hate going to bed early. I look at my clock and it's not really that early. I hear footsteps coming towards my room so I look at my book.

When they come in I put my book down and Hannah sits on my bed while Adam picks up my chair and moves it closer to my bed and sits down on it. They don't look mad which is good.

"I'm disappointed Heidi," Adam says.

I don't like that word. I think I'd rather be yelled at than hear him say that word. It makes me feel sad. I don't say anything back I just stare at Adam.

"We both told you not to have a water fight," he says. "Why did you have one?"

"Kelly said it would be the last one."

"Who's Kelly?" He asks.

"Someone Denise and I have been playing with."

"Did you tell her you're not supposed to have water fights?" Adam asks.

I shrug my shoulders because I don't remember. "She promised it would be the last one." I look at Hannah. "You were right. Someone got hurt."

"What happened?" She asks.

"A little girl came in the bathroom and slipped and fell down."

Hannah looks surprised and says, "is she ok?"

"Yes. She got a little bruise on her back."

"It's a good thing she didn't crack her head open," Hannah says.

I nod my head and tears start to form in my eyes. "That's what Denise's mom said."

"Denise was a part of the water fight too?" She asks.

I nod my head. "We only did it because Kelly promised it would be the last one." I start to cry now. "When the little girl fell Kelly left! She just left! She didn't check to see if Caitlin was ok!"

Hannah hugs me and Adam says, "it sounds like Kelly isn't a very nice person."

I push away from Hannah a little bit to look at Adam. "We don't like her anymore Adam, but we don't know how to tell her. She gets mad."

Hannah says, "tell her how you feel and walk away if she gets mad."

"Can I punch her if she gets mad at me?" I look at Adam when I ask that.

"No Heidi."

"But why not?"

"Because I don't want you to fight!" He says that kind of loud. He doesn't yell it, but it's not his normal talking voice either. Then he calms down and says in his serious voice, "I want you to listen to me very carefully Heidi. If you punch her you will NOT be going to the rodeo AT ALL this weekend. Do you hear me?"

I nod my head.

"Good. What are you going to do if she wants to fight, or if you feel like punching her?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Come on Heidi, think!" That makes me start crying so he sighs and says calmer, "we've talked about this before."

"I don't remember," I say as I wipe my eyes. He stares at me so I think. "Run away and tell a teacher?" I ask.

"Yes," he says and I sigh.

"Sometimes that's hard to do. Sometimes I just get so mad I feel like exploding!" I jump up a little and throw my arms up in the air and around when I say exploding.

"I know," Adam says, and he stands up. I stand up on my bed and wrap my arms around his neck. He picks me up and holds me.

"I'm sorry Adam. I'm sorry I had a water fight after you told me not to."

"The teachers and the principal told you not to too," he says. "You need to bring that note home tomorrow so I can sign it."

"But I left it at Denise's house," I remind him.

"I'm sure she'll bring it to school when she finds it," he says.

I don't say anything for a minute and then I say, "about that...," I pause.

"What about it?" He asks.

"She won't see it because I kind of..., sort of..., hid it under her bed."

He sighs and says, "you kind of, sort of, hid it under the bed?" I lean back a little to look at his face and I nod my head. "Heidi, I wish you wouldn't hide things from me," he says.

"I'm sorry."

Hannah says, "maybe I can call Denise's mom in the morning and see if she can find it and bring it. Did you have homework to do in your folder?"

I nod my head.

Adam sets me on the bed and I look at Hannah. "I'm sorry I had a water fight after you told me not to." I give her a hug and she hugs me back.

"I care about you Heidi," she says. "I wish you would've listened to me."

"Me too," I tell her.

"Get in bed now," she says. I crawl under the covers and she pulls them up to my neck. She gives me a kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight," she says.

Adam leans down and gives me a kiss too. "Goodnight," he says.

"Goodnight," I say to both of them. I watch them leave and then I turn over on my side. I'm not tired at all because it's still a little before my regular bedtime. I hate having to go to bed early because it means no story or song. Oh well. I stare at my dresser and think about what I'm going to say to Kelly tomorrow before I fall asleep.

* * *

I'm not looking forward to going to school today. After Hannah wakes me up I lay in my bed. I wish I could stay home. I don't want to see Kelly today. I hope she doesn't get too mad when Denise and I tell her we don't want to be friends anymore.

I hear someone running in the hallway so I look out my doorway and watch Daniel run by.

"Come on Daniel," Ford yells from downstairs. "We're gonna be late."

"Are you sure you haven't seen it?" Daniel yells back.

"No!" Evan yells. "Why can't you look for it after school?"

Daniel runs by room again on his way downstairs. "Because we were gonna practice it today after school. I finished it yesterday and we need to practice it before Saturday!"

"No one's seen your song," Evan says. "We'll help you look for it after school. We have to go now."

Oh, he must be looking for the song I let Tanya borrow last night. I hope she sings it to her manager soon so I can give it back.

"I don't understand," Daniel says. "I had it last night and now I can't find it." The front door closes as they leave for school.

"Guthrie! Heidi!" Hannah yells from the kitchen. "You'd better be up!"

"I am!" I yell down and I get up to get ready for school.

* * *

I was only a little bit late this morning, but Guthrie left for the bus stop without me anyway. Hannah hands me my lunch and tells me Denise is bringing my homework folder to school. She gives me a kiss and I run out the door.

"Guthrie!" I yell as I run to catch up to him. "Guthrie wait!" Wait for me!" Why is he running to the bus stop? I run after him but he's faster than me so I can't catch up. "Guthrie stop!"

He stops running when he gets to our bus stop and I run up to him. I lean over and rest my hands on my knees to catch my breath. Then I stand up and say, "what's wrong Guthrie?"

"Nothing Heidi."

"Yes there is. You've been quiet all morning. Hannah even said so." I stand right in front of him so I can look in his eyes, but he looks away. "Are you sad?" I ask him.

He moves away from me so I follow him and stand in front of him so my face is in front of his face again.

He moves away and says, "Heidi, leave me alone!"

Our bus is coming so I have to stand still on the side of the road. Guthrie gets on first and I follow him. Usually he sits in the back of the bus with his friends, but today he sits in the middle of the bus by himself, so I sit next to him.

"Heidi, I don't want to talk, ok?"

"Why?"

"I just don't!" He turns to face the window so I leave him alone and we ride to school without saying another word to each other.

* * *

When I get to school I run out to the playground and up to Denise. "Hi. Is Kelly here yet?" I ask her.

"I haven't seen her."

"What are we going to say to her?"

"I guess we should just tell her we don't want to be friends with her anymore," Denise says.

"Do you think she'll get mad?"

"I don't know."

Just then Kelly comes running up to us and says hi. She asks Denise, "did you ask your mom if I could come over?"

Denise stares at her and I can tell she doesn't know what to say, so I say, "did you forget to ask her?"

Denise looks at me and says, "yes."

We look at Kelly and hope she doesn't get mad at that. She's quiet for a second and then she says, "ask her today then. Do you want to go climb the jungle gym?"

Both Denise and I let out a sigh of relief and then run over to the jungle gym with Kelly.

* * *

At the next recess Denise and I walk slowly out to the playground. It's going to be another hot day. Kelly runs up to us when she sees us.

"Do you guys want to have a water fight?" She asks.

When we both say no Kelly wants to know why not.

"Our parents told us not to," Denise says.

Kelly looks at me and says, "you don't have any parents."

I don't know why, but that makes me mad. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"You only have brothers. You don't have a mom or a dad telling you what to do, so you can do whatever you want."

"No I can't!"

Kelly looks at us and then she starts to look mad. "Heidi, you're just saying you don't want to have a water fight because Denise is telling you not to. I know you really want to have one. The only reason you got in trouble yesterday was because Denise told. What kind of friend is that?"

I'm starting to get confused. What's she talking about? "Adam and Hannah told me not to have one, not Denise! And I didn't get in trouble because she told!"

"Yes you did! Why do you have to do what Adam and Hannah say? They're not your mom and dad."

"Stop saying that!" I yell. I want to punch her so bad!

"Admit it! You want to have a water fight!" She yells. "But Denise won't let you, and she'll tell on you if you do!"

"No!" I yell and I take a step towards Kelly, and Denise grabs onto my arm and pulls me back.

"Come on, Heidi," she says. "Let's get away from her." Denise starts walking away and she pulls me along with her.

"She's not your friend!" Kelly yells. We keep walking and then we hear her yell, "fine! I don't want to be your friends anymore!"

"I feel like punching her so bad!" I tell Denise.

"I know, come on, let's just stay away from her," Denise says, and she leads me over to the bench by the drinking fountain.

When we sit down I tell Denise that Adam said I couldn't punch her. "He said if I do, I'm not going to the rodeo this weekend."

"Then we need to stay away from her!"

I don't feel like talking now. I'm thinking about Kelly saying I don't have a mom or dad. Even though Adam's my brother, he raised me ever since I was a little baby and he's in charge of me. I have to do what he tells me to do.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Denise asks.

"Nothing."

"You look sad."

I shrug my shoulders. "I guess we don't have to worry about being Kelly's friend anymore. She said she didn't want to be 'our' friend."

"I know. Heidi, are you sad because she said you didn't have a mom or a dad?"

I start to cry really quietly.

Denise says, "Heidi, you know she doesn't know what she's talking about. She's just being mean. Don't let what she said bother you."

I nod my head, but I don't feel any better. Luckily the bell rings so we walk back to class.

* * *

All throughout math time I couldn't stop thinking about what Kelly said about me not having a mom or dad. My teacher had to tell me three times to do my work because I kept staring out the window. When it's lunch time, Denise and I bring our lunches to the office. Ms. Trent says hi to us and tells us to sit down at the little table by the door. That's where kids have to sit when their teacher sends them to the office to do work. I take my sandwich out of my lunch bag and lay it on the table.

"How come your not eating?" Denise whispers. She has to whisper because we're not supposed to talk.

"I'm not hungry," I whisper back.

Mr. Brick comes out of his office and walks over to us. "Did you bring back the note Heidi?"

I look up at him and shake my head no.

"She left it at my house," Denise says.

"Then I'll call home and tell Adam about the water fight."

"You don't have to. I already told him about it. He'll sign the note tonight and I'll bring it back tomorrow."

"I'm still going to call to make sure he knows," he says.

I shrug my shoulders and watch him as he walks back to his office and shuts his door. Im glad I told Adam the truth about the note. I sigh and pick up my sandwich. I still don't feel like eating so I put it back down.

"Heidi, what's wrong?" Denise whispers.

"Nothing."

"Yes there is. I know something's wrong."

"Girls, you're not supposed to talk," Ms. Trent reminds us.

Good. I don't feel like talking. Is Kelly right? If Adam is just my brother, do I have to do what he says to do? And why do I have to do what Hannah says to do? She's not my sister, and she's not my mom. Why do I have to do what Brian or Crane or any of my brothers say to do? I'm starting to get mad. If my mom and dad were still alive, I wouldn't have to do anything my brothers say to do! Right? I'm so confused.

For the rest of lunch I read my library book. Sort of. I can't stop thinking about what Kelly said.

* * *

After lunch I have a hard time concentrating during science. My teacher asks me what's wrong, but I don't know what to tell her. I don't know how to talk about what's bothering me. Finally science is over and we go out for our last recess. Denise and I stay away from Kelly, and luckily she stays away from us too.

* * *

When we come in from recess there are small flower pots sitting on our desks. I wonder what we're doing with those. When we're all sitting down our teacher, Ms. Wilson, says it's time to make Mother's Day presents and cards. I groan and put my head down on my desk. I hate this time of year. No, that's not true. I love this time of year because of the Motherlode Round-up Parade and Rodeo. I just hate it when we have to make stuff for Mother's Day.

Ms. Wilson has construction paper, glue, markers, crayons and scissors out on the back table. There's also a big bag of dirt, and flowers. Mrs. Smith is sitting back there too.

"Mrs. Smith is going to help us. You each have a flower pot on your desk that you can decorate with markers. Then Mrs. Smith will help you plant one of the flowers in your pot."

I don't want to do this. I don't have a mom.

"Now I know some of you don't have Mom's," Ms. Wilson says, "but you can still make the flower pot and card for your grandma or aunt."

I don't have one of those either so I keep my head down on my desk.

"Go ahead and get started," Ms. Wilson says. I hear her walking towards my desk. "What are you doing Heidi?" She asks.

"Taking a nap."

"Sit up and do the art project," she says.

I sit up and start to feel mad. Why do I have to do it. "I don't want to do it."

"Everyone's doing it," she says.

"Not me. I don't have a mom, remember?" I say that sort of quietly and then I yell, "and I don't have an aunt or a grandma either!" I move my arm across my desk so the flower pot gets pushed off and falls to the floor. It makes a loud crash as it breaks, and everyone looks at me. I didn't mean to do that and I start to cry.

My teacher says, "I'm sorry Heidi. Would you like to go outside to calm down?"

I nod my head.

"Denise, why don't you go with her," Ms. Wilson says.

"No," I say. "I want to go by myself. Denise needs to make her present for her mom."

Denise stands up and says, "Heidi, I'll go with you."

"No! I want to be by myself!" I yell and I get up and run out of the classroom.

I feel so bad! I think I'll go cry in the bathroom. Nobody can see me in there.

I stop running and walk to the bathrooms. When I go around the corner of the building and see the bathroom doors, the boys bathroom door swings open and Scott, Kenny and Guthrie come running out. Scott and Kenny are laughing. Then I hear a "POP, POP, POP, sound coming from their bathroom. It sounds like firecrackers! I stand still and watch them run back to their classroom. They're still running when Mr. Brick comes around the corner to where I'm standing. We can see their backs as they're running away and then they go around the corner and we can't see them anymore.

"Who was that?!" Mr. Brick yells at me.

I stare at the spot where Guthrie rounded the corner and disappeared.

"Who were those three boys Heidi?! I know you saw them!"

I look up at Mr. Brick and stare at him because I don't know what to say.


	5. Chapter 5

"Who were those three boys Heidi? I know you saw them," Mr. Bricks asks again.

"I don't know," I say quietly. "I didn't see them."

"Yes you did. You were watching them run away."

"But I didn't see who they were," I tell him.

Mr. Brick walks to the boys bathroom and goes inside, so I run back to my classroom. There's no way I'm going to tell him Guthrie was one of those boys.

* * *

When I get back to class all the kids are standing over by the windows and looking outside.

"What was that noise?" Someone asks.

"It sounded like a gun!"

"I bet it was firecrackers!"

"Alright class," Ms. Wilson says, "everyone go back to your seats and finish working on your projects. I'm sure Mr. Brick is taking care of whatever happened." All the kids go back to their seats including me, but they're still excited and it's very noisy in the classroom. When we do art projects Ms. Wilson lets us talk as long as we're doing what we're supposed to be doing and we aren't too loud.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Denise asks me.

I look at her flower pot and it looks pretty. She drew pictures of flowers on the outside of it and green grass around the bottom. I bet her mom will like it. I bet Hannah would like something like that too. If she were a mom. But she's not, and she's not _my_ mom.

"Heidi, what's wrong?" Denise asks again.

I think about what I just saw Guthrie do. I can't tell her about that yet. I feel like crying again. "Nothing," I finally tell her.

"You can tell me what's bugging you," she says.

"I can't," I tell her.

"Are you sure?"

I nod my head.

"Ok." She sounds a little sad.

Ms. Wilson walks over to me and says, "Heidi, are you sure you don't want to make a flower pot? You could give it to Hannah. I know she's not your mom, but I think she would really like it."

I shake my head no and when our classroom door opens everyone gets really quiet. Ms. Wilson and I look at the door and Mr. Brick walks inside.

"I need to see Heidi," he says.

No way! I look at the clock. There's still a half hour of school left. I don't want to spend it in the office.

"Heidi, come with me," Mr. Brick says.

I look up at Ms. Wilson. "I don't want to," I whisper to her.

"You need to go with him," she says.

I stay in my seat. If I have to go with him, I'm going to waste as much time as I can so he can't ask me about Guthrie.

"Heidi, come with me now!" Mr. Brick yells. "Bring your stuff with you because you're staying in the office until school is over."

I get up and take my red homework folder out of my desk. Then I walk very slowly to the front of the classroom to where he's standing. He looks mad. When he walks out of the classroom I follow behind him slowly. I need to think about what I'm going to say. He's gonna ask me what I saw, and who I saw, and I need to have a good answer that doesn't get Guthrie in trouble.

* * *

By the time we get to the office I haven't thought of anything. "Go sit on the bench," he says to me while he walks behind the counter and over to Ms. Trent. I plop myself down and fold my arms across my chest. I just have to make it to the end of school. I watch Mr. Brick talk to Ms. Trent and listen.

"I need you to let the custodian know the upper boy's bathroom is vandalized and he needs to clean it up. Call the sixth, seventh and eighth grade teachers and let them know I will be talking with their students in about five minutes, the boys I saw were running in that direction, so I'm pretty sure they're in the upper grades." Mr. Brick looks over at me and walks over. "Let's go into my office," he says as he walks by me.

Vandalized? Did Guthrie, Kenny and Scott do something else in the bathroom besides light firecrackers? I get up and follow Mr. Brick. In his office there are two chairs in front of his desk and I sit in the one closest to the door. When Mr. Brick sits down he says, "tell me what you saw."

I stare at him. What should I say? I'm not gonna tell on Guthrie. "I didn't see anything."

"Yes you did. I saw the backs of three boys and you were standing very close to the bathrooms watching. Who were the three boys you saw?"

"I didn't see anybody," I tell him.

"Go sit out on the bench. I've got to go take care of some things. When the bell rings you can go out to the bus."

"Why can't I go back to class?"

"Because I might be back to talk to you before the bell rings."

I sigh and get up and go sit back out on the bench. Mr. Brick walks by me and leaves the office. I guess he's going to go talk to the upper grade classes about the vandalism. Ms. Trent is busy talking to a parent so I stare at the clock wishing for time to go by fast. I want to go home so bad. I don't want to have to talk to Mr. Brick again today. Not before I talk to Guthrie. Luckily Mr. Brick never comes back and I leave the office when the bell rings.

* * *

When we get off the bus at our stop, Guthrie is quiet. I want to ask him about the firecrackers, but he doesn't seem like he wants to talk.

"What's wrong Guthrie?" I finally ask.

"Nothing."

"How come you won't talk to me?" I ask him. "Yesterday you seemed sad when we picked you up from Scott's house. What happened?"

"Nothing."

"You can tell me." When he's still quiet I say, "Guthrie, you always tell me what's bugging you. How come you won't now?"

"Leave me alone," he says.

"But why? Why won't you talk to me."

"Would you stop bugging me!" He yells. "I don't want to talk about it, and I don't want to talk to 'you'!" He runs away from me so I run after him.

"Wait!" I yell. "Guthrie!" I try to catch up with him, but he's running really fast now and I'm tired. It's a really hot day and I can't run anymore. I start to cry because I feel sad. I don't understand why Guthrie's acting this way. When I turn onto our driveway I start kicking my feet in the dirt while I walk. This turned out to be a really bad day!

On my way to the house I look out at the cows and watch Brian riding his horse around them. I wonder where everyone else is. Then I see Crane walking out from the barn and he walks toward the house. When he sees me coming he stops walking and waits for me. He laughs when I get closer and says, "you get so dirty when you kick your feet in the dirt like that."

I don't say anything. I walk by him without even looking at him.

"Hey," he says, "are you crying?" He runs up to my side and walks with me. "What's the matter? Did you have a bad day at school?"

That makes me cry more. I try to wipe the tears away with my hand but the tears keep falling.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Crane asks. He puts his hand on my shoulder to stop me from walking and crouches down in front of me. "Talk to me."

If Guthrie won't talk to me, I'm not gonna talk to him. I'm tired, and hot, and mad now. "Leave me alone!"

"What's wrong. Did you get in trouble at school?"

"No!"

He puts both hands on my shoulders and says, "Heidi, talk to me."

I let go of my homework folder so it falls on the ground and put my hands on Crane's chest and push him as hard as I can. "Leave me alone!" He loses his balance a little and when he takes his hands off my shoulders to steady himself, I pick up my folder and run to the house. Once I'm inside I fling the front door open and slam it closed behind me. I run into the kitchen and slam my red homework folder down on the kitchen table.

Hannah looks at me from over by the sink and puts her dish towel down. Guthrie is sitting at the table and he looks at me too.

"Here!" I yell. I open my folder and take out the note for Adam. I throw it on the table and glare at Hannah.

"What's wrong Heidi?" She asks.

I look at Guthrie and he's looking down at his cookie. He still looks sad. "Nothing's wrong! Here's the stupid note for Adam to sign!" Then I glare at her again.

"Heidi!" She says.

I pick up a cookie and Hannah says, "go wash your hands. You're filthy, and then sit down at the table and talk to me."

I hold the cookie in my hand and glare at her. I don't move at all.

"Heidi? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong!" I take a bite of my cookie and glare at her.

"Heidi, put the cookie down and sit down at the table," Hannah says in her serious voice, but I'm not gonna. Kelly's right. She's not mom and she's not even my sister. "Heidi," she says. Her face looks really serious, but I'm too mad to care. "Heidi, did something happen at school today?" She asks.

"No!"

"Mr. Brick called and talked to me. Does this have something to do with the boys who vandalized the bathroom?"

I look at Guthrie when she says that and he looks up at me.

"Heidi," Hannah says, "he wants you to tell him who you saw."

Guthrie looks scared now so I look at Hannah and yell, "I didn't see anybody! I already told him that! And why is he calling _you_?!"

"Heidi, calm down right now and sit down!" She says in a loud, serious, voice. That's like a yell for her.

I glare at her and yell, "no! I don't have to talk to you! I don't have to do anything you tell me to do either! YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!" I throw my cookie on the table and run to the back door. I'm crying really hard now and I'm exhausted, but I open the door and run to the bench where my bullfrog box is and pick it up. I'm gonna go to the pond and let her go. Hannah and Guthrie are out on the porch now and Hannah says, "Heidi, come inside right now!"

I look back at her for a second and then take off down the porch steps. I can hear her calling my name, but I don't stop. I hear Guthrie calling my name too, but I don't stop for him either. I'm not gonna stop until I get to the pond.

* * *

I can hear Guthrie calling my name still. That's weird, I shouldn't be able to hear him anymore. I'm far from the house now. I turn around and see Guthrie running after me. He has his shoebox too. I stop running and wait for him to catch up.

"Heidi, did you really see who vandalized the boy's bathroom?" He asks.

"I saw you, Kenny and Scott running out of the bathroom after the firecrackers went off. Guthrie, what were you doing in there?!"

"I didn't do anything. Kenny and Scott did. They threw wet paper towel wads all over the bathroom and then Scott lit firecrackers in the trash can. I didn't know what to do, it all happened so fast! Heidi, I don't like Scott."

"Why?"

"He wants to do things that I don't want to do. Kenny likes Scott, so I'm kind of going along with the stuff they do because I'm afraid to say I don't want to do them."

"Did something happen when you went to Scott's house?" I ask him.

"Yes. Since he lives in town he doesn't have any place to ride his dirt bike when he's at home, so he rode it in the street. His neighbor told him he couldn't do that, but Scott didn't care. The neighbor called the Sheriff, and the Sheriff told Scott not to ride in the street. After the Sheriff left, Scott told me I could ride his dirt bike. He wanted me to ride it in the street."

"Did you?"

"No, he called me a sissy, but I told him I didn't care if he thought I was a sissy, I wasn't gonna ride the bike in the street."

"Good. Then what did he do?"

"_He_ rode it in the street again, so his neighbor called the Sheriff again."

"What did Scott's mom say?"

"She wasn't home. She works, so me and Scott were the only ones home for a long time."

"Did the Sheriff come back?"

"Yes. He told Scott to stop riding the bike in the street again. Then the Sheriff sat in his car and watched us until Scott got bored and we went inside."

"Then what did you do?"

"We watched TV. I wanted to go home so bad."

"That must have been horrible. But how come you didn't tell Hannah or Adam what happened?"

"I don't know. I guess 'cause I was afraid they would tell me I couldn't be his friend. Kenny thinks Scott is so cool, and I don't want to lose him as a friend."

"Does Kenny still think he's cool after what you guys did in the bathroom?"

"I don't know. Heidi, I didn't know Scott had firecrackers until he took them out of his pocket. I didn't know what to do. It was like everything happened so fast. Kenny and Scott started making a mess in the bathroom and all I could do was watch. It was like I was frozen."

"That's happened to me before." We walk quietly now and I think about what I'm going to tell Mr. Brick. "Guthrie, I'm not going to tell on you."

"You have to."

"No I don't. If I tell on you, I have to tell on Kenny and Scott too."

"I didn't think about that," he says. "That doesn't sound good."

We're quiet again until Guthrie says, "Heidi, why were you so mad at Hannah?"

I have to think about that for a minute. "I don't know. I guess I'm tired of her telling me what to do all the time. I don't see why I have to listen to her. She's not my mom. She's not even my sister."

"She's your sister-in-law."

"So. That doesn't mean anything to me."

"I think you hurt her feelings."

"I don't care!" That's a lie though. I feel sad that I hurt her feelings.

"Yes you do."

"No I don't! I don't want to talk about this anymore!" I yell at him.

"Ok, I'm sorry."

We're quiet again and we don't say another word until we get to the pond.

* * *

As soon as we get to the pond we let our bullfrogs go. I think they're happy to be free because they hop away as soon as we open the boxes.

I didn't change into shorts when I got home from school, so I'm still wearing my jeans. Guthrie is too, so after we take our shoes and socks off we roll our jeans up as high as they can go. Guthrie's lucky he's a boy because he can take his shirt off to go swimming. I'm going to try to keep my jeans dry, but I know they're gonna get wet eventually. Guthrie and I play around in the pond and find the floating log to play with.

We play for a long time and I'm soaked. My jeans feel heavy on me when I swim, but that doesn't keep me from having fun.

"We'd better dry off now," Guthrie says. "We should go home soon so we're not late for dinner. We didn't do our chores either."

We walk out of the pond and find a big rock to sit on. "Guthrie, I don't want to go home," I tell him.

"I wouldn't want to go home if I were you either. You were really mean to Hannah. Adam's gonna be mad at you. I bet Hannah's mad too."

"Then I'm not going home."

"What are you gonna do, stay out here all night?"

"If I have to. Guthrie, why do we have to do what Adam, or Brian, or Crane tell us to do? They're just our brothers. It's not like they're our real dad."

Guthrie sighs and says, "Heidi, you already know the answer to that. Adam's in charge of us. He's our dad."

"No he's not!"

"Yes he is. You've even said so before."

"Well not anymore! Kelly says he's just my brother so I don't have to do what he says to do!"

"Kelly doesn't know what she's talking about."

I know he's right, but I don't care right now. "Guthrie, why do we have to make Mother's Day presents and cards at school when we don't have a mom?"

"Is that why you were mad at Hannah? I used to hate making those things too. It was hard. Fourth grade is the last year they make you do that. Once you're in fifth grade next year, you won't have to make stuff like that."

"Well good, because I'm not gonna make anything anymore!"

"Let's go home now. If you tell Adam and Hannah about the Mother's Day thing I bet they won't be mad at you."

"Yes they will! Besides, I don't want to go home. You can go home if you want to, but I'm staying here!"

"You can't be here by yourself. You're not old enough. I want to go home now. I don't want to get in trouble for being late to dinner. Then we won't be able to come here for a while."

Guthrie stands up and walks over to where his shoes and socks are. I don't get up. I watch him instead.

"Heidi, come on. You can't stay here. Put your shoes on, it's getting late."

"I don't have to do what you say to do either! You're not my dad! Why is everyone always telling me what to do?! Why can't I be here by myself?!"

"Because Adam says so. Come on, I don't want to get in trouble." Once he has his shoes on he stares at me. "Are you coming?"

"No!"

"Come on Heidi! I hate it when you act like this! Just come home, I can't leave you here all by yourself."

"Yes you can. Besides, I'm not gonna stay here I'm gonna go far, far away!"

"Are you running away?"

"No! I'm just going exploring. I'm not hungry for dinner and I don't want to go home, so I'm not gonna!"

"Where are you gonna go?! You can't go further than the pond!"

"Says who?!"

"Adam!"

I know he's right, but I'm so frustrated right now. And then I think about Daniel. "Hey, guess what Guthrie? Daniel didn't do what Adam told him to, so why should I?!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Daniel came home late the other night. He wasn't supposed to stay out that late on a school night. He also drank beer! If he doesn't have to do what Adam says to do, then I don't either!"

I can hear Guthrie groan. "Heidi, that's different."

"Why?! Why is it different?!"

"For one thing, Daniel is older than you, and for another...,"

I interrupt him. "So! Age shouldn't matter!"

"Oh my gosh Heidi! I can't talk to you about this anymore! You're not making any sense! I'm going home!"

"Fine!"

Guthrie starts to walk away and I watch him go. I don't care if I'm out here all by myself if it means no one can tell me what to do. Guthrie keeps turning around to look at me, but I'm not gonna follow him. Finally he stops walking and turns around.

"Heidi, would you come on! Look at where the sun is! We're late for dinner now!"

I shrug my shoulders at him. "Why would I want to go back if I'm already gonna be in trouble?"

"So you don't get in _more_ trouble! You're gonna be grounded and then you won't be able to go to the rodeo!"

Oh no! He's right!

"I bet if you come home now, you'll only be in a little bit of trouble, but if Adam has to send someone to get us, you're gonna be in a lot of trouble. You know he hates it when he has to do that."

Guthrie is right again. What am I doing? "Do you think he'll take the rodeo away if I come home right now?" I get up quickly and go over to where my shoes are.

"I don't know."

I look down at my shoes and socks. "Guthrie, I don't know what to do. I think I just want to run away."

"That's the worst thing you could do!"

"Why? Hannah's mad at me, Adam's gonna be mad at me for what I said to Hannah, and Mr. Brick called home and wants me to tell on you. Do you want me to tell on you?"

Guthrie doesn't answer me right away. Then he finally says, "no."

"I don't see any reason to go back home then."

Guthrie groans again and says, "come on! Just come home with me!"

I leave my shoes and socks where they are and walk back over to the rock I was sitting on earlier. "I'm staying," I tell him as I sit down on it.

Guthrie sits down on a rock over where he is and looks away from me. He's looking towards the path to the house. We don't talk anymore because there's nothing to talk about now.

* * *

I can hear the horses coming before I see them. It's getting dark now and I guess Guthrie hears the horses too, because he gets up and walks towards where the noise is coming from. "See!" He yells back at me. "Now we're in trouble! Evan and Ford are coming to get us!"

Good. I'm glad it's them and not someone else. When Ford and Evan ride up to Guthrie, Guthrie says, "she wouldn't come home! I couldn't leave her here!"

"Let's go Heidi!" Evan yells, but I'm not moving.

"No! I don't have to do what you tell me to do!"

"She keeps saying stuff like that!" Guthrie tells them.

"Adam told us to come get you," Ford yells. "You have to do what he says."

"No I don't!"

"She's keeps acting like this! She's mad and she doesn't want to get in trouble," Guthrie says.

"To late for that," Ford says.

"Heidi, if you don't come over here right now I'm gonna get off my horse and come get you!" Evan yells.

Hmm. I'd better put my shoes and socks on so I can run from him. I get off the rock I'm sitting on and walk over to my shoes.

"Good. Put your shoes and socks on and let's go! I have things I want to do besides being out here looking for you!" Evan yells.

After I get my shoes and socks on I stare at them. Guthrie is already on Ford's horse with him, and all three of them are staring at me.

"Come on Heidi!" Evan yells. I shake my head no at him. "Fine!" He yells. "Have it your way!" Evan slides off his horse so I stand up and he yells, "you can't run away from me, I'm faster than you!"

I don't say anything. When he starts walking towards me I start running away from him. Then he starts running. He's fast so it doesn't take long for him to catch me. He picks me up so I start kicking my legs trying to make him let me go.

"Stop!" He yells. He puts me down and holds me tightly so I can't move, even though I'm trying my hardest to escape. "I'm not letting go until you calm down," he says. "You're making me mad Heidi."

"I don't have to do what you tell me to do!" I yell.

"You can yell that all you want, but you're gonna come home with me."

"No I'm not!" I'm starting to get tired from trying to get away. Then I have to stop because I'm too tired to try to get away and I start crying. Nobody says anything to me they just watch me cry. Then Evan hugs me and I go limp in his arms.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Everything," I say.

"Let's go home then, it's getting dark."

"I don't want to go home."

"Why?"

I don't know how to answer that. Evan picks me up and carries me to his horse. He puts me up on him and then he gets on behind me.

"Let's go home," he says, and we gallop off.

* * *

When we ride up to the house, Evan and Ford let us off before they take their horses to the barn. Adam is waiting out on the porch. I think he's waiting for us. He stands up when we get to the porch steps.

"What were you guys doing?! Do you know what time it is?!" He says. He's not yelling. Yet.

"We were at the pond. Heidi wouldn't come home so I stayed with her," Guthrie says.

Adam looks down at me and says, "is that true?"

I nod my head slowly.

"You guys went to the pond without asking and you skipped out on your chores. You know you're supposed to be back before dinner. Why didn't you want to come home Heidi?" Adam asks.

"Because I thought you'd be mad at me."

"Adam, she's been acting weird all day. They made Mother's Day presents at school, and she yelled at Hannah, and some girl named Kelly told her she didn't have to do what you say because you're not her dad, you're just her brother," Guthrie says.

"Why are you telling him all that?!" I yell.

I shove Guthrie and Adam picks me up. "You're not going to do that to your brother," he says. "Guthrie, go inside and eat, I'll talk to you later." Then he looks at me and says, "you and me are going to have a little talk."

"I don't want to," I tell him quietly.

"Too bad." He walks over to the bench on the porch and sets me down on it. Then he drags a chair over to the bench and sits down on it right in front of me. I look away when he says, "what's going on?"

"Nothing," I say quietly.

"Something's going on with you. Is what Guthrie said true? Are you believing this girl at school who's telling you I'm just your brother?"

I look down at my lap and shrug my shoulders.

"I hope you're not believing her, because you know that's not true. Heidi? Heidi, would you look at me please." I look up at him and he says, "do _you_ believe I'm _just_ your brother?"

"I don't know!" I cry and then I cover my face with my hands and cry because I can't look at him anymore.

Adam groans and lifts me up so I'm on his lap. He kisses the top of my head and I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck and rest my head on his shoulder to cry. "Heidi, I wish you would believe me when I tell you I'm more than just your brother. Look at me."

"No."

"Look at me," he says and he moves me so I have to look at him. "I don't tell you what to do because I want to boss you around, I set rules for you to keep you safe, because I love you and I care about you. We all do. Are you listening to me?"

I nod my head.

"Why are you letting someone get you confused about that?"

I shrug my shoulders because I don't know how to answer that.

"I think I know the answer to that. I think you were mad because we told you not to do something and you really, really wanted to do it. I think this girl gave you an excuse to think you can do anything you want to."

"What?"

"Did she tell you, you don't have to listen to us because we're not your mom and dad?"

"Yes."

"So what does that mean?" I stare at him so he says, "it sounds like you don't have to listen to anybody."

It does sound like that.

"Heidi, we've talked about this a lot. Why do I ..., why do _we_..., 'tell you what to do'?"

"Because you're in charge?"

"What? Did you listen to anything I just said?"

"Yes. You tell me what to do because you're the boss of me." I smile at him.

"Oh, you're teasing me now. Good, I'm glad you're smiling now, but tell me the real reason now."

"Because you care about me and you want to keep me safe and...and you love me."

"Right. Now you need to remember that. That's always going to be true. Always. Do you understand that?"

I look at him and nod my head.

"I mean it. I don't like it when you forget that."

"Ok." I hug him and say, "I'm sorry Adam."

"I love you Heidi."

"I love you too, Adam," and then I whisper, "Dad."

"Heidi, what happened with Hannah today?"

I don't know what to say except, "I told her she wasn't my mom." I hug Adam tighter and say, "I think I hurt her feelings. Adam, I don't know why I said that. I just felt really mad."

"Do you think it might have something to do with Mother's Day coming up?"

"I don't know. I know I didn't want to make a Mother's Day present today. I don't like it when we have to do that."

"I know. It's a hard time of year for us." He hugs me tighter and we're quiet. I wonder if he's thinking about our mom. I wonder if he misses her. I don't get much time to think about that because a car pulls up to the house and someone gets out of it. Daniel's home. It's hard to see in the dark, but I think that's Tanya's car. She must've drove him home.

Daniel walks up the porch steps as the car drives off and Adam asks, "how'd rehearsal go?"

Daniel doesn't answer him, he just keeps walking to the door.

"Daniel?" Adam says and Daniel ignores him and goes inside the house.

I get off Adam's lap and sit on the bench across from him again. "Is he mad at you?" I ask him.

"I don't know. Probably."

"Hey! He doesn't like you telling him what to do either! Just like me!"

"That's not funny," Adam says, but he's not mad when he says that.

"That's ok, he won't be mad at you for long. He'll be happy soon. I bet you'll even _want_ him to drop out of high school and go to LA!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing," I say to him and I give him a big smile.

He looks at me and says in his serious voice, "why would I want Daniel to drop out of high school Heidi?"

I smile at him and shrug my shoulders.

"Heidi, what do you know that you're not telling me?" He looks serious now.

I stand up so I'm standing right in front of him and I take his hands and hold them. "Trust me. You're gonna be happy."

"Heidi, when you tell me I'm going to be happy about something, that makes me think you came up with some sort of plan, and I told you not to do that."

"I didn't. I didn't come up with any plan. But trust me, you're gonna be happy."

"Why don't you tell me what you did, because I know you, and you did something."

Hmm. I did do _something_. "It's a secret," I tell him.

"No, it's not a secret. Tell me what you did Heidi."

"I can't. It's a surprise."

"I don't like your surprises. If I were you, I'd say what you did now, instead of _surprising_ me later. I mean it Heidi."

I think I'd better change the subject. "Adam, is Hannah mad at me?"

"What? That's not what we're talking about right now, and by the way, Hannah told me Mr. Brick called. He wants you to tell him what you saw."

"I know."

"Then why didn't you do that?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Adam, I'm not gonna tell."

"I'm sorry to hear you say that. That means you're not going to the rodeo this weekend."

"What?! You can't do that!"

"What?"

"Never mind," I say quietly.

"Are you going to tell Mr. Brick what you saw?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"This isn't like you Heidi. You love rodeos. Especially this one."

I look up at him and say, "I know, but I can't say what I saw."

"Will you tell _me_ what you saw?"

"No. I can't."

"Heidi, don't you trust me?"

I look at him. I don't know what to say. But I don't have to say anything because the front door bangs open and Daniel comes rushing out with my brothers and Hannah following after him.

"Daniel! Come back!" Brian yells.

"You're not thinking clearly Daniel!" Crane yells.

Adam stands up and we rush over to them. We're all following Daniel down the steps out to the truck.

"What's going on?!" Adam yells.

"Daniel says he's leaving with Tanya and her band and he's going to LA!" Brian yells.

"What?! Oh no he's not!" Adam yells.

"I'm with you on that!" Brian yells and Crane agrees.

"You can't stop me!" Daniel yells.

"Wanna bet!" Brian yells.

"What's happening?" I ask Guthrie.

"Daniel is going to LA."

"Why? Did they like his song?" I ask him.

"What are you talking about?" He asks.

"Why is he going to LA?" I ask. "Did Tanya tell him to?"

"Tanya doesn't know he's going with them. Daniel said Tanya and her band are skipping the rodeo this weekend to go back to LA. She said they have a new song to record. They're packing up their stuff now. Daniel decided he wants to go with them so he's gonna go meet up with them."

"What?! She can't do that! That's his song!" I can't believe this is happening! Daniel's just gonna leave without saying goodbye or anything?! I race to the truck where Brian is guarding the door so Daniel can't get in and everyone is standing around yelling.

"Heidi!" Guthrie yells. "What do you mean that's Daniel's song?"

I don't have time to talk to Guthrie. I have to tell Daniel that Tanya has his song.


	6. Chapter 6

"Daniel!" I yell. "Daniel! Tanya has your song! Tanya has your song!" Nobody's listening to me! They're all too busy yelling at Daniel and not letting him get in the truck. How am I gonna get his attention, or anyone's attention when everyone's yelling at the same time? I try to whistle but I'm not very good at that yet, so no one can hear me. I bet Hannah will listen to me, so I run over to her. She's trying to calm Adam down.

"Hannah!" I yell. She doesn't even look at me so I start pulling on her arm. "Hannah! You have to listen to me! Hannah!" Finally she looks down at me.

"Heidi, go back to the house," she yells down to me.

"No! Hannah!" She's not looking at me anymore. What am I gonna do? I climb into the truck bed and yell as loud as I can. "Stop!" No one pays any attention so I jump on Daniel's back.

"What? What are you doing Heidi! Get off me!" He turns around in a circle trying to get me off, but I hold on tight.

"Listen to me!" I yell. I feel someone trying to pull me off Daniel so I grab on to his neck tighter.

"Ow! Stop it Heidi! You're choking me!"

"Let go!" Brian yells. He's trying to pull me off. The good thing is, everyone's quiet.

"No! Not until you listen to me! Tanya has your song! Tanya has your song!"

Brian pulls me off and puts me on the ground and I look around at everyone staring at me.

"What are you talking about?" Daniel asks.

"Tanya has your song. The song you've been looking for."

"What? How do you know that? What are you talking about Heidi? I don't have time for this!" Daniel says.

"I gave her your song...,"

"You what?!" Daniel yells and I hear Hannah say, "Heidi," and some of my brothers say, "oh no," and "why'd you do that?"

"I thought she could sing it to her manager, and if he liked it he'd give you a record deal. She was supposed to sing it to him over the phone. I don't know what happened. I don't know why she wants to leave now."

"I'll tell you what happened!" Daniel yells. "She stole my song!"

"No she didn't! I let her borrow it."

"Why?! Why would you do that?!" Daniel asks.

"To get you a record deal," I say quietly.

Daniel kicks the truck. Then he looks at Adam and yells, "I guess I'm not going to LA! You got what you wanted!"

"Hey! This isn't what I wanted!" Adam yells.

"Dang it!" Daniel yells as he kicks the truck again. "Now I'm not going to LA and I don't have my song! I've been working on that song for a while now!"

Daniel starts to walk towards the house and Adam yells, "hey, where are you going?!"

"I'm going inside to do my homework!" He yells. "It's a school night, remember? _Dad_!"

Brian yells, "hey, don't talk to Adam like that!"

"Daniel, I know you're mad at me right now, but you have to believe me when I say I know your music is important to you," Adam says.

"What good does that do me now? You're just happy I'm not leaving!"

"Daniel get back here! We've got a song to go get," Adam says.

Daniel looks at Adam and says, "what do you mean? She's got it and she's leaving tonight. There's nothing I can do about it."

"She hasn't left yet," Adam says. "Go get in the jeep, we've got to get that song back."

"I'm with you bro!" Brian says.

"Me too," Crane says. "Let's go Daniel."

Daniel looks at Adam and says, "why would you do that for me? Especially on a school night?"

"Because that song is important to you!" Adam yells. "I wish you would get it through that thick skull of yours, I'm not the enemy here! If that song is important to you, it's important to me. Now I don't like this attitude of yours right now. We're not going to let some girl take away something that is yours, so get in the jeep and let's get that song back!"

Daniel, Brian, Crane and Adam run to the jeep and get in. Adam drives off while the rest of us stand where we're at staring at the jeep as it drives down the driveway and out to the road. Then everyone looks at me.

"What were you thinking Heidi?!" Evan yells.

"I thought Tanya could get Daniel a record deal. I didn't know she was gonna steal his song!" I start crying.

"You shouldn't have given it to her," Ford says.

"Leave Heidi alone and let's go inside now," Hannah says. "You boys need to finish your homework."

Why'd she say _boys_ and not me? I follow everyone back to the house even though I don't want to.

* * *

I'm starving since I haven't had dinner yet, so Hannah dishes some beef stew for me. All of us are sitting at the kitchen table. Evan, Ford and Guthrie are trying to do their homework, but they're distracted.

"Do you think they'll get the song back Hannah?" Ford asks.

"I think so," Evan says.

"Yeah, I bet Brian will punch their brains in if he has to, to get Daniel's song back," Guthrie says.

"Guthrie, they're not going to fight anyone," Hannah says.

"They will if they don't give the song back," Guthrie says. "I wish I could see them fight!"

I wish I could too, but I'm not gonna say that out loud right now. Not when everyone's mad at me.

"Guthrie, do your homework," Hannah says. "All of you do your homework. That's enough talk about fighting. Your brothers will get that song back and they won't need to fight anyone to get it back."

I feel really bad that I gave Tanya that song. Why would she steal it? I finish my stew and Hannah asks me if I have any homework.

I shrug my shoulders because I can't remember.

"Go get your folder," she says.

I don't know where it is because the last time I saw it was when I came home from school and threw it on the kitchen table. I get up and go look for it in the living room. I don't see it anywhere so I sit down on the couch to think about Daniel and his song. I wish I didn't give it to Tanya. Hannah comes in from the kitchen and sits down next to me.

"What are you thinking about?" She asks me.

"Hannah? Why would Tanya steal Daniel's song?"

"I don't know," she says.

I start to cry. "I didn't know she would do that."

"I know," she says as she puts her arm around me.

I lean against her and cry. "Why does everything I do always turn out bad?"

"Not everything you do turns out bad."

"Yes it does! This wasn't even a plan and it turned out bad! Daniel hates me!"

"Don't say things like that," Hannah says. "You shouldn't have given Tanya his song, but he's not going to hate you for it."

I don't believe her so I stop talking and cry quietly. Then I remember what I said to Hannah earlier today. I bet she hates me too. I stop leaning against her and move away from her.

"Where's your homework folder?" She asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. The last place I saw it was on the kitchen table."

"I bet it's on the desk. Go get it and bring it into the kitchen." She stands up so I do too. I walk over to the desk and find my folder and follow her into the kitchen. When I sit down and open up my folder, I groan. I have math homework. I take the ditto out and get up to go find a pencil. When I come back I sit down and stare at my paper.

My brain can't concentrate. The math problems look like a bunch of numbers scattered all over the page. I look at what Ford, Evan and Guthrie are doing. They look like they're working hard. Evan sees me staring at him so he says, "what?"

"Nothing," I say quickly and look back down at my math ditto.

"How come you gave Tanya Daniel's song?" He asks.

"I thought she could help him get a record deal."

"But he barely knew her."

"I thought she was nice," I tell him.

"Same here," Guthrie says. "She seemed nice when she came over for dinner."

"You don't just give strangers something that doesn't belong to you," Evan says to me.

I look over at Hannah. She's washing the dishes. She's not saying anything, but I know she can hear us. "Evan, I didn't know she was going to steal his song."

"That's why you shouldn't have given it to her," he says.

"But I didn't know!"

"It wasn't yours to give away," he says.

Everyone's looking at me now, including Hannah. I don't know what else to say. He's right, I shouldn't have given it to Tanya because it wasn't mine. I feel like crying, but I don't want to in front of everyone. Instead I look down at my homework and start writing numbers. Any numbers. I'm not even looking at the problems, I just want to finish this and get out of here fast before I start crying.

"Done!" I put my homework in my folder and get up and start walking out of the kitchen, but Hannah calls me back.

"Not so fast," she says. "Let's check them." She walks over to where I was sitting and opens my folder. I watch her correct my paper in her head. When she's done she looks at me. She doesn't look very happy so I look down at the floor. "These are all wrong," she says. "Sit down and erase all these numbers and start over."

I'm starting to feel mad. I know Adam said I'm supposed to do what Hannah tells me to do, but I don't see why I should have to do this. Having wrong math problems isn't going to hurt me. I stare at her. "I don't want to," I tell her.

As I'm staring at Hannah, I can feel everyone's eyes on me.

Ford says, "Heidi, do what Hannah told you to do."

Now _he's_ gonna tell me what to do? I don't think so. I glare at him and he looks a little surprised.

"Heidi," Hannah says again, "sit down."

Now I glare at her. I'm not moving from where I'm standing.

Evan says, "come on Heidi. Just sit down and finish your homework."

I glare at him. "I already did my homework!"

"Hey, don't get mad at me," he says.

"Why? You're telling me what to do, and you're not the boss of me!"

"Heidi, think about what you're doing right now before this gets out of control and you say, or do something, you might feel bad about later," Hannah says.

I don't know what she means by that. My brain can't think right now.

Hannah says, "I'm asking you really nicely to sit back down and redo your homework."

"I said, I don't want to."

"Quit being stubborn Heidi!" Evan yells. "Sit down and do your homework!"

"No!"

"Evan," Hannah says, "let me handle this." Then she says in a real serious voice, "Heidi, sit down."

I look around at everybody. "Why is everyone always telling me what to do?! It's like I have seven dads!" Then I look at Hannah and glare at her and say very slowly, "and you're...not...MY...MOM!" There. I said it. Now what do I do? I look at Hannah and I feel really bad. She looks a little sad, but I think she looks a little mad too. What did I just do? I start to cry and I run out of the kitchen. I hear someone's chair scraping on the kitchen floor and Hannah says, "Evan, let her go." I run to the front door and open it up and run outside. I've got to get far, far, away from here.

* * *

"Heidi wait!" I hear Guthrie yell. I stop running and turn around to look at him. "I have a flashlight," he says. "Where do you wanna go?"

"What about your homework?" I ask him.

"I can finish it at school tomorrow during recess. Heidi, why are you so mad?"

I cry again. "I don't know!" And I really don't.

"Do you want to go to the barn?" He asks. "We can hide out in the loft for a little while."

"Does Hannah know you're out here?" I ask.

"Yes. She said I could go find you. She told me to get a flashlight and go find you."

"She did?" I look down at the ground. "Did she tell you to bring me back?"

"No. She told me to go make sure you're ok. Heidi, what's wrong?"

"I don't know. Let's go to the loft." We walk to the barn quietly. When we get inside Guthrie's starts to turn the light on. "No. Don't turn that on. I don't want anyone to know I'm in here."

We climb up to the loft using Guthrie's flashlight for our only light source. When we're at the top we find some hay bales to lay on. It's not very comfortable, but it's better than lying on the floor. The loft door is open to the outside so I stare up at the stars. Guthrie turns his flashlight off and it's pitch black. I'm scared. "Guthrie, turn it back on," I tell him.

"But then someone will see the light and know we're up here."

He's right. I'm just gonna have to be brave. "Ok, turn it off."

He turns it off and we lay quietly for a while until I say, "Guthrie, Adam said I couldn't go to the rodeo unless I tell Mr. Brick what I saw."

"Oh no! I'm sorry Heidi. I guess you have to tell."

"No I don't."

"But you love this rodeo!"

"So. If I tell, you're gonna get in trouble."

"So. I don't care."

"But if I tell on you, I have to tell on Scott and Kenny too, and then Kenny won't be your friend anymore."

Guthrie sighs. "I know. But you know what Heidi? I don't think I want to be friends with Kenny if he wants to be Scott's friend. You can go ahead and tell."

"No, I'm not gonna tell on you."

"Then I'll tell Mr. Brick what I did."

"Are you kidding?! That'll be even worse for you! Then no one will want to be your friend!"

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"Because then you'll be a tattletale!"

"Oh. I didn't think about that." He's quiet again. "But Heidi, I want you to go to the rodeo."

I don't know what to say to that. I want to go too, but I don't want Guthrie to get in trouble. "Guthrie, I think I just want to run away."

"I know. Me too. I don't know what to do about Scott. It's not like Kenny is my only friend, but I sure would miss playing with him if he doesn't want to be my friend anymore."

I hear a car diving on our driveway. It must be the jeep.

"They're back!" Guthrie yells. "Do you want to go back to the house and find out if Daniel got his song back?"

"I guess so." I'm not looking forward to seeing Daniel though. I hope he got his song back. "Do you think we could run away later tonight?"

"Ok. I'll run away with you," Guthrie says. "Now let's go find out if they got his song back."

We both get up and Guthrie turns his flashlight on so we can see as we climb down the ladder. I hope Daniel isn't too mad at me. I also hope Hannah doesn't tell Adam what I said to her.

* * *

When we go into the house everyone is in the living room talking. They're all standing up and it's easy for me and Guthrie to come in without anyone noticing us.

"She was surprised to see us," Daniel says. "You should've seen the look on her face when I told her I wanted my song back. Her band wasn't too happy with her when they found out she took my song. They thought I gave it to her."

"Why would they think you gave it to her?" Hannah asks.

"They thought Tanya was gonna pay me for my song."

"You should've seen her trying to convince Daniel that's what she was gonna do," Crane says. "She was all over him apologizing and telling him she was going to surprise him when her manager gave her a contract to sign."

"I didn't believe her for a second," Daniel says. "Adam, you were so right when you said Tanya was a bad influence. I can't believe she would try to steal someone's song like that."

"Did you have to fight them to get your song back?" Guthrie asks. He's excited and so am I.

Everyone looks at us now.

"No, we didn't have to fight anyone," Brian says.

"When we showed up and Tanya's band found out what she did, they made her give it back," Crane says.

"I bet you would've beat them up if you had to, right?" Guthrie asks.

"I think you need to go finish your homework," Hannah says to Guthrie. Then she looks at me, "you too."

Guthrie groans and walks towards the kitchen. Evan and Ford do too, but not me. Then Daniel says, "I've got a lot of homework to do. I haven't done any for the past two nights so I've got to catch up. Adam, can I talk to you before I start my homework?"

"Sure. Why don't we sit here on the couch?"

Everyone else goes into the kitchen except for Hannah. She stares at me and says, "Heidi, come into the kitchen and do your homework."

I don't want to. I'd rather stay out here and listen to Adam and Daniel talk. Adam looks at me and says, "Heidi, do what Hannah tells you to do."

I glare at Hannah and stomp into the kitchen. I hear Adam say, "what's that all about?"

"I'll tell you later," she says.

Oh great! Now she's gonna tell on me too! It's bad enough I have to do what she says to do. When I stomp into the kitchen everyone is sitting at the table and they look over at me. Crane is holding my math paper. I guess he was looking at it. I run over to him and grab it out of his hand. It rips when I do that.

"Great! Now I have to tape it!" I look around the table. There's no room for me to do my homework in here. Well, that's not true, there is, but it's crowded. "I'm gonna do my homework at the desk," I tell anyone who'll listen.

"What's wrong?" Crane asks.

"Nothing! I'm mad so leave me alone!"

"Do you want to talk about it?" Crane asks.

I glare at Hannah and say, "I can't! I have to do my homework right now!" Then I walk back into the living room and sit down at the desk.

Adam and Daniel are sitting on the couch that faces the stairs, so they can't really see me sitting at the desk because it's sort of behind them a little bit.

"I'm sorry Adam," Daniel says. "I guess I got caught up with Tanya and her band. She made going to LA seem so exciting."

"I know," Adam says. "It must've been exciting hearing about a record deal."

"Truth is Adam, I haven't really decided if LA is the place for me, or if Nashville is. I was kind of leaning towards Nashville until Tanya came along. She made it sound so exciting to go with her."

"I know she did."

"Tanya was telling me yesterday that I didn't need to finish high school. She said I could get my GED instead."

"She's right," Adam says.

What's he talking about? I guess that confuses Daniel too because he says, "what do you mean?"

"Daniel, you're eighteen years old. You're an adult. You can drop out of high school whenever you want. I don't want you to drop out, especially since you're so close to graduating, but you can."

"I guess you're right. Adam, I don't want to drop out. I never wanted to, I was just mad at you. I feel like you don't want me to leave the ranch when I'm done with high school. It felt like Tanya coming now was a sign that this was the time for me to leave."

"Daniel, I don't want you to stay on the ranch if you don't want to. I'm not going to force you to stay."

"I think I'm a little scared to leave the ranch."

"I remember that feeling. I remember feeling a lot of different emotions after I graduated from high school. I was excited to be going away to college. I was nervous and afraid I wasn't going to be good enough on the college basketball team, and I was a little bit afraid to leave the ranch. This is an exciting time for you Daniel. I'll tell you what Dad told me, and Mom too. They said, "Son, we're proud of you. You're going off to college now and we're excited for you. We want you to know we support you and we believe in you and we're always here for you." Daniel, I want you to know that too. I want what's best for you. I want you to follow your dreams and if that means leaving the ranch, I support you. We all do."

"Adam, do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you went away to college after Mom and Dad died?"

"Maybe a little, but I would never change my decision to stay home and raise you guys. Daniel, just because you're eighteen and graduating from high school doesn't mean my job stops. Being a parent doesn't stop when the kid becomes an adult. Mom and Dad told me that too. I'm always going to be here for you Daniel. Wether you go to LA or Nashville. I have to tell you though, I never really saw you as the LA type. I always thought you'd end up in Nashville."

"Me too, but it's so far away from all you guys. I'm scared to leave you, I'm afraid I'm going to make a mistake like I did with Tanya."

"I know. Truth is, you are going to make mistakes, and you're going to learn from them. That's a part of growing up too."

"But what if I make a huge mistake. I don't know if I'm ready to leave the ranch."

"Only you know the answer to that. Daniel, if your not ready don't leave. Whatever you decide I'll support you. We all will."

"I know. I'm sorry I've been giving you a hard time about school. You're right. I've only got a month left and that would be stupid if I dropped out of high school now."

"Good! I'm glad you see it that way, because there's no way Brian, Crane and I would've let you do that."

They both laugh and Daniel says, "I know."

"Daniel I want you to follow your dreams. It's important for you to do that. Mom and Dad told me the same thing. They knew my dream was to play basketball and they were happy when I got a full scholarship to play at college."

"But you didn't get to follow your dream," Daniel says.

"Not that dream, but I found a new dream to follow. Raising you guys. Dreams can change Daniel. Now my dream is for you guys to be happy and follow your dreams. I'm happy on the ranch Daniel. I've got Hannah and all of you guys and I'm happy with my life. I want that for you too. If music makes you happy, great. But if that changes and something else makes you happy, that's fine too. Follow _your_ dreams."

"I guess I was letting Tanya influence me a little bit. It didn't feel right to leave with her, but I thought this was my only chance."

"You're eighteen years old Daniel. You have your whole life ahead of you."

"Thanks Adam. I guess I'd better get busy and do my homework now. I've got to get caught up or I might not be graduating," Daniel says.

"I hope you're joking about that," Adam says.

"I am."

Adam pats Daniel on the back and they stand up. Daniel says, "thanks _Dad_." He gives Adam a hug and then they walk this way. I look down at my homework and pretend I'm doing it while Daniel walks by and into the kitchen. Adam stops.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"My homework."

"Why are you doing it out here?"

"It's too crowded in there," I tell him.

Hannah comes walking out of the kitchen and tells Adam, "we need to talk."

I guess she's gonna tell on me now.

"As long as it doesn't have to do with any kids, because it's been a long day and I've had enough _Dad_ talks to last me for a couple of days." He's smiling at Hannah when he says that, but she doesn't smile back. Instead she looks at me and Adam says, "oh. I take it I'm not done being Dad tonight."

"No," Hannah says.

"Well, I guess that job never ends." He sighs and says, "tell me what's going on." He looks at Hannah when he says that but then he looks at me and says, "why don't you tell me what's going on instead."

Me? Why would I want to do that. I look at my math ditto and shrug my shoulders.

"Heidi, what's going on?" He asks again.

"I don't know," I say quietly still looking down at my paper. "I have no idea what she wants to talk to you about."

"It looks like you do," he says.

"Nope," I say.

"Look up at me Heidi." I look up at him and he says, "tell me what's going on. Did something happen with Hannah?"

I'm starting to get mad. I don't want to talk about this right now. "I have to do my homework right now."

"That can wait," he says.

"No it can't! _She_ says I did it all wrong and now I have to erase everything and start all over again! That's gonna take me forever!" I look at Hannah. "Go ahead! Tell him! Tell on me!"

"Heidi!" Adam yells. "Don't talk to Hannah like that!"

"Why not?! She told me to erase it all and do it all over again!"

Hannah says in a real serious voice, "why don't you tell him what you said to me after I told you to redo it."

"No! Why do _I_ have to tell him?! _You_ tell him!" I start crying now and yell, "you're not my Mom so stop telling me what to do!" I stand up when I say that last part. The whole house is quiet. I look in the kitchen and see everyone looking at me and that makes me cry harder. I look at Adam and yell, "that's what I told her! And I'm right, she's not my mom!" Then I look up at Hannah and yell, "you're just a tattletale! A big tattletale!" Hannah's eyes look sad so I stop looking at her and I look at Adam instead. His eyes look mad. Very mad, so I look down at my paper, but looking at it reminds me I have to redo it and I get mad again. I look at everyone in the kitchen and yell, "you all tell me what to do and I don't like it! You're not my Dads!" Then I look at Adam and yell, "and neither are you!"

Adam's eyes are really angry looking but he says very calmly, "you need to calm down right now and stop yelling."

"No! I'm running away! And you can't stop me! None of you can! I'm tired of all of you telling me what to do and I'm tired of having to make Mother's Day presents every year too!" I don't know why that last part came out of my mouth, so I look at Hannah and yell, "you keep talking to me like Denise's mom talks to her! You tell me what to do all the time! You tell me when to take a bath and when to get up in the morning, and when to go to bed and a whole bunch of other stuff! You make cookies for me, you tuck me in, and you help me with my homework. Denise's mom does all that stuff too!" I'm crying pretty hard now. "My teacher wanted me to make a flower pot for you, but I couldn't! I don't know why I couldn't, because you would've really liked it." I start to feel sad, but then I feel mad again. "You can't be my mom! My mom is dead! I'm not supposed to have a mom, so you can't be mine! So..., so..., so stop trying to be mine!" I cover my face with my hands and cry into them. I don't know why I said all those things, I feel really bad right now and the only thing I can think of to do is run away, I just have to figure out how to run by Adam and Hannah.


	7. Chapter 7

What did I just do? Now _everyone's_ gonna hate me. I can't stop crying and I want to run away so bad, but I don't know how to get by Adam and Hannah. I guess I could try to escape out the back door, but with everyone in the kitchen I'm sure someone will stop me. I move my hands away from my face and look around. It feels like time is frozen. Adam doesn't look mad anymore, his eyes look sad, and Hannah has tears in her eyes. I made her cry? Why did I say all those mean things to her? I don't even know what I was talking about. Why did I talk about Denise's mom? When I look into the kitchen everyone's staring at me except for Guthrie and Ford. Guthrie's crying and Ford is trying to comfort him. I made Guthrie cry too? I have 'got' to get out of here! I look at the front door and then at the back.

"Heidi," Adam says quietly, but I can't look at him. I just want to be alone. I want to be somewhere where I can cry without everyone staring at me. I can get out of here, I just have to run faster than everyone. My eyes keep looking back and forth between the front door and the back door.

"Heidi, you're not going to run away," Adam says.

He starts to take a step towards me and I don't know why so I get ready to run.

"Heidi, I can see that look in your eyes. I just want to hug you. Will you let me do that?" He says.

I shake my head no. "No," I cry. "I just want to be by myself."

"I don't want you to be by yourself. None of us want you to be by yourself right now." I can hear my brothers agreeing to that.

"But I want to. I don't want to talk. I don't know why all those things came out of my mouth. I just want to be by myself and forget I ever said anything." I look up at him and say, "please?"

"No, we need to talk about this," Adam says.

"But I made Hannah cry! I hurt her feelings."

"No you didn't Heidi," Hannah says. "I'm crying because _you're_ hurting."

I cover my face with my hands because new tears are coming and I don't want anyone to see them. I feel someone hug me and that makes me cry harder. Then I'm being picked up and I wrap my arms around Adam's neck and rest my head on his shoulder and cry. Hannah puts her hand on my forehead and rubs it slowly and gently. It feels good, but then I feel bad so I turn my head towards Adam's neck and cry that way. Hannah smooths my hair back.

I hear chairs scrapping against the kitchen floor so that means my brothers are getting up. Adam walks over to the couch and sits down with me. Hannah sits down next to us and my brothers find places to sit.

"This is the first Mother's Day we've had a woman living with us since Mom died," Crane says.

"I was thinking the same thing," Adam says.

Everyone is quiet except for the sniffling sounds Guthrie is making. I'm crying quietly now and Adam is rubbing my back.

"Do you remember how hard it was those first couple of Mother's Days after...," Crane says and then he stops talking.

Brian says, "yeah I remember."

"Remember how hard it was for Daniel, Evan and Ford at school when they had to make Mother's Day presents?" Crane says.

"I remember," Adam says. "It was so hard for them. They were sad and mad and...," his voice trails off for a minute and then he says, "well, Daniel and Evan were, especially that first year. Ford was in kindergarten and I think he was just happy to be making something out of clay."

My brothers laugh a little bit. "He came running into the house with this little vase he made yelling, "look what I made! Look what I made! I made it for Mommy!"

"That was a hard day for us," Brian says sadly.

"Why?" Guthrie asks.

"Because it was hard to tell Ford Mom wasn't coming back. He used to ask us where she was all the time." Crane says.

"Remember how he used to ask, 'is Mommy coming home today? Is Daddy with her?' We had to keep explaining to him they weren't coming back," Adam says. "That made it hard for all of us too."

Everyone's quiet. I think they're thinking. Then Crane says, "remember how Mom would love all those Mother's Day presents we made her? She'd put the cards and presents on top of her dresser..." Crane stops talking because he's crying, I think.

Adam rubs my back and says, "are you ready to talk, Heidi?"

I shake my head no. I still feel bad.

"It's normal to feel the way you're feeling," he says. "You've never had a woman take care of you like this before."

"Like what?" I ask.

"Like how Hannah does. She takes care of you like a mom would," he says.

"She does?" I ask.

"Yes," Crane says.

"But I'm not her daughter."

"No, but that doesn't mean she can't take care of you," Adam says.

"She _does_ take care of us like a mom does," Guthrie says. He sounds surprised. I guess he never thought about that before either.

"I love you guys," Hannah says. "I love taking care of you. _All_ of you."

I look at her from where I am resting my head on Adam's shoulder and she smiles. She has a really pretty smile.

"I'm sorry I said all that stuff to you Hannah," I tell her. "I didn't mean to make you cry. I don't even know why I said some of those things."

"I know," she says. "Heidi...," she starts to say something, but I interrupt her.

"Adam, can I go to bed?" When he doesn't answer right away I push against his chest with my hands so I can lean back a little and look into his eyes. "Please?" I ask.

"I'd like to talk about this now," he says.

"I'm really tired," I tell him. "It's been a long day."

"That's right you have had a long day," Hannah says. "Going to bed might be a good idea, Adam. She's had a long stressful day. Daniel's song was weighing heavy on her, not to mention whatever she witnessed at school. Put that together with Mother's Day coming up and I think you've got one stressed out little girl."

Normally I would pretend to be mad when someone calls me little, but I don't feel like it right now. "Can I go to bed now Adam?"

Adam sighs and says, "ok, but are you sure you don't walk to talk about this now? It'll probably help you feel better."

"No," I say as I get off his lap. I look around at everyone and say, "I'm sorry I yelled at all of you." Then I look at Daniel and say, "I'm really sorry about your song. I'm glad you got it back, but I'm really sorry I gave it to Tanya." Then I look at Hannah. "I'm sorry for yelling at you too." I look around the room once more and say goodnight as I walk over to the stairs.

"I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in," Adam says.

I stop walking and turn around. "You don't have to do that. I'm too old to be tucked in. After all, I am ten years old." Then I turn back around and walk up the stairs. I can feel everyone's eyes on me as I walk to my room.

* * *

When I'm in bed I listen to the conversation going on downstairs. It sounds like they're talking about me.

"Why did Heidi say she doesn't want to be tucked in?" Guthrie asks. "She loves that."

"She's hurting right now," Hannah says. "She's confused and doesn't know how to deal with her feelings so she's trying to push us away."

"But we can help her," Ford says.

"I know. She's not ready yet," Hannah tells him.

"Do you think this has to do with Mother's Day coming up?" Crane asks.

"Maybe," Hannah says, "but she's been asking me a lot of questions for the past few months about being a mom. Usually when I'm tucking her in. She asks about things my mom did with me and she asks me if I'm going to do those things when I'm a mom. I think she's been thinking about this for a while, I think she's trying to figure out if I'm being a mom to her."

"I guess we all remember what it's like to have a mom and she doesn't," Daniel says.

"I don't," Guthrie says. He sounds sad when he says that. "I don't understand why she's so mad at you Hannah. She loves you." He's right, I do love her.

"She's still trying to figure this mom thing out," Adam says. "I didn't know she was asking you questions about being a mom."

"She's been asking me for a while now. She's very curious about what a mom does. I don't think she really knows. You're the mom and the dad," she says to Adam. "The only moms she knows are her friends' moms, and I don't think she's ever asked them any questions.

"We haven't had a woman living here since Mom died," Crane says. "I guess it would be confusing for Heidi since she's never lived with a woman before."

"I guess so," Adam says. "I never really thought about it like that before."

"But I don't understand why she's mad," Guthrie says.

"Yeah. Why'd she get so mad at you Hannah?" Evan asks.

"She has conflicting feelings about me," Hannah says.

"What does that mean?" Guthrie asks. I want to know that too.

"She knows her mom died and I think she feels like she's betraying her mom if she starts to think of me as her mom."

What? I don't understand that at all.

"But Adam isn't her real dad," Daniel says.

"I hate it when people say _real_ dad. I am a _real_ dad. I'm the only dad she's known," Adam says.

"I know," Hannah says. "They should say something like her real dad is her _birth_ dad."

"But she accepts you as her _real_ dad," Brian says. "Why doesn't she accept Hannah as a mom?"

Adam says, "she just recently accepted me as her dad. She had a hard time figuring that out. Now she's having a hard time figuring out Hannah. You have to remember she's only ten and she's never experienced feelings like this before."

"She's afraid if she accepts me as her mom, she'll lose her real mom, her _birth_ mom in the process. She doesn't understand all of these feelings yet."

"That's why we need to help her through this," Adam says.

"Yes," Hannah says.

"How?" Evan and Daniel ask.

"By answering her questions," Hannah says. "She has a lot of them. By making her feel ok about her feelings."

"Why'd she get mad at _us_?" Ford asks.

"Because she's having a hard time with me _telling_ her what to do," Hannah says. "She's used to you guys doing that. But now she has me in her life and like I said, she doesn't know how to deal with her feelings about me yet. I don't think she's mad at you guys, I think she's having a hard time dealing with the change that's happening in her life. Right now the only way she knows how to deal with it is getting mad and pushing people away."

I don't understand anything she's saying. How am I pushing them away?

"Do you think she's acting this way because she's a girl?" Brian asks.

"Yeah, girls are different than boys," Guthrie says and they all laugh a little bit.

"You got that right," Brian says. "All the emotions they have drive me crazy!"

"Are you talking about Heidi, or the girls you date?" Crane asks and they laugh.

Then Adam says, "girls _are_ different than boys. Raising you guys was different than raising Heidi. It still is different, and we're not done raising her yet."

"Yeah, we still have the teenage years to get through," Crane says. "That means boys."

"Oh, that won't be a problem," Adam says. "I'm not going to let her date until she's twenty. Make that thirty!"

They laugh and Evan says, "I'd like to see you try to stop her from dating."

"Yeah, that would be funny to see," Guthrie says.

"I'm gonna have my shotgun out when a boy comes over to pick her up," Brian says. "I'm also gonna make sure he knows I'll use it if he brings her home late, or tries anything with her."

"You and me both," Adam says.

"I think we'll all be ready with our shotguns," Crane says and they all agree.

Hannah laughs. "With the seven of you, she doesn't have a chance at dating."

"Good," Brian says, "because I mean it. If any boy tries something with her I'll knock him into next week!"

"I don't think we'll have to worry about her and boys," Hannah says. "She's a strong girl."

They laugh and Brian says, "you got that right. She'll be able to beat up any boy she goes out with."

"That's not what I meant," Hannah says, "although you do have a point. I think she could beat any boy up if she wanted to, but what I meant was, she's strong mentally. She's not going to put up with any funny business from a boy. Growing up with the seven of you puts her at a great advantage. I think she's going to know exactly what type of boy she wants to date."

"Yeah, I can see that," Adam says. "She's going to date boys that like riding horses and rodeos."

"And boys that like to go adventuring," Guthrie says.

"Yeah, and boys that like to sing," Ford says.

"Or play a musical instrument," Evan adds.

"It's going to be fun watching her grow up and blossom into a woman," Hannah says.

"Yuck!" Guthrie says. "No it's not! Heidi, becoming a woman? No way!"

Everyone laughs and Adam says, "I think I can wait for that. I don't want to think about that happening for a _long_ time."

"Me either," Crane and Brian say.

"I'm glad she has you in her life Hannah," Adam says. "She needs a woman in her life. Especially a strong woman like you."

Hannah laughs and says, "she's going to need me if she ever wants to date because I don't think you guys will ever think any boy is good enough for her." They all laugh and then Hannah says, "but seriously, I'm happy to be in her life. I love her so much."

"I know you do," Adam says. "I think we're all happy you're in our lives."

Everyone agrees and Guthrie says, "I am too. I never thought of you being like a mom, but now that I think about it, you are like one. I like it."

"I think Heidi does too, she just doesn't know it yet," Crane says.

"I think you're right," Adam says. "I also think you guys have homework that needs to get finished."

I hear some groans and I hear people getting up and walking into the kitchen.

"We'd better get back to 'the books'," Crane says.

"Guthrie," Adam says, "I need to talk to you for a minute."

"What?"

"Do you know anything about what happened at school today?" Guthrie's quiet. He doesn't say anything so Adam says, "usually if you don't answer me that gives a pretty good idea that you do. What happened?" Guthrie still doesn't say anything.

"The principal said it had to do with the boys bathroom being vandalized and something about firecrackers," Hannah says.

Guthrie's still quiet.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me," Adam says. "You can tell _us_."

"Yes, I know what she saw," Guthrie says. "I know _who_ she saw." He's talking really quiet so I can barely hear him.

"Who was it?" Adam asks.

Guthrie sighs. "It was me."

"What?" Adam asks. He sounds really surprised. Not mad, just surprised.

"I didn't know they were gonna do it Adam!" Guthrie says. It sounds like he might cry.

"Do what? Why don't you start from the beginning."

Guthrie tells Adam what happened and I think Adam is doing a good job of not yelling. I can hear his voice is serious and sometimes it starts to get loud, but Adam tells Guthrie he's going to have to tell Mr. Brick what happened.

"That's going to be hard," Guthrie says. "Then I'll be a tattletale!"

"Are you thinking about you, or Heidi," Adam says. "You know Heidi will never tell on you. She's going to miss out on the rodeo this weekend if she doesn't tell."

"I know. She told me that. I feel really bad Adam."

"I know you do. She feels really bad too. I don't know what kind of punishment she'll get at school if she doesn't tell Mr. Brick who she saw. She's going to protect you no matter what."

"I know. I'll tell Mr. Brick tomorrow morning," Guthrie says.

"Good, I'm glad. I think that's the right decision and I knew you'd think of it and do it. Your sister loves you a lot and she'd do anything to protect her. Just like I know you'd do the same for her. That's how I knew you'd come up with that decision."

"I know. I've been feeling bad about it all night."

"I knew something was bothering you," Adam says. "I'm sorry Scott didn't turn out to be a good friend, but I'm glad you realized it. Maybe a little to late, but you did eventually. It's seems like there's been a lot of bad, _new_ friends lately."

"I know," Hannah says. "There's Tanya and then there's Kelly too. Kelly must've put even more stress on Heidi."

"I know," Adam says. "Well, why don't you tell Mr. Brick what happened in the morning and I'll tell Heidi she can tell him the same thing. I'm going to go tuck her in now. I don't care if she says she doesn't want to be tucked in, I'm doing it anyway. I'm not going to stop tucking her in until she's an adult." Hannah and Guthrie laugh and Adam tells Guthrie he needs to get ready for bed. Then I hear them walking up the stairs. I turn and face the wall and shut my eyes. I'm going to pretend to be asleep. I'm not ready to talk yet.

* * *

"Aw, she's asleep," Hannah says quietly. Adam and Hannah have just walked into my room and I'm pretending to be asleep. "Look at how peaceful she looks. She's had such a long day."

"I know," Adam whispers. "I wish she was awake so I could tell her how much I love her. It's hard to believe all the stuff she has going on in that little head of hers right now."

"I know. I think she'll feel better in the morning. Especially if she knows Guthrie is going to confess to what he did. That must've been really hard for her to keep inside."

"I know," Adam says quietly. "If there's one thing us McFaddens do, it's stick together and protect one another."

"I know. You all have a lot of love for each other. Especially for this little girl," Hannah whispers.

"I know. Heidi can be so frustrating at times. She's just like Brian, only a little version of Brian. She says what she thinks and explodes like a little firecracker if she thinks someone's wronged her, but I wouldn't change a thing about her. I love this little girl just the way she is."

"I know you do," Hannah says. "I love her too."

I hear them leave so I turn to lay on my stomach and cry into my pillow. I feel so bad for all the mean things I said. I told Hannah she wasn't my mom and I told Adam he wasn't my dad. That must've hurt him a lot.

* * *

I can't take it anymore. My stomach hurts so bad. I haven't been able to go to sleep. Everyone's in bed now and it's one o'clock in the morning. Why can't I go to sleep? I'm so tired. My brain keeps thinking about all the things I yelled at everyone. It just keeps going over and over in my mind. It feels like my brain is spinning out of control. I want to tell everyone I'm sorry. I need to tell everyone I'm sorry. I get up out of bed and walk to Adam and Hannah's room. It's dark in the rest of the house and I feel a little scared so I run to their room and open the door really fast. Once I'm inside I walk over to Adam's side of the bed. It's the one closest to the door.

"Adam," I whisper. "Adam." He doesn't wake up. It's dark in here and I reach out to feel for him. I think I'm touching his arm. I shake it a little and whisper, "Adam." He's not waking up so I shake him a little harder and talk a little louder. "Adam." He moves a little so I say his name again.

"What?" He asks. He sounds tried.

"Adam?"

"What? What's wrong," he asks. He sounds a little panicky and sits up really fast. "Is that you Heidi? What's wrong?" He turns the lamp on his nightstand on and sits up all the way so his feet are resting on the floor and he says, "what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," I say quietly while he rubs his eyes.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," I say again and I start to cry.

He groans and picks me up so I'm sitting on his lap and he puts his arms around me. "I know," he says and I cry harder. "I know you are." He kisses the top of my head and says, "you should be asleep right now."

"My stomach hurts!" I cry. Hannah sits up now. "I'm sorry Hannah!"

She sits up and moves so she's sitting next to Adam and she rubs my back. "I know Heidi, I know."

"No, I'm really sorry! I said mean things to you and I wish I could take them back." Then I look up at Adam and say, "I'm sorry I told you, you weren't my dad!"

"I know," he says. He holds me closer to him and kisses the top of my head again. "Sh. I know," he says softly.

"My stomach hurts a lot and I can't sleep. I was awake when you came to tuck me in. I've been awake this whole time. I'm sorry I hurt you."

Hannah stands up and says, "I can get you some medicine."

"The pink stuff you drink? I don't like that stuff," I tell her.

"Ok," she says and she sits back down next to Adam and rubs my forehead slowly with her hand.

"I'm sorry. I want to tell everyone I'm sorry."

"You can do that tomorrow," Adam says. "Heidi, everything's going to be ok. We're not mad at you."

"But I said all those mean things to everyone."

"I know," he says, "but we understand why you said those things and I'm sorry you're hurting."

"I am too," Hannah says.

I look at her and say, "I'm sorry Hannah."

"I know, you don't have to apologize anymore," she says.

"But I feel so bad."

"I know you do. After we talk about all this, you'll feel better."

"I will?"

"Yes," Adam says. "We can talk about it after school tomorrow. I'll stop work early and come inside when you get home from school. We all will. Maybe we can have a family meeting about this. We haven't had one of those in a long time. We can all talk about it together. We want to help you Heidi. All of us do. We're not mad at you." He lifts my chin up and says, "do you feel any better now?"

I nod my head and he hugs me tightly. "Good. Let's get you back in bed. I'll sing you a song if you want me too."

"Can Hannah come too?" I ask.

"Of course I'll come," she says.

Adam stands up and carries me back to my room and Hannah follows behind us. Adam sets me on top of my bed and I crawl underneath my covers. They both sit down on my bed and I say, "I'm sorry I said I didn't want you to tuck me in. I really like it when you do that. You too Hannah."

"I know," Adam says. "And don't worry, I'm _always_ going to tuck you in. Whether you like it or not."

They smile at me and I say, "I love you. Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

"Sure," Hannah says. "Now close your eyes and listen to the song."

They decide what song to sing and start singing. It helps me relax. I love it when my brothers sing to me at bedtime. I love it when Hannah sings to me too. I'm starting to feel really sleepy. I can hear the song end and I feel them kiss me goodnight and I whisper, "goodnight Hannah. Goodnight Adam. You are my _real_ dad." Then I go to sleep.

* * *

I'm really tired when Hannah wakes me up in the morning. I sit up and stretch. It's already sunny outside and I'm sure it's going to be another hot day. Evan and Ford walk by my door and look inside. When they see I'm awake they stand in the doorway and Ford says, "good morning."

"Good morning," I say. "I'm sorry I yelled at you guys last night."

"It's ok," Evan says. "We know you didn't mean it, even though it probably does feel like you have a bunch of dads with all of us telling you what to do all the time."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you," I tell them again.

"It's ok Heidi. I'm sorry you're having a hard time right now. You know you can always come to us if you need to talk about something."

I nod my head. Daniel walks up so Evan and Ford leave.

"Daniel, I'm really sorry I gave Tanya your song."

"I know, and we can talk about that later, but not right now. How are you feeling?"

"I'm sorry I yelled at you last night," I tell him.

"I know. I'm sorry you were feeling bad. I think everyone understands why you yelled at us last night. We want to help you Heidi. You need to talk to us about stuff. It helps if you do that."

"I know. I'm sorry, sometimes I forget that."

"We're here for you. You'd better get up now though. You don't want to be late for school."

"Ok," I say. I get up to shut my door so I can get dressed, but when I reach the doorway I lean into Daniel and hug him instead. "I'm sorry."

"I know. I love you Heidi," he says.

"I love you too."

I let go of him and he rubs the top of my hair and messes it up more than it already is. "Now get dressed and come downstairs little sis'."

"Hey! I'm not _little_!" I yell and I stomp my foot.

He smiles and I laugh at him as he walks away. Then I shut my door so I can get dressed.

* * *

At breakfast Hannah tells me Guthrie confessed last night about what happened at school. She tells me to tell Mr. Brick who I saw so I won't get in trouble. I tell her I will and when we're finished eating she hands us our lunches and gives us each a kiss. "Have a good day," she calls after us as we walk out the front door. I turn around and run back to her and give her a big hug.

"I'm sorry about last night Hannah," I tell her.

"I know. I'm looking forward to talking to you after school today. Don't forget, we're having a family meeting."

I look up to her while I'm hugging her and say, "I love you Hannah."

She smiles down at me and says, "I love you too. Now get out to that bus stop before you're late and miss the bus."

"Ok." I let go of her and run out of the house to catch up with Guthrie.

On our way to the bus stop we talk about what we're going to say to Mr. Brick.

"Thanks for not telling on me yesterday," he says.

"You're welcome. I'm sorry you have to tell today."

"Me too. My stomach hurts a lot. I'm so nervous!"

"I would be too," I tell him.

Talking to the principal is not my favorite thing to do. I don't really like him, and he doesn't like me.

"I hope Kenny's not too mad at me when he finds out I told," Guthrie says.

Kenny's not my favorite person in the world. My brothers say I don't like him because I'm jealous of him when he comes over to play. I don't think so, but I know Guthrie likes Kenny as a friend so I hope he doesn't get mad at Guthrie. I guess we'll just have to wait and see how Mr. Brick handles all this. Maybe Scott and Kenny don't need to know it was Guthrie who told.

* * *

As soon as we get to school we walk straight to the office. Ms. Trent smiles at us when we walk in. She gets up from her desk and walks over to the counter across from where we're standing. "Good morning," she says. I like her a lot. She's dating Crane and Crane likes her a lot too.

"Good morning. Are you coming over for dinner tonight?" I ask. "Or is Crane taking you out?"

"I'm coming over for dinner and afterwards we're going to see a movie in Angels Camp."

I'm excited. I love it when she comes over for dinner.

"Do you need something?" She asks.

"We need to talk to Mr. Brick," Guthrie tells her.

"He's out on the playground right now. Do you want to wait for him, or go out to play and I'll send for you later?"

"I think we should wait here," Guthrie says. "Then we can get it over with."

Ms. Trent looks puzzled so I tell her we have something very important to tell him. "It has to do with what happened in the boys bathroom."

"Oh," she says. "Why don't you two have a seat on the bench."

We walk over to the bench and sit down. A parent comes into the office and talks to Ms. Trent. I sigh. I'm glad that was a parent who walked in and not Mr. Brick. I don't know why, but I'm starting to feel nervous. The door opens again and this time it 'is' Mr. Brick who walks in. When he sees me he says, "good, you're just the person I was looking for. Come into my office Heidi."

I stand up and follow him inside his office and sit down in the chair that's facing his desk. He closes his door and sits down and stares at me.

"Are you ready to tell me who the boys were that you saw running away from the bathroom?"

I nod my head. "Guthrie, Kenny and Scott," I tell him.

"I see. Why didn't you tell me that yesterday?" He asks.

"I didn't want to tell on Guthrie."

He stares at me and I can tell he's thinking. "You should've given me the names yesterday. You can miss out on your lunch recess today. I'll let Ms. Wilson know you'll be spending it with her in the classroom."

"But isn't that a punishment for her too?" I ask.

Now he glares at me. "You don't need to worry about that."

"But I'm sure she'd rather stay in the teacher's room and talk to all the other teachers, instead of being inside the classroom with me at lunchtime."

"I don't care. You're staying in your classroom for lunch and that's the end of this discussion. Unless you'd like to spend all of your recesses in the classroom."

I laugh. "That would _really_ be punishing Ms. Wilson! She's not gonna like you if you do that!"

Mr. Brick's face is starting to turn red. It does that when he gets mad. "I suggest you go out to the playground now before I really do take all your recesses away."

I stand up and say, "ok, but how come you're already grumpy when school hasn't even started yet?"

He glares at me now and yells, "would you go out to the playground right now?!"

"Ok, ok, I'm going," I say as I smile and open the door to leave.

As I'm walking out Mr. Brick yells, "Guthrie McFadden, come in here!"

"Sorry," I whisper to him as we walk by each other. Then I smile at Ms. Trent. She's sitting at her desk now. "Mr. Brick is already grumpy and the day hasn't even started yet!" I tell her.

She smiles and says, "ok. Why don't you go out to the playground now. They bell is going to ring soon and I'm sure you need some time to run around and play before school starts."

"Ok," I say. I wonder what she means by that. Oh well, I guess I can always ask her tonight when she comes over. I walk out of the office and skip out to the playground.

* * *

The day is going by nicely. I haven't gotten in trouble at all so far and Kelly is staying away from me and Denise at recess. But now lunchtime is coming and I don't want to stay inside for recess. I told Denise why I had to stay in and she was glad I told.

"I want you to be able to go to the rodeo," she says. "I'm looking forward to it so much, because you're going to be with me. I can't wait for you to show me everything!"

"Me too! It's gonna be so much fun!"

She says goodbye to me as she leaves with the other girls from our class to go to the cafeteria. I get my lunch bag out and open it up. I take out my sandwich and apple and then find the cookies that are at the bottom of the bag. I always eat those first. I look at my teacher. She's sitting at her desk and she's getting her lunch out too. She has a thermos that she opens and pours something hot into the plastic cup. I bet it's soup because she starts eating it with a spoon.

"Ms. Wilson?" She looks at me. "I'm sorry you have to stay in here for your lunchtime. I told Mr. Brick that wasn't fair to you, but he got kind of mad. I tried to speak up for you but he said if I didn't leave his office he'd take all my recess away and you'd have to stay in for those too. I told him that would _really_ be punishing you." She smiles a teeny tiny bit.

"I'm glad you only have to stay in for lunch," she says.

We're both quiet now while we eat. She eats her lunch while she reads a book and I look around the classroom and see the flowerpots everyone decorated sitting on the counter by the window. They look really pretty, especially with a pretty flower planted in each one. We're supposed to take them home today. I wished I made one for Hannah. I start to feel sad. She really would've liked it. Then I think of a great idea!

"Ms. Wilson?" She looks up from the book she's reading. "Can I make a flowerpot for Hannah?" I ask quietly.

She smiles at me. "Of course you can. I think she'll really like that."

I smile at her. "Me too."

"I have one flowerpot left in the back cupboard. Let me get it out for you."

I follow her to the back of the classroom and watch her get it out. Then she gets some markers out and some construction paper. "Would you like to make her a card?"

I nod my head and sit down at the back table. The flowerpot is painted white so when I draw on it with markers it looks really pretty. I decide to draw little flowers all over it with different colored markers. When I'm done, I look at it and I think it looks so pretty! Hannah's gonna love it! Then I start to make a card. I pick out pink construction paper and fold it in half. Then I write happy Mother's Day on the front. I look at it. Is that right? Should I write that? "Ms. Wilson?"

"Yes?"

"Should I write happy Mother's Day on my card if Hannah's not my mom?"

Ms. Wilson smiles at me and says, "if you want to, you should, or if you think she'd like it you should. It really depends on you. If you write happy Mother's Day I'm sure she'll love it, but if you write something else, I'm sure she'll love that too."

She's right. Hannah would love whatever I write. I decide to keep it. On the inside I draw a big heart and write, "dear Hannah. I love you. Thank you for taking care of me and loving me. Love, Heidi." I look at what I wrote. I know she'll love it! "I'm ready to plant the flower," I tell Ms. Wilson.

Luckily she has some extra flowers left too. I pick a pretty pink one. Ms. Wilson says it's a carnation and I know Hannah's going to love it. Ms. Wilson helps me plant it and when we're finished I carry it very carefully over to the counter where all the other kids' flower pots are. I can't wait to show Hannah today after school!

* * *

The rest of the school day goes just as nice as the first part. I don't get in trouble at all! When it's time to go home everyone's excited. We're excited about taking our flowerpots home, but were also excited for the rodeo. We all carry our flower pots and cards carefully. Luckily on Fridays we don't get homework so we don't have to carry our homework folders home. I show Denise my flowerpot and she says, "Hannah's gonna love it."

That makes me smile real big. We walk out of the classroom together and say goodbye as she walks to the parking lot while I walk over to the buses. I walk really slowly so I don't drop my flowerpot. It's a little hard to carry it while holding the card too, but if I'm careful I can do it. I hear someone say my name from behind me and I cringe. I know that voice, and I hate it!

"Hey McFadden!"

It's that mean bully Gary. He likes to pick on girls, especially me. He's supposed to be staying away from me, but he rides the bus too. Luckily a different one than I do, but all the buses are lined up at the same place so we see each other sometimes.

"McFadden!" He yells again. "I'm talking to you!"

I keep walking and don't look back. Adam says to ignore someone when they bother me so I'm gonna try to do that. Now he's next to me.

"What are you holding?" He asks. "Oh, it's a little present for your mommy!" He teases.

"Leave me alone!" I yell. I'm almost at my bus. I just have to ignore him for a little while longer.

"It's really ugly," he says. Then he moves so he's standing in front of me and I have to walk around him, but he keeps moving in front of me and laughing. Finally I stop walking.

"Leave me alone!" I yell.

He laughs and says, "whatcha gonna do about it?" He knows I can beat him up. I've done it before, many times. "You're holding something in your hands. Here, I'll take care of that."

It seems like I'm watching in slow motion as his hand reaches out to my flowerpot and knocks it out of my hand. I watch the flowerpot fall to the ground and break into a bunch of pieces. I stare at it laying there on the ground. The pot is in about five or six different pieces and the dirt is scattered all over. The flower is lying with the pieces of the flowerpot and I watch Gary's foot rise up and stomp right down on the flower. Then it rises again and smashes the flowerpot pieces into smaller ones. I start to cry as I stare down at the mess.

"What's the matter McFadden?" Gary says while laughing. "You're crying like a little cry baby!"

I look at him with tears in my eyes and watch him laughing. I start to feel angry and I can't hear him laughing anymore. I can see him laughing, I just can't hear it. I can't hear anything. I am so angry I do the only thing my brain knows how to do. I make a tight fist with my hand and hit Gary in the face as hard as I can.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

After I hit Gary his lip is bleeding. I reach back to hit him again, but he hits me first. Right on my mouth. Now I think _my_ lip is bleeding. I know there are kids standing around us watching us fight. They're probably yelling, 'fight! Fight! Fight!' I know I would be, but I still can't hear anything. Gary starts to punch me again, but all of a sudden Guthrie is here and he's pushing Gary away from me. I watch Guthrie punch Gary so hard he knocks him down. Then Guthrie looks at me and runs over and grabs my hand.

"Come on, Heidi! Run to the bus with me!" I hear him yell. I look down at the ground. My Mother's Day card is ruined too. I must've stepped on it when I punched Gary. "Come on Heidi, hurry!" Guthrie pulls on my hand and I run with him towards our bus. We get on it fast and Guthrie sits next to me. "I don't think any teachers saw the fight," he says. "What happened Heidi?"

I don't know what to say. My lip hurts and I can feel it's wet and sticky. I'm wearing a short sleeved shirt so I pick up the bottom of my shirt and wipe my mouth with it. Now I have blood on my shirt. I look at Guthrie. "Does it look bad?" I ask.

"Yeah. Your lip is pretty fat and it's still bleeding. You should probably hold your shirt on it to stop the bleeding."

I turn my head towards my shoulder and bring my sleeve up to my mouth. It hurts to touch my lip. I look at my hand and my knuckles are a little red and swollen. It must be from hitting Gary. I hit him pretty hard. He hit me back hard too.

"Heidi, you're gonna be in trouble. Adam's gonna be mad at you for fighting," Guthrie says. "He's gonna be mad at both of us. I hit Gary too."

I start to cry quietly. He's right. I'm probably not going to get to go to the rodeo this weekend. I stop holding my shirt to my mouth, and turn towards the window and look out so Guthrie doesn't see me cry.

"What happened Heidi? Why were you guys fighting?" Guthrie asks.

That makes me cry more. I don't feel like talking about it, but I don't want to be rude to Guthrie. When I don't answer him he says, "it's ok Heidi. You don't have to tell me now. You can tell me later. Ok?"

I nod my head and he puts his hand on my arm and rubs it a little. We sit quietly the rest of the way to our stop and when we get off the bus Guthrie says he's come up with a plan.

"We'll tell Adam you fell, ok?" He stops walking and pulls my arm to make me stop too. I look down at the ground and he says, "we'll sneak in the house and you can go upstairs and clean your face and change your shirt. I'll wait for you to come downstairs and then we'll walk into the kitchen together. Ok?"

I nod my head.

"If Hannah asks what happened to your lip, well just say you tripped and fell." I nod my head again and he says, "Heidi, look at me. Are you ok?"

I can't look at him. I cover my face with my hands and cry into them. Guthrie hugs me and says, "I'm sorry Heidi."

I cry harder. I wish I could tell him what Gary did to my Mother's Day present. I feel too sad to tell him about it right now. Hannah would've been so happy, but Gary ruined it. I start to calm down and Guthrie stops hugging me.

"Do you want to go to the house now?" Guthrie asks. "Or do you want to stay out here on the road a little while longer?" I nod my head and Guthrie says, "does that mean yes to the house, or to the street?"

"House," I tell him. My lip is fat. I can really feel how fat it is when I talk. My knuckles hurt too.

"Ok, let's go," he says and we walk to our driveway.

When we get close to the house Guthrie stops walking and asks, "are you ready?" I nod my head so he says, "ok, let's walk up the porch steps quietly. I'll open the door and make sure the coast is clear. Hannah's usually in the kitchen when we come home so she won't see us come in."

We walk up the steps quietly and Guthrie opens the front door slowly. When it's open enough for him to stick his head in, he looks inside and then quickly shuts the door and looks at me.

"They're all in the living room!" He says quietly. "Adam, Brian, Crane and Hannah! I don't get it, they're supposed to be working out on the ranch. They shouldn't be inside right now."

Oh. "They're here for the family meeting Guthrie," I say quietly. "Adam said we were gonna have one when I got home from school today."

"Oh no!" He looks at me and I can tell he's thinking about what to do next. "Ok, we'll go in, and you let me do all the talking. Ok? Don't say anything."

"Ok," I say.

"I mean it," he says. "I always tell you to let me do the talking and you always blow it. Trust me Heidi, I know what to say so you'll still get to go to the rodeo."

"Ok, I won't talk," I tell him again, but from the look he's giving me I can tell he doesn't believe me. "I promise."

"Ok, let's go." He opens the door and walks inside.

"What were you doing out there?" Hannah asks him. "I saw you open the door a few minutes ago, how come you didn't come inside?"

I walk in the house now and Guthrie says, "I was waiting for Heidi. She fell down and got hurt."

Now they're all looking at me. I look down at the floor and they get up and come stand around us. Hannah kneels down in front of me and lifts my chin up. "That's a pretty big fat lip you've got. What happened?" She asks.

"We were having a race to the house and she tripped on the steps and fell," Guthrie says.

"Just now?" Hannah asks. She looks up at Adam after she says that, then she looks back at me.

Guthrie says, "yeah, just now."

"Heidi?" Hannah says and I nod my head. Then she stands up and leads me into the kitchen while everyone else follows behind us. "Let's get your lip cleaned up and then I'll give you some ice to hold on it. Did you get hurt anywhere else?"

I shake my head no and then I start to feel really bad. We're lying and it gives me a stomach ache. I start to cry so Adam picks me up and says, "are you hurt somewhere else?"

I shake my head no and he sets me on top of the kitchen counter. That's usually where they put me when I'm hurt and they need to clean me up.

"So Guthrie," Hannah says as she brings a wet towel over to me, "you say this just happened right now?"

"Yes," he says.

"Are you sure?" She asks.

I look at Guthrie. It looks like Hannah knows this didn't just happen. He looks at me and then back at Hannah and quietly says, "yes."

"What are you thinking honey?" Adam asks Hannah.

"Well, the blood on her shirt is dry, which means she didn't cut her lip right now. My guess is she cut it at school." She starts dabbing at my lip with the towel and it hurts so I turn my face away from her. "Hold still," she says. When I don't she takes hold of my chin so I can't move my face anymore.

"What really happened?" Adam asks. "How did you get hurt?"

I look at Guthrie. I don't know what to say now. Guthrie says, "well, maybe we were out on the porch a little longer than I thought."

"Guthrie, this either happened at school, or on the bus ride home, not after," Hannah says.

"How come you're doing all the talking Guthrie?" Brian asks.

Adam says, "Heidi, tell us what happened." I look at Guthrie and he shakes his head no just a tiny bit so no one will see him do it. That means he still doesn't want me to talk so I look down at the floor.

"It looks like you got in a fight," Brian says and that makes me start crying.

"Heidi," Adam says, "is that what happened? Have you been fighting?" He's talking in his serious voice and when I don't answer he picks up my left hand and looks at it. When he puts it down I put my right hand behind my back. "Let me see your hand," he says. I look up at him and shake my head no. He sighs and takes my hand from behind my back and looks at it. "You've been fighting! You punched someone, and from the looks of it, they punched you back." I look down at the floor again and he says, "start talking."

I look at Guthrie and he says, "she must've scraped her hand when she fell."

Adam turns around and looks at Guthrie. His voice is loud now, not yelling but almost yelling. He says, "Will you let Heidi talk! I don't like it when you talk for her like this. I think Heidi was fighting and you won't let her talk because if she does she's going to get in trouble. So why don't you go in the other room and let me talk to Heidi."

Guthrie puts his head down and walks out of the kitchen slowly. Adam looks at me now and says, "start talking. I know you've been fighting. Did you punch that girl, that new friend of yours, what's her name?"

"Kelly," Hannah says.

"Did you punch Kelly?" He asks. "I told you if you did, you wouldn't be going to the rodeo this weekend. Is that why you're not telling us what happened?"

I shake my head no. "I didn't punch Kelly," I say quietly.

"Then who did you punch? And _when_ did you punch somebody? At school? We didn't get a phone call, did we?" Adam asks Hannah.

"Just the one from Mr. Brick this morning letting me know Guthrie was bringing a note home for you to sign," she says. "I've been inside all day and the phone hasn't rang since then."

"Who did you punch?" Adam asks again. "I'm starting to get mad, so you'd better start talking."

"I punched Gary."

Brian groans and Adam says, "why?! You know you're not supposed to be near him! How did this happen?"

Hannah puts her hand on Adam's arm and says, "let's hear what happened first before we start yelling."

Now everyone's looking at me and I don't know what to say. I don't know if I should tell them about the flowerpot. I don't even know why I made it now. That was a stupid thing to do! If I wasn't carrying that, Gary wouldn't have knocked it out of my hands and I wouldn't have punched him.

"I'm waiting for an answer," Adam says. "Why were you two fighting?"

I'm mad now because I'm not going to get to go to the rodeo and it's all Gary's fault! I start to cry, but not because I'm sad, because I'm mad. "I hate him! He's mean and I punched him!"

"But what happened?" Adam asks again.

"I punched him! That's what happened! I punched him right in his face and he punched my mouth! That's it! Nothing else happened!"

"You expect me to believe you punched Gary for no reason?" Adam asks.

"That doesn't sound like you," Hannah says.

"What do you mean that doesn't sound like me? I get in fights all the time! You don't even know me if you think punching someone doesn't sound like me! I hate Gary's guts so I punched him!"

"Heidi, you're being rude to Hannah," Crane says quietly.

"So what! I'm mad! I'm mad at all of you!"

"Why?" Crane asks.

"Yeah, why?" Brian asks. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Well it does to me! You guys are bugging me!"

"Heidi, stop yelling and talk to us," Adam says. "What's going on? What happened today?"

"Nothing!"

"Well, something had to have happened. Why won't you tell us what it is?" Adam asks.

"I told you already!" I fold my arms across my chest and glare at him.

"Fine, if you're not going to tell us what happened, I have no choice but to take the rodeo away. I told you I wouldn't let you go to the rodeo if you got in a fight, and it looks to me like you got in a fight," he says.

My stomach hurts when he says that and I feel sad, but only for a second. Well, I knew he was gonna take it away. I feel really mad now so I jump off the counter and yell, "I don't care! It's a stupid, stupid, stupid rodeo!" I start crying. "And I don't want to go to it anymore!" Then I push by everyone and run to the back door.

"Hey, get back here!" Adam yells.

I open the door and run outside letting the door slam behind me.

* * *

I run fast. As fast as I can away from the house.

"Heidi, wait!" Brian yells.

"No!"

I keep running and I can hear his footsteps behind me. He's getting closer and when he finally does reach me he runs along side me and says, "I can keep up with you, so you can either stop running now, or wait until you're too tired to run anymore. Either way I'll be right here with you."

"Go away Brian!"

"Nope."

I stop running and Brian does too. I look up at him and yell, "stop following me! Just leave me alone! I don't want to talk to you!" Then I push him. He wasn't expecting that.

"Hey, don't do that," he says, so I push him again. "Come on Heidi, don't do that. What's wrong?"

"I'm mad!"

"About what?"

I start crying and yell, "I don't know!"

He kneels down in front of me and says, "talk to me. What happened with Gary?" When I don't answer he says, "Heidi, you and I both know you don't fight someone for no reason at all. Did he say something to you?"

I shake my head no.

"Did he punch you first?" When I don't answer he says, "so you punched him first. If he didn't say anything to you, and he didn't punch you first...," I think he's thinking out loud. "Then..., what did he _do_ to you?"

"Nothing!" I yell and I push him again only this time he's ready for it. He grabs my wrists and holds them down so my arms are against my sides. "Ow! You're hurting me!" He really isn't. He grabbed my wrists gently and it doesn't take much force for him to keep my arms down.

"No I'm not. Talk to me Heidi. What happened?"

"Nothing!" I yell, and I look down at the ground.

"I don't believe you. Something happened Heidi and I can see you're hurt by it. What did Gary do that upset you so much that you can't even talk to your family about it?" That makes me feel sad. Then Brian says, "talk to me Heidi. I'll listen. You can tell me what happened."

That makes me feel sadder. I look up at him and cry, "he ruined my flowerpot!" Then I start to cry really hard and Brian lets go of my wrists and hugs me. My face is nestled against his neck and I cry. Brian doesn't say anything, he hugs me and rubs my back. We stay like that for a long time until I calm down.

"Are you ready to talk?" He asks when I'm done crying hard.

He lets me move so I can see his face and I look into his eyes. His eyes look sad and that makes me feel sad. I have the hiccups now so when I talk I get interrupted by them. "Gary knocked my..._hic_...flowerpot..._hic_...out of my hands!" I start crying again and Brian hugs me. "I made it..._hic_...for Hannah..._hic_...and he ruined it!"

"Oh." Brian starts rubbing my back again while he hugs me. "That wasn't very nice of him," he says.

"I shouldn't have made it!" I hiccup again.

"Why not?" He asks.

"I just shouldn't have!"

He stands up with me and holds me while he walks back to the house. I grab on to him tightly and cry on his shoulder.

* * *

When Brian gets to the front door I say, "wait. Don't go in yet."

He takes his hand off the doorknob and asks, "why? What's wrong?"

"Can I go to my room when we go inside?"

"Why? It's important for you talk to us right now Heidi. Tell everyone what happened," he says.

"I can't."

"Do you want 'me' to?" He asks. When I nod my head he says, "ok, but I want you to stay downstairs."

"No!" I cry.

"Why? Don't be afraid to talk to us."

"Adam's mad," I say quietly.

"You didn't tell him what happened. Once he finds out he's not going to be mad at you."

"Yes he is. He doesn't like it when I fight. Please, Brian?" I plead. "Please let me go to my room."

He sighs and says, "ok. I'll tell them what happened, but when I'm done you have to come downstairs and talk to us. Ok?" When I don't answer him he says, "if you're not going to do that, I'm not letting you go to your room right now. So, are you going to come downstairs after I tell everyone what happened?"

"Ok."

"Good." He opens the front door and walks inside. I look around the house. Hannah, Adam, Crane and Guthrie are sitting on the couches in the living room. Daniel, Evan and Ford are home from school now and they're in the kitchen eating cookies. Brian sets me down and I see Adam stand up.

"What happened Heidi?" He asks.

Instead of answering him, I run up the stairs.

"Heidi come down here!" He yells.

"Adam," Brian says, "she wants me to tell you what happened. Then she'll come down and talk. She promised."

When I get to my room I throw myself on my bed and cry into my pillow, but that hurts my lip so I turn on my side.

"Is she ok?" Adam asks.

"She will be, but right now she wants me to tell you what happened."

Adam says, "this is so frustrating!" I can just see him throwing his arms up in the air while he says that. "Why won't she talk to us?!"

"I don't know," Brian says. "Why don't you sit down and I'll tell you what she told me."

Everyone's quiet for a little while so I think Adam and Brian are sitting down.

"She made a flowerpot for Hannah," Brian says.

Guthrie says, "I saw a lot of kids from her class carrying flowerpots."

"That must've been the Mother's Day present her class made," Crane says.

"They were all decorated with markers," Guthrie says. "And they had flowers planted in them. I didn't see Heidi carrying one."

"Gary knocked it out of her hands," Brian tells them.

"Oh no," Hannah says.

"Man I hate that kid!" Adam says.

"Why is he so mean to her all the time?" Daniel asks.

"I don't know," Adam says. He sounds tired when he says that.

Guthrie says, "I punched him to stop him from beating up Heidi, and then we ran to the bus."

"Why didn't you tell us Guthrie? Why'd you make up that story about her falling?" Adam asks.

"I didn't want her to get in trouble," he says. "She wouldn't tell me what happened."

Everyone's quiet for a little bit and then Adam says, "I wish you would've told us." Then he says, "Daniel, why don't you Guthrie, Evan and Ford go outside and do your chores. Do Heidi's too."

"What about the family meeting?" Ford asks.

"Right now the four of us are going to have a family meeting."

I'm assuming he means him, Hannah, Brian and Crane. The front door opens so I know the others are going outside. When it closes Hannah asks, "what are you thinking?"

I think she's asking Adam that but Brian answers instead. "I'm thinking I want to punch the living day lights out of that kid!"

"I know," Adam says. "But we can't do that."

"When I go into town tonight I'm going to find Gary's dad and punch the living day lights out of him!"

"Brian!" Adam yells.

"What?! Are you telling me you don't want to do that?!" Brian yells.

"Of course I do! But _I'm_ not going to do it! _You_, on the other hand, will! And that's not going to help anyone!"

"It'll help me," Brian says.

"Brian stop talking about beating people up! We need to talk about Heidi. What'd she say to you?"

"She said he knocked her flowerpot out of her hands. She told me she made it for Hannah and then she said he ruined it. Then she said she shouldn't have made it."

"Why'd she say that?" Crane asks.

"I don't know. That's just what she said," Brian's tells them.

"Hmmm," Hannah says.

She's quiet then and Adam says, "what? What are you thinking?"

"Well, if she didn't make the flowerpot, none of this would've happened. He wouldn't have knocked it out of her hand, she wouldn't have gotten angry and punched him, and she would be going to the rodeo this weekend."

"So you think she's upset about not being able to go to the rodeo?" Crane asks.

"I think it's more than that," Hannah says. Everyone's quiet so I guess they're thinking.

"Do you think she felt mad about making it because she made it for you Hannah?" Crane asks.

"Maybe," she says. "She didn't want to make the flowerpot yesterday, but today she made one."

"Jeez," Adam says, "she must've wanted to make you one, so when she finally does, Gary ruins it. It sounds like she thinks the fight happened because she made something for you, and not because Gary's a mean kid."

"Yeah," Crane says. "She should be mad at him, not at herself for making something for someone she loves."

Hannah says, "but she's struggling with her feelings for me right now. It was probably hard for her to make the flowerpot for me, but she was probably happy about making it. Then Gary comes along and ruins it, so she must've thought it was wrong for her to make it in the first place."

Everyone's quiet now and I don't blame them. I have no clue what Hannah's talking about.

"That poor kid," Brian says.

"We need to talk to her," Crane says.

"I agree, but what do I do about the fighting?" Adam asks. "I took the rodeo away from her."

"That's easy," Brian says. "You let her go to the rodeo."

"Brian, I'm trying to teach her fighting is wrong," Adam says.

"But this is different," Crane says. "Heidi's going through a hard time right now, and Gary made it harder for her. She did the only thing she could think of."

"But that's the problem. I want her to think about doing something different instead of fighting," Adam says.

"That kid deserved getting punched and you know it Adam!" Brian says.

"But I took the rodeo away from her for fighting Brian! Now what do I do? Let her go to the rodeo because we think Gary deserved to be punched?!"

"Yes!" Brian yells.

Hannah says, "yelling at each other isn't going to help anyone right now. Adam, I think you need to let Heidi go to the rodeo...,"

"Thank you!" Brian says.

"Won't that tell her I think punching Gary was ok?!"

"Let me finish," Hannah says. "I think we need to talk to Heidi. There's other ways of letting her know you think punching Gary wasn't ok."

"Like what?!" Adam yells.

"Calm down Adam," Hannah says. "We'll think of something. You don't have to do this alone. The three of you have been raising Heidi together for a long time, and now there's four of us."

Adam sounds calmer when he says, "you're right. Let's get Heidi down here and talk to her."

"I'll go get her," Brian says.

I sit up on my bed and wait for Brian. I can hear him walking to the stairs and Adam says, "why won't she talk to us?"

"I don't know," Hannah says.

When Brian gets to my doorway he says, "come downstairs. It's time to talk to us."

I get off my bed and follow Brian downstairs. Brian sits down on the couch and I sit in the big comfy chair.

"I heard what happened," Adam says. "I'm sorry Gary ruined your flowerpot."

That makes me cry. "I shouldn't have made it."

"Why?" Adam asks. "Why do you keep saying that?"

"Because none of this would've happened."

"What? What wouldn't have happened?" He asks.

"All of _this_," I say quietly.

"All of _what_?" Crane asks.

"I don't know!" I feel sad and mad, all at the same time.

Hannah asks, "why did you make the flowerpot?"

That's easy to answer. "I made it for you," I cry. "I _wanted_ to make it for you. I colored little flowers all over the pot and Ms. Wilson helped me plant a flower in it. It was a really pretty, pink flower," I cry. "You would've liked it a lot!"

Hannah gets up and comes over to me. I let her pull me up and she sits down in the chair and puts me on her lap. "I bet I would've liked it. No wait, I bet I would've loved it."

"And that's not all," I say and I look up at her, "I made you a card too."

"Oh." She hugs me close to her and I cry into her chest. "What happened to it?" She asks.

"It got ruined! When Gary knocked the flowerpot out of my hands the card fell on the ground too!" I move away from Hannah so I can look at her. "Hannah, the flowerpot broke and the dirt and the flower fell out. Then Gary smashed the flower into the ground and smashed the flowerpot into little pieces." I lean against her again and cry.

"That kid is so mean!" Crane says.

"If he was my kid, I'd..," Brian starts to say, but Adam interrupts him.

"Brian, we don't need to know what you'd do if he were your kid."

"I swear Adam, if he was my kid I'd kick him into next week!" Brian yells.

"Well, he's not your kid, and you know he comes from a dysfunctional home, and...," Adam starts to say.

"That shouldn't matter!" Brian yells.

"Let me finish, Brian!" Adam yells. Then he calms down and says, "I was going to say, we can't think about Gary right now, we need to think about Heidi, and how we're going to help _her_."

"Yeah," Crane says, "let's talk about Heidi right now."

Hannah says, "Heidi, thank you for making me a flowerpot."

"I was gonna show it to you today when I got home from school! Hannah I wanted to make it for you. I'm sorry I said those mean things to you. I don't know why I said them, and today I really wanted to make a Mother's Day present for you!"

"I know," she says softly. "I can tell. I'm sorry it got ruined."

"Me too! I made the card for you too! I wrote Happy Mother's Day on it! I asked my teacher if it was ok to write that and she said it was ok if I thought it was ok. She said you'd be happy if I wrote that and she said you'd be happy if I wrote something else instead of that!"

"She's right," Hannah says. "I would've loved whatever you decided to write."

"I wrote Happy Mother's Day, and I wanted to write that! It felt right!" I cry.

She hugs me tightly and kisses the top of my head.

"Hannah, I don't know if you're my mom or not."

"I know," she says.

"I don't want to hurt your feelings," I tell her.

"I know. Heidi, I'm not trying to be your Mom. Do you understand that?"

I look at her and shake my head no.

"I love you Heidi. I love taking care of you and I'm taking care of you like a mom would. But, if you don't think of me as your mom, that's ok. You don't have to. That's not why I take care of you. I take care of you because I love you."

"Heidi," Crane says, "Hannah _is_ taking care of you like Mom would have. Mom would've loved how Hannah takes care of you."

"She would've?"

"Yes," Adam says. "Heidi, Mom loved you and I know she would be happy that someone like Hannah is here for you now and loves you like she would."

"But she died. Doesn't that mean I'm not supposed to have a mom?" I ask.

"Dad died too. Does that mean your not supposed to have a dad?" Crane asks me.

I think about that. Adam always says he takes care of me like Dad would've. Adam _is_ my dad. I shake my head and say, "no."

"Right. If you had an older sister and she took care of you like I did, _she'd_ be your mom," Adam says.

"What?"

Hannah says, "I love you Heidi, and I'm going to take care of you just like I would take care of my own child. My own daughter. Do you understand that?"

"Yes."

"That doesn't mean you have to call me Mom, or think of me as your mom. That's just how _I'm_ going to take care of you. In fact, I'm going to take care of you right now. That fat lip is bothering me and I'm going to get you some ice for it." She scoots me off of her and gets up and goes into the kitchen. I watch her leave and when she comes back she has some ice wrapped up in a towel. She hands it to me and sits back down in the chair and pulls me back onto her lap.

"Thank you," I tell her.

"You're welcome," she says and she smiles at me.

I hold the towel up to my lip and lean against her. She smooths my hair back with her hand and it feels nice.

"Heidi, yesterday you complained about all of us telling you what to do," Adam says. "Do you remember that?"

I nod my head.

"Do you remember the talk you and I had yesterday? The talk about _why_ we tell you what to do?" He asks.

I nod my head again. I remember that talk. Everything was fine after that until after dinner when Hannah told me to redo my homework.

"What did I say about that?" He asks.

"You said you guys tell me what to do because you love me and want to keep me safe," I tell him.

"That's right. That's never going to change. We're the adults and you're the kid. You have to do what we say whether you want to our not. You know that, it's been that way for as long as you can remember, right?"

"Yes."

"Now that Hannah's here you need to obey her too. She's an adult and you have to do what she says to do. If you don't like that, too bad. That's the way it is. Do you understand me?"

"Yes."

"Do you understand why she tells you what to do?"

"Yes. It's the same reason you do. But I don't understand how redoing my homework is loving me or how it's gonna hurt me if I don't do it," I tell him.

"Let's think about that then. What would've happened if she didn't make you redo your homework?" Adam asks.

"I would've been done with it."

Brian laughs a little bit and I see Crane jab him in his side with his elbow.

"Think some more," Adam says.

"I would've gotten an F?" I ask while I shrug my shoulders. I guess that's the right answer.

Adam sighs and says, "Heidi, who gets hurt if you don't do your homework?"

"My teacher?" I hope that's right.

"No, _you_ do," Adam says.

"How?"

"If you're not doing your homework, you're not learning anything." I stare at him. I want to say, 'that's fine with me,' but something tells me he wouldn't like that. "I know you don't care about that right now, but you will later if you ever want to get a job." He keeps talking but I stop listening, not because I don't like what he's saying, but because I'm thinking about what kind of job I'm gonna have when I'm older. I want to work on the rodeo circuit. That will be fun. I wonder why I have to learn stuff in school to be a cowgirl? Maybe...

"Heidi," Hannah says quietly. I look up at her. "Adam asked you a question."

I look over at Adam. Of course he asked me a question. He always does that when I'm not listening. I look over at him.

"You're not listening are you?" He asks.

"I tried to, but when you started talking about jobs all I could think about was being a cowgirl on the rodeo circuit."

"Speaking of the rodeo," Brian says, "don't you have something to tell Heidi, Adam?"

Adam glares at Brian and then he looks at me. "Heidi, I'm going to let you go to the rodeo this weekend."

That makes me happy. "Thank you!" I set the towel with the ice in it on Hannah's lap and get up and run over to Adam. I hug him and say, "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Adam says, "not so fast. Look at me Heidi."

I take a step back so I can look at him.

"I want you to know I don't like you fighting _at all_. Even if the person you punch deserves it. You're still hurting someone, and I want you to solve your problems differently by," he pauses, "by doing what?" He asks me.

"Umm," I know I know the answer to that question but it's hard to remember. "Umm, getting away from the person I want to fight?"

"Yes, and what else?"

"Umm," I know there's another thing I'm supposed to do instead of fighting but what is it? I sigh and say, "umm..."

Adam says, "tell ..." He looks at me.

"Tell an adult! A teacher or the yard duty!"

"Right," he says.

"I'm sorry I punched Gary. I tried to walk away from him, but he kept getting in my way. If I wasn't holding the flowerpot I would've run to my bus. When he knocked it out of my hand I was so mad! I was sad at first, and I cried, but then I got mad and punched him. I'm sorry."

He hugs me and says, "I know you are. I'm sorry that kid is so mean to you." He stops hugging me and says, "Heidi, look at me. You have _got_ to talk to us. When something's bothering you, tell us. You don't have to keep all those feelings inside. Ok?"

I nod my head and say, "sorry."

"You can talk to any of us," he says.

Crane says, "yeah, you can always talk to me."

Brian says, "same here."

Hannah says, "Heidi, you can always talk to me too."

I nod my head at each of them and Adam says, "you can talk to your other brothers too. Please talk to us."

"Ok."

"Why don't you go outside and see if your brothers need help finishing your chores," he says.

I nod my head and walk to the front door, and Crane stands up and says, "I'll be back."

"Where are you going?" I ask him.

"I'm going to pick Isabella up and bring her back here for dinner," he says.

"And then you're going to the movies," I tell him.

"How'd you know that?"

"She told me." I look up at him and smile real big.

Crane smiles and picks me up under my armpits and says, "she did, did she?" Then he swings me around until I laugh and then he puts me down.

"The pot roast should be done by the time you get back," Hannah tells Crane.

Crane and I walk outside together and then we race to the truck. He lets me win and I say goodbye and wave to him as he climbs in the truck and drives away. I run to the barn to see what Guthrie and the others are doing.

* * *

When I walk inside the barn I don't see anyone. I wonder where everyone is. Then I hear Guthrie whisper, "Heidi, up here."

I look up to the loft and Guthrie is standing at the top of the ladder looking down at me. He puts his finger to his lips to tell me to be quiet and he motions to me with his hand for me to come up. I climb up the ladder quietly and when I get to the top I whisper, " what are you doing?"

"Sh," he says, "come over to the window." I follow him and we both sit down on a hay bale that's close to the window.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"Sh, listen," he says and he points to the window.

I scoot closer and lean over to look down at the ground below us and Guthrie pulls me back. I saw Daniel, Evan and Ford below us. I don't think they're doing their chores. It looks like they're standing around talking."

Evan asks, "are you sure Frank heard that right?"

"Yes," Daniel says. "I asked him a few times. He said he heard it from Susan."

"How do you know she's telling the truth?" Ford asks.

"Why would she lie about something like that?" Daniel asks.

I look at Guthrie and whisper, "what are they talking about?"

"Sh," he says. "Listen."

"He said, she said, Tanya was definitely trying to play it," Daniel says.

I have no clue what they're talking about. I wish I could ask them.

"But isn't that the same thing as stealing the song?" Ford asks.

"Yes. I gotta tell you, the band isn't too happy about it either," Daniel says.

"I thought Tanya and her band were ditching the rodeo and going back to LA," Evan says.

"Now that they don't have my song, they're staying. But Susan said Tanya's been working hard on _her_ new song and their band will be ready to play it either tomorrow or Sunday."

"What's he talking about?" I whisper to Guthrie.

"Daniel's song," he says. "Tanya is trying to copy it."

"Can she do that?"

Guthrie shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. I don't think so, and Daniel's really mad about it."

I listen again.

"How does Susan know it's your song?" Evan asks.

"Because she was at our practice last week and I was working on it. She liked it a lot, she said the chorus was really good. Susan was with Tanya's band last night and she heard Tanya singing the exact same chorus. Susan said Tanya was working on it with the band."

"Did Susan say anything?" Evan asks.

"Yeah. She told Tanya that the song sounded like mine," Daniel says.

"What'd Tanya say about that?" Ford asks.

"Susan said Tanya picked up her music and said it wasn't my song. She told Susan it was a new song she was working on."

"What are you gonna do Daniel?" Evan asks.

"I don't know!"

"We gotta do something!" Evan and Ford both say at the same time.

"I know! The band wants to fight them for the song," Daniel says.

"How do you do that? There's no way you can get the song back that way!" Ford says.

"I know, but we're all mad. Susan said Tanya's manager is coming up from LA to hear her _new_ song," Daniel says. "I don't know what to do."

"What if you played your song before her band does?" Ford asks.

"I don't know Ford. I don't think anything's going to work. Tanya has it. She has my song and that's it. There's nothing I can do about it. Come on, let's get these chores done, I have to get to practice."

Daniel, Evan and Ford walk away and I look at Guthrie. "Daniel seems so sad."

"I know," Guthrie says. "I wish there was some way we could help him."

"I'm sorry I gave Tanya his song. Daniel's gonna hate me forever!"

"Heidi, you know that's not true. Help me think."

"Think about what?" I ask.

"How we can help Daniel!"

"Oh, ok." I sit quietly for a minute and then I say, "we could help his band beat up Tanya's."

"Heidi, we can't do that," Guthrie says. Then he says, "what if...," and then he's quiet.

"What if, what?" I ask.

"Well, what if we could get Tanya's manager to hear Daniel sing his song before Tanya sings it?"

"How are we gonna do that?"

"I don't know, but I bet we could think of a plan," Guthrie says.

"Our plans never work, remember?"

"_Your_ plans never work," he says.

"Yours don't either," I say.

"Maybe this time it will. Sometime we have to come up with a plan that works, and maybe this could be the one!" Guthrie says. He sounds really excited.

I guess he has a point. Our plans have to work _sometime_, don't they?

"Come on Heidi! Let's finish our chores. Maybe we can think of a plan before dinner!" He gets up and hurries over to the ladder and climbs down really fast. I do the same. This is gonna be fun! Finally we'll think up a plan that will work! And we'll get to help Daniel. He's gonna be so happy!


	9. Chapter 9

When we're finished with our chores, Guthrie and I sit on top of the fence by the barn.

"Guthrie, why doesn't Daniel just tell Adam or Brian or Crane about Tanya? Why doesn't he tell them she's still trying to steal his song? They could help him."

"I don't know. Why didn't you tell them Gary broke your flowerpot so they could help you?"

I have to think about that. "I don't know."

"Well, I guess Daniel doesn't think they can help him," Guthrie says. That's why 'we' have to help him."

"Ok." I think about how to do that. "We could take his music and show it to Tanya's manager."

"Maybe. I think he would miss it though. Especially if he's still working on it."

"We could find Tanya's manager and make sure he hears Daniel sing his song first."

"That's what I want to do, I just don't know how to do it," Guthrie says. He sounds frustrated. "I don't know how to find out 'who' the manager is."

"That's easy," I tell him. "He'll be the man that's sitting at a table all by himself listening to Tanya's band play. He won't be dancing or talking to anyone, he'll just be staring at the stage and listening."

"Heidi, there's lots of people that listen to the band play and don't dance."

"All by themselves?" I ask.

"Yes!"

"Oh." I think some more. "We could ask Tanya who her manager is."

"She's not gonna tell us that!"

"Why not?"

"Because she knows Daniel is mad at her for stealing his song. Come on Heidi, think of something better than that."

"Well at least I'm coming up with ideas! You haven't thought of anything yet."

Ford comes out of the barn and walks over to us. "Whatcha guys doing?" He asks as he climbs up the fence and sits next to Guthrie.

"We're thinking," I tell him.

"About what?"

"We're trying to think of...," I say, but Guthrie jabs me in my side with his elbow and says, "we're thinking about what we're going to do tonight."

"Aren't you going to be watching tv?" He asks. "It's Friday night and your favorite show is on."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Guthrie says. "I forgot."

"Yeah right," Ford says. "What are you guys really thinking about?"

"We're trying to come up with a...," I don't get to finish my sentence because Guthrie interrupts me again. "What are you gonna do tonight?" He asks Ford and then he turns to look at me and glares.

"I'm staying home," he says.

"Really?!" I ask. I love it when my brothers stay home on Friday nights. Lots of times they go into town and then it's just Guthrie, Adam and Hannah at home. It's too quiet when it's just the four of us.

"Yep, I'm staying home tonight. So, what are you really trying to think of, because I know you're not thinking about what you're gonna do tonight."

I get a great idea. "Hey Ford, will you go swimming at the pond with us after dinner?!"

"After dinner? I think it'll be too cold."

"No it won't."

"Heidi, it'll be cold. The sun will be low. I'll do something else with you though," he says.

"Will you play a game with us after dinner?" Guthrie asks.

"Ok. I bet Evan will want to play too," Ford says.

"Evan's staying home too?!" I ask. "How come you guys are staying home tonight?"

"We don't want to be worn out for the parade and rodeo tomorrow."

I hear a car so I look over and see the truck driving up to the house. "They're here!" I yell and I jump down from the fence. "Crane and Isabella are here!"

I run over to the truck and give Ms. Trent a hug. At school we're supposed to call her Ms. Trent, but when she comes over we can call her by her first name.

"Hi Heidi," she says as she hugs me back. "What happened to your lip?"

"Nothing. What movie are you going to see?" I ask. I run over to Crane and he picks me up.

"I don't know. That depends on what's playing in Angels Camp," he says. The movie theatre in Angeles Camp is small. It only shows three movies. The theatre in Sonora shows four or five. Denise said she's been to a movie theatre that shows eight movies. She said theaters are way bigger in the valley.

Crane says, "I don't even know what's playing. But that doesn't really matter, does it?" He looks at Isabella when he says that. She smiles at him and her cheeks turn pink.

I whisper in Crane's ear. "Are you gonna kiss her?"

He laughs and says, "wouldn't you like to know!" He leans me back so it feels like he's going to drop me and I laugh and yell for him to stop. He puts me down and I run to the house to tell Hannah they're here.

* * *

Ms. Trent sits down at my end of the table in between me and Crane. Everyone is excited to have company for dinner, and we all try to use our best manners. I think Hannah likes having another girl her age to talk to, because they talk a lot. But when it's time for dessert Crane says they have to leave.

Guthrie says, "you can't leave yet! You have to stay dessert."

"Yeah, why do you have to leave now?" I look up at Ms. Trent and give her a sad face so she makes a sad face back.

"We have to leave now if we want to make it to the movie on time," Crane says. He stands up and Isabella does too.

"You don't even know what movie is playing," I remind him.

Crane smiles at me and says, "that's why we need to leave now. We don't want to miss it."

Everyone stands up to say goodbye to Isabella and she thanks Hannah for dinner. I follow them out to the living room and say goodbye to her there.

"Have fun," I tell them.

"We will she says." She leans down and gives me a hug. "I'll see you on Monday," she says.

I smile and watch her and Crane walk out the front door. He takes her hand as they walk down the porch steps and when they get to the bottom he yells, "I'll race you to the truck!"

"You're on!" She yells and they both run to the truck. They're both laughing and Isabella beats Crane. I bet he let her win. They stop by the passenger side door to catch their breath and then Crane kisses her. Right on the lips! She smiles at him afterwards and he opens the door for her to get in. Then he runs around the truck to the driver's side and gets in. They look so happy. I wonder if they'll get married.

"Whatcha looking at?" Daniel asks. He reaches for the keys to the jeep that are hanging on the wall by the front door.

"Nothing," I tell him. "Are you going to practice with your band?"

"Yes." He's got his guitar with him and he walks by me and out the door.

"Daniel, when is your band playing tomorrow?"

He turns around and says, "our set starts at six."

"Why so early?" I ask. Usually they play later at night.

"We're not the main attraction," he says. "There are two bands playing after us. One from Sonora and then Tanya's band is playing last."

"So you play before her band?"

"Yeah, why?"

"No reason." I smile as I watch him walk away. That's perfect! Now we just have to find out who Tanya's manager is and make sure he hears Daniel's band play first. I can't wait to tell Guthrie! I close the front door and run back to the kitchen.

* * *

"Guess what?!" I yell as I run into the kitchen.

"What?" Everyone looks at me as I run to my place at the table. I stand instead of sitting and pick up my brownie Hannah put on my plate.

"Daniel's band is playing first!" I yell excitedly.

"So," Evan says.

"Why are you so excited about that?" Ford asks.

"He gets to sing before Tanya's band plays!" I yell and I take a bite of my brownie.

"So," Brian says.

Guthrie glares at me and says, "why are you so excited about that?"

"You know why," I tell him. I'm so happy and I say, "if his band plays..," that's all I say because Guthrie kicks me under the table. "Ow! Why'd you do that?"

"Because," Guthrie says. He glares at me.

"Yeah, why'd you kick her Guthrie?" Brian asks.

"It was an accident."

"You had to reach under the table pretty far with your foot to kick her since she's standing up," Brian says. "I don't think that's an accident."

"Why are you so excited about Daniel's band playing first, Heidi?" Adam asks.

I look at Guthrie and I can tell by the look on his face that he doesn't want me to talk. I sigh and say, "I don't know. I guess it's not so exciting after all." I sit down and eat my brownie while I stare at Guthrie.

Adam stands up and says, "that was a good dinner Hannah."

All of us agree and Hannah says, "thank you. Now who's going to wash the dishes?"

Everybody says, "not me."

Brian says, "why don't Evan, Ford, Guthrie and Heidi do them while the three of us talk about how we're gonna pay for the new pump."

The four of us groan and I say, "why don't the three of you talk about how to pay for the new pump while you're washing the dishes?"

Guthrie laughs and says, "yeah, I think that's a great idea!" I smile at him and he smiles back.

"I don't like that idea," Brian says.

"Well, I don't like your idea," I tell him. "Guthrie and I have very important stuff to talk about and we can't do that while we're washing the dishes." I don't know why but everyone thinks that's funny. Everyone except for Guthrie.

"What important stuff?" Evan asks.

"Important stuff!" I tell him while I stand up and put my hands on my hips. Evan laughs when I do that so I crumple my napkin up and throw it at him. Then I laugh when it hits him in the face.

He picks it up and throws it back and I duck so he misses me.

Hannah stands up and says, "alright you two, stop goofing around before everyone starts throwing things." She smiles at us when she says that and Guthrie crumples his napkin up and throws it at me, only he misses and it hits Brian. Then Brian and Ford start throwing napkins too and it's like we're having a snowball fight with napkins instead of snowballs. Adam and Hannah are the only ones not throwing napkins and when I duck under the table I look at them and see them smiling at each other. They look really happy. Then Brian says, "no fair hiding under the table!" Since he's sitting near me he reaches down and pulls me out while I laugh and try to get away. He holds me up in front of him and says, "get her boys!" Everyone throws napkins at me until there aren't any left to throw. I laugh and try to get away but Brian holds me tight and then he tickles me under my arms until I can't take it anymore. I laugh and yell, "uncle!"

Brian puts me down and everyone's up now. Ford and Evan start clearing the table and Brian starts walking out of the kitchen.

"Come on Guthrie!" I yell and I start running around the table to leave the kitchen, but Adam grabs a hold of me when I run by him. I almost got by him, but he pulls me close to him so my back is against his stomach. He reaches down and lifts my chin up so I'm looking at him kind of upside down.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asks.

"I told you. Me and Guthrie have important stuff to talk about."

"'Guthrie and I'," he says to correct me. He never used to correct me until Hannah started doing it. It bugs me.

"That's what I said. 'Me and Guthrie.' Me and Guthrie have important stuff to talk about."

"You can talk about that after you do the dishes," he says.

"But our tv show is on then," I remind him. We always watch the Dukes of Hazard on Friday nights. I smile really big while I'm looking up at him. "So I think it would be a good idea for Evan and Ford to do the dishes."

He smiles down at me and says, "I've got an even better idea!"

I turn around and jump up and down and yell, "what?! What's a better idea?!"

He laughs and says, "calm down! You're so hyper! It's like you had soda for dinner!" I settle down a little and he says, "my idea is maybe you shouldn't wash the dishes."

"Yes!" I yell. "I like that idea!" I jump up and down again.

"Maybe, you should just go to bed now!" He smiles at me when he says that.

I stop jumping up and down and glare up at him. "I don't like your idea," I tell him and I fold my arms across my chest.

He keeps on smiling at me and says, "I think it's a great idea. So what would you rather do? Go to bed, or do the dishes?"

I turn around to look at him. "Neither. I don't like your ideas. In fact, I think 'you' should do the dishes instead of asking me to do them."

He laughs and says, "I'm not 'asking' you, I'm 'telling' you to do the dishes now." He spins me around and gives me a swat on my bottom that pushes me towards the sink. "Get busy," he says.

I turn around and say, "hey! What was that for?!" Then I put my hands on my hips and try to look at him like I'm mad, but I can't because I keep laughing.

"'That' was to get your attention," he says.

I stand as tall and as straight as I can and salute him. "Yes sir!" I yell while trying to keep a straight face.

Adam, Guthrie, Evan and Ford laugh so I do too. Then Adam says, "enough goofing around. The sooner you get the dishes done, the sooner you and Guthrie can go talk about the important stuff you have to talk about."

"Ok." I run over to the sink to help and Ford throws me a dish towel. As soon as Adam leaves the kitchen to go talk about money stuff with Brian and Hannah, Evan stops washing the dishes and looks at me and Guthrie. Then he says quietly, "ok you two, what important stuff do you have to talk about, and what does it have to do with Daniel's band playing first?"

Guthrie and I look at each other and don't say anything.

"Come on," Ford says quietly. "I know you're planning something. What does it have to do with Daniel's band?" Then Ford looks at me and says, "Daniel is still mad at you for giving Tanya his song."

I feel like crying when he says that. "I know," I say quietly.

"So you're not trying to come up with a plan that will make him happy because you made him mad," Evan says.

"No!" I yell and Guthrie covers my mouth and the three of them say, "sh!"

I move away from Guthrie and Ford says, "you guys are hiding something and we don't want you to make Daniel madder than he already is."

"Why's he mad?" Guthrie asks, even though we already know why.

"Never mind," Evan says. "What are you guys planning?"

"Nothing," Guthrie says.

Evan looks at me. "Come on Heidi, what are you planning? You know your plans never work."

I look at Guthrie and he shakes his head. That means don't talk. Ford says, "if you tell us what your plan is maybe we can help you with it."

I smile really big and say, "ok! We're trying to...," I start to say and Guthrie interrupts me.

"Heidi! Don't tell them!"

"But they could help us," I tell him.

"Ok," Guthrie says. "I guess maybe they can help us."

I look at Ford and Evan and say, "we're trying to come up with a plan to get Tanya's manager to hear Daniel sing the song he wrote, before Tanya sings it and pretends it her song."

"How do you know Tanya is pretending the song is hers?" Ford asks.

"We heard you guys talking about it. We were up in the loft listening to you," I tell them.

"You guys shouldn't eavesdrop," Evan says.

"We weren't. We just happened to be there when we heard you talking," I tell him.

Evan shakes his head at me like he doesn't understand me and then says, "ok, what's your plan?"

Guthrie says, "we haven't thought of it yet. We have to find out who Tanya's manager is."

"That's what we were thinking," Ford says.

"Isn't it good that Daniel's band is playing first?" I ask.

"Yes," Evan says. "That works in our favor." We're all quiet. I think Evan and Ford are thinking so Guthrie and I look at each other and shrug our shoulders.

"How can we find out who the manager is?" Ford asks.

When no one answers I say"we could ask Tanya."

"That'll never work," Ford says.

"Why not? She likes me," I remind them. "After all, I did give her Daniel's song."

Evan and Ford stare at me and Evan says, "that just might work."

"How?" Guthrie asks.

"Maybe if Heidi bugs Tanya enough about who her manager is, she'll tell her just to get her to shut up," Evan says.

"Yeah," Ford says. "That might work."

"What do you mean, 'bug her?'" I put my hands on my hips when I ask that because that makes me a little mad. "I don't bug people!"

The three of them laugh when I say that and that makes me madder. "Stop laughing at me!"

"Ok, sorry," Evan says. "I just meant if you kept asking Tanya questions about her manager, she'll just tell you who he is."

Hannah comes into the kitchen and says, "what's going on in here?" She looks at me and says, "why are you yelling?"

"I'm not."

"I just heard you yell," she says.

I shrug my shoulders.

"She wasn't really yelling," Guthrie says. "We were just talking about stuff and she got excited."

"Oh, ok. I just wanted to make sure everything was alright."

I smile at her and nod my head. When Hannah's gone I turn to look at Evan and Ford and put my hands back on my hips. "I don't bug people!" I say that loud enough for them to hear but quiet enough so no one in the living room can hear me.

"Sorry," Evan says. "When we get to the fairgrounds tomorrow, the four of us will look for Tanya. When we find her, you'll go ask her where her manager is. Ok?"

"Ok."

"Heidi, you're a big part of this plan if it's going to work," Evan says. "You're perfect for the job, ok? I didn't mean to make you mad."

"Ok." We get back to washing and drying the dishes and Guthrie starts to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Ford asks.

"I bet Heidi could go in the living room right now and bug everyone in there in one minute!" He thinks that's funny so he can't stop laughing.

"I bet it would take her less than a minute!" Evan says.

They laugh and that gives me an idea. "Do you want to bet? I bet it would take me three minutes to bug everyone in there. If I win, I don't have to do the dishes."

"And if you lose?" Ford asks.

"I don't know, you guys think of something. I just don't want to do the dishes," I tell them.

"Ok, here's what we do," Evan says, "whoever guesses the closest time it takes for Heidi to get sent out of the living room, doesn't have to do the dishes anymore."

"Yeah!" Guthrie says. "I bet it takes one minute!"

"I bet five," Ford says.

"I bet it takes four minutes," Evan says.

"Ok, it's a bet, as long as I don't get in trouble, like sent to my room or have to go to bed early. If that happens, you guys have to say it was a game."

"Deal!" Guthrie says.

We all four shake on it and I walk into the living room.

* * *

Adam and Hannah are sitting on one couch and Brian is sitting on the other one. They're talking about something when I walk in the room and they stop talking when they see me walk in.

"Are you guys done with the dishes so soon?" Hannah asks.

"No, they told me I didn't have to help them anymore." I sit down on the couch next to Brian and put my feet up on the coffee table.

"Why'd they say that?" Brian asks me.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know."

Brian looks at me like he doesn't believe me and I hear him say quietly, "yeah right."

I smile. "I don't. They just told me I could go. So, what are you guys talking about?" I have to be careful not to bug them too soon, or I'll lose the bet.

"Money," Brian says.

"Ok," I say, "what about it? Do we have any?" I already know the answer to that. It's usually no.

Adam says, "Heidi, if you want to stay out here you need to be quiet."

"Ok." I smile at him and pretend to zip my lips with my fingers. I hear Guthrie laughing in the kitchen.

"Ok, where were we?" Brian asks.

"We were talking about how many extra shifts I might need to take to help pay for the new pump," Hannah says.

Oh, this is perfect! Adam doesn't really like it when Hannah works. Especially when it's extra shifts, or worse, the dinner shift. "Maybe you should work the dinner shift!" I suggest.

Adam glares at me a little and Hannah says, "well, I suppose I could take one dinner shift." Now Adam is glaring at Hannah a little bit.

"Honey, I don't think you need to do that," he says.

"Sure she does," I say. "You should take the dinner shift every night next week! Then we'd have lots of money!" Hannah looks like she's thinking about that so I say, "just think of all the things we could buy!"

Hannah says, "I guess I could work a few night next week."

"What?!" Adam says loudly.

"Perfect!" I say. "Maybe you could even work on the weekends!"

Adam looks at me and says, "would you be quiet!"

"Why?" I ask as I smile at him. "Am I _bugging_ you?"

I hear Evan, Ford and Guthrie laugh a little from the kitchen.

"You're kind of bugging me," Brian says.

Then I ask, "do you guys think I've been in here for one minute, two minutes, three or five minutes?"

"I don't know," Brian says. "It seems like you've been in here for an hour. Don't you have something else to do?"

"Nope."

Brian sighs and says, "try to be quiet now. We've got important stuff to talk about."

"Ok, I won't talk at all." As soon as they start talking I start tapping my feet on the coffee table. I do it quietly at first and then I tap louder and louder and louder until Brian puts his hand on one of my legs to hold it down and yells, "will you stop doing that?!"

I look at him and smile. "What?" I ask.

He glares at me and says, "why don't you go sit somewhere else."

"Where?" I ask.

"Anywhere but here!"

"Ok." I get up and go to the other couch where Adam and Hannah are sitting. I look at them and try to squeeze in between them. "Excuse me," I say as I wiggle my way in.

"Heidi, there's plenty of room on either side of us," Adam says. "Why do you have to sit right here?"

I look up at him and make my face look sad. "Don't you want me to sit next to you?"

He looks at me kind of funny and then sighs and says, "just sit here quietly."

I smile at him and say, "ok." Adam is holding one of 'the books' in his hands and he has it opened to a page. When he starts talking about money again I point to a number on the page and ask, "what does that mean." When he ignores me I talk louder. "Adam, why is that number red and why does it have a minus sign before it?"

"Be quiet," he says.

But now I really want to know why it's like that. "Do you know why Hannah?"

"Heidi, you're bugging us," she says. "Please be quiet."

I sigh. "How long have I been out here?" I ask her. "Do you think I've been here for three minutes?"

"I don't know maybe," she says and then she tries to listen to Brian.

"I think I've been out here for almost three minutes," I say loudly. Adam slams 'the book' closed and yells, "what do you want?! You want to know how long you've been out here?! Too long! Go back into the kitchen and help your brothers with the dishes!"

I hear some groans from the kitchen. I hope I won the bet! I smile and get up. "Ok, I'll go."

I don't get very far when Brian says, "wait a minute." I look over at him and he says, "why did they send you out here?"

"I guess because I was bugging them. Did I bug you guys?"

"Yes!" Adam and Brian says.

"Do you think I was out here for three minutes? Or do you think it was longer? I'm pretty sure I was here for more than two minutes."

"I think you've been out here for three minutes," Hannah says.

"Yes!" I yell and I jump up in down. "I won!"

"Won what?" Brian asks.

"The bet! I said it would take me three minutes to bug you guys until you would kick me out. Guthrie said one, Ford said five and I forgot what Evan said. I won! I don't have to do the dishes now!"

Guthrie comes out from the kitchen and says, "actually, Evan won. You've been out here for four minutes."

"Aw man! Are you sure?" I put my hands on my hips. "It felt like three minutes to me."

"It felt like five to me," Hannah says.

"I don't care how many minutes you've been out here," Adam says, "no one won the bet! You're all bugging us now. We've got important stuff to talk about and all four of you are doing the dishes, so quit fooling around and get it done."

Guthrie, Evan and Ford go back in the kitchen but I wait for a second and look at Adam.

"Go on, Heidi," he says. "Go help your brothers."

"But, can I ask one question? Please?"

"What?"

"Why are some of the numbers in 'the books' red? And why do they have minuses next to them?"

Adam rubs his forehead with his hand. "That's a question that takes too long for me to answer right now."

Hannah says, "Heidi, go help with the dishes now."

"Ok." I leave them alone to go help with the dishes, but I'm really curious about those red numbers in 'the books'.

* * *

After we finish the dishes Evan and Ford set up the tv in the living room. We don't get good reception on the Ranch so we don't have our TV set hooked up like most of my friends do. Our TV sits on the floor in the corner of the living room, and when we want to set it up we have to put it somewhere in the room and use an extension cord. Then someone has to move the antenna around. We're lucky the antenna is on top of the tv instead of on top of the roof. I wish our TV was in color, but it's not. Most of my friends have color TVs that are too big to move around the room.

Once the tv is set up the four of us sit on the couch to watch our favorite show. I don't know where Adam or Hannah is, and I think Brian is outside, so it's just the four of us. It's fun tonight because Evan and Ford are home to watch the show with us. Usually they're in town on Friday nights and it's just Hannah and Adam that watch with us. I love watching tv with as many people in my family as possible, and watching with Evan and Ford is always fun. They sing the theme song with us. Once the show gets started I groan. "Its a repeat!" I hate repeats.

"So," Guthrie says, "it's one we like, and Evan and Ford haven't seen it yet."

The three of them can watch it but I'm not going to. I'm gonna go find someone to do something with.

* * *

I find Adam and Hannah in the kitchen. They're both sitting at the table. Hannah is sewing a shirt and Adam is looking at the newspaper. Hannah looks up from her sewing. "How come you're not watching the show?" She asks.

"It's a repeat. Do you want to do something with me?"

"Sorry, I can't," she says. "I've got to finish sewing Daniel's shirt so it will be ready for tomorrow."

I sigh and sit down next to Adam. "Do you want to do something with me?" I ask him.

He looks over the newspaper at me. "Like what?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I'm bored."

"Well, when you think of something to do, let me know." He looks back down at the newspaper. I can tell he doesn't want to do anything. I'll go look for Brian. I think he's out on the porch.

* * *

I find Brian sitting in the rocking chair on the porch. He's rocking back and forth slowly while playing his harmonica. When he sees me, he stops playing.

"Hey twerp. Aren't you supposed to be watching your show right now?"

"It's a repeat," I tell him. He stops rocking so I stand next to the chair and rest my hand on the arm rest.

"Oh," he says.

"Brian what are you doing out here? How come you didn't go into town like you usually do?" I ask him.

"Because the parade is tomorrow and the rodeo starts right after it. It's going to be a busy day and a busy night," he says. "You should probably go to bed early tonight."

"No way! I am _not_ going to bed early!"

Brian laughs and picks me up so I'm sitting on his lap. He starts playing his harmonica again. It sounds like a sad song.

"Brian, why are you out here all by yourself?"

He stops playing and says, "I don't know. I guess I just felt like being alone."

"Do you want me to leave?" I hope he says no, because no one else wants to do anything with me.

"No, you can stay." He puts his harmonica down and rocks the chair back and forth a little bit. He's quiet which isn't like him.

"How come you're not talking Brian? What are you thinking about?"

He sighs and says, "not much."

"Yes you are. You're never this quiet. What are you thinking about? Are you sad about something, because you seem sad?"

"I'm just thinking about Mom. The Motherlode Round Up Rodeo was always her favorite rodeo. She loved the parade. We'd all pile in the truck early in the morning to drive to Sonora so she could get the perfect spot to see the parade."

"How come we're not doing that tomorrow?" I ask.

"What do you mean? We're leaving early."

"But how come we're not all going together? We've never done that before."

"I don't know. We're all older now I guess. Daniel goes with his band, Evan and Ford have friends to hang out with...," his voice trails off so I look up at him.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Nothing," he says quietly.

"Are you sad about Mom?"

He squeezes his arms around me a little tighter. "Yes."

"Why?"

"I just miss her. Especially this time of year."

"Did you make her Mother's Day presents at school too?"

"Sometimes."

"I wish Gary didn't ruin the flowerpot I made for Hannah," I tell him. I think about that for a while and I start to feel mad. "Brian? Did you mean it when you said you wanted to beat Gary up?"

He sighs and says, "I wish that kid would stop bugging you."

"Me too. Do you think I should've punched him?"

"I know I would've punched him if I was there and he wasn't a little kid. I think that kid got exactly what he deserved."

I think about that. "Did you mean it when you said you'd beat up his dad if you saw him in town?"

"I can't wait to see his dad. I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind when I see him."

"Does that mean you're gonna punch him?"

"I don't understand that family. Why do they think it's ok to pick on girls?"

I think that's one of those questions that you don't answer. "Brian?" When he doesn't answer me I can tell he's thinking hard about something. I wonder if he's thinking about Mom now, or Gary's family. "Brian? I'm so mad at Gary right now, I could just punch him!"

"You and me both kid," he says, "you and me both." I don't think he heard what I said though, because he says that really quietly, kind of like he's talking to someone else. He picks up his harmonica again and starts playing again so I move out of his way a little. It's hard to play with someone sitting on your lap. I lean back and stare out into the darkness while I listen to the sad song he's playing.

* * *

I keep seeing Gary knock my flowerpot out of my hands. I see his face laughing at me and then I see the flowerpot fall to the ground and break. Then I see his face again and the flowerpot fall again. Why does it keep falling? Why won't it stop? I open my eyes. I must've fallen asleep because when I open my eyes Brian is carrying me upstairs to my room.

I'm tired. "I don't want to go to bed," I mumble.

"It's bedtime," he says. He carries me into my room and puts me down on my bed. "Get ready for bed."

I groan and try to get up to change into pajamas, but I'm too tired so I flop back down on the bed. Brian takes my shoes off and throws them on the floor. "So much for not being tired," he says as he moves me under the covers and covers me up. "Goodnight." He kisses my forehead.

"Goodnight Brian." I close my eyes again and yawn while I say, "I'll beat up Gary, and you beat up his dad."

I hear Brian ask me what I said, but I'm too tired to say it again and I go back to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

I'm up early the next morning. I look at my clock. 5:15. I get out of bed quickly and run down the hall to the boys' room. "Wake up! Wake up! It's time to go to the parade!" I run into their room and yell, "get up!"

They groan and someone throws a pillow at me. "Get outta here!"

"Let us sleep!" Evan yells.

I leave their room and run down the hall to Adam and Hannah's room while yelling downstairs to Guthrie and Brian along the way. "Wake up Brian! Wake up Guthrie! Today's the parade!" I throw Adam's door open and run into the room and jump on the end of their bed. "Get up! Get up! Get up!" I yell while I jump up and down.

They groan and Adam says, "go back to bed! We don't have to be up for another hour."

"Come on! Get up!" I yell and I jump right up and in between them. "Get up!" I sit down on my knees and start shaking them.

Adam rolls over and hits me with his pillow. "You're acting like it's Christmas morning. Go back to bed."

"Aren't you gonna get up?"

I shake Hannah and she sits up a little and yawns. "Heidi, why don't you go back to bed for a little while."

"But today's the parade. We're gonna pick up Denise and go to Sonora."

"I know," Hannah says. "But we don't have to get up yet. I know you're excited, but it's still early, let everyone go back to sleep."

"Ok." I sigh and look at Adam and Hannah. Hannah lays back down and closes her eyes, and I think Adam is asleep again. "Do you want me to make coffee for everyone?" Maybe the smell of coffee will wake everyone up. I rest my hand on Hannah's arm. "Hannah, I know how to make coffee. I watch Brian make it all the time. Can I make it?" I shake her arm a little because she's not answering. But then she opens her eyes and says, "ask Adam." Then she closes her eyes again.

I sigh and look at Adam. I'm pretty sure he's asleep. "Adam?" I shake his arm a little. "Can I make coffee for you guys?" I whisper.

He moves a little. "What?"

"Can I make coffee?" He doesn't answer so I shake him a little. "Can I?"

"Ok whatever. Just go back to bed."

Well that doesn't make sense. But I guess he said I could make coffee. I climb over him to get off the bed. I run out of the room and down the stairs. I'm so excited! I've never gotten to make coffee all by myself before. I've watched Hannah make coffee before and my brothers make it. Sometimes they let me help, but this will be the first time I get to make it all by myself.

I run into the kitchen and up to the counter where we keep the coffee and the coffee maker. I open the container where the coffee goes and then I take the lid off the coffee can. I don't see the measuring cup inside the can. It's supposed to be in here. The can is half full so I feel around in it for the measuring cup. It's not here. I guess I'll have to guess how much to put in. I'll get a spoon.

I start spooning coffee into the coffee maker. This is gonna take forever to fill! I pick up the coffee can and pour it into the container. Some of it starts falling out of the little hole where the water comes out of. I don't think that's supposed to happen. I pour the coffee inside so the whole container is full and then I fill the coffee pot with water and pour it into the maker. The water doesn't fill it to the top so I decide to put more water in. My brothers drink a lot of coffee so I fill the pot again and pour it into the coffee maker until it reaches the top and won't overflow. There. I flip the switch to on and watch.

It starts to make noises so I know it's working and after a while coffee starts to drip out into the pot. I wonder why it looks a little bit gloppy? It's like the coffee grounds are coming out with the water. Oh well, I guess that's what it's supposed to do.

I get tired of watching the pot fill up so I think I'll make breakfast too. I can make pancakes. I know how to do that, so I get the ingredients out. The kitchen starts to smell like coffee and I love that smell. That smell reminds me of the smell of bacon. I know, I can make bacon with the pancakes. I've never made bacon by myself, but I've watched it being made a lot. I measure the ingredients for the pancakes and mix them all up in a bowl. Now I can get the bacon out and a frying pan.

We cook lots of bacon because we eat lots of bacon. We cook at least three pieces of bacon per person, so that means I should make about...hmmm...I don't know. I get the bacon out of the fridge and put it on the table. I open the package and start pulling pieces out. Three for Adam, three for Brian, I count out three pieces for each person in my family. There. That's a big pile of bacon. There's still a few pieces left in the package so I guess I'll just cook those too.

I bring the big pile of bacon over to the stove and start laying it in the frying pan. I have to squeeze as much of it in the pan as possible. It won't all fit, but that just means I'll have to make three or four batches of it. That's what my brothers do. I turn the burner on. Now I can heat the griddle up so I can make the pancakes. Mmm...the bacon and coffee smell good. The bacon is sizzling but I hate it when the bacon starts popping. Sometimes the grease hurts so I stand back from the stove and watch it cook. Am I supposed to turn it? I think so. I'll get a fork.

I get one out of the drawer and hold it in my hand while I slowly move it towards the frying pan, but the bacon is popping so much, I'm afraid to turn it. I'm pretty sure I need to turn it so I'm gonna have to do it. The grease starts popping onto the pancake griddle. It's popping really high now and I don't know what to do. Why is it popping so much and so high? There's a sizzling sound behind me so I turn around and look at the coffee pot. Coffee is running over the sides of the coffee pot and it's spilling onto the counter!

I run to the counter and look at the mess. What do I do? I turn back to the stove and watch the bacon grease popping up high and then I turn back to the coffee pot mess. Coffee keeps spilling out! "Brian!" I yell. "Brian!" I start to cry now. He has to hear me. He sleeps in the living room with Guthrie on most nights so he should be able to hear me. "Brian!" I yell really loudly.

"What!" I hear him yell from the living room.

"Help!" I can smell the bacon burning now. The coffee is starting to spill on the floor from the counter. "Help!" I scream.

"What!" Brian yells as he stumbles into the kitchen. He's wearing his thermal pajamas and he looks really tired. He rubs his eyes and says, "what?"

"Help!" I cry.

He opens his eyes and yells, "what happened?!" He runs to the stove and turns the burner off, then he runs to the coffee pot and grabs the handle. "Ow!" He yells and he pulls his hand back. Then he grabs the handle again and picks up the pot and dumps the coffee into the sink. He puts the pot back so the rest of the coffee can drip into it. He grabs a few dish towels and starts mopping up the coffee on the counter. Then he looks at me.

"What happened?"

I'm crying and I'm not sure what to say. "I don't know! I was trying to make breakfast and it didn't work!"

Brian walks over to me and gives me a big hug.

"Mmm, something smells good," Hannah says. I stop hugging Brian and look at her. "What's wrong Heidi? Why are you crying?"

"I tried to make breakfast!" I cry. I can tell she doesn't know why I'm crying because she's looking around and since Brian's cleaned up most of the mess, she doesn't see anything wrong. Adam walks into the kitchen. He's dressed and has his cowboy hat on. He comes up behind Hannah and puts his arms around her.

"Im going out to check on the herd. I just need some coffee first," he says. He looks at me and says, "what's wrong?"

"I tried to make breakfast!"

He looks around and then he follows Hannah to the stove and they look at the burnt bacon in the frying pan.

"What happened?" They both ask.

Brian walks over to the stove too and says, "Heidi cooked some bacon and made coffee."

They both look at the coffee pot now and I think they can see some of the mess that didn't get cleaned up yet.

"You made breakfast all by yourself?" Adam asks.

I can't tell if he's mad or not so I stare up at him and don't say a word. I'm not supposed to use the stove by myself. I wish I would've remembered that.

"What did you do?" He asks.

Brian says, "she had the burner on high and bacon grease was popping all over the place while the bacon burned. The coffee pot overflowed onto the counter.

"Oh no," Hannah says. She looks at the coffee pot and turns it off. Adam walks over to me and picks me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and cry.

"I'm sorry. I was so scared," I tell him.

"I bet you were." He carries me to where Hannah is. She's looking at the coffee pot still.

"Heidi," she says. "You filled the water too high if it spilled all over the counter." Then she explains who I should've measured the coffee, and I should've put a coffee filter in before I put in the coffee grounds. "Ok?" She asks. She smiles at me and I nod my head.

"I'm sorry. I thought I knew how to do it."

Brian says, "you had the burner turned on way too high for the bacon Heidi. That's how come the bacon burned and the grease popped up so high."

"I was scared of the grease," I tell him.

"I know. I'm glad you woke me up," he says.

Adam looks at me while he's holding me and says, "why did you make breakfast? You know you're not supposed to cook without someone watching you."

"You said I could make coffee..,"

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did. I asked you and...,"

"'When' did you ask me?" He asks.

"When you were in bed. When I came in to wake you up."

"Was I awake?"

I nod my head.

"What did I say?"

I stare at him because I'm not sure what I should say.

"Heidi?" He stares at me and I know he's waiting for an answer.

I sigh. "You said, 'ok whatever.'" Then I look down at the floor. "Then you said go back to bed."

Brian groans and Adam says, "does that sound like I said yes?" He lifts my chin up with his finger so I have to look at him. "Does it?" He asks again. I shake my head no. "Did you ask if you could make bacon?"

"No," I say very quietly.

"So you decided to make that on your own?" When I nod my head I look away from him and he turns my chin back so I have to look at him when he asks, "are you supposed to use the stove by yourself?"

"No."

Adam sighs and says, "then why are you using it?"

"I wanted to surprise you by making breakfast," I tell him and I start to cry again.

I hold on to him tightly while I cry on his shoulder and he says, "that was dangerous. It could've caused a fire. That's why I don't want you using it unless someone is watching you." He rubs my back and says, "I don't even want Guthrie using it by himself after what you two did with the popcorn a few months ago."

I remember that really well. Guthrie and I wanted to pop popcorn, but we didn't know how to pop it the right way. The popcorn started to burn in the pot and it caught on fire. Luckily Evan and Ford were home and put it out. Adam said Guthrie couldn't use the stove anymore without someone watching. I don't think Guthrie has ever wanted to use it after that. I know I don't ever want to cook something on the stove now. "I'm sorry," I tell Adam.

"I know. I'm glad you woke Brian up. Look at me Heidi."

I shake my head no.

"Look at me," he says again and he moves me so I have to. "Don't use the stove by yourself. Don't cook anything by yourself. Ok?"

"Ok," I say quietly.

He puts me down and says, "I've got to go outside now."

"I'll have a fresh pot of coffee made when you come in for breakfast," Hannah tells him. He gives her a kiss and walks out the back door. I feel really bad now. I stand by the kitchen table and watch Hannah make a new pot of coffee.

I watch Brian take the stool out of the corner in the kitchen and move it to the stove. I use the stool when I want to watch my brothers cook or when I want to help them cook. They used it when they were little to help our Mom cook. Brian motions for me to come over. "Come help me make the bacon."

I don't want to. I'm still scared from all the grease that was popping all over the place earlier.

"Come on," he says. "It'll be ok. I'm going to show you how to make it."

I shake my head no and stand by the table.

"You can watch from there then." Brian gets a new frying pan out and lays some bacon in it like I did. Then he shows me how to turn the burner on so the flame is low. "That'll keep the grease from popping so high." He looks over at me standing by the table and walks over to pick me up.

"I don't ever want to cook anything again," I tell him.

"You will. Just not for a while. Are you sure you don't want to help make the pancakes?"

I shake my head no and Hannah says, "why don't you go wake your brothers up and get dressed. We've got a busy day today."

I run into the living room to wake Guthrie up. I like waking Guthrie up when he sleeps down here. I climb on the bed and jump up and down.

"Get up Guthrie! It's time to get up!" I drop down to my knees and sit next to him. "Wake up!" I shake him and he opens his eyes. "The parade is today!" I yell.

Guthrie sits up fast and says, "I can't wait! I'm supposed to meet Kenny by the Candy Vault so we can watch the parade together."

"What do you mean? You're not watching it with us?"

"No. You're watching the parade with Denise aren't you?" He asks.

"Yes, but not by ourselves like you guys." I don't know why, but I feel a little sad he's not watching it with us. I guess I'd better go wake everybody else up, so I jump off the bed and run upstairs to the boys' room.

* * *

"It's time to wake up!" I yell when I run into the room. "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Daniel groans and sits up. "What time is it?" He looks at the clock and says, "oh my gosh! I'm gonna be late! Rick is gonna be here in less than an hour. I gotta take a shower." He climbs out of bed and runs out of the bedroom.

"Wait! Aren't you going to the parade with us?"

Daniel yells, "no! I've got to practice with the band. We've got to learn a new song before five o'clock." Then I hear the bathroom door shut.

"He's not gonna be with us either?" I ask quietly.

Crane sits up and says, "what's wrong squirt? You look a little sad."

I walk over to his bed and sit down on it. "It's time to get up," I tell him.

He grabs me and pulls me over him and onto the other side of his bed. He sleeps on the bottom bunk so I'm next to the wall. He starts to tickle me and I laugh and try to get away. "Stop!" I yell. He stops tickling me and turns onto his side to look at me while he props his elbow up on the bed and rests his head on his hand. "Crane? Are you watching the parade?"

"Yes."

"You are?!" That makes me smile.

"Yes. Isabella's coming over to pick me up and we're going together."

"Oh," I say sadly.

"What's wrong?"

"Are you going to watch the parade with us?"

"I don't think so. She wants me to meet her family. She has a few cousins that live in Sonora and they're going to be in the parade. Her family gets together and watches the parade together."

"Oh." Like our family used to. Crane gets up so I do too.

"Evan, Ford, it's time to get up." I don't feel like yelling anymore and I don't feel like making sure they're awake. I'm just gonna go get dressed and go downstairs to eat breakfast.

* * *

Breakfast doesn't taste that good today. Maybe it's because everyone is teasing me about burning the bacon and making bad coffee. Or maybe it's because I'm sad our whole family isn't watching the parade together. Oh well, at least it's just Daniel, Crane and Guthrie that aren't watching with us. That still leaves everyone else. I drink a sip of my orange juice and listen to everyone talk.

Guthrie's excited about watching the parade with his friend. It's his first time to do that by himself.

"Make sure you stay with Kenny and stay in the parade area," Adam reminds him.

"I know, I know. You've told me that a million times," he says.

Ford messes up Guthrie's hair and says, "he's gonna tell you that a million more times too."

Everyone laughs and Evan asks, "what time do you want to meet up to go to the fairgrounds?"

"Sometime this afternoon," Adam says. "Why don't we meet at the corner of Stockton and Washington."

"What do you mean 'meet up'?" I ask.

"We have to meet somewhere to drive over to the fairgrounds," Ford says.

"That sounds like you're not watching the parade with us," I say, but no one hears me. Adam tells Hannah he'll meet her at the fairgrounds. He's not watching the parade with us either?

"What's the matter?" Hannah asks me while everyone else gets up to clear the table.

"Who's watching the parade with us?" I ask her.

"We're watching the parade with Denise," she says.

"I know, but who else?"

"Just us," she says.

"What? Why?"

She doesn't get to answer me because Adam needs her. I sigh and get up to take my dishes to the sink. I guess I'm glad I get to see the parade with Denise since hardly anyone from my family is going to watch it with me. I'm gonna go wait outside on the porch until it's time to go.

* * *

Guthrie comes running out of the house. "Come on Heidi! Time to go!" He runs down the steps and out to the jeep. Why are we going in the jeep? We're not all gonna fit in that. Hannah comes outside with her purse and keys in her hand.

"Are you ready to go pick up Denise?" She asks. I follow her down the steps and over to the jeep.

"Who's going with us?" I ask.

"Just us. We're meeting everyone else later tonight."

"Tonight?"

"Yes, for dinner," she says.

"What?! Not until dinner?!"

"What's wrong?" Hannah asks.

"Nothing." I put my head down the rest of the way to the jeep and climb in back. The top is off the jeep since the weather has been so nice and I can see Adam and Brian walk out to the barn. Isabella's jeep pulls up just as we're leaving and I wave to her, but I don't smile. Not because I'm mad at her, just because I'm sad no one else in my family is coming with us.

Daniel already left with his band and I don't know who is picking up Evan and Ford. When we get out to the road, I stand up behind Hannah to talk to her.

"How come Adam and Brian aren't coming?" I yell to her.

She looks at me through the rear view mirror and says, "sit down Heidi."

"Why?"

"Because standing up while I'm driving is dangerous. Sit down please."

Guthrie looks back at me while I decide what I'm going to do. Sometimes my brothers let me stand up when they drive. But I guess that's only when they're driving slowly on our driveway. I guess I'd better sit down so I do. That means Hannah can't hear me talk so I can't ask her anymore questions. I'll just sit back and look out to the side of the road while drive into town and to Denise's house.

* * *

Once we pull up in front of Denise's house, I jump out of the jeep. Hannah gets out and we walk to the front door and I knock. Denise opens it and her Mom is standing behind her. We all say hi to each other and then Hannah talks to her Mom.

"We should be back around eleven o'clock."

"Ok. I've given Denise a little bit of money for lunch and dinner." Then her Mom asks Denise, "do you want Hannah to hold on to it?"

"No, I'll keep it." Denise takes some dollar bills out of her front jeans pocket and shows it to us. "I have ten dollars."

"Wow! That's a lot of money!" I say.

"Just remember, it's for food."

"I know mom," Denise says.

"Well, I guess we're ready to go," Hannah says.

"Wait!" I get a great idea. "Hannah? Can Denise spend the night tonight?"

Hannah looks down at me and says, "sure, I think that would be a great idea." She looks at Denise's Mom and says, "is that alright? Then you won't have to stay up late waiting for us to drop Denise off. We can bring her home tomorrow."

"That's fine with me."

Denise and I look at each other and hold hands and jump up and down while we scream and Hannah and Denise's mom laugh.

"Go pack a bag," Denise's mom says. "Heidi, why don't you go with her."

I run into the house and follow Denise to her room. Her very pink room. Denise gets an overnight bag out of her closet and starts to pack.

"I'm so glad you get to spend the night."

"Me too! We're gonna have so much fun," she says.

"Denise, I've had a bad morning so far."

She sits down on her bed next to me. I tell her about ruining breakfast and then about how none of my family is coming to the parade. "I guess some of them will be there, just not with us. I want everyone to see it together. I'm glad I have you to watch it with."

"Me too," she says. "We'll have fun. We don't need any of your brothers to have fun, we can do that all on our own! We just have to not let it get to us."

"Girls?" Denise's mom calls from the living room. "Denise? Are you all packed?"

Denise throws her pajamas in her bag and yells, "coming!" We run out of her room and down the hall to the living room.

* * *

The drive to Sonora is long, but Denise and I sit close to each other and talk the whole way there. The main street is already closed off to traffic when we get to Sonora so Hannah drives on the back streets to the supermarket's parking lot. We all get out of the jeep and walk with the crowds of people up to Washington Street where the parade will be. When we get there Guthrie's is ready to go off and meet Kenny.

"Make sure you stay in the parade area," Hannah reminds him.

"I will."

"As soon as the parade is over meet us right here on the corner."

"Ok. Bye."

I feel a little sad as I watch Guthrie leave us and walk up the street.

"Ok girls, let's go," Hannah says and she starts walking up the street and then stops in front of the hotel.

"Why are we stopping?" I ask. "We always watch the parade in front of the Mexican restaurant. There's shade there." It's a really hot day today and it's still the morning.

"We're meeting some friends here," Hannah says and she looks around at the people walking by.

"Who?" I ask.

"Marie and Tiffany and her kids."

"What?!" Hannah doesn't hear me because she's too busy looking around.

"What's wrong?" Denise asks.

"I don't like Tiffany's kids. She has two little boys and they're brats! It's bad enough that I have to watch the parade without my family, but now I have to watch it with two little kids?

"How old are they?"

"I don't know. I think they're seven and eight."

"That's not too little," Denise says. "After all, we're ten."

I glare at her. "They're brats!"

"Ok. Sorry."

We're quiet after that. I'm getting mad and I'm in a bad mood now. I look up the street towards the Mexican restaurant. That's where we should be. Not standing out here in the sun. I look behind me when I hear Hannah talking to someone.

"Hi," she says.

Marie and Tiffany are here. "Hi."

"Heidi, you remember Josh and Caleb don't you?" Hannah asks.

I nod my head. How could I forget. They caused a lot of problems for Guthrie and me when they stayed at our house for a weekend.

"This is Heidi's friend Denise," Hannah says.

"Hi."

Hannah starts talking to Marie and Tiffany and Josh and Caleb move over towards us. They start talking about all kinds of stuff and it's bugging me.

"Why don't you guys go over by your mom and ask her all these questions," I tell them.

"She told us to stay with you guys," Caleb says.

"What do you mean 'stay with us'?" I ask as I fold my arms across my chest and glare at them.

"She told us not to bug her. She said we have to watch the parade with you."

"She's your mom! What'd you mean she told you not to bug her?!"

Caleb and Josh smile at me and say, "that's just what she said."

I look over at Hannah. She's smiling while she talks to Tiffany and Marie. I want to tell her these kids are bugging me, but she looks so happy. I think she misses having women to talk to now that she lives with a house full of boys far away from town. I'm not gonna bug her. I take Denise's hand and pull her through the people standing in front of us so we can sit on the sidewalk. We should be able to see the parade perfectly from here. Josh and Caleb follow us too.

"Go away!" I yell at them. "There's not enough room here for all four of us!" There really isn't. There's a lot of kids siting on the sidewalks and I can barely squeeze me and Denise in. But Josh and Caleb don't listen to me. They try to squeeze in between us, and when that doesn't work, the sit down in front of us.

"Hey! You can't sit there! Now we can't see!" I look back to see if I can see Hannah. She's standing close to the hotel and there are two rows of parents standing in front of her, and behind us. She sees me and smiles and waves before looking back to her friends and talking. I sigh and look at Denise. She's trying to move so she can see above Caleb's head, but he keeps laughing at her and moving with her. She looks frustrated and now the parade is starting. We won't be able to see anything from here!

The first entry in the parade is always the color guard. I love how the horses walk with their necks arched and their perfect walking gait. The horses are huge and beautiful. Much bigger than my horse, Lucy. I love how the riders sit perfectly straight in their uniforms and can hold the huge flag poles. I guess Josh and Caleb like it too because they stand up and start clapping and waving to them.

"We can't see," Denise tells them, but they ignore her.

"I want to go pet the horses," Josh says.

"You can't," I tell them. "You can't go into the street. If you want to pet a horse go to the rodeo and pet the horses there."

"I want to pet them now!" Josh starts to walk in the street so I gab his shirt to hold him back. The color guard is past us now and the next entry is the grand marshal riding on a horse. Josh and Caleb still won't sit down so we stand up.

"I'm thirsty," Caleb says.

I am too. It's getting hotter and we're right in the sun.

"Heidi, I'm thirsty."

"So. What do you expect me to do about it? Go tell your mom."

Denise whispers, "I wish they'd leave us alone."

"I know. They're ruining the parade for me," I tell her.

"Same here."

"Heidi! I'm thirsty!"

"Then go find something to drink! Ask your mom or something! Quit bugging us!"

"Where do I get a drink from?" Caleb asks. I think he's gonna cry.

"Oh my gosh!" I yell at him. "You're such a baby! Don't you know how to do anything by yourself?!" Now he starts to cry. "Fine! I'll get you something to drink!"

He immediately stops crying and says, "thanks. Could you hurry up though? I'm really thirsty."

I glare at him. I want to punch him in the nose so bad right now! What did Adam tell me to do if I want to fight someone? Oh yeah, get away from them. Hmm. "I'll be right back with your water." Then I grab Denise's hand and whisper in her ear. "Come on, we're getting out of here!"

I pull her through the people standing behind us and look for Hannah. I don't even think she's watching the parade. I pull Denise with me away from Hannah and up the street towards the Mexican restaurant.

"Where are we going?" She asks.

"To where we _should_ be watching the parade from!"

"Aren't we gonna get in trouble?" She asks.

"No! Hannah's too busy right now and I want to punch those boys so bad! Adam told me to get away from someone when I feel like fighting with them. So that's what we're doing. As soon as the parade is over, we'll go back."

"Ok. It'll be nice to be away from those boys. You were right, they are brats!"

I drag her through the crowds so we can get far away from them.

* * *

"This is perfect!" Denise says.

"I told you." I smile at her. We're sitting in the shade, on the sidewalk with a perfect view of the parade, and no one around us that will bug us. Now we can pay attention to the parade.

We wave to all the people in the parade as they either walk by, or ride by on horses, or in old fashioned cars, or on floats. I love Sonora High School's marching band. Especially the baton twirlers that walk in front. They can throw the baton so high! And they always catch it! Then my favorite entry in the parade rides by. Miss Tuolumne County.

She's so pretty riding on top of her horse. She's wearing a fancy cowgirl shirt with silver thread sparkling in it. Her silver belt buckle is huge and shines bright when the sunlight hits it just right. Her hair is curled and her cowgirl hat is beautiful. Someday I want to be Miss Tuolumne County, but I can't be because I don't live in this county. I wave to her as she rides by.

"Wow," Denise says. "She's beautiful."

"I know." She's wearing a sash that even says she's Miss Tuolumne County. Behind her the runner ups ride on their horses. They're beautiful too. "Someday I want to be Miss Carbon County," I tell Denise.

"Me too."

The girls smile and wave as they ride by and then the band from Oakdale High School walks by. They're good. I just love parades! They're so much fun!

"Look at that guy!" Denise says. I look to where she's pointing behind the band.

"That's 'Stilts'," I tell her. "He's in the parade every year." He walks on stilts and wears a red, white and blue flag costume. He's from Groveland.

Denise and I have fun talking about all the different parade entries and waving to the people. I'm glad she's having fun too. I only wish my family was here with us. I look down the street and wonder if Hannah even knows we're missing. Probably not. I look back at the parade and forget all about Hannah.

* * *

When the parade is over we get up and walk down the street back to where Hannah is. There's so many people we have to move with the crowd. All the adults are so tall. It's hard to see around them. When Denise and I get separated for a minute, we find each other and hold hands. Once we're at the hotel, I squeeze through the crowd so we can stand against the building. I don't see Hannah anywhere.

"Where's Hannah?" Denise asks. "This is where we were standing."

"I don't know." I have a bad feeling about this. I hope I don't get in trouble. I'd better think about this for a minute. Ok, it's only Hannah. It's not like it's Adam, Brian or Crane we left. If it was them I know I would have to stay with them, but with Hannah, I can pretend I didn't know that. She'll never know. "Maybe we should go to where we're supposed to meet Guthrie," I tell her.

"Do you know where that is?" She asks.

"I think so. I know it's on the corner."

"Heidi, there's lots of streets with corners." Denise sounds a little scared.

"I know. Don't worry, we'll find her." But now I'm not so sure. I've been to Sonora a lot, but not this area. The only time we walk on this street is when we come for a parade and that's only about twice a year. "We can walk up the street to the Candy Vault. That's where Guthrie went."

"Do you think he'll still be there?"

"Maybe."

We decide to do that so we have to walk through the crowds again to go up the street. When we finally get there I don't see Guthrie anywhere. Denise presses her face up to the candy store window. "Wow! Look at all the candy!"

"I know. Do you want to go inside? Maybe Guthrie's in there."

"Ok."

We walk inside the store and look at the barrels full of candy right by the front door.

"Look! Salt water taffy!" Denise yells. "That's my favorite!"

I look around the store. It's a small store, but it's very crowded. There's lots of kids in here too. I don't see Guthrie.

"Mmmm, black licorice," Denise says.

"You know what candy I love? The little gummy root beer bottles."

"Oh, I love those!" Denise says. "Oh look! Gum cigarettes! I wonder what those are?"

"It's round pieces of gum in the shape of cigarettes, rolled in flour and wrapped in white paper. When you blow on one end flour comes out the other end like you're smoking," I tell her.

"Oh, I wish I could buy some!"

"Why can't you? Your mom gave you money remember?"

"Oh right! Let's buy some!"

Now we're having fun. We get gum cigarettes, root beer bottles, licorice, salt water taffy and jaw breakers. Huge jawbreakers! The size of tennis balls. We stand in line to pay and wait our turn. There's about five families in front of us. It's still really crowded in here. After what seems like forever it's finally our turn. We put all of our candy on the counter and slide it over to the lady.

"Will this be all for you?" She asks.

"Yes ma'am," Denise says. I look at her. She looks like she's done this before. Bought stuff without an adult with her. I've bought stuff before, but never by myself.

"Five dollars," the lady says after she's put everything into a bag.

Denise pulls her money out of her pocket and counts out five dollars. She slides it over to the lady and then we say thank you as Denise takes her bag of candy. As soon as we walk out of the store, we stand by the store window while Denise opens her bag and takes out the gum cigarettes. She has the package opened quickly and she takes out two.

"What do I do?" She asks.

"Just put it up to your mouth like this, and blow." I blow on mine and white flour comes out the other end of my cigarette in a white puff.

"Wow!" Denise says. She blows on hers and flour comes out.

"Now you hold it like you're holding a cigarette, so it looks real," I tell her. Both of us pretend we're smoking until there's no more flour that comes out. Then we unwrap the gum and chew it.

"This gum doesn't taste good," she says.

"I know. It's floury and hard. I usually chew it for a little while and then spit it out," I tell her. Denise takes the gum cigarette package out of her bag and takes two more out.

"Here." She hands me one and I take it.

"Denise, we should probably look for Hannah and Guthrie now. There's not that many people left. They're all going to the fairgrounds now."

"Ok."

We walk down the street puffing on our gum cigarettes. When we get to the hotel again, no one's standing there. Now I don't know what to do.

"Do you think Hannah got lost?" I ask Denise. "She doesn't know Sonora that well."

"Maybe. What should we do?"

I shrug my shoulders. "We could walk to the fairgrounds," I tell her.

"Walk? Isn't that kind of far?"

"Not really. I know it's around here somewhere. I've walked to it after the parade before. Well, I didn't walk. Crane carried me on his shoulders, so it's not too far. The supermarket where we parked is halfway between the parade street and the fairgrounds. That's where all these people are going. Let's follow them."

"Ok, but I hope we don't get lost," she says.

"I think Hannah's lost. We'll find her at the fairgrounds. It's not that big there. I'm sure she'll be looking for us too."

We walk down a side street following a crowd of people while we laugh and talk and smoke our gum cigarettes.

* * *

It doesn't seem like it takes us long to get to the fairgrounds because we're having fun along the way. When we get there, we stand in a long line. It's hot.

"I can't wait to get a drink from the water fountain once we get inside," I tell Denise. Chewing that awful gum made me thirsty.

"Me too."

"Denise, have you ever been to this fairground?"

"No, this is my first time."

"You're gonna love it!" We move up with the line as we get closer to the entrance. "You're gonna love the rodeo too!"

"As long as you explain it to me," she says.

"Oh don't worry, I will! I know everything about rodeos!" I'm so excited to show her everything. We get to the entrance and there's a man standing in front of it.

"Tickets please," he says and he holds out his hand.

"What?" I ask.

"Tickets please," he says again. "You have to have a ticket to get in."

"We don't have tickets," I tell him.

"See that line over there?" He asks as he points. I look to a line in front of a building. People are talking into a small window on the side of the wall. "That's the box office. You need to buy your ticket there, and then bring it over here to get in."

"What?"

He looks at me. "Go buy a ticket over there."

"I don't have any money," I tell him.

"Then you need to get out of line, because all these people behind you have tickets, and they're waiting to get in."

I look behind me. Now what do we do.

"You need to move out of the way," the man says.

Denise takes my hand and leads me to the side of the line. "What do we do now?" She asks.

"I don't know. How are we gonna find Hannah if we can't get in?"

"Let's go see how much tickets cost," she says and she pulls me over to the box office where we wait in another long line.

I'm hungry now. And hot, and thirsty, and I'm started to feel scared because I don't know where Hannah is. "Denise, I'm a little scared."

"I know. I am too."

"You are?"

"Yes. We need to get inside to find Hannah. Maybe I have enough money to buy tickets for us," she says.

"But your mom said that was for food."

"But we need to get inside," she reminds me and we wait in line quietly now.

When it's finally our turn at the box office, we have to stand on our tippy toes to see in.

"How can I help you?" The man behind the window asks.

"We need two tickets," Denise tells him.

"Six dollars please," the man says and he waits for us to give him the money.

Denise pulls the rest of her money out of her pocket and counts it. "I only have five dollars," she whispers to me.

"What do we do?" I whisper back.

"I don't know."

"Six dollars please," the man says again.

"I only have five," Denise tells him.

"That will buy you one ticket," he says. He's starting to look frustrated.

"But we need two," I tell him.

"You have enough money for one," he says. "Three dollars." He holds his hand out.

"What do I do?" Denise asks.

"I guess buy one ticket. Then we'll figure out what to do," I tell her.

Denise gives the man three dollars and he hands her the ticket. We walk to the side of the building to talk.

"Now what?" Denise asks. She looks like she's going to cry. I want to cry too. I don't know what to do.

"Now we think of a plan."

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"Well, we both need to get inside and we only have one ticket."

"I know. So what do we do?"

I think. What should we do? I look around and see the perfect plan. "You go in using your ticket and I'll sneak in."

"What?!" Denise yells.

"Sh!" I try to quiet her. "Be quiet!" I whisper. "You get in line and use your ticket." Then I point to a small gate next to the box office building. It looks like a special way for people to go in that use wheelchairs. "When you're inside, walk over to that gate and let me in."

"I don't know. What if we get caught?"

"There's no one near that gate. We won't get caught." I can tell Denise still isn't sure about this. "Don't worry, it'll work. We both have to get inside to find Hannah, remember? If only one of us goes in, the other has to wait out here by herself. Then we'll both be by ourselves."

"Ok, but I've never done anything like this before. Are you sure we won't get caught?"

"Look around," I tell her. "No one's watching the gate. No one's even by it. Go get in line and I'll watch you from here. As soon as you get in, I'll walk over to the gate and you let me in."

"Ok." She has tears in her eyes now. "Heidi, I'm scared to wait in line by myself."

"I know. I'm kind of scared to wait over here by myself. But it's the only way to find Hannah. Go wait in line. I'll watch you from here."

"Ok." Denise walks over to the long line and gets in line.

* * *

The line takes forever! I wonder why there's only one man taking tickets? Denise keeps looking over at me and each time she does I smile at her and wave. Then I look at the entrance. I wonder why Hannah isn't waiting there. Wouldn't that be the perfect place for her to find us? She wouldn't walk around the fairgrounds with Guthrie without us, would she? Shouldn't she be looking for us? I look back at Denise.

She's in the middle of the line now. I sigh and sit down on the ground. It's too hot so I get up and move to a spot in the shade. I wish the line moved faster. I am so thirsty! I wait and wait and wait. Finally Denise is at the front of the line. She gives the man her ticket and walks inside. I wave to her and then run around the box office to the other side of it where the little gate is. She comes running up to it and unlocks it for me.

"See, piece of cake!" I tell her once I'm inside and I lock the gate behind me. "Now let's go find Hannah!" I take her hand and we start to run off and someone yells, "stop!" from behind us.

We stop running and turn around. A Sherif's deputy is yelling at us. He must've seen me sneak in! How could he? There was no one around!

"Run!" I yell. I push Denise to my left and I run to my right.

"Wait Heidi!" She yells. I turn around to look at her to make sure she's running away, but she's not. The Sherif's deputy is holding her upper arm so she can't run anywhere. Now what do I do? I have to go back to her. I can't leave her alone. I start to run back to her, but somebody grabs me by the upper arm. I look up and it's another Sherif's deputy. He walks us over to Denise. Now what do we do?


	11. Chapter 11

"Where are your parents?" The deputy asks.

Denise starts to cry. Oh man, this isn't good. I'm definitely going to get in trouble for this. "My mom is here at the fairgrounds. I mean _our_ mom is here." Denise looks at me. I hope she doesn't say that's not true.

"How old are you girls?" The other deputy asks.

"Ten," we both say.

"_Both_ of you are ten?"

I guess if we have the same mom we're supposed to be sisters, and since we don't look like twins, we shouldn't be the same age. "I mean I'm nine, and she's ten," I tell him.

"You two are way too young to be at the rodeo by yourselves. Where are your parents?"

"I told you, they're here. We got separated from them and we came to meet them here," I tell them.

"What are your names?"

I glare at the deputy and put my hands on my hips. "Why do you need to know that?"

He glares back and says, "so we can find your parents."

"Wouldn't you need to know _their_ names to do that?" I fold my arms across my chest and wait for him to answer.

"Look, little girl, I've got you sneaking into the fairgrounds without buying a ticket. Because you're nine, I can't throw you out of the grounds like I would if you were a teenager sneaking in. I need to find your parents and give you over to them. So start talking. What are your names?"

Denise is still crying and she says, "De..," but I interrupt her.

"Debbie and Jane. She's Debbie and I'm Jane," I tell him.

"What's your last name?"

I don't answer for a minute because I have to think fast. "Um...Smith."

"Debbie and Jane Smith? Ok. What's your phone number?"

"Why do you need to know that?"

"So we can call home. I'm not sure you're telling me the truth."

"Oh. Well, I don't know what it is," I tell him.

"You don't know what your phone number is?" He glares at me.

I shake my head no and he looks at Denise. She looks at me and I shake my head at her. "I don't know either," she says quietly. I can tell she's scared.

The deputy sighs and says, "have it your way. Follow me."

Now I'm scared. "Why? Where are we going?"

"Over to the Sherif's station."

Now we both start crying. "I don't want to go to jail!" Denise cries.

"Me either!"

"You're not going to jail! We're going to the Sherif's station here at the fairgrounds. You know, the booth we set up here so we can patrol the grounds. Come on, follow me."

The other deputy says, "I'll catch up with you later Bill. I'm sure you can handle it from here."

"Thanks. Let's go girls," Deputy Bill says and we follow behind him.

* * *

I whisper to Denise while we follow the deputy to the booth. "Denise, don't tell him your real name or he's gonna call your parents."

"Ok, but Heidi, I'm scared."

"I know. I'm a little scared too, but just think of it like we're lost and he needs to find our parents. All he has to do is find Hannah and we'll be ok. She'll pay for my ticket and then we can go watch the rodeo."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Just don't tell him your real name."

"Ok."

We follow the deputy to the Sherif's booth that's set up. It's a table set up inside a big red tent. Well, it's not really a tent because it doesn't have a floor and you can stand all the way up in it, but it has a triangle top like a tent and three side walls. There's a deputy sitting at the table and we walk over to him.

"I caught these two sneaking in. Well, this one let the other one in. This is Ralph," he says to us. "This is Debbie and Jane Smith," the deputy tells Ralph.

"Smith, huh?"

"Right. Smith."

"Ok. You girls can have a seat in those two chairs over there," Ralph tells us. We look behind the table and there's a few folding chairs set up at the back of the tent. Bill talks to Ralph quietly. When they're done Ralph says, "thanks Bill, I'll take it from here."

"Ok. I'll be back from rounds in a half hour."

Denise and I sit down in two of the chairs in the back of the booth and watch Bill walk off. "What do we do now?" I ask Ralph.

"You? You sit there and wait for your parents," Ralph tells us.

"How are they gonna find us?" I ask.

"Are they here at the fairgrounds?" Ralph asks.

"Yes."

"They should be looking for you. It won't take too long before they ask a deputy for help, or come to our booth looking for you."

"What if they're _not_ here at the fairgrounds?" I ask.

"I'll call home to let them know where you are. I'm sure they're worried about you."

After he says that, I feel bad. I bet Hannah's worried about us. But why isn't she looking for us? She should've been at the hotel. She should've been at the entrance to the fairgrounds. She must be too busy with her friends.

Ralph talks to people that walk up to the booth. There's a whole bunch of pamphlets laying on the table and he talks to them about being a deputy. There's a boy with the people and Deputy Ralph gives him a Sherif's badge sticker to put on.

"How come Hannah's not coming for us?" Denise asks me.

"I don't know. Maybe _she's_ lost."

"Do you really think so?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. She doesn't know Sonora that well. Maybe she got lost trying to find Guthrie."

"We should of stayed with her at the parade."

"I know. I hope she's not too mad at me. She'll be here soon."

"Do you think she'll be mad at me?" Denise asks.

"No. I think she's gonna be mad at me. I'm the one who wanted to leave."

"But I didn't stop you. I didn't even try to. I wanted to be away from those boys too. I just figured we'd find her after the parade."

"Me too," I tell her. "I'm sorry Denise."

"That's ok. I had fun. Especially at the candy store. Are you hungry? We can eat some candy if you want to."

"Ok. I'm really thirsty though."

"Me too," she says.

I get up and walk over to the deputy. "Um, Deputy Ralph?" I wait for him to look down at me. "Can we have something to drink?"

"When Deputy Bill comes back I'll get you some water."

"Can't we just get a drink from the water fountain? I know where it is."

"No. You girls aren't going anywhere."

I sigh and go sit down again. Denise gives me a root beer candy bottle and we pretend we're drinking root beer. It just makes us thirstier though. I get up to go talk to Deputy Ralph again. He's busy talking to someone at the booth though, so I wait by his side.

"Hi Heidi." I look at the other side of the table and see Jeremy, a boy from my class.

"Hi."

"What did you say her name was?" Deputy Ralph asks Jeremy.

"Heidi?"

"That's what I thought."

"What's her last name?"

Jeremy looks at me and I put my finger up to my lips and tell him to be quiet. He looks at me like I'm crazy and I say, "Smith. Remember, Deputy Ralph? I already told you that."

"You also told me your name was Jane. So what's your real name?" I don't look at him so he asks Jeremy. "Do you know what her name is son?"

"Nope!" He yells and then he runs away.

"Hey! Come back here!"

That was close. I breathe a sigh of relief and Deputy Ralph looks down at me. "You know if you don't tell me your real name and if no one comes looking for you, you _will_ go down to the police station."

"What?! Why?!"

"We can't keep you here forever," he says.

I'm not going to tell Denise that. Deputy Bill comes back. It's only been a half hour? It feels like we've been here forever!

Deputy Ralph says, "Bill, can you get these kids some water."

"Um, we're a little hungry too. Is it lunchtime?" I ask.

"We're not going to feed you! We'll bring you some cups of water. Your parents are going to have to buy you lunch. Go sit back down!"

Jeez! He's starting to remind me of my principal, Mr. Brick. Deputy Ralph must be hungry too. Hannah says sometimes people get grumpy when they're hungry. I sit back down and Denise says, "Heidi, I want my Mom."

I look at her. She looks sad and scared. Now what do I do? "Denise, I'm sure Hannah will be here soon to get us. Look, here comes Deputy Bill with our water."

Deputy Bill brings us each a plastic cup of water.

"Denise, I have a plan," I whisper to her.

"What?"

"We'll say we have to go to the bathroom. Then when the deputy lets us go, we run away and go find Hannah!"

"Ok!" Denise smiles.

That's the first time I've seen Denise smile since we've been here. I get up to go talk to the deputies.

"Um, excuse me," I say loudly. They both look down at me. "We have to go to the bathroom."

They stare at me and I smile up at him.

"Ok," Deputy Bill says. He takes his radio off his belt and calls someone on it.

"Can we go?" I ask.

"Not yet."

"Why not? We have to go bad!" I tell them.

"Just a minute. Here comes Deputy Kim."

"There's a _girl_ deputy?" I ask. Then I say under my breath, "I've never heard of a _girl_ deputy before." It figures Sonora would have one.

"Hi Bill, Ralph," Deputy Kim says. "Who are these two?"

"Debbie and Jane, or Heidi. We don't know their real names yet. Caught them sneaking in. They need to use the bathroom."

"Oh. Let's go girls. I'll take you to the bathroom."

Denise and I follow Deputy Kim away from the booth and into Building A. The bathroom is on the other side of the building and outside, so we have to walk through it. It's nice and cool in here.

"Look for Hannah," I whisper to Denise as we walk through to the other side. We walk out if the building and over to the bathroom. Deputy Kim goes inside with us and waits by the sinks while we each go into a stall. So much for running away.

When we finish in the bathroom, we follow Deputy Kim back to the booth. I look for Hannah but I don't see her anywhere. Or Guthrie. Or anyone else from my family. Deputy Ralph is waiting at the booth for us and he says, "well girls, take a seat. It looks like your going to be here for a while. Unless you want to tell me your real names and give me a phone number."

"We told you our real names. We don't know what our phone number is, and even if we did, there'd be no one home to answer it."

"How about your parent's name?" He asks. Denise looks at me. I have to think about that. Should I tell him Hannah's name? I don't think I'm ready yet.

"They're not home." Is all I say.

"Ok." He turns around to talk to someone that has walked up to the booth.

Where is Hannah? How come she's not looking for us. I bring my knees up to my chest and hug them. I hope she comes soon because I'm starting to get scared. What if Hannah's really lost?

* * *

Denise and I are bored. I think we've been here forever. We've eaten a lot of Denise's candy and we've been throwing one of the jawbreakers back and forth for a while now. Every time it drops a little piece of if chips off. When Denise drops it again, I get up to go talk to Deputy Ralph.

"What time is it?"

He looks at his watch. "Almost two."

"We're hungry."

"Bummer."

"Hey! That's not very nice! You should feed us! I think you'll be in trouble if we starve to death!"

"Eat some more of your candy," he says.

"Ok, but we're gonna get even more hyper," I tell him. Denise throws me a piece of salt water taffy. I laugh because she throws it too high and I can't catch it. It hits Deputy Ralph in the back.

"Sit down and stop throwing things!"

I giggle and sit back down. Denise giggles too. Then she makes a funny face at Deputy Ralph's back that's so funny it makes me laugh really hard.

He turns around and says, "I'm glad you two girls are laughing and having fun now, because I'm guessing when your parents find you, you're going to be in a whole lot of trouble, and you won't be laughing then!"

We stop laughing and look at each other. _Are_ we gonna be in trouble?

I think Deputy Ralph knows what I'm thinking because he keeps talking. "My guess is you're going to be in BIG trouble," he says. "You snuck into the fairgrounds and you're lying about your names and phone number. If my little girl did that, I'd be very angry with her. I'd be worried sick about her too. _If_ I didn't know where she was."

"But they know we're here," I tell him.

"I don't think so. They would've talked to one of us by now."

He's right. Hannah would've been here by now. Deputy Ralph gets a call on his radio. I can't hear what the person says, but Deputy Ralph says, "copy that." He looks at us and says, "Heidi McFadden? Denise Brown?"

How does he know that?

"I need to know if those are your names," he says. Neither one of us says anything. "This is serious girls. Your parents are worried sick about you."

That makes us cry and we nod our heads.

"That's a yes," Deputy Ralph says into the radio. He listens again and says, "copy that." He puts his radio back and looks at us. "Your parents will be here soon."

"You mean Hannah?" I ask. What does he mean by parents?

"It sounds like a lot of people have been looking for you."

"A lot? What do you mean?" I ask.

"I'm assuming they mean your families," he says.

Denise looks at me and she looks scared. "Do you think my mom and dad know?"

Deputy Ralph answers for me. "If they don't, they're going to know shortly. You girls are in a lot of trouble."

"Heidi, my mom and dad are going to be so mad at me!" She cries.

"But why? It's not your fault," I tell her. "Hannah lost us. We were just trying to find Hannah."

"_That's_ the story you're going with?" Deputy Ralph asks.

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to blame this on Hannah?" He asks.

"You don't even know who Hannah is!" I yell.

"I bet I'm going to find out soon."

He's right. I'd better sit down and think about this. Denise is crying. "I'm sorry Denise."

"I'm sorry too," she says. "I hope you don't get in too much trouble."

"I hope you don't either. I guess you're not going to spend the night."

She smiles a little bit. "I guess not. Probably not for a while either."

"Do you think you'll be grounded?" I ask her.

"Yes. How about you?"

"Definitely!" I tell her. I've never seen Denise's parents mad before. I guess I'll see them mad when we take Denise home. "Are your parents going to yell at you?"

"I don't know," she says. "That depends on how mad they are."

"I know I'm gonna be yelled at. At least you won't get yelled at until we take you home," I tell her.

"I don't mean to interrupt you girls, but you won't be taking her home," Deputy Ralph says.

"Why not?"

"Her parents will be taking her home."

"You're going to call them?" I ask and Denise starts to cry.

"Call them?" He says. "I don't need to call them. They've been looking for you too. I don't think you girls realize how much trouble you're in."

I stare at him. That doesn't sound good. If Denise's parents know that means Adam must know too. We are in so much trouble!

* * *

After a while Deputy Bill comes walking up to the booth with Denise's parents and Adam and Hannah.

"Heidi, my mom and dad look so mad!"

Hannah looks concerned, and Adam looks, I'm not sure what Adam looks like. I wonder how much he knows. I'm gonna tell him as little as possible. When they get to the booth Hannah and Denise's mom, Judy, come around the table inside the booth and hug us.

Denise's mom is the first one to talk. "We were worried sick about you girls!"

"I'm sorry Mom."

"What happened?!" She asks. "How did you get here?!"

Denise's mom is yelling. I've never heard her yell before. I don't like it. It makes me want to cry.

Denise starts to say something, but her mom won't let her. "Let's let the Deputy have his booth back. We need to _discuss_ this someplace else."

I don't like the way she said the word, _discuss_. I look up at Hannah and she doesn't look concerned anymore, she looks mad. Why is _she_ mad? _She_ lost _us_! I don't think I want to leave the booth now.

"I think we should discuss this here," I tell them. I look over at Adam and Denise's dad and they look really angry. "Yeah, I think we should stay here."

"We're not going to stay here Heidi," Hannah says. "We need to go somewhere else now." I don't like the way her eyes look. They look mad. Her voice sounds mad too.

"No thanks," I tell her. "I'll stay here." I sit back down in the chair and fold my arms across my chest while I watch Denise leave the booth with her mom.

"Heidi Lynne McFadden get your...," Adam yells, "...get out here now!"

"Fine! But I'm not happy about it!" I yell and I get up and push my way by Hannah and stomp out of the booth. When I'm out Adam grabs me by my shoulder and spins me around so I'm facing him.

"What do you think you're doing?!" He yells.

"What do you mean?!" I throw my arms up in the air and then bring them down and put my hands on my hips. "I'm getting out of the booth! You wanted me to come out, and I'm out!" I don't think I should've said that because Adam's expression went from mad, to really, really mad. He grabs my upper arm and starts walking with me.

"Ow!" I yell. "You're hurting me!" Now he walks faster. "Adam! You're hurting me!"

I don't know where we're going, so I turn around to see if everyone else is coming and they are. Denise looks sad as she walks with her mom and dad. I think they're yelling at her. I have to turn back around because the way Adam is walking it's so fast I'm gonna fall if I don't turn back around. He walks us straight through the exit gate and over to the side of the box office building. I look around and there's not a whole lot of people out here. The ones that are here are either walking into the fairgrounds, or out to the parking lot. When everyone else gets here Adam lets go of my arm and yells, "start explaining!"

"Hannah lost us!" I yell.

"What?!" He yells.

I know he heard me so I look at Denise. I can tell she doesn't know what to say so I say it again. "Hannah lost us!"

Adam looks like he's going to kill me and Hannah isn't trying to calm him down. In fact, I think she looks like she could kill me too.

Adam yells, "Denise, it looks like Heidi's not going to cooperate _right now_!" I wonder what he means by that. "Would you tell us what happened?!"

He must be mad if he's yelling at Denise. She starts crying really hard and her dad yells, "start talking!"

"We left Hannah to watch the parade in a better spot."

"Why would you EVER do that?!" Her dad yells.

"We were gonna go back when the parade was over!" She cries. "But Hannah wasn't there!"

I glare at Hannah now, but look away when she glares back.

"When we couldn't find her, we went to find Guthrie at the Candy Vault," Denise says.

"Is that where you got that bag?!" Her dad yells.

"Yes! We bought some candy!" She says loudly. It sounds like she's yelling! Wow! I've never heard Denise talk to an adult like that before.

"Don't take that tone with me!" Her dad yells.

Denise puts her head down and says, "yes sir," really quietly. "We bought some candy."

"So you went shopping?! YOU GET LOST AND THEN YOU GO SHOPPING?!" He yells. Wow, I thought Adam could yell loud, but her dad might yell louder. When Denise nods her head her dad grabs the bag of candy out of her hand. "I'll take this!"

"But daddy!"

"Don't _but daddy_ me, young lady! What did you do after you went SHOPPING?!"

Boy, I think her dad _really_ doesn't like that we bought some candy.

"We went to the fairgrounds," she says quietly.

"How did you do that?!"

What does he mean by that?! "We walked," I tell him. How else would we get there?

Hannah and Denise's mom both gasp and that confuses me.

"You walked?!" Hannah yells. Hannah doesn't yell hardly ever. Her voice can sound loud, but never like when one of my brothers yells. This time she sounds like them.

"Yes we walked!" I yell at her. "How else do you think we could get there?! We can't drive yet!"

Hannah's eyes look like they could burn little holes right through my body. She starts to talk in a very serious voice. "Do you know how worried I was about the two of you?! I had no idea where you went! I looked all over for you two!" I know she's talking to both of us, but why is she only looking at me?

"Where did you look?!" I yell at her. I think if Hannah didn't start talking right after I said that, Adam would've killed me.

"Where did I look?! Did you just ask me, _where did I look_?!" I think that's one of those questions I'm not supposed to answer and I'm right because she keeps on talking. "I looked up and down Washington Street three times! I went to the police station to report you were missing. I called Denise's parents from there, and they came as fast as they could to help! I called the hospital! We had the whole Sonora Police Department out looking for you two! They called the Sherif's Department, and they were looking for you too!" Hannah is crying now and that makes me feel bad. "I was so worried about you two! I didn't know if you were hurt, lost, or kidnapped!"

"I'm sorry Hannah," Denise says. I look over at her and she's crying.

"I should hope so!" Her dad yells and Denise's mom hugs Hannah. "Thank you for looking so hard for the girls," she says. "I'm sorry Denise didn't stay with you."

"Thank you," Hannah says. "I would do anything for those two." I look at Hannah then and I don't know why but I feel a little sad. Why are they crying? I don't understand. Denise's mom stops hugging Hannah and looks at me.

"Heidi, you and Denise are best friends. I know in the past you have been worried that Rick and I would not like you, or let Denise be your friend anymore when you two girls get in trouble. I want you to know we love you and would look just as hard for you, as Hannah did for Denise today. We have been just as worried about you as we have been about Denise. I am very disappointed in both of you. You both did this together and I am angry for what you put Hannah through today, and all of us. But Heidi, when the two of you are done with your punishments for this, you will still be welcome in our home. You are Denise's best friend and that's not going to change. But you are going to have to show us we can trust you again, just like Denise is going to have to show Hannah she can trust her again."

"That goes for you too Denise," Hannah says. "We want you to be Heidi's friend still and you are welcome in our home anytime, but I am not going to let the two of you out of my sight for a very long time!"

"I'm sorry Judy." I run to her and give her a hug and she hugs me back. I'm crying. I'm sad I disappointed her.

Denise hugs Hannah. "I'm sorry Hannah."

They both hug us and then Hannah says, "I think we'd better take these girls home. I'm sure we all have a lot of talking to do with them still."

"I know I do," Denise's dad says.

"Me too," Adam says. He looks right at me and says again, "me too." I don't like the expression on his face. It makes me feel a little scared.

* * *

Denise and her parents walk to her car, while I follow Adam and Hannah to the jeep.

"Why do we have to go home?" I ask. When they don't answer me I ask louder. "Why are we going home?!" Adam stops walking and turns around to look at me.

"You didn't think we would stay for the rodeo, did you?!" He yells.

"Why not?!"

"After what you did?! Heidi, I am SO mad at you right now, I think you'd better stop talking!"

"Why?!"

He glares at me.

"I don't want to go home with you!" I yell. "Why can't I just go home with _her_?!" I nod to Hannah with my head.

"Because you're going home with both of us!" He yells.

"But I don't understand why!"

"You don't have to understand why! That's just the way it is! You're the kid and we're the adults! So get moving!" He turns around and starts walking again with Hannah. I stare at their backs and glare while I start walking behind them. I make sure I'm not close to them so I can kick at the rocks in the dirt as we walk through the dirt parking lot. I find a rock about the size of a golf ball and kick it ahead of me a little bit.

I don't know why I have to go home with _both_ of them. I kick my rock again when I get to it. This is all Hannah's fault! Why does _he_ have to get involved in this?! I kick my rock again and watch it roll almost to Adam and Hannah. I'm not kicking it hard because I don't want it to go past them. They'd probably take it away. I wish Hannah didn't lose us! Why'd she have to leave the hotel anyway? I kick my rock and this time it flies up in the air and hits Adam in the leg. Oops. I didn't mean to do that. I look away from him as he spins around.

"Did you just throw a rock at me?!"

"What?"

"You heard me!"

"No."

"Then what was that, that hit me?!"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. What'd it feel like?"

"A rock!"

"I didn't throw a rock at you," I tell him.

"You better not have!" He turns around and starts walking again.

"Where's the jeep?!" I yell. "We've been walking forever!" They don't answer me so I ask again. "Hey! Where's the jeep?!" Adam takes Hannah's hand and holds it while they walk, but they still don't answer me. "Oh great! So know you're ignoring me?!" They don't answer. "You can't ignore me forever!" I find another rock to kick. This time I'll make sure it doesn't hit anyone. "Do you hear me?! I'm gonna keep yelling until you answer me!" I kick my rock, but it doesn't go very far. Stupid rock! I kick it harder and this time it almost hits Hannah in the back. I'm glad it didn't. I look around for the jeep. "How far do I have to walk?! Why didn't you park closer?!" I kick my rock hard because they're not answering me. This time it hits Adam in the back.

He stops walking and turns around really fast. "What are you doing?!" He yells at me. "That was definitely a rock, and don't you dare tell me it wasn't!"

"I didn't throw it at you!" I yell.

"Don't lie to me!"

"I'm not! Why would I throw a rock at you?! I kicked it!" I bend down and pick up a rock the size of a golf ball. "_This_ would be throwing!" I throw the rock to my left as hard as I can. I see it hit a truck. Uh oh. I look at Adam and Hannah and I start running towards the truck. I hope I didn't break a window. It didn't sound like I did. As I get closer to it I stop running. It's our truck!

"Hey look! I hit our truck! Can you believe it?!" I laugh. "Wait until I tell Guthrie!" I turn around to look at them as they run up to me. They're not laughing. In fact, I think Adam's gonna kill me! I start to run away but he grabs my arm.

"You think this is funny?!" He yells at me.

I look up at him. "Yes?" I ask quietly. "Don't you think it kind of is?"

"No, I don't think it's funny _at all_! Do you know how lucky you are that you hit our truck, and not somebody else's?! You are so lucky you didn't break something either!"

"Since this is our truck, can we ride home in it instead of the jeep? I'm tired of walking," I ask him.

"You want to know what I'm tired of?!" He yells.

Should I answer? I don't think I want to know the answer.

"You!" He yells. "I'm tired of you! You and your big mouth! I've heard enough from you! If you say one more word you're gonna be sorry!"

I glare at him and fold my arms across my chest.

"And don't look at me like that either! Let's go! You walk in front of us now, I don't want to get hit with another rock!"

I stand by the truck and don't move.

"Let's go! What are you waiting for?!"

I point to my mouth because I'm not supposed to talk.

"What!" He yells.

"How am I supposed to walk in front of you when I don't know where you parked?"

He glares at me and says, "fine! You walk with us, but don't you dare pick up another rock!" He starts to walk and then stops and looks at me. "Or kick one!"

Darn. I guess I'll have to find a stick.

* * *

When we finally get to the jeep, I'm exhausted. I've walked a lot today. I climb up to get in the back and Adam grabs my stick out of my hand.

"Hey! That's mine!"

"Not anymore!" He throws it on the ground and gets in the jeep. Hannah gets in on the other side and Adam starts the jeep and backs out of the parking space. He drives through the parking lot slowly because it's dirt and the dust from it flies up all over the place. When we get out to the road I stand up behind him and yell in his ear.

"I'm hungry!" He ignores me so I yell it again.

"Sit down!" He yells.

"But I'm hungry!"

He pulls over to the side of the road and stops the jeep. He turns back to look at me. "I don't care if you're hungry! You can starve to death for all I care!"

"Hey! That's not very nice! Besides, you'd go to jail if you let me starve."

"Fine with me! Sit your butt down and don't get up again!"

"I have to go to the bathroom." He looks at me and I tell him again. "I really have to go. I've had to go for a long time now."

He looks at Hannah and she nods her head. "Fine," he says. "We'll stop at a gas station. Now sit down!"

I sit down and Adam starts the jeep. He pulls over and stops at the first gas station he sees and I jump out and run to the bathroom. When I'm done I run back outside and over to the jeep. They're not in it so I look in the store. They must be in there. I run inside and over to the candy. I pick out a pack of bubble gum and look for Adam and Hannah. The store isn't that big so it doesn't take me long to find them and I run over to them. They're over by the drinks looking at sodas.

"Can I have a soda?" I ask.

"No," Adam says.

"Why not?" When he doesn't answer me I hold the gum out. "Can I buy this?"

"No."

"Can I get a Slurpee?"

"No."

"Then what can I get?"

"Nothing."

"What?! Why not? You guys are."

"We were good today, you weren't," he says while taking a Coke out of the refrigerated section.

"Hannah wasn't."

They both look at me and Adam says loudly, and slowly, "go get in the jeep and wait for us out there!"

"By myself?"

"Yes!"

"What if something bad happens?"

"Like what?! Like you leaving and going off someplace where you're not supposed to go?!"

"No. What if someone kidnaps me?"

"That's not gonna happen!"

"How do you know? You thought I was kidnapped earlier today."

"Go wait for us in the jeep!" Adam yells.

"Ok, but if I get kidnapped it's all your fault," I tell him and I run out of the store. Once I climb in the jeep and sit down, I realize I'm still holding the pack of bubble gum. I groan. I have to put it back. I get out of the jeep and run over to the store again. Adam and Hannah are walking out the door, but they don't see me. They walk to the other side of the building. I wonder why they're going there? I walk to the corner of the store and peek around it. They're sitting on a wooden bench that doesn't have a back on it so Adam is leaning against the wall. They both have Cokes and I think they have something to eat, but I can't tell what it is. That's not fair! I listen to what they're saying.

"Sometimes I just want to wring her neck!" Adam says. He sounds really frustrated.

"Believe me," Hannah says, "I want to do that today too! She's in rare form today."

I wonder what that means.

"Hannah, some of the stuff that's been coming out of her mouth today makes me so mad! I'm trying my hardest not to spank her, but I don't think I can take it anymore!"

"Maybe that's what she needs," Hannah says.

What?! Why would she say that?

"I know. I think you might be right about that today. When she threw that rock in the parking lot I was ready to spank her right then and there."

"I know you were," Hannah says.

"Can you believe that was _our_ truck she hit?" He laughs a little bit. "What were the chances of that happening?"

I knew that was funny!

"I know," Hannah says. "I couldn't believe it."

Adam sighs and says, "Hannah, I'm trying my best not to spank her while I'm angry."

"I know."

"Why does she have to make it so damn hard!"

"I don't know Adam."

"I don't understand why she thinks this is _your_ fault. That doesn't make any sense to me. She runs into the store and asks us to buy something for her like nothing happened. I don't understand her at all today."

"I have to admit Adam, I don't understand her at all today either," Hannah says. "I know it must be so hard for you to try to understand her, and what she's thinking in that head of hers."

"I don't think she's thinking today. I don't know what the heck she's doing today. I don't know what to do about it either. Yet. I need to figure that out."

"I'll help you," Hannah says.

"I know you will. Hannah, I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Adam, you'd figure it out. You've done it for ten years. You're a good dad to these kids."

"Thanks. You're a good mom."

Why is he saying that? She left us. She left me. She was supposed to be at the hotel and she left! That's not being a good mom! Besides, she's not _my_ mom! I wish he'd stop saying that!

"I guess we'd better get back to the little rug rat," Adam says.

I wonder what rug rat means. My guess is nothing good.

"I suppose you're right," Hannah says. "We wouldn't want anyone to come and kidnap her now, would we?"

They both laugh. Why are they laughing about that?

"No, I suppose we wouldn't," Adam says and then he sighs. "Hannah, Heidi hasn't acted like this in a long time. I don't know what to do today."

"We'll figure it out."

"Ok. But I'm warning you now, if I hear anything else come out of her mouth I'm spanking her. Right here, right now."

"I know. I wouldn't blame you if you did. I've got to say, I think she deserves it today."

I throw the bubble gum down on the ground and run back to the jeep. I climb in and sit down. I watch Adam pick up the bubble gum I dropped and they both look over at me. I start to cry so I close my eyes and lean against the side of the jeep. It's not very comfortable, but at least this way I can pretend I'm asleep and not have to look at them or talk to them. I don't understand what they were talking about out there. I don't understand today at all. I'm just gonna pretend to be asleep and maybe no one will be mad at me when I wake up.


	12. Chapter 12

When Adam and Hannah get back to the jeep I pretend to be asleep.

"Heidi, I found a package of gum on the ground outside the store. It looks like the gum you were holding in the store. Do you know anything about that?" Adam asks. He's not yelling at me, so I guess that's good, but I ignore him because I don't want to get in trouble for accidentally taking the gum out of the store. "Heidi? Can you hear me? I know you're not asleep."

"Yes I am."

"People don't talk when they're asleep."

"Some people do."

"Heidi! Sit up and look at me!" Now he's yelling and he sounds mad.

I sigh and open my eyes. "What?"

"Is this your gum?" Adam asks. He holds up the pack of gum I dropped outside the store.

"No, I didn't buy any gum, remember? You wouldn't let me."

"I know you didn't _buy_ any! Why was this laying on the ground outside the store?!" He sounds frustrated now.

"I dropped it."

"Why didn't you pick it up and put it back?"

I stare at him because I don't know what to say.

He stares at me while he waits for an answer, but when I don't answer him he says, "did you hear us talking? We're you listening to us talking outside the store?" I ignore him because I don't think I want to tell him I was. "Would you answer me!" He yells.

"What! What do you you want?!"

"I want you to answer me!"

"Fine! Yes I was listening and I heard everything you said! I heard you call me a rug rat and laugh about me getting kidnapped and I heard you say you wanted to spank me!" I glare at Hannah now. "You too!" I yell at her. "You said I deserve it!" I stand up and put my hands on my hips. "You wanna know what?! I think YOU deserve it!"

"You're not going to talk to Hannah that way!" Adam yells. "Get out of the jeep!"

"Why?" I move over to the other side of the jeep, because I'm not getting out until I know what he wants first.

Hannah walks over to the side I'm on. "Why do you think that Heidi? Why do you think _I_ deserve it?"

"Because this is all your fault! You left me!"

"No, _you_ left me," she says.

She says that in her serious voice, but I don't think she's right, so I shake my head at her. Darn. I was paying so much attention to Hannah that I didn't realize Adam has walked over to this side of the jeep! Before I can move to the other side, he grabs ahold of me and lifts me out. When he sets me down he spanks me hard one time and says, "apologize to Hannah for talking to her rudely."

I fold my arms across my chest and glare at Hannah. I look her up and down before I ask, "is she gonna apologize to me?" I don't think I should've asked that because as soon as that comes out of my mouth Adam spanks me again. One time, but it's way harder than the first time, so I keep glaring at her and say, "sorry." Then I turn around to look up at Adam. "There! Are you happy now?!" I don't think he is because his face sure doesn't look very happy.

"What the heck has gotten in to you?!" He yells. He turns me sideways and spanks me hard two times in a row.

When he's done I spin around and glare at him. "Would you stop doing that!" I yell and I push him.

Adam stares at me and he looks shocked. I look at Hannah and she looks shocked too. I don't know why I did that. I've never done anything like that before. I stare at Adam and I can't tell what he's thinking. I don't know if he's angry, or...or...or, I don't know what, except he's not happy. He's definitely not happy and he's staring at me.

I feel like I'm frozen. It's like the three of us are all frozen in time staring at each other and none of us knows what to do. Should I run? No, Adam would just catch me. Besides, my feet can't move anyways, I think they're really stuck to the ground.

Hannah's the first one to say something. "Let's go home." At first I'm not really sure if she said anything because she says it so quietly. She puts her hand on Adam's arm and says, "let's go home, Adam." Then she moves so she's standing in front of him and puts her hands on his chest. She looks at him and says, "let's go home." When he turns his face to look at me instead of her, she takes his chin in her hand and moves it back to facing her again. "Adam, you're angry. We're all angry." I can tell he's listening to her because he doesn't try to look at me anymore. Hannah keeps talking to him. "We need to go home now. You need..., I mean _we_ need, some time to cool off. This is going to get out of hand, Adam, and I know you don't want that to happen." Hannah looks down at me and says, "Heidi, get in the jeep. Adam, let's go." She pushes him a little towards the driver's side and whispers, "Adam, let's go. We can deal with this at home. Not here. Get in the jeep."

Adam gets in and Hannah looks down at me. I still feel like I'm frozen. She looks really serious when she says, "Heidi, get in the jeep. We're going home."

I turn around and climb up into the back seat. After Hannah gets in Adam starts the jeep. None of us says a word. It's a weird feeling. I'm not really sure what just happened, but I'm tired so I lean against the side of the jeep. It would probably be a bad idea to tell Adam he forgot to take the gum back. Yeah, I don't think that would be a good idea right now. I decide to close my eyes and once we're out on the road I fall asleep.

* * *

The next time I open my eyes it's because my head bangs against the side of the jeep. I sit up and look around. We're home. We're on our driveway and it's bumpy. I look at Adam and Hannah and it takes me a minute to figure out why I'm in the jeep with them, and not at the rodeo. I sigh because I remember why now. I remember everything.

As soon as Adam parks the jeep, I jump out of it and run to the house. I want to run to the river, or the pond, or the barn. Maybe I could ride away on Lucy. But I have a feeling that wouldn't be the best plan, so I run up the porch steps and to the front door. When I twist the doorknob and push on the door, it won't open. I try again, but it won't budge. It must be locked. Then I remember no one's home. No one but Adam, Hannah and me. I walk over to the bench by the front door and sit down to wait for them to come and unlock the door.

I stare into space while I wait. I feel funny. My stomach hurts and my throat hurts. It feels like I want to cry, but I don't know why. I feel mad too. Mad like I want to punch somebody, mad.

Adam and Hannah walk up the steps and Adam unlocks the front door. After they go inside they leave the door open for me and I walk in and rush by them on my way to the kitchen. I'm starving. I haven't eaten since breakfast and it's probably almost dinnertime now.

Once I'm in the kitchen I walk over to where the bread box is and open it. I take two pieces of bread out and get a plate from the cupboard to put them on. Hannah and Adam have followed me in here, but I'm gonna ignore them. I'm so hungry I have to make something to eat. I'm gonna make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

"What do you think you're doing?" Adam asks.

I ignore him and walk to the refrigerator to get the jelly out.

Adam puts his hand on the refrigerator door so I can't open it. "I asked you a question," he says.

"I'm making a sandwich." I pull on the handle, but he doesn't take his hand off the door so I still can't open it.

"Fine," I say out loud to myself, "I guess I won't have any jelly." I start to walk over to where we keep the peanut butter, but Adam won't let me. He takes my hand and leads me out into the living room with Hannah following behind us. He takes me over to the couch and lets go of my hand.

"Sit," he says as he gently pushes me on my shoulders so I have to sit down on the couch. Then he pulls the coffee table closer to the couch and sits on it. He's sitting right in front of me and our knees are almost touching. I groan because I hate it when he wants to talk to me like this. He's too close and the only place to look at is at him, so I pull my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around my legs and hug them close to me. I rest my cheek on my knees and stare out into space. Hannah sits down next to me so I turn my face the other way so I don't have to look at her.

"Put your legs down and look at me," Adam says.

"I'm too tired to," I tell him. "I'm resting."

"Are you sure you still want to act this way? Because if you want to play this little game of yours, you're going to lose."

"What game? I don't know what you're talking about."

"This game where you act mad and talk rudely to people," he says. "Because I've had enough of it today and I'm not putting up with it anymore."

"I didn't know I was playing a game." This interests me. "How do you know I'm gonna lose it? Maybe you're the one that's gonna to lose the game," I tell him.

"Oh, you're going to lose this little game today. If you don't believe me, just try me."

"How do you win at this game?" I ask. "Maybe you should tell me the rules first."

I think that made him mad because he yells, "knock it off! You know exactly what I'm talking about! Tell me what happened today! I want to know why you left Hannah!"

Now I'm bored. "I'm hungry," I tell him. "I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast, I mean besides all the candy Denise and I ate."

"You can eat when you're done talking."

"I don't have anything to talk about," I tell him.

"Yes you do. You have a lot of explaining to do."

"Can I go to my room?"

"No. Why did you leave Hannah?"

"I didn't. She left me."

"What are you talking about?" When I don't answer him he gets frustrated. I think that's what his voice sounds like. Frustrated. "Put your legs down and look at me!"

"I don't feel like it."

Adam reaches out and grabs my arms pulling me up to a standing position. He turns me to the side and spanks me once. Then he turns me so I'm facing him and he holds my arms with his hands. "Do you feel like it now?" He yells. "Because I can do this all night."

I sit back down, except this time I leave my feet on the floor. I fold my arms across my chest, glare at him and grit my teeth. I'm mad.

"Why are you saying Hannah left you?" He asks.

"Because she was gone when we went back to find her."

"Why did you leave her?"

"So I could see the parade better! Those stupid boys were bugging us! I didn't leave her, I went to the Mexican Restaurant! You know, the place where we _always_ watch the parade from?!"

"Why didn't you tell her you were going there?!" He yells. "If you don't tell her, _you're_ leaving _her_!"

"Because she was supposed to stay there! I keep saying that!" I look at Hannah and yell, "you weren't supposed to leave! I didn't tell you where I was going because I didn't want to bug you! You were too interested in talking to your friends, and you weren't even watching the parade!"

"That's no excuse Heidi," Hannah says. She's not smiling at me and she looks very serious. "You always tell an adult," she pauses and says, "no, you always _ask_ an adult if you can go somewhere."

"I don't see why I have to do that. Especially you! Why do I have to ask _you_?"

"No!" Adam yells. "Don't even go there! You know exactly why you have to ask Hannah if you can go somewhere! We've had this conversation many times now and I'm tired of you using it as an excuse for doing something wrong!"

I look down at my hands resting in my lap and say quietly, "I don't care what you think. You weren't even there."

"What?!"

I look up at him and pretend I didn't say anything. "What?"

"What did you just say?"

"I _said_, you weren't there!"

"What does that have to do with anything?!" He asks.

"A lot! _You_ left me alone! You left me alone with _her_!" I point at Hannah now and glare at her, but she doesn't turn her eyes away.

"What does that even mean?!" Adam yells. "You like Hannah! Why wouldn't you want to be alone with her?!"

"Because _she's_ not _you_!" I yell and then I start to cry pretty hard while I yell, "she's not Brian, or Crane, or Daniel or Evan or Ford! She's not Guthrie either! You all left me! All of you!" I cry. "_None_ of you came to watch the parade with me!"

They're both staring at me now. Not glaring, or angry, they look confused.

"Guthrie wanted to watch the parade with his friend, and Evan and Ford wanted to watch it with their friends! Crane wanted to watch it with Isabella and _her_ family! Not _our_ family, but someone else's family! You and Brian didn't even bother to come! Hannah, you didn't even watch the parade! And Daniel always has his band he has to practice with! Always! You didn't come to the parade so you left me!"

Hannah puts her hand on my knee. "Heidi, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know! Nothing!"

"This isn't nothing," she says. "This is something."

"It's nothing!" I push her hand off my knee. "Don't touch me!" I yell.

"Heidi," Adam says calmly in his very serious voice, "that was rude."

"Why?! She was touching me and I didn't want her to! If you think I'm being rude, then tell her not to touch me!"

Adam lifts me up again so I'm standing and he turns me to spank me two times hard. That makes me really mad. I turn to face him and yell. "Don't do that anymore!" I try to push him, but he holds my arms at my sides and looks into my eyes. His eyes look sad. Why don't they look mad? I look at Hannah and her eyes look sad too. Why are there tears in her eyes? "I don't understand this!" I yell. "I don't understand any of this!" I break away from his grip and push him and then I push at Hannah.

"You can't do that Heidi," Adam says softly and he turns me so I'm facing him and I have to look into his eyes. Why do they look so sad? Why can't his eyes look angry so my eyes can look angry back at him? I bet I can make them look angry!

"I don't care if I can't do that! What are you gonna do?! Spank me now?! That's what you both think I deserve so why don't you just do it and get it over with!"

Adam sighs and his eyes still don't look angry, they still look sad. Well, I'm not gonna stop until he's angry! He pulls me down and over his lap and starts to spank me.

"Let me go!" I yell as I try to get away. The spanks aren't that hard and I think he's on the fifth one when I yell, "these don't even hurt! So you lose the game!" The next spank feels hard, and it hurts. "Ow! Stop doing that!" I try to get away, but he's holding me down and he's way stronger than me. He starts spanking faster now, and the next one hurts worse than the last one too. "Let me go! I don't like this!" The next one feels even harder and it makes me cry. After two more hard spanks I can't stop crying. It hurts bad and I want it to stop. "Ok stop! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I yell while he spanks me two more times. Then he stops and I feel him rub my back now and I cry while I lay over his lap. I stay there for a little bit and then I slide down his legs so my knees are resting on the floor and my head rests on its side in his lap. He smoothes my hair back while I cry. It's the kind of crying that you can't stop. The kind of crying that makes your nose run and your cheeks all wet from tears. The kind of crying where your whole body gets sweaty and your face feels really hot. It's probably looks red too. I cry there at Adam's side kneeling with my head laying in his lap. He stops smoothing my hair back and rubs my back gently while I cry.

Then I take my head off his lap and sit down on the floor with my legs up to my chest and I hug myself so I'm in a little ball and I rock back and forth while I cry. I don't like this day. I don't like what just happened and I can feel Hannah kneeling down next to me as she puts her arms around me. Adam moves from the coffee table to the couch.

I know Hannah's talking, I'm not sure if she's talking to me or Adam because my brain can't hear the words. I wish I could stop crying. Hannah lets go of me and I wipe my face with my shirt, but the tears keep falling. I don't know what she's saying now, I just know I want to get out of here. I stand up and wipe my cheeks with my hands and I try to scoot by Hannah, but I can't. She won't move and now Adam puts his arms around me. I don't hug him back. I don't feel like it. I can't hear what he's saying either. All I can hear is my brain screaming for me to get out of here. To get away from them. I pull away from Adam and squeeze by Hannah so I can get away. I hear one of them call my name, but I'm not gonna look back. I'm gonna walk to the stairs and go up to my room. When I get halfway to the stairs I can hear Hannah now. "Heidi, wait. Come back and talk to us." I don't want to go back. I only want to go upstairs so I keep walking towards the stairs.

I can hear Adam say, "let her go. She's not listening to us right now anyway."

Now I can run. I can run fast and that's what I do. I run upstairs and into my room and throw myself on my bed. I just want to cry. I want to cry into my pillow and I don't want to talk to anyone. I want to be by myself. I move my pillow so I can I can hug it while I curl up in a little ball around it. Then I cry into my pillow until I fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up I can tell it's nighttime. I sit up and look around. My little pink lamp on top of my dresser is on and there's a plate next to it with a sandwich on it. Someone has taken my boots off and covered me up with my blanket. I look at my clock. 12:00. It's midnight. That time always scares me when I see it. Midnight is when Bloody Mary comes. I hear voices coming from downstairs so I get out of bed and walk to my doorway. I stay far back enough that I can hear them talking, but not so they can see me. I think everyone is home from the fairgrounds. Daniel sounds excited about something so I listen.

"I wish you could've been there Adam! Guthrie, Evan and Ford found out who Tanya's manager was and had him come meet me!"

Oh that's right. I was supposed to help them find her manager. It sounds like they did it themselves though.

"He listened to my song! They told him how Tanya was trying to steal my song, and he believed them!"

Guthrie yells excitedly, "it turns out, Tanya has tried to do that before!"

Daniel says, "her manager said Tanya's band has only come up with the one hit they recorded, and they haven't been able to come up with anything new since then. He said they've been trying to write songs, but their songs aren't good enough. He listened to my song Adam! He stayed to listen to our set and talked to me afterwords." Daniel has been talking fast, so he stops to catch his breath.

Hannah says, "well, tell us what happened!"

"He liked it! He liked us! He said I have a real talent for writing songs!"

It sounds like someone pats him on the back and Adam says, "I'm happy for you!"

Daniel says, "he said our band wasn't ready to make a record yet, though. We're not strong enough and he told us to keep practicing, but he said my song writing is good. He gave me some advice on how to make a few changes to my song to make it better."

"That's great Daniel," Hannah says.

"He gave me his card Adam! He said call him when my song is ready and I can either bring it to him in LA, or he'll give me his address and I can mail it to him."

"What's he going to do with it?" Adam asks.

"He's going to see if it's good enough for another band to sing it. If it is, he said he'll pay for my song, and if it's not ready yet, he'll give more advice on how to get it ready. Did you hear that?! He'd _pay_ me for my song!"

"That's great Daniel!" Adam says. "I'm glad you got a chance to meet him."

"I wouldn't have if it hadn't been for these guys." He must be pointing to Evan, Ford and Guthrie. "I should've told you guys what was going on, Adam. I didn't tell you but, Tanya was still trying to steal my song."

"I'm glad you at least told someone," Adam says.

"Me too. Adam, Tanya's manager told me to stay in school. He said he has a lot of nieces and nephews who want to be in the business and he tells them the same thing. He said the music industry will still be here when I'm done with high school."

"I think I like this manager of Tanya's," Adam says and I think he pats Daniel on the back because it sounds like somebody does.

"I'm gonna go work on my song!" Daniel says. He sounds so excited and he sounds really happy. I'm glad. I hear someone running up the stairs and I guess it's him because Adam yells, "slow down!" But he's not mad. He sounds happy when he yells, "don't stay up too late!"

"I won't!" Daniel yells. I run to my bed and jump on top of it. I can hear Daniel in the hallway now and when he walks by my room he looks inside on his way by. He stops when he sees I'm awake. "Can I come in?" He asks.

I nod my head and he comes in and sits down on my bed.

"I'm glad about your song Daniel. I hope Tanya's manager likes it and buys it." I wish I felt like smiling, but I don't. I feel sad right now.

"Heidi, the boys told me you were going to help them find Tanya's manager." I nod and he says, "thanks."

I try to smile, but I still can't.

"Would you do me a favor?" He asks.

"What?"

"Please don't touch my stuff anymore. Please don't take my songs and give them away."

I can tell he's really serious about that so I nod my head again.

He smiles and says, "thanks." Then he looks serious again and says, "I heard what happened at the parade."

I put my head down. If Daniel knows, that must mean they all know.

"Everyone was worried sick about you."

I look up at him and say, "I know."

"I'm glad they found you and you're ok."

"Daniel? Do you think I left Hannah? I only went to the Mexican restaurant where we always watch the parade from."

"Did you tell her you were going there?"

I shake my head no.

"Then you left her."

"But _she_ wasn't where we left her when we came back."

"Did you hear what you just said?" I stare at him because I'm not sure, and when I don't answer him, he says, "you said, _she_ wasn't where 'we left her'. It sounds like 'you' left her first and you weren't supposed to do that."

"But she left!"

"Because she didn't know where you were. She was trying to find you."

"Why didn't she just stay where she was then? We came back!"

"Because she didn't know that. She didn't know where you went, and she didn't know you were coming back. She thought you got lost in the crowd."

"But we didn't!"

"She didn't know that, Heidi. She looked for you and when she remembered you talking about watching the parade from the Mexican restaurant, she walked across the street to see if that's where you were."

"But we weren't at that one!"

"She didn't know that. Did you tell her which one you were going to?"

"No."

"Well, she thought you meant the one across the street."

"Why does Sonora have two Mexican restaurants on their main street? And why do they have to be right across the street from each other?! That doesn't make any sense!"

"I know, but that's the way it is. Both those restaurants must do good business, because they've been there ever since I can remember." Daniel stares at me now and we're both quiet for a minute. "Heidi, Hannah didn't know where you went and she was very worried about you."

I'm getting mad now. "Daniel, you're just taking her side!"

"No I'm not. When you go places with me I don't like it when you wander off. I worry about you, and when I find you I'm relieved."

"Well, Hannah wasn't relieved! She was mad. She's still mad!"

"She was to, relieved. But now she _is_ mad, because she knows what happened. You did something you weren't supposed to do. I would be mad at you too."

I kick at him with my foot. "You're taking her side! Just go!"

Daniel's eyes look sad now and I feel bad. He stands up and says, "I'll go, but I'm not taking her side. There aren't any sides here." He starts saying other stuff but I'm not listening. He thinks there aren't any sides? There are too sides! My side and her side! She should've known I wouldn't cross the street to go to the other..," Daniel interrupts me because I hear him call my name.

"Heidi? Heidi? Are you listening to me?"

He's not Adam so I don't have to say yes. "No I'm not listening!"

"Oh. Ok, I'm sorry you think I'm taking sides. I wish you would listen to me, but I think you're too mad right now."

"You're not in charge of me so I don't have to listen to you!"

"I know. I'm not saying I am in charge of you. Just..., I just wish you would listen, that's all." He looks at me and his eyes still look sad. "Goodnight," he says and he leaves.

I feel really sad now. I don't know why I feel so mad one minute, and then so sad the next. I think I hurt Daniel's feelings. I get off my bed and stand near my doorway again.

I hear Brian downstairs asking if I'm upstairs.

"Yes," Adam says. "She's sleeping. It's been a long day for her."

"For you too," Brian says. "You guys should get some sleep too. You look exhausted."

Crane says, "what did she say happened?"

"She's blaming this on Hannah right now."

"Why?" Crane asks.

"I don't know," Adam says. "I don't know what's going on with her. She leaves Hannah and then blames Hannah for leaving to go look for her. It doesn't make any sense. She was rude to us and stubborn and strong-willed, and a whole bunch of other things. None of them nice. I think she's mad none of us went to the parade with her. I think she's mad at all of us, not just Hannah."

"What do you mean?" Crane asks.

"She's mad at you, Crane, for seeing the parade with Isabella. She said you were seeing it with someone else's family, and not ours. I think more specifically, not her."

Crane says, "I guess I can see why that would upset her. Did any of us watch the parade with her?"

"No," Hannah says. "I didn't watch it with her either."

"It seems like she's been mad at all of us lately," Brian says. "Do you think it's a phase? You know, one of those girl phases girls seem to go through?"

"I don't know," Adam says.

"I don't know either," Hannah says. "You guys know her a lot better than I do."

Guthrie says, "maybe it's because you're a girl, Hannah, and she's not used to a girl telling you what to do."

"I don't know. The one thing I do know," Adam says, "is she can't treat people the way she's been treating Hannah lately. It seems like some sort of power struggle is going on."

"Oh, you mean like when I came back from college?" Crane asks.

"Yes. Only this is worse. Probably because you came home on weekends a lot when you were in college so she was used to you being in charge somewhat."

"Now she's got a fourth adult telling her what to do," Crane says.

"That kid doesn't like anyone telling her what to do," Brian says and they laugh a little bit.

"No kidding," Adam says. "None of you guys liked me telling you what to do after Mom and Dad died. But after a while you got used to it. She's been the most difficult out of all you guys and she never knew Mom and Dad. The only people she knew telling her what to do was Brian and me. She's used to that, and she got used to you Crane, when you came home from college."

"I guess she's not used to me yet," Hannah says.

"She does what you tell her to do most of the time," Adam says. "I don't know what's so different about now. I swear I was ready to wring her neck today. Hannah was too."

"I probably would've," Brian says.

"She was so rude," Adam says.

"She's not admitting this was her fault either," Hannah says. "She's blaming it on me. It's like she doesn't see what she did was wrong."

Now I'm really mad! I don't know what she's talking about. This _is_ all her fault! I start to cry because I don't understand why they can't see that. They're my brothers. They're supposed to be on my side, not hers! I step out into the hallway and yell, "just so you know, I can hear you! I can hear everything you say about me! I know all of you want to wring my neck too! I don't like 'any' of you anymore!" I stomp back into my room and slam my door closed. Then I cry. I fall down on the floor on my knees and cover my face with my hands and cry.

* * *

The next time I wake up it's three in the morning. I feel really bad when I remember I told everyone I hate them. I sit up and start to cry. I wish yesterday never happened, I don't know how to make the bad feelings go away. Usually if I wake up at this time of night and I'm scared Adam hears me crying and comes into my room. Then he sits with me until I go back to sleep. I'm not scared right now, but I'm crying. I don't think he's gonna come to my room if he hears me crying though. He's mad at me and doesn't like me anymore. That's why he spanked me. Hannah's mad at me too, so she won't come either. I need someone to hug so I get out of bed and go stand in the hallway.

If Adam doesn't hear me crying and come to my room, I usually go into his. I can't do that now. I need to find someone else. I can go to Brian, but he's snoring and his bed is too crowded because he shares it with Guthrie. That leaves Crane so I walk down to his room and go inside. It's dark in their room so I let my eyes adjust and then I walk over to Crane's bunk. He sleeps on the bottom and I crawl over his feet so I'm on the wall side and I crawl up to his pillow.

"Crane," I whisper. I shake him a little bit. "Crane," I whisper again.

"What?" He asks. "What are you doing in here Heidi?" He sounds tired.

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Are you scared?" He asks.

"No. I'm sad."

Crane rolls over onto his side and says, "lay down."

I get under the covers and lay down next to him. He puts his arm around me and I snuggle up next to him.

"Go to sleep now," he whispers and he kisses the top of my head. "Go to sleep."

* * *

When I wake up it's morning and I'm in my own bed. I don't remember getting in bed, so Crane must've put me in it. I sit up and stretch. I guess I should get up. I wonder where everyone else is. My guess is, the rodeo. It's the last day, and I know Daniel's band is playing again tonight. I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday. They're pretty dirty, but I don't care. I get out of bed and walk to my doorway and look out. I don't see anyone which is good, because I don't want to talk to anyone. What time is it anyway? 10:00! Wow, I wonder why I slept in so late because I've slept a lot since yesterday.

I'm starving too. The sandwich is still on top of my dresser so I go get it. The bread doesn't feel soft anymore so I'm not gonna eat it. I'll go get something else to eat. When I walk out of my room I do it quietly. If someone is in the house, I don't want to talk to them. Someone should be inside because I'm not allowed to stay in the house by myself anymore.

I walk down the stairs slowly, making sure not to step on too many creaky places on the steps. I make it to the living room with nobody seeing me or hearing me. Now I just have to make sure no one is in the kitchen. I tiptoe over to it and peek in. I breathe out a big sigh of relief, I didn't even know I was holding my breath, but I was. No one's in the kitchen so I walk in and look around.

Usually someone leaves some breakfast on the table for me, but I don't see anything. I don't even see any dirty dishes that show me what they even had for breakfast. That's weird. I guess I'll have to make something. Maybe I can make some pancakes. That's easy to make. I get out the ingredients and mix them all together. When I start to turn the stove on I remember I'm not supposed to cook anything without someone watching me. I feel like crying. Where is everybody? I'm hungry! I'm gonna have to make a sandwich.

I get the bread out and look for some lunchmeat in the refrigerator. I can't find any so I get the jelly out. I guess I have to make peanut butter and jelly.

When I have my sandwich made I carry it out the back door to the porch and sit on the steps to eat it. It's hot outside. Maybe Guthrie's home and we can go to the pond and swim. I hear someone walking up the front porch steps so I get up and sneak around the porch so I can see who's coming inside. I peek around the corner and find Adam and Brian walking up the steps. They don't go inside yet though. They stand by the front door.

"Do you think she's awake yet?" Brian asks.

"I hope so. I've got things to do today and babysitting isn't one of them," Adam says.

What does he mean by that? I don't want to be babysat either! I'm not a baby!

"If she's not awake, I'm going to wake her up. I've done everything I had to do in the barn. I need to get out to the north pasture and get that fence fixed while it's in the shade. I need your help too," Adam says.

"Are we taking her with us?" Brian asks.

"You think I'm going to let her stay in the house by herself?!"

Brian laughs a little and says, "no, I was just joking."

I'm mad now. It sounds like they're making fun of me again.

"Come on, let's go wake the little rug rat up. She better be in a better mood today, because if anything sarcastic or rude comes out of her mouth she won't be sitting down for a week!" Adam says.

What does he mean by that? He's calling me a rug rat again too!

"Why don't you let me keep her away from you for a while," Brian says. "Just to make sure she's in a better mood."

"I need your help with the fence, and that has to be done now. We don't have a choice except to take her with us. It's getting close to the hottest part of the day so we need to get out there soon."

"Ok, I just thought maybe it would help for me to talk to her a little bit before we go out and work," Brian says.

"Brian, I don't have time for this! You think I want to take her out there with us?! She's gonna make this job take double the time with all the questions she's gonna ask and the wandering off she's gonna do!"

"Ok, ok, I know, I'm not that thrilled with taking her out there with us either. Let's just get her up and get this over with."

They both walk inside the house now and I wipe my cheeks with my hand. I didn't even realize I'd been crying. I've only eaten about half my sandwich, but I'm not hungry anymore. I'm sad and mad and I don't want to be around them either! I throw my sandwich down on the porch and run down the porch steps. I'm gonna go hide. They don't want to be around me, and I don't want to be around them! I start to run to the barn but then I stop. That's the first place they're gonna look. If I go hide in the loft like a usually do, they're gonna find me real fast. I look around to decide what to do. I have to think fast because it's not going to take them long to figure out I'm not inside the house. I look at the big oak tree in front of the house. I'll hide there and when they go out to the barn I'll run into the house. I run to the tree and climb as fast as I can. I'll be able to hide up here and they won't see me. Guthrie and I hide up here all the time.

I find a good spot and wait. It doesn't take long for the front door to open and for Adam to come out yelling my name. I hear Brian doing the same from the back porch. He comes around the house and says, "she's not back here."

"Dang it! Why does she have to do this?! She knows she's not supposed to go anywhere by herself!"

"Relax Adam. She's probably in the barn talking to Lucy, or hiding up in the loft. We'll get her and be out to the fence in no time."

"She'd better be in the barn! She better not be out at the pond, or the river, or who knows where! I am so mad at her right now!"

Adam keeps yelling while he walks out to the barn with Brian. They're walking fast so I don't have much time. As soon as they're inside I climb down and run to the house. I'm gonna call Denise! I'm gonna run away, and since Guthrie's not here to run away with me, I bet Denise will. She's probably in just as much trouble as I am. All I have to do is walk to her house. I know it's far, but I've walked home from school before when I've missed the bus. I'm not supposed to walk by myself, and I've never walked _to_ town before, but I don't care right now. They don't want to be around me and I don't want to be around them!

I run into the house and over to the big desk in the living room. I pick up the phone and dial Denise's number. I hope she answers. If her mom or dad answers I'm hanging up.

"Hello?" It's Denise!

"Hi Denise, it's me Heidi."

"Hi," she whispers. "I don't think I'm supposed to talk to you right now. My Mom asked me to answer the phone because she's busy. What do you want?"

"I have to run away. Will you come with me?" The phone is quiet. "Please?"

"I can't," she whispers.

"Why not? Aren't you in trouble?"

"Yes! I'm in a lot of trouble!"

"Don't you want to run away then?" I ask her.

"I can't! Then I'll be in more trouble."

"Only if they find us."

Denise is quiet then until she says, "when have you ever run away and they _haven't_ found you?"

I never thought about that before. "Please will you run away with me. My family is mad at me and they hate me! All of them!"

"I can't Heidi."

"Why not?!" I'm starting to get mad at her now.

"It's Mother's Day today. I can't do that to my mom on Mother's Day. She'd be so sad."

"Why does that matter?!" I yell.

"Because she's my mom!" Denise isn't whispering anymore.

"Then you're not my friend anymore!"

"Heidi, don't say that. We're best friends."

"Maybe we're not anymore!"

"Why? Because I have a mom and want to stay home with her on Mother's Day, and you don't have one?"

That makes me cry.

Denise says, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound like that."

"We're not friends anymore!" I yell and I hang up the phone. I sit down in the desk chair and cry. Now what do I do? My family doesn't like me and neither does my best friend. My ex best friend! I wish Guthrie was here. He'd run away with me.


	13. Chapter 13

**I just want to say a quick thank you for reading my story and for those of you who review, thank you! I love reading them!**

* * *

I stare at the phone. Why won't Denise run away with me? Isn't she mad at her Mom and Dad? Who cares if it's Mother's Day! Why should that matter?! It's just like any other day. We've never even celebrated it before! It sounds like a dumb day! What are people supposed to do if they don't have a Mom? Nothing, that's what! Why does Denise care what her Mom thinks anyways? She yelled at her yesterday!

I feel like crying. My best friend, no, my ex-best friend would rather spend her day with her Mom than with me! Why'd she have to go and remind me I don't have a Mom? I guess I'll just run away by myself then! I run upstairs to my room because I'm going to need to pack a few things. And I'm definitely gonna need to bring my BB gun!

* * *

When I get to my room I kneel down on the floor to get my BB gun out from underneath my bed. I'll have to sneak into the barn to get some BBs. I throw my gun on my bed and look around my room. My jacket. I'm definitely going to bring my jacket. I've run away enough times to know it gets cold after the sun goes down. My jacket is under my bed too. I haven't needed it lately since the weather's been so hot. I look for that underneath my bed and grab it and throw it on top of my bed. Should I bring my pillow? No, that would be too hard to carry. I open my dresser drawers and look through them.

I don't think I need to bring any clothes so I shut the drawers and sit on my bed. Maybe I should bring a sleeping bag. I've never brought one before, and it sure would be nice to have one. How would I carry it? I'll have to bring my flashlight too. I get down on the floor again to look for my flashlight under my bed. I keep everything important under there along with a whole bunch of other stuff. While I'm looking for it I hear the front door open.

"Heidi!" Adam yells. "Are you in here!"

"I'll check upstairs," Brian says.

Oh no! Maybe I can hide under my bed! I start to scoot on my stomach under my bed. Why do I have so much stuff under here?! I try to move things out of the way and I get halfway under the bed when I hear Brian come into my room.

"She's up here!" He yells down to Adam. Brian takes ahold of my ankles and drags me out. "What are you doing?"

I sit up and stare at him. I'm not sure what to say. I'm not going to tell him I'm running away, that's for sure. Brian looks at my bed and then back down at me.

Adam is in my doorway now and he says, "where have you been?! We've been looking all over for you!" I just stare up at him.

"It looks like she's planning on running away," Brian says. "BB gun, jacket, flashlight in her hand, looks like running away to me."

I glare at him.

"You're not running away right now," Adam says. "Get up, we're going out to work in the pasture." He turns around to leave and Brian still stares down at me, probably because I haven't gotten up yet.

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" He asks.

"Why do I have to go?" I ask him. "You don't want me to go, and I don't want to go."

"You can't stay here by yourself. That's why." He holds his hand out for me to take and I stare at it.

"I can get up by myself," I tell him and I stand up. "Can I bring my BB gun?"

"No."

"Why not?!"

"Because I don't feel like getting shot with BBs today."

"I'm not gonna shoot you!" I yell.

"I know you're not gonna shoot me on purpose. I just don't want to get shot accidentally," he says.

"I won't do that either," I tell him.

"You can't bring it."

"Then what _can_ I bring?"

"Yourself. Let's go, Adam's waiting."

"I don't care if he's waiting! I don't care if..,"

Brian interrupts me and says, "Heidi, don't start."

"Don't start what?"

Brian kneels down in front of me and says, "look, Adam isn't too happy with you today. We've got work to do and we don't feel like dealing with you being mad and rude."

I fold my arms across my chest and glare at Brian. "Well, maybe I don't feel like dealing with Adam being mad, or rude!"

Brian glares at me and says, "if I were you, I'd knock it off and get downstairs!"

Adam yells from downstairs. "Let's go! We don't have all day!"

Brian stands up and I say quietly, "_I_ have all day!"

"I heard that," Brian says. He swats my bottom to push me towards my door and I spin around and yell at him.

"Don't do that! Don't ever, ever, ever, do that!"

"What?" He asks.

"Spank me!"

"I didn't _spank_ you. I just swatted you."

"Well don't do that again!"

"Heidi, what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing! Just don't do that!" I push him and when he stares at me, his eyes look confused.

"Ok, I won't do that," he says. "I just don't know what the big deal is."

"The big deal is, I DON'T LIKE IT!"

Brian's eyes look even more confused. "Ok, Heidi. Let's go downstairs now, Adam's waiting for us."

I glare at him and when I don't move he glares back at me and says, "I'll swat you again if you don't start moving your butt downstairs."

I grab my BB gun off my bed and start to leave but he takes it out of my hand. "This stays here," he says.

"Ok, but I'm gonna be bugging you guys an awful lot if I don't have something to do!"

He glares at me and then picks my BB gun up and hands it to me. "Don't shoot me with this."

I take it and follow him out of my room. When Adam sees my BB gun he says, "oh no, you're not taking that with you!"

"Brian said I could," I tell him.

Adam looks up at Brian and Brian says, "just let her. It'll give her something to do."

Adam says, "ok." But I can tell he doesn't want to let me bring it. "You'd better not shoot us with that thing," he says.

I just stare at him while I walk down the stairs. I'm not making any promises.

* * *

We take the jeep out on the pasture and over to the area of the fence that needs to be fixed. When we get there, I can tell the fence is in pretty bad shape. It seems like my brothers always have a section of fence that needs to be fixed. I don't know why they can't just buy or build a stronger fence.

They get out of the jeep and Adam looks up at the sky. "We should be able to get this fixed before the shade goes away." They get their tools out from the back of the jeep and carry them over to the fence. I jump out of the jeep with my BB gun and follow them. I bring my extra BBs with me and find a spot in the shade away from the broken part of the fence.

"Stay there Heidi, and don't wander off," Adam says.

I glare at his back. I'm not going to wander off! I _never_ wander off! Sometimes I just don't notice I've walked away.

Brian and Adam get started working on the fence. I'm already bored and we've only been here for a minute. I climb under the barbed wire fence so I'm not on the pasture side anymore. There's a bunch of oak trees over here on this side, so that's why the fence they're working on is in the shade. I guess I could climb one. I think I'll climb up and bring my BB gun with me. You never know what you can find to shoot while you're up high.

I climb up and find a good place to sit. I can see Adam, Brian and our pasture on one side and when I look on the other side of the fence I see a bunch of trees and bushes. There's a cool breeze up here which is good because it's a hot day.

"Where's Heidi?!" I hear Adam say, only it's more like a yell.

"Relax," Brian says, "she's up in the tree." He points to me and Adam yells, "make sure you stay where we can see you. If you can see us, we can see you."

Brian yells, "if you can't see us, we can't see you."

I ignore them. I already know that, why do they pretend like I don't. I cock my BB gun and look for something to shoot. I don't like shooting at animals. Guthrie and I shot a bird once and it didn't die. It was hurt and it hobbled on the ground in a little circle. It made us cry and Crane had to kill it to put it out of its misery. That's when he told us BBs don't usually kill small animals in one shot.

I look around for something to shoot, like a small broken branch hanging from a tree that will fall off if I shoot it. Found one! It's in the next tree over so I aim and shoot. One shot! I have really good aim. Brian taught me how to shoot when I was really little. The little branch falls down to the ground and I look around for another one. After shooting at a few more branches and missing, I'm bored. I sigh and look down at Adam and Brian.

It doesn't look like they've fixed _anything_ on the fence yet! I let go of my gun and let it drop to the ground. Then I climb down. I jump down the last little way and pick up my gun and walk over to them.

"When are you gonna be finished?" I ask.

They don't even look at me, they just keep working and Brian says, "when we're done."

"It doesn't look like you've done anything yet. What have you guys been doing this whole time?!" Now they both look at me and they look a little mad. I take a step backwards. "I was just wondering," I tell them. They get back to work and don't answer me, but they talk to each other about how to fix the fence.

I walk away from them along the fence line for a little bit. There's a bee sitting on the barbed wire. Maybe I could shoot it! I aim my gun right at it so it's about three inches away from it and shoot. I hit it and it falls off the fence and I laugh because it looked so funny. I don't know if I killed it or not because I didn't see where it went. Maybe it flew away. I sigh because now I'm bored again. I walk back over to my brothers.

"I'm bored." They're still talking to each other so they either don't hear me or they're ignoring me. "I'm bored!" I say a little louder. I see a fly on the fence and I raise my gun over my head and swing it down hard on the fence. The fly flew away and I'm bored again. "I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored," I say while I hit the fence with my BB gun. It's kind of like a song now and I'm not really paying attention to what I'm doing. I'm just having fun singing and hitting the fence with my gun.

"Would you stop that!" I hear Adam yell.

I stop hitting the fence and look over at him. "What?" I ask.

"What you're doing!" He yells. "Stop saying you're bored and stop hitting the fence!"

"Why? I'm way over here. Way, way, way far away from you." That's not really the truth, but I'm not standing right where they're working.

"Not far enough!" Adam yells.

"That's not nice!" I yell. "You told me to stay where you could see me. Besides, I know you don't want me to be out here with you, and guess what?! I don't want to be out here with 'you' either! Both of you!"

"Then be quiet and let us finish so we can go back home!" Adam yells.

"Ok, but you should know it's gonna be very hard not to accidentally shoot you with my BB gun now!"

"That's it!" Adam yells. He starts walking towards me fast. He looks mad. Really, really mad! I guess I shouldn't have said that. Brian runs up to Adam and makes him stop.

"Hold on Adam. Let me take care of this," he says and Adam stands still while Brian runs up to me.

"Look kid, you're getting on our nerves. Especially Adam's. Put your gun in the jeep and..,"

"Why?!"

"Because we don't want you to _accidentally_ shoot us! That was a really dumb thing you just said! Put it in the jeep and find something else to do!"

"Like what?!"

"I don't know. Something that doesn't bug us. _Anything_ that doesn't bug us. Just remember, if you can't see us, we...,"

"I know, I know! You can't see me!" I stomp over to the jeep thinking about what Brian just said. I bet I could find somewhere where I could see them, but they couldn't see me. I look around. There's a bush by the fence that would be perfect to hide in. I throw my gun in the back of the jeep and walk back over to the fence.

I watch them carefully. I have to make sure they don't see me go into the bush. I slowly back up to the bush until I feel it on my back and then I duck down and carefully back into it. I try not to make any noises like snapping branches off. I back up until I think I'm hidden and then I look around to find a good place to sit.

The bush is taller than me and it's got a lot of leaves. It's one of those bushes you can't really see inside of, but once you go inside the bush there's room to move around a little. I sit down on the ground and watch Adam and Brian through the leaves. I bet they can't see me and I smile. I find a little stick to play with and I dig in the ground with it. I bet I'm gonna be in here for a while.

I was right. I don't know how long I've been in the bush and I haven't been watching Adam and Brian either. I've made a road in the dirt with my stick for ants to follow. I've got about ten ants following my road as I make it longer. I stop when I hear my name being called.

"Heidi!" Adam yells. I look over at him and he's looking around. He looks mad! I was right! I can see them, but they can't see me! Adam talks to Brian and says, "where do you think she wandered off this time?! Heidi!"

I come out of the bush and laugh. "You couldn't see me! You said if I can see you, you can see me! But you couldn't!" I can hear Brian laugh a little bit, but not Adam. He looks mad again so I say, "what? Don't you think that's kind of funny?"

"No I don't think it's funny!"

"I kind of do," Brian says. "She's got a point." Adam glares at _him_ now. "What?" Brian asks. "I'm just saying I think what she did was kind of funny."

"You think this is funny?! This isn't funny! _She's_ not funny!"

Now I'm mad again. "Why are you being so mean today!" I yell at Adam. "I'm bored and there's nothing for me to do! I'm ten years old! What'd you expect?!" I only said that because I heard Hannah say that once to Adam when he took me out to work with him and got mad at me for bugging him when he didn't let me help or bring anything to do. Kind of like today. "I haven't wandered off and I haven't asked you a whole bunch of questions! I didn't even shoot you with my BB gun!"

"She's got a point Adam," Brian says. "You have been kind of grumpy towards her today."

Adam sighs and says, "I don't want to talk about this now. I just want to get this fence fixed and get back to the house."

I'm still mad at Adam but I find a place to sit in the shade and watch them fix the fence. Maybe they'll let me help them. I'll ask Brian, because I have no interest in talking to Adam for the rest of the day. If he's gonna be grumpy and mad at me, I'm going to ignore him. I get up and walk over to them.

"Brian?"

"What?"

"Can I help you?"

Adam says, "no."

"Brian, can I help _you_?" I ask again. I wasn't talking to Adam.

"Sure. Hold this for me." He holds out the pliers for me to take. He does something with the barbed wire and then says, "twist this end right here." I take the pliers and twist the wire the way he wants me to. "Good," he says. "That's perfect. Now twist this." He holds another piece for me to twist. This is fun. I help Brian as much as I can and do everything he tells me to do.

When the fence is finally fixed Adam and Brian pick up their tools and walk over to the jeep. Once the tools are in back we get in the jeep and ride back to the house.

* * *

"Can I go to the pond?" That's the first question I ask as soon as we're out of the jeep. When Adam starts to answer I say, "'Brian' can I go to the pond?"

"Not by yourself," he says. I follow them to the barn. They need to put the tools away in there.

"Will you go with me?" I ask.

"No. I have work to do."

"You always have work to do, Brian. What are you gonna work on now?"

"The hay bales."

"Why?"

"They need to be moved."

"Can I help?" I ask.

"No," Adam says. He stills sounds mad and I'm still mad at him.

"Brian, can I help _you_?"

"No, they're too heavy for you." Brian starts to walk out of the barn so I follow him. I think he's going to the house.

"Can I stay inside the house?" I ask.

"Not by yourself," Brian reminds me.

"Then what _can_ I do?"

"I don't know, what do you want to do?"

"I want to go swimming." Then a great idea pops into my head. "Can I make a swimming pool?!" Guthrie and I have been talking about doing that a lot lately.

"I guess so."

"Thanks!" I run to the barn to get a shovel and the big blue tarp. Guthrie said we just have to dig a deep enough hole for however big we want the pool to be, lay the blue tarp over it and then fill it with water.

As soon as I get back in the barn I see Adam near the tack room. I'm just gonna ignore him. All I have to do is get in, get a shovel and the tarp, and get out. I walk as quiet and as fast as I can over to the shovels. I grab one and turn around ready to run outside but Adam calls my name.

"Heidi, what are you doing with that?"

"What?"

He looks a little angry at me when he says, "the shovel in your hand!"

"I'm gonna dig."

"I know you're going to dig. Dig what?"

"A hole."

He sighs and says, "where, and why?"

"Brian said I could."

He sighs again and says, "that's not an answer to my question." Adam walks towards me slowly. I can tell from the look in his eyes he wants to talk. I don't want to talk to him though. I'm still mad at him and I know he's still mad at me.

"I asked where you were going to dig a hole and why. Why won't you talk to me?" He asks.

Because I'm mad at you! I want to scream, but I don't. I look up at him and shrug my shoulders.

"Heidi, we still need to talk about yesterday."

I sigh. He's not gonna let me go dig a swimming pool, is he.

"Heidi, I ...," he starts to talk to me, but Brian runs in with some gloves in his hand and says, "ready Adam!"

They must be working on moving the hay bales together. When Adam turns to look at Brian, I run out of the barn with the shovel. I don't see what there is to talk about from yesterday. Hannah left me, Adam spanked me, and now he doesn't like me. Neither does Hannah. What's there to talk about?

* * *

I run over to the front of the house and look for a good place to dig. I find a good spot under the big oak tree and start digging. It's hard. The ground is hard and dry. This is gonna be harder than I thought. There are tree roots in the way too. Big ones. I try to break one with the shovel by pounded on it, but it doesn't work. I stop working and look around. I know the perfect place! There's a muddy spot over by the tractor. I bet if I dug there, it'd be easier. I run over the driveway and to the side of the tractor.

There's a good sized muddy spot so I dig and it's so easy! I dig and dig and dig. After a while I have a hole wide enough for me to sit cross-legged in, but it's not very deep. I keep working hard and the ground gets wetter the deeper I dig. It's easier to dig, but heavier to pick up. I work really hard and stop to take a break.

My swimming pool is deep enough to come up to my knees. It's wide enough for me to lay down in now, but that's it. There's no room to swim around in it. I'll have to dig more. It's really hot outside and I'm sweating a lot. I can't wait to fill my pool with water and lay in it. I start digging again to make my pool wider. This is hard work, but it's gonna be worth it!

The next time I stop to take a break my pool is a little deeper and I think it's wide enough for two people to sit in now. That should be wide enough, I just have to dig deeper. I start digging again and after a few more shovelfuls of mud I hit something hard. It's a rock. I tap it with the shovel and then scrape away the mud from the top of it so I can see how big it is. It's a reddish brown rock. It's hard to tell how big it is. Hopefully if I hit it hard enough with the tip of the shovel, it'll break in half and I can take it out.

I raise the shovel up above the rock a few inches and bring it down on the rock as hard as I can. It makes a loud thud, but doesn't break. I hit it again, and again, and again. I have to stop and rest for a little bit. I wipe the sweat off my forehead. Sometimes I wish I was a boy so I could take my shirt off. My brothers always take their shirts off when they get hot and sweaty.

After a little rest I hit at the rock again. It makes a loud thud again but a little bit of reddish rock scrapes off. Maybe I'm weakening it! I hit it again, and again, and again. "Why... won't... this... stupid... rock ...break?!" I yell while I hit the rock hard with each word I say. I lift the shovel up and bring it straight down as hard as I can. "Break!" I yell and I hear a thud sound that's different than the others and it feels like I broke the rock! One more hard hit should do it! I lift the shovel above the rock and bring it down as hard as I can onto the rock and I feel the rock give way a little and water starts squirting up! It's like a sprinkler!

I laugh and throw the shovel down on the ground. The water is spraying up as high as my chest and I turn around in a circle letting the water fall down on me. The water is cold and it feels so good as it cools me off. I should break the rock even more! Maybe the water will spray up really high then! I grab the shovel and start hitting at the rock again. Pieces of it come apart but it doesn't make the water spray up higher it just makes the water spill out instead of up, so it's like I'm filling the pool up with a hose. I guess I don't need the hose now. Or the tarp.

I kick my boots off and splash around in the muddy water as the pool fills up. It's dirty, but it cools me off. I wish the water would come out faster. I sit down on the edge and roll my jeans up. I should probably change into shorts, but I'm having too much fun right now to stop and go inside. Besides, my jeans are already wet. They're not soaked, but they're wet.

The water level is up to my ankles now and I can't see the broken rock anymore. I wish Guthrie was here to play with me. Maybe I should make the pool bigger. I walk across to the other side where I left the shovel and slip in the mud. I fall backwards onto my butt in the pool. My jeans are soaked now, so it doesn't matter if more of me gets wet so I splash around for a little while until I hear someone calling my name. I think it's Brian.

"Coming!" I yell. I climb out of my swimming pool and put my boots on. It's hard to do with wet feet, but eventually I get them on and I run to the house.

"Where've you been?" Brian asks. "I've been calling you for five minutes."

"I had to put my boots on."

"What happened to you?!" Brian laughs and says, "you look like a rug rat!"

Hmm. I've heard that word before. Adam told Hannah I was a rug rat when he didn't know I was listening. "Don't call me that!" I yell at him. "It's not nice!" I look up at him and say, "I think."

"Sorry. You seem really sensitive today," Brian says.

I don't understand what that means. "Is that good, or bad?" I ask.

"Never mind," he says. That must mean it's bad. "How'd you get so wet?"

I smile at him and say, "I made a swimming pool!" I take his hand and pull on it. "Do you want to come see it?!" I try to pull him towards the pool, but he says no. "Adam's looking for you."

I let go of his hand and look down at the ground. "Oh. What does he want?" I hope he doesn't want to talk about yesterday.

"I don't know, he's talking on the telephone." Brian turns around and I follow behind him up to the house.

When we walk inside Adam is still talking on the phone. "Hold on," he says into the phone, "I'll ask her." Adam covers the part of the phone you talk into with his hand and asks, "did you call Denise today?"

I stare at him. I wonder why he wants to know that. I don't know what to say so I don't say anything.

He asks me again. "Did you call and talk to Denise today?"

"Who are you talking to?" I ask him.

"Denise's Mom."

"Why?"

"Because she says Denise has been crying all day about something you said on the phone to her, and her Mom wants to know why she's so upset."

I shrug my shoulders.

"You don't know?" He asks. I can tell by the tone in his voice that he doesn't believe me.

I shake my head at him.

Adam moves his hand and talks into the phone. "Can I call you back, Judy? Let me talk to Heidi for a minute and find out what's going on." He hangs up the phone and looks at me. I think he just noticed I'm wet because he asks me about it. "How'd you get all wet? Is that mud in your hair?" He starts to walk towards me I guess to see if it's mud in my hair and I take a step back. He stops and says, "what's wrong?"

I don't say anything. I just stare up at him.

"She made a pool," Brian tells him. "She dug a hole in the ground."

That seems to be a good enough answer for Adam so he asks, "did you call Denise today?" When I don't answer him he starts to look mad. "Whats going on Heidi? Why is Denise so upset and why is her Mom calling?"

I shrug my shoulders.

"You don't know? I find that very hard to believe! I'm starting to get mad now! Did you call her today?!"

He's yelling so loud so I yell back. "Yes! Yes I called her today!"

"Why is she crying?"

"I don't know! Why don't you ask _her_ that?!"

I start crying and Adam doesn't look as mad now. He takes a step towards me but stops when I move away from him. He kneels down where he is so we can see eye to eye. "Heidi, what's wrong? Why is Denise upset? Don't you want to help your friend?"

That makes me madder so I yell, "she's not my friend!"

"What are you talking about?" Adam asks. "You guys are best friends."

I cry and yell, "not anymore!"

"Heidi, can I hug you?" Adam asks.

"No! Just stay away from me!"

Brian is standing behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Hey," he says, "calm down."

Adam asks, "what's wrong? Why are you mad at Denise?"

"I don't like her anymore so she's NOT MY FRIEND! Are you listening to me?!" I clench my hands into tight fists and hold my arms straight at my sides.

"Why isn't she your friend anymore?" He asks.

"She just isn't!"

Adam sighs and stands up. "I'll call her Mom."

"What are you gonna tell her?"

"What you just said. Denise isn't your friend anymore."

"No! You can't tell her Mom that!" Then Denise's Mom won't like me either. I guess that doesn't matter though.

"Why can't I tell her that?"

"You just can't!"

"Well, I'm gonna." He walks back over to the phone and looks at me. "What's her number?"

"I'm not telling you!"

"I'll just have to look it up then." He gets the phone book out and opens it.

I start to run towards Adam as I yell, "you can't do that! Don't call her!"

Brian stops me though and spins me around. "What's gotten in to you?" He asks.

I cry and yell, "nothing!"

Brian sighs and gives me a hug while I cry. Then he says, "Heidi, go get washed up. We're leaving for Sonora soon."

"Why? Where are we going?"

"To the fairgrounds," he says.

"We're going to the rodeo?!" I yell excitedly. That makes me feel real excited.

"We're going to meet up with everyone for dinner. Go get washed up."

That's the best news I've heard all day! I run upstairs to go get changed.

* * *

Up in my room I start peeling my wet clothes off and throw them on the floor. Jeans are hard to take off when they're soaked. I can hear Adam talking so I open my door a little and stand there to listen.

"She said Denise isn't her friend anymore," Adam says. I think he's talking on the phone. He must be talking to Denise's Mom. I wish he didn't do that! Now Denise's Mom and Dad are gonna hate me too! I am so mad at Denise! Why wouldn't she run way with me? Why is staying home with her Mom on Mother's Day so important? It's just like any other day of the year except you give her a card and a dumb flowerpot!

I kick my door closed and peel my wet underwear off and throw it on the floor with my other wet clothes. I've got speckles of wet, black dirt all over my body, but my clothes will cover all that up when I get dressed.

There's a knock on my door and Brian says, "Heidi, are you ready? We've got to go soon."

"Almost!" I yell back. "I just have to get dressed." I run to my dresser and pull out clean clothes and throw them on my bed. While I'm doing that I see my jacket and flashlight and remember my plan of running away. I sigh. I guess I'll have to run away later tonight.

"Did you get all the dirt off of you?"

I look at my door and don't answer at first and then I say, "yes," and start getting dressed. It takes me a few minutes because my body is still wet, but once I'm dressed I open up my door and almost run into Brian when I run out. "Why are you waiting outside my room?" I ask him.

He looks at me and says, "go look at your face."

I run back into my room and over to my dresser. My dresser is tall and my mirror is above it, and I'm not tall enough to see my whole face in it. I can only see the top of my head so I jump up and down to see my whole face. There's dirt on it.

"Go wash your face," Brian says.

"Ok." I run by him and into the bathroom where I can see my whole face in the mirror. I wonder how my hair got so wet. I turn the faucet on and cup my hands under the water. The water isn't coming out as fast as it usually does so I turn it on higher. It still isn't coming out very fast but I fill my hands with water and splash it on my face. I do that a few more times until there isn't any dirt left, then I dry my face with a towel.

"Ready!" I yell. "I just have to put my boots on!" I run back to my room and pick them up. They're all muddy, but that's nothing unusual around here. Our boots always get muddy. I pull them on and run out the door and downstairs where Adam and Brian are waiting for me. I can't wait to get to the fairgrounds!

We walk outside and I run to the jeep and climb up into the backseat. When Adam and Brian finally get in and Brian starts the jeep, I lean against the side and close my eyes. I'm exhausted. Today was a long day and digging that swimming pool was hard work, so I close my eyes and fall asleep before we're even off our driveway and out on the road.

* * *

Brian wakes me up when we're parked and I sit up and rub my eyes. It takes me a minute to figure out where we are and when I remember, I jump out of the jeep. I'm so excited! I can't wait to find Guthrie! I start to run through the dirt parking lot to the main entrance, but Adam calls me back.

"Heidi, stay with us!" He yells.

Jeez! We've only been here for a minute and he's already yelling at me! "I'm just going to the gate," I tell him.

"I know where you're going. I'm telling you you're staying with me."

"Why you and not Brian?" I ask.

"Because you're staying with me so I can watch you."

"Why? Once we're inside there's nowhere for me to go." My whole family knows the Sonora Fairgrounds really well. We've been here a lot. "It's not like I'm gonna get lost." He's starting to make me mad!

"I don't trust you."

"What does that mean?!"

"It means, I'm not sure if you're going to stay where you're supposed to stay."

"Where do you think I'm gonna go?!"

"Nowhere, because you're staying with me," he says. They start walking and I follow behind them. I wonder what staying with him means? This isn't gonna be very fun if I have to do that. All he's gonna do is sit and eat dinner with Hannah. Then they're probably gonna dance. I want to run around and play. There's always kids to play with, especially once I find Guthrie. I kick at the dirt while I follow behind them. I should've run away instead of making the swimming pool.

* * *

After we pay to get in I follow my brothers over to the BBQ area. I guess that's where we're supposed to meet everyone. The BBQ area is a nice grassy area. Daniel's band is playing on a small stage at one end of the grass, and the BBQ line is at the other end of the grass. There are picnic tables near the BBQ area and near the stage area it's just open grass so people can dance. There's a few people dancing right now, but most of the people are eating or standing in line for the BBQ.

Adam sees Hannah at a picnic table so we walk over to it. She's sitting with Crane and Isabella. Adam walks up to her and leans down to give her a kiss.

"It's about time you guys got here!" Crane says. "We're starving!"

Isabella laughs and says, "no we're not. We've only been here for a few minutes."

They all stand up and Crane says, "let's get in line. The BBQ smell has been driving me crazy, it smells so good!"

Crane picks me up and swings me around in a circle. Usually I laugh when he does that, but I don't feel like it today. "What's wrong twerp?" He asks.

"Nothing. Can you put me down?"

"Sure." Crane looks at Adam and says, "what's wrong with Heidi?"

"She's just mad because she has to stay with us," Adam says.

That makes me really mad! I stop walking with them and stare at their backs as they walk towards the line for the BBQ. Adam notices and says, "come on."

"I'm not hungry," I tell him.

"Sure you are. You've barely eaten anything today."

"No I'm not!"

"Suit yourself," he says. "Stay with us."

"Can I sit on the grass over by the stage?" I ask. I don't want to be anywhere near him right now. "You can see me from the line."

Adam looks at the line and then over at the stage. "Ok. But stay there. Don't go wandering off anywhere."

"I won't."

He looks at me with his serious face and says in his serious voice, "I mean it, don't go anywhere."

"I won't." I run towards the stage area and find a good spot to sit on the grass. I wonder where Guthrie is? I look around for him, but I don't see him. I start pulling at the grass. This is boring and no fun! I bet Guthrie's running around somewhere playing tag with a bunch of other kids. I look at the BBQ line and watch my family. Adam looks at me for a second and then turns back around. I hear yelling behind me so I turn around to see what's happening. Some deputies are chasing a boy.

They're sort of far away, over by the booths, so no one over here is paying attention except for me. I stand up to watch. The deputies I met yesterday are chasing a boy that looks like someone I know. I look closer and it 'is' someone I know! It's Gary's brother Rick! I hate that kid! He used to go to my school, but he got expelled. He's in eighth grade and he's the meanest boy I've ever met. I'm not scared of too many boys, but Rick, I'm definitely scared of!

I watch the deputies give up on chasing him when Rick hops a fence. One of the deputies is a girl. It's Deputy Kim from yesterday. I yell her name to see if she'll come over here, but she doesn't hear me. I look over at Adam, and he's not watching me right now, so I run towards Deputy Kim yelling her name.

She's talking to two other deputies when I run up to her. I try to get her attention, but she's busy. I look over at the BBQ line. I can still see Adam, so if he looks over here, he'll see me.

"Deputy Kim!" I yell. I have to yell it three more times before she finally looks down at me.

"Oh hi," she says. "I remember you from yesterday."

"I know who that boy was!"

Now all three deputies are looking at me. "Who is he?"

"His name is Rick. R-I-C-K, Rick," I spell it out for her. I tell her his last name too, "but I don't know how to spell that," I tell her. "He lives in Murphys."

"Thanks a lot!" Deputy Kim says. "He stole a woman's purse. This information will help us a lot."

"Are you gonna arrest him?" I ask.

"We'll have to let Carbon County take care of that." Deputy Kim says and she asks me for my name and phone number. "In case we need to ask you some more questions," she says.

"Ok." I say goodbye and watch them walk away and over to the Sherif's booth. I'd better get back to my spot on the grass before Adam notices I'm gone. I turn around and see Rick's brother, Gary, standing a few feet away and he's staring at me.

"You told on my brother!" He yells.

"So! He stole someone's purse!" I yell back at him.

"He's gonna be so mad at you when I tell him what you did!"

Uh-oh. I didn't think about that. His brother is gonna kill me! But right now I have to worry about Gary. He's rushing towards me with a scary look in his eyes. I'm not afraid of Gary, so I stand my ground and wait to see what he's gonna do. He's not slowing down or stopping as he comes towards me. He wants to fight, and I'm ready! If he wants a fight, I'll give it to him! He smashed my flowerpot and I'm mad at him! I'm mad at everyone right now! Gary rushes at me and before I know what's happening, he shoves me on the ground.


	14. Chapter 14

After Gary shoves me on the ground, he stays on top of me and wrestles me like my brothers do. He's pulling at my hair, which is something my brothers _don't_ do and it hurts, so I start slapping him in the face a lot and yell at him.

"Ow! Stop pulling my hair you stupid boy!"

"You're stupid!" Gary yells. He stops pulling on my hair and I push on his shoulders to try and get him off me. I'm able to move him and turn him so I've got him pinned now and it's easy for me to punch him in the face. But when I let go with the hand I punch with, it's easier for him to get unpinned. We're basically wrestling with each other and throwing a few punches at each other. I pin him again and he pulls my hair.

"Ow! Stop doing that!" I yell, and I knee him in the nuts.

"Ow!" He pushes me off of him and I feel someone lift me to my feet and hold me back. I try to get away so I can punch Gary again, but the person holding me is too strong and I can't get away. I look up and see Crane holding me. Adam, Hannah, Isabella and Brian are running up to us.

"Stop fighting me Heidi!" Crane yells as he tries to hold me back from Gary.

"Let me go!" I yell. "I want to beat him up!"

"No!" Crane yells. "Stop!" He holds me tight from behind so I can't move and I watch Gary sit up.

"Get out of here!" Brian yells at him. "You shouldn't be fighting girls!"

Gary glares at me and says, "you're dead Heidi! When I tell Rick you told on him, he's gonna beat you up!"

"Get up and get out of here kid before I beat _you_ up!" Brian yells.

"Brian!" Adam yells. "Knock it off. You're not gonna beat anybody up!"

"I'm gonna beat you up!" I yell at Gary. "I don't care if Rick beats me up! I'm gonna beat _you_ up!"

"Heidi, stop," Crane says and he turns me around so I have to look at him. "You need to stop now," he says. He's holding my arms at my sides and is looking at me with serious looking eyes.

"You're not beating anybody up!" Adam yells at me.

Gary gets up and yells, "you're dead Heidi! Dead!"

I wiggle my way around so I can see Gary. "No _you_ are!" I yell as he runs away. "You're dead!" I yell after him.

"Stop it!" Adam yells.

Crane turns me back around and looks at me and says, "calm down Heidi. You can't fight him."

"He broke my flowerpot!" I yell at Crane and then I start crying.

Crane hugs me and whispers in my ear, "hey." He rubs my back and says, "sh. He's gone now."

I push away from him and yell, "I know! I didn't get to finish beating him up! I was winning too! Now I have to wait until tomorrow to finish beating him up at school!"

"No you're not!" Adam yells.

"Aw, come on Adam!" Brian yells. "That kid deserves it!"

"Brian!" Adam starts yelling at Brian and Crane stands up and let's go of me so he can get in between Adam and Brian. Isabella, Hannah and Crane try to stop Adam and Brian from yelling at each other and they try to calm them down. No one's paying any attention to me so I run off. I'm gonna see if I can find Guthrie. I don't want to be around any of these guys right now!

* * *

I run as fast as I can. I bet I know exactly where he is. The bleachers.

The rodeo is over now and a lot of kids like to play on the bleachers afterwards. They're in the shade and they're fun to play tag on. So that's where I run to. The Sonora Fairgrounds aren't that big so I get there pretty quickly, and I was right, there are a bunch of kids playing on the bleachers. It looks like they're playing tag. I find Guthrie and run up to him.

"Hi Heidi!" He yells as he runs along the bleachers. I keep up with him and he says, "do you wanna play tag with us? Jeremy's _it_."

"Not really."

Guthrie stops running to look at me. "What's wrong Heidi?"

"Everything!" I start to cry, and I feel embarrassed because lots of kids are around. They aren't paying attention to me though, but I still feel embarrassed. Guthrie takes my hand and leads me down the bleacher steps and then under the bleachers. There are a few kids playing under here, but the bleachers are big so we can find a spot that feels like we're alone.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Guthrie asks. We sit on the ground next to each other and Guthrie puts his arm around my shoulders while I cry. "I haven't seen you in forever!" He says. "I'm sorry you got in trouble yesterday."

I tell Guthrie about Rick stealing a lady's purse and me telling on him and Gary seeing me do that.

"Oh no! That's not good! Rick is gonna kill you!"

That makes cry harder. "I know!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to make you even more upset."

"Guthrie, I fought with Gary. I was trying to beat him up, but Crane stopped me. I'm so mad at Gary for breaking my flowerpot and Adam doesn't want me to fight him, but I want to so bad!"

"I know you do. I would want to too."

"Why won't he let me fight?! I bet that's what he would do if the same thing happened to him, and he was my age!"

"I know, I think he would too," Guthrie says.

"Then why won't he let _me_ do it?!"

"I don't know. I guess he forgets what it's like to be a kid."

We look up through the bleachers when we hear our names being called. It sounds like Adam's voice.

"Guthrie, I ran away from them after I fought Gary. I don't think I'm supposed to be here."

Guthrie stands up fast and says, "come on! We can go hide in the stables!"

I get up and we run underneath the bleachers to the other side. The stables are close by and we run to them. There's a lot of horses and people still around. The rodeo has probably only been over for an hour or two, so people are still packing their stuff up.

We look into each pen as we run by until we find an empty one to hide in. It's clean, which means whoever was using it, isn't coming back. We hide in the corner.

"What am I gonna do Guthrie?" I cry. "I can't go back home! Everybody hates me!"

"No they don't. What do you mean by that? I don't hate you."

"Adam does. So does Hannah."

"That's not everyone. That's only two people."

I tell him about my plan to run away and about calling Denise. "I can't believe she wouldn't run away with me!"

"I'll run away with you," he says.

I wipe my eyes and look at him. "You will?"

"Yes. We can't run away tonight, because we're not supposed to run away when it's dark, but we can run away when we go to school. That way we'll have lots of time to get somewhere, and they won't know we're gone until we don't come home from school."

I smile. "That's perfect! Why didn't we ever think of that before?" Usually we run away once we're home from school.

Guthrie shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess we're getting smarter because we're older now."

I think about that. I think he's right. I look at Guthrie and ask, "are you sure you want to run away with me? You're not in trouble so you don't have to."

"I know. Heidi, you always run away with me when I need to run away, so I'll run away with you."

"Thanks!" I hug him. "I wish I could run away right now."

"We can't. We're in Sonora."

"I know. So what do I do now? I think Adam's mad at me for fighting."

"You _think_?" Guthrie asks and he laughs.

I laugh too, but then I start to cry again.

"It's gonna be ok Heidi."

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is! Heidi, let's talk about our plan for running away tomorrow. That'll get your mind off things."

"Ok. Where should we go?"

"Johnson's Lake."

"That's perfect!"

"I know!" Guthrie says. "We can camp there too! We can pack backpacks and bring a tent and our fishing poles, and..,"

"And no one will know we're there! It's so close too, so we don't have to walk very far. And there's all kinds of things to do there so we won't get bored!" Usually when we run away, we hide somewhere on our ranch so we actually have to stay hidden.

"Get out of there!" Adam yells from the doorway. "We've been looking all over for you!"

I look up at Adam and I feel scared and then mad. "No! Go away!"

"Heidi, I'm not going to tell you again, get out of there!"

"Ha! That's telling me again!" I yell back.

Guthrie whispers, "Heidi, what are you doing? You're going to make him madder. Just be quiet and get out."

"No!"

Adam doesn't yell now, he looks at Guthrie and says very calmly, "Guthrie would you go find your brothers and tell them I found Heidi."

Guthrie starts to stand up but I pull on his arm, "no! He's staying with me!"

"Let him go Heidi," Adam says.

"It's ok Adam," Guthrie says, "I can stay here."

"No, I don't want you to stay here. I want you to go tell your brothers I found Heidi."

"Well, I want him to stay!"

Adam says calmly, "Heidi, that isn't your decision to make. Go Guthrie."

I cry and hang onto Guthrie's hand. "No! Don't leave me with him!"

Guthrie looks at me and then at Adam.

"What's wrong with you Heidi? Let go of Guthrie's hand right now so he can leave!" Adam yells.

"No!"

Adam comes inside and tries to take my hand off Guthrie's. I cry and won't let go, but Adam's stronger so it doesn't take him long to take my hand off Guthrie's. Once Guthrie is free Adam tells him to go again.

Guthrie looks at me and says, "sorry," before he runs off. Now I'm sitting on the ground crying with Adam glaring down at me.

"Come on Heidi, get up."

I look up at him. "Why?!"

"What do you mean why?! Because I said so! You're fighting and you ran away from us _again_! So get up, we're leaving!"

"Where are we going?"

"Get up!"

"Ok fine!" I stand up and try to run past him. That was dumb, because there's only one way out and I run right into him.

Adam kneels down in front of me and holds my arms at my sides. "What's gotten into you?!"

"Nothing!"

"Heidi, talk to me."

"No! I have nothing to say to you! You hate me so I hate you!" I yell and then I cry.

Adam's eyes look sad now. "I don't hate you. Why do you think that?"

"Because it's true! You hate me! You've been mean to me all day and yesterday!"

"I don't _hate_ you. Just because I get mad at you, doesn't mean I hate you. You left Hannah yesterday. We were worried sick about you! Do you remember how worried we were when Guthrie hitchhiked from school to the hospital here in Sonora, to visit Hannah? Do you remember that?" I nod my head. "Well, that's how worried we were about you yesterday. We didn't know if something bad happened to you."

"I didn't leave Hannah! She left me!"

"No! You left her! You wanted to watch the parade from somewhere else and you didn't ask her if you could. That's leaving her! She didn't see you leave so she went to look for you."

"Well she shouldn't have! You told me when I get lost, I'm supposed to stay where I am until you find me! She didn't do that!"

"_She_ wasn't lost!"

I don't understand that. I look at him and try to figure out what he's saying.

"Heidi, you're right. When you're lost, you're supposed to stay put until we find you. Did you do that yesterday?"

"I wasn't lost!"

Adam sighs. "If you get separated from us, what are you supposed to do?"

I think about that. He's talking about when we're shopping and I get separated from my family. I'm supposed to stay where I'm at, and let them find me. The same thing I'm supposed to do if I get separated from them on the ranch, or the woods, or somewhere else.

"You're thinking about that aren't you?" He asks. I nod my head. "Hannah didn't know where you were. She thought you were lost, so she went to go find you. You were separated from her. Do you understand that?"

I think. Is that true? I wasn't lost, but I wasn't with Hannah so we were..., separated! I look at Adam.

"You get it now, don't you?" He asks and when I nod my head he says, "when you went back to the spot where you left Hannah and saw she wasn't there, what were you supposed to do?"

"Stay there," I say quietly.

"Yes!" We look at each other and he smiles a little.

I feel really bad now. I cry while I look at him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I left Hannah." Adam hugs me and I cry.

"You need to tell Hannah that too," he says.

I nod my head and say, "I will."

He hugs me while I cry and then something just pops out of my mouth and I don't know why it does. "Adam, I want a mom!"

"What?" He asks. I know he heard me.

I push away from him so I can look in his eyes. "I want a mom!" I cry. "I want a mom like Denise has a mom! I want a mom like Denise's! I want a mom like Hannah!"

He hugs me again really tightly and whispers in my ear, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry you don't have a mom."

"I made a card for Hannah!"

"I know."

"I made her a present!"

"I know."

"And it all got ruined! I wanted to give it to her!"

"I know you did. She knows that too. We're both sorry your present and card got ruined. That shouldn't have happened."

"I want to beat Gary up!" I cry.

"I know you do," he says.

"Why won't you let me?"

Adam rubs my back while he hugs me. "Because it's not right to beat someone up."

"Why not?! He did something really mean!"

"I know. I know he did. Heidi, he did something really wrong. He did something he wasn't supposed to do. He hurt you and now you want to hurt him back. I understand that."

"You do?"

"Yes. But I don't want you to hurt him back by fighting him. I'm going to call the principal tomorrow and tell him what happened. Mr. Brick will do something about it."

"But I want to fight him!"

"I know, but I don't want you to do that."

That makes me start crying hard again. "Why not?! Why can't I hurt him back?!"

"It's not right," he says.

"I don't care!"

"I know you don't, but it's still not right."

"I _have_ to beat him up Adam! I just have to! He ruined Hannah's present!"

Adam sighs and says, "I know. I don't want you to beat him up Heidi."

"Then can Guthrie do it?"

"No."

"Can Ford or Evan do it?"

"No."

"Daniel?"

"No."

"What about you, or Crane?"

"Nope."

"Then that just leaves Brian, and I _know_ he will!"

Adam laughs a little and says, "I know, but he's not gonna."

"Do you think Hannah would?"

"Yes," Hannah says, "if it was the right thing to do, I would. But it's not the right thing to do."

Adam and I stop hugging each other and look over at the doorway to the stable.

"Hannah!" I run to her and hug her.

"Hi," she says as she hugs me back. "Guthrie told me I'd find you here."

I stop hugging her and look up at her. "I'm sorry for leaving you yesterday Hannah." I look at Adam and he smiles. I look back up at Hannah and say, "I wasn't supposed to do that. I should've asked you if I could go watch the parade from somewhere else. I'm sorry."

Hannah kneels down in front of me and hugs me. "I love you Heidi," she says.

"I love you too," I tell her. Her hug feels nice. I like it a lot, but then something pops into my head that I'm not sure if I like. I move away from Hannah a little so I can see her eyes. "Hannah? How long were you standing there in the doorway?"

"Not very long. Why?"

I look at Adam and then back at Hannah. "Did you hear me talk about Denise's Mom?"

"No."

I sigh. That's a relief. I hug her again.

"What did you say about Denise's Mom?" She asks.

"Nothing." It doesn't feel right to just say _nothing_ though. "Well, I kind of said she's a lot like you."

"Denise's Mom is very nice, so I'll take that as a compliment," she says and she hugs me tighter. We stay like that for a while until Adam breaks the silence.

"Heidi, I need to ask you a question. A very serious question."

Hannah and I stop hugging and I look at him. "What?"

"Why do you think I hate you?" He asks.

I put my head down and look at the hay on the ground. I kick some of it with my foot before I say very quietly, "because you spanked me."

Adam lifts my chin up with his finger. "That doesn't mean I hate you."

"Fine. You don't like me," I say.

"No, it doesn't mean that either."

"Then why'd you spank me?"

"Because you were being a brat," his says in his very serious voice. "You were being very rude to us yesterday." His eyes don't look mad right now, but I'm starting to feel mad. He must know that because he says, "tell me what you're thinking right now. It looks like you're getting mad."

"You called me a rug rat, and you yelled at me! You laughed about me being kidnapped!" Now I am mad!

"I'm sorry," he says. "You weren't supposed to hear that."

"Well, I did! It wasn't very nice! I heard you and Brian talking this morning too and when I had to go with you to work on the fence, you were mean to me!"

"You were mean too," he says.

He's right and I start to cry. "I don't like it when you're mad at me. Last night I was sad. I woke up and I was crying and you didn't come!"

"I didn't hear you. Why didn't you come get me?"

"I couldn't! You were mad at me!"

"Is that why you were sleeping in Crane's bed last night?"

I nod my head.

"Heidi, you can always wake me up whenever you need to. I don't want you to be afraid to do that," he says, and he hugs me.

"I was sad! I thought you hated me!" I cry.

"I could never hate you," he says. "Never! Look at me Heidi." He pushes me away from him and holds me in front of him. "I will never hate you. Do you understand that?"

I shake my head no.

"What'd you mean no?! Heidi!"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know. I just think that way."

"Well, we're gonna have to change that thinking you do in that little head of yours!" He says as he puts his hand on top of my head and messes up my hair. A bunch of dirt flies out. "You definitely need a bath tonight!" He says.

"Where'd all that dirt come from?" Hannah asks.

"I made a pool!" I tell her.

"You did?!" She smiles at me and then she looks up at Adam. "She did?"

"I guess so," he says. "She dug it herself."

"I can't wait to see it," Hannah says.

"Maybe you could swim in it with me!" I tell her. "Maybe we all could! We just have to make it bigger!"

They laugh at that and Adam says, "maybe. We'll see."

My stomach growls really loudly and they hear it.

"I think you're hungry," Hannah says and she tickles my stomach.

I laugh and Adam says, "what did you eat today?"

"Half a sandwich," I tell him.

"And?" Hannah asks.

"And, nothing," I tell her.

Hannah looks at Adam now and says, "you and Brian didn't make her anything to eat?"

I put my hands on my hips and glare at Adam while I tell Hannah, "nope! Nothing! No breakfast, or lunch, or anything! I can't cook by myself either, so I couldn't even make pancakes!"

"Adam!" Hannah says.

We both pretend to be mad at him and he says, "ok, ok! I'm sorry!"

Then we all laugh and Hannah says, "let's go get some of that BBQ before it's all gone!"

We all walk out of the stables together. I take Adam's hand to hold while we walk back to the BBQ area. Hannah's walking on the other side of me and I look up at her and smile. I take her hand so I'm holding both their hands now and I'm in the middle. They don't know I can see them, but I see them both look at each other and smile.

I swing their hands back and forth with my hands. I feel happy. Then they play the game where they lift me up on each third step we take. We play that until we get to the grassy area where the BBQ is.

* * *

The BBQ is good! Tri-tip always is. Guthrie and I sit next to each other with our family at the picnic tables. Our family takes up two tables because we've got Isabella with us and some of her family. When we're done eating, we go dance. I dance with Crane first and Guthrie dances with Isabella. It's a lot of fun. I'm glad Crane found Isabella because they're perfect for each other. Just like Adam and Hannah are perfect for each other. They're dancing next to us.

Daniel's set is done and there's an intermission while the next band gets set up. I think it's Tanya's band. Guthrie and I sit down on the grass to wait for the music to start up again.

"Guess what Guthrie! I dug a pool today!"

"You did?"

"Yes! It's big enough for both of us to fit in it!"

"Yeah, but can we _swim_ in it?" He asks.

"If we dug it deeper we could. It's really dirty though. There's lots of mud."

"You used the blue tarp, didn't you?"

"No."

"That's supposed to keep the mud out, Heidi! You dig a hole, put the tarp down, and fill it with water."

"I didn't need it. The pool filled itself up with water."

"What do you mean, 'the pool filled itself'? That doesn't make any sense. Pools don't just fill up by themselves."

"This one did."

"How?! I don't believe you! So you're digging a hole and it just starts filling up with water all by itself?" He asks. He starts to laugh.

"Yes!" I tell him. "At first the water came out like a sprinkler, but when I hit the rock more, the water came out like a hose."

Guthrie thinks that's really funny. "What rock?"

"The rock at the bottom of the pool! When I hit it, water came out like a sprinkler!"

Guthrie starts rolling around on the grass while he laughs. "The water came out of a rock?!"

"Yes!" I laugh and start wrestling with him since he's already laying on the ground, it's easy to pin him.

"You expect me to believe water comes out of rocks?!" He laughs.

I laugh too. "I know. It sounds stupid, but it does. It just sprayed right out of the rock! I'll show you tomorrow," I tell him.

"Why not tonight?"

"It's too dark." We both look up at the sky. The sun is down and the lights around the grassy area are on. Tanya's band starts playing now so we jump up. I take Guthrie's baseball hat off his head and start running around with it while he chases me. When he catches me he pushes me on the ground and grabs his hat back. We wrestle each other some more until we're tired. Then we sit up and pull at the grass.

"Are we still running away tomorrow?" He asks.

"I don't think so. Probably not. Adam said he doesn't hate me anymore," I tell him.

"_Anymore_?" Guthrie asks and he laughs. "He really said that?"

"No, but that's what he meant."

"You're funny Heidi!"

I throw a bunch of grass at him and he laughs. I look around at all the people dancing to see if I can find my family. Ford and Evan are dancing with two girls I don't know. Cleo must not be here, or Ford would be dancing with her. Daniel is dancing with a girl from his school. I've seen her before, except I don't know what her name is. I can't find Brian so I ask Guthrie where he is.

"Probably where the beer is."

I laugh. He's probably right. "Let's go see!"

"Ok!"

We both get up and run to the BBQ area. We find the area where they sell beer and sure enough, he's there. I run up to him.

"Come dance with me!"

He looks down at me and says, "just a sec. Let me finish this." He's holding his beer in his hand and he drinks it. I grab his other hand and pull on it.

"Come on! It's no fun over here! Come dance!"

"Hold on!" He puts the beer can down and talks to a girl standing near him. "I gotta go dance with my little sister."

The girl looks at me and says, "aw, how cute!"

I don't like her.

Brian says, "Charlotte, this is Heidi."

She walks close to me and says, "aren't you so cute!" She puts her hand on top of my head and messes up my hair. "Look at you! How old are you little girl? Eight?"

Yeah, I hate her. "I'm ten!" I tell her. Then I look up at Brian and ask loudly, "what's wrong with her? Is she drunk or something?"

Guthrie laughs quietly behind me and Charlotte looks at me like she's confused. Brian glares at me and says, "you can go now."

"Aw, come on Brian!" I look up at him and smile really big. "Don't you wanna dance with your _cute_ little sister?"

"Sure," he says as he looks down at me and smiles. "Let me know when you find her!"

Guthrie thinks that's hilarious! I grab his hat again and run away from the BBQ area with it. "Hey!" He yells. "Give it back!" We're both laughing and it doesn't take long before he catches up with me. He grabs onto his hat and pulls hard so I let it go and watch him fall backwards right into Gary!

"Watch where you're going you dumb McFadden kid!" Gary yells at Guthrie.

"Sorry," Guthrie says.

"You should be!" Gary yells.

"I thought my brother told you to get out of here!" I yell at him.

"I don't have to do what he says!" Gary yells back. "I'm here with my Dad!"

"Oh yeah?! Well, I don't see him!" I yell.

"You're dead, McFadden!" Gary yells at me. "Rick is gonna kill you!"

"I don't care!" I lie. "He doesn't scare me!"

Gary smiles a creepy smile. "You're scared of him!"

"Well I'm not scared of you!" I yell and run up to him and punch him in the face.

"Heidi, stop!" I hear Guthrie yell, but I'm not gonna stop! I've been wanting to beat Gary up ever since he broke my flowerpot, and I finally have the chance to do it! No one can really see us over here. I punch Gary two more times before he tries to punch me back in the shoulder.

"Ha! You missed!" I yell at him as I punch him in the face again. I put Gary in a headlock and punch him in the stomach.

"Stop!" He yells.

"No! This is for breaking my flowerpot!" I punch him in the face.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing!" Some man yells. I don't recognize the voice so I look up and see a man walking towards us. Fast. I don't know who he is and I don't care! I punch Gary again right in the face. "Stop!" The man yells. He pulls me off of Gary and holds me back.

"Let go of her!" Guthrie yells.

The man looks at Guthrie and says, "go away kid! This is between this brat and my son!"

Oh no! This is Gary's Dad? That means he's Rick's Dad too!

"Is this the brat that keeps picking on you?!" He asks Gary.

Gary spits some blood out of his mouth. "Yeah Dad! She keeps picking on me!"

"That's not true! He picks on me!" I look around for Guthrie, but he's gone. "Guthrie?!"

"Ha!" Gary laughs. "He left you! See he's scared of us."

I try to get away from Gary's Dad, but he won't let me. "Let me go!" I scream. I can smell the beer on his breath.

His Dad laughs. "Not so tough now, are you?"

I'm scared. I'm not used to an adult holding me like this and talking to me like this. I start crying really hard. Where did Guthrie go?! "Guthrie!" I scream. "Guthrie!"


	15. Chapter 15

C

I want Guthrie to come back so bad! I'm scared. I'm scared of Gary's Dad. Why won't he let me go?

"You want to get a few licks in, Son?" He asks Gary.

What! He's gonna hold me while Gary hits me? I don't like this! I'm scared! "Let me go!" I scream again and I start hitting and kicking Gary's Dad as hard as I can. His Dad lets go of me and calls me a bad word while he slaps my cheek with the back of his hand. I fall on the ground and cry. That hurt a lot. I've never been hit by an adult like that before, and it scares me. Gary's Dad scares me.

"Don't you ever touch my little sister like that again!" Brian yells and he rushes at Gary's Dad. Guthrie is back and he runs over to me and drops to the ground next to me.

"Are you ok?" He asks me.

"No!" I cry and Guthrie hugs me while we watch Brian fight.

Gary yells, "get him Dad!"

Usually Guthrie and I would be yelling the same thing at Brian, but somehow it doesn't seem like the right thing to do right now. Usually we're excited when we watch our brothers fight. Brian is punching Gary's Dad hard. Lots of people start running up now and trying to break them apart. The Sheriff's deputies are here too. They break the fight up and put handcuffs on Gary's Dad and Brian! Why Brian?! That makes Guthrie start crying too.

"Who knows what happened here?" One of the deputies asks.

"That jerk hit my baby sister!" Brian yells.

"That little girl was beating up my son!" Gary's Dad yells.

More people are running up now. Ford comes running up to us, while Evan and Daniel run over to where the deputies are taking Brian.

"What happened?" Ford asks.

"Go get Adam and Crane!" Guthrie yells and Ford runs away. "Heidi, does your cheek hurt?"

I nod my head. "It hurts a lot."

"Let me see," he says. I move my hand away and Guthrie says, "wow, that looks swollen."

I cover my cheek again and put my head down. "I want Adam," I say quietly.

"I know. Ford went to go get him. He'll be here soon."

"Do you think he'll be mad at me?"

"No. Why would he be mad?"

"Because I was fighting."

Daniel and Evan walk up to us and ask Guthrie what happened. Guthrie tells them the story, and when he's done Daniel picks me up and carries me over to the area where Brian and Gary's Dad are. The Sheriff's deputies are questioning them.

"I'm gonna kill that man!" Evan yells as we walk over.

"Evan, be quiet!" Daniel says. "We all want to do that, but that's not gonna help right now."

Ford comes over with Crane, Adam, Hannah and Isabella. When they see Brian with handcuffs on, they run over to him.

"Daniel, why does Brian have handcuffs on?" I ask. "When are they gonna take them off?"

"I don't know."

"Is he gonna go to jail?"

"I don't know," he says.

We hear Adam yell, "HE HIT HEIDI?! IM GONNA ...,"

Daniel turns around quickly with me and starts walking back to the BBQ area fast. I know it's because he doesn't want me to hear Adam yell. "Let's get you away from there," Daniel says. Guthrie, Evan and Ford come with us and since Daniel's holding me I can see Adam yelling while we walk away. I can't hear what he's saying and he looks really mad.

"Is Adam mad at me?"

"No," Daniel says, "he's mad at Gary's Dad."

"I'm scared of Gary's Dad," I tell him and I cry.

Daniel hugs me while he's holding me and says, "I know you are. He's a scary man. He shouldn't have done that to you."

He walks over to a picnic table and sits down with me. Evan, Ford and Guthrie do too. Tanya's band is still playing and lots of people are dancing. Everyone's done eating so there's only a few people still sitting at the tables.

"I wanna go home," I tell Daniel.

"Me too," he says.

Evan, Daniel, Ford and Guthrie talk about what happened and how mad they are. I watch the people dancing to the music. They look so happy. They're having fun, just like Guthrie and I were having before we ran into Gary and his Dad. I wish we never ran into them! I wish we were still having fun. Now none of us are having fun! My brothers are all mad and they want to beat people up!

"Here comes Hannah and Adam," Guthrie says.

I hold on to Daniel tighter. "I'm scared!"

"Of what?"

"Adam!"

"What?! That's crazy!"

I watch them get closer and Adam makes a beeline towards us.

"Are you ok?" He asks me as soon as he gets to us. He takes me from Daniel and I'm not scared anymore.

I nod my head and ask, "are you mad at me?"

"What?" He asks.

Hannah says, "let me see your cheek." She lifts my face up to look at it. "It's too dark to see anything out here. Does it hurt?"

I nod my head.

"Adam, what are they doing with Brian?" Evan asks.

"They took him out of the fairgrounds. He's waiting in the parking lot for us with Crane."

"He's not going to jail?" Guthrie asks.

"No. They're not arresting him."

"What about the Dad?" Daniel asks.

"Let's talk about that at home," Adam says.

"That means he doesn't want to talk about it in front of me or Heidi," Guthrie says.

"There's a reason for that," Adam says.

"What?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me but says to everyone, "we need to go home. It's a school night and it's been a very long day for everyone. We need to get home, throw this one in the bath, and then go to bed!"

"Are you tired?" I ask Adam.

"Yes."

"Why don't you let me drive," Hannah says.

"No, let me drive," Daniel says. "You guys both need to rest after the weekend you've had."

"Let's go out to the parking lot and meet up with Brian and Crane, and we'll decide who's driving and who's going in what car," Adam says and it sounds like everyone agrees because they all get up and start leaving.

"Adam, I'm going to see if they have some ice for Heidi's cheek," Hannah says. "I'll be right back."

"Ok. Hey guys," he yells at my brothers, "we'll meet you out there. Hannah's getting some ice."

When they're gone I ask Adam if he's mad at me. "I'm sorry," I tell him. "I just had to beat Gary up!"

Adam sighs and moves some of my hair away from my cheek. "Heidi, I'm disappointed you were fighting with Gary. Especially so soon after we talked about 'not' fighting with him." He lifts my chin a little to make sure I'm looking in his eyes, "but right now I'm not thinking about that. I'm thinking about how someone can hit a girl, no a _child_, the way his Dad hit you. That wasn't right. You know that right? He shouldn't have hit you."

I nod my head. "Did he do that because he was drunk?" I ask. "He smelled like beer."

"I don't know why he did that."

Hannah comes back with some ice wrapped up in a towel. "Here, hold this on your cheek."

I take it from her and press it against my cheek. It's not cold, but I know it will be soon. Adam carries me and we leave the BBQ area to meet up with our family in the parking lot.

* * *

Crane and Brian are waiting by the truck in the parking lot. I didn't see Gary, or his Dad at all while we walked through the parking lot. Adam is still carrying me and I hang onto him tightly. When we get to the truck Brian comes up to me and lifts my chin up to look at my cheek.

"That jerk! What the heck...," Brian starts to say, but Adam interrupts him.

"Not now. We need to go home. We've got an hour drive ahead of us."

"I'll drive the truck," Crane says.

"I'll ride in back with my guitar," Daniel says.

"Guthrie, you come in the truck with Brian and me," Crane says.

"I'll drive the jeep," Evan says.

"Ok. Let's get outta here!" Adam says and everyone agrees.

Ford, Evan, Hannah, Adam and I walk to the jeep. It's only a little further from the truck. I climb in back and Adam and Hannah do too. Normally I complain about having to be squished in the middle, but tonight I don't mind. Adam and Hannah can squish next to me all they want to tonight.

Once everyone's in I lean against Adam and he puts his arm around me. The jeep is covered because we have a long drive home and it's nighttime, which makes it easier for everyone to talk. The four of them talk while Evan drives and I listen for a little while before I fall asleep.

* * *

Someone is shaking me so I open my eyes. "We're home Heidi."

I sit up and rub my eyes. My cheek hurts really bad now. The towel with the ice is gone. I must've dropped it. When Evan stops the jeep, we all get out. The truck is here too and my brothers are getting out of it.

Everyone wants to talk about what happened with me, Gary's Dad, and Brian. But Adam doesn't want to talk about it in front of me and Guthrie. As soon as we're all up the porch steps he unlocks the front door and says, "Guthrie, get your pajamas on. Heidi, go get the bath water running. It's late."

Guthrie and I run upstairs, and Guthrie runs into the boys' room and shuts the door, while I run into the bathroom and shut the door. The first thing I do before starting to undress is turn the tub faucet on. No water comes out. That's weird. I turn it on higher, and then as high as it goes and no water comes out. I better tell my brothers. I open the door and look downstairs. They're all in the living room talking. I think they're talking about Gary's Dad so I close the door about halfway to leave it open just enough so I can hear what they're saying.

"Did they arrest him?" Ford asks.

"Yeah," Crane says. "He's going back to jail."

"_Back_ to jail?" Evan asks.

"Yeah, remember Heidi said a while ago Gary's Dad was in jail? Well, he was in there for assaulting a woman at a bar," Brian says. "Apparently he has a problem with women and he gets violent when he's drunk."

"But this was a child!" Hannah says.

"I know. That's why I said we were pressing charges," Adam says.

"Why didn't they arrest Brian?" Daniel asks.

"Because he was protecting a child," Crane says. "The deputies told Gary's Dad it wouldn't look too good for him if he pressed charges against Brian. I think he was sobering up pretty fast by then."

"He was blubbering something about not meaning to hit the girl," Brian says.

"What happened to his son?" Ford asks. "Gary?"

"I don't know. He was there, but he was with a Deputy."

"Is Heidi gonna be ok?" Ford asks.

"She was really scared Adam," Daniel says.

"I know. She'll be ok eventually." Adam sighs and I watch him rub his forehead with his hands. He looks really tired. I look at Hannah and she looks really tired too. So does Brian and Crane.

I sigh because I feel really tired too.

"Heidi, are you listening to us?" Adam calls upstairs.

"No!" I yell and I close the door all the way. I hear laughing downstairs. I wonder what's so funny.

"Heidi?" Adam calls up.

I open the door and walk out to the stair banister and look down at Adam and say, "what?"

"Why aren't you in the bath? You've been up there long enough that the tub should be ready."

I hear gasps from downstairs and Ford says, "look at that bruise!"

"He must've hit her hard!" Evan yells.

I put my hand up to my cheek and I start to cry a little.

Adam gets up and starts to come upstairs. "Why do you still have your clothes on? What's taking you so long?"

"There's no water coming out."

"What do you mean there's no water coming out?"

"I turned the faucet on and nothing's coming out."

"How come you didn't tell us?" He asks while he walks up the stairs faster. I shrug my shoulders.

"I'll go check the pump," Brian yells up to dam. "It's probably just acting up again." He walks to the door and takes his jacket off the hook on the wall and walks outside.

"Get in here and let's check this out," Adam says as he walks into the bathroom.

"Ok, but I told you, nothing's coming out. There's no water." I follow him to the bathtub and he twists the faucet nob. Nothing comes out. "See. I told you," I tell him.

Adam sighs and turns the sink faucet on. Nothing comes out of that either. "It's probably the pump," he says, only I don't think he's talking to me. He walks out of the bathroom and asks Crane to go check the faucet in the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Guthrie asks. He stops in the doorway to see what we're doing. He has his pajamas on now.

Crane yells from the kitchen, "no water here either."

"Dang it!" Adam says. He sounds mad. "We can't afford to fix the pump again!"

"I'll go see if Brian needs help with the pump," Crane says.

Adam turns to me and says, "Heidi, you have to tell us when water doesn't come out of the faucet."

"Why?"

"Because that means something's wrong with it."

I look up at him and say, "sorry."

Crane hasn't even been gone for one minute before he comes right back inside with Brian.

"I didn't see anything wrong with the pump," Brian says.

"Then what's wrong?" Daniel asks.

"Sounds like a broken water pipe!" Brian says. My brothers all groan. "It's gonna take us forever to find it!"

"How are we gonna pay for that?!" Adam says.

"Does that mean I don't have to take a bath now?" I ask Adam.

He looks down at me and glares. "What do you think?"

"No!" I yell and I smile up at him as I jump up and down.

"How are we gonna brush our teeth?" Guthrie asks.

"We aren't!" I yell excitedly.

"You two think this is fun now, but it's not gonna be fun when you realize there's no water to drink," Adam says.

"I'll just drink Coke," I tell him. I think this is gonna be fun.

"Let's start inside," Crane says.

Adam says, "I've got the bathroom."

My brothers call out different rooms of the house and Guthrie runs downstairs to help. I stay with Adam and watch him crouch down and open the cabinet underneath the sink.

"What are you looking for?"

"Water," he says as he feels around inside the cabinet.

"There isn't any, remember?" I remind him.

He looks at me and says, "I know that. I'm looking for a leak." He sounds tired when he says that. He gets up and closes the cabinet doors. Then he reaches up and starts feeling the ceiling.

"Now what are you doing?" I ask him.

"Same thing. Looking for water."

"On the ceiling?" I laugh.

He feels the walls next.

"You're looking for water in the walls too?" I laugh at that too.

"Heidi, this isn't funny." He looks at me and says, "this is serious. We need to find the broken pipe before it floods the house somewhere."

"If it was flooding the house somewhere wouldn't we see lots of water?" I ask.

"Not always. Sometimes a pipe leaks in the walls."

I laugh. "In the wall?" I start rubbing my hands over the wall.

"But if it were a small leak, water would still be coming out of the faucets," he says quietly. He's talking to himself now.

"Maybe our well is all dried up," I suggest. I follow Adam out of the bathroom and watch him look at the walls and ceiling out in the hall.

"It's not dried up," he says.

"How do you know? Maybe...," I think for a minute. "Maybe we used up all the water. That can happen can't it? We have to give water to all the horses and chickens and...,"

"Heidi, we didn't use all the water up," he says.

"Then maybe," I think, "maybe..., maybe the pump is pumping the water somewhere else."

"It's not."

"How do you know?" Adam ignores me so I ask again. "How do you know the pump isn't pumping it somewhere else?"

"It's not!"

Hmmm. I think some more while I follow behind Adam. "I know! Somebody's _stealing_ our water!"

Adam stops looking at the ceiling and yells, "no one is stealing our water Heidi! It's a broken water pipe! We have to find it and fix it!"

"Jeez, you don't have to yell! I'm just trying to help!"

He keeps looking up and says, "you're not helping. Why don't you go see if someone else needs help."

"No thanks. I'd rather help you," I tell him.

Adam sighs and says, "then keep quiet. I'm trying to think and that's hard to do with you talking so much."

"If the well is underground, and it's all dried up, does that mean the dirt is going to cave in there?" I ask.

"What?!"

"I said,"

"No, I heard what you said."

"Then what's the answer?"

"I don't know, it's not that kind of well."

"What kind of well is it?"

He starts to answer and then says, "dang it Heidi! Stop asking questions!"

I follow Adam downstairs and into the kitchen. Everyone is in here talking and Brian says, "it's not in the house."

"I guess that's good," Adam says. "Only problem is, if it's outside, we're gonna have to dig up a whole lot of dirt where the lines are, and we can't see in the dark."

"I could hold a flashlight for you," I tell them.

"That's not gonna help silly," Evan says.

"Why not?" Guthrie asks. "I could hold one too."

My brothers shake their head at him.

"I'll put a pot of coffee on," Hannah says. "You boys are going to need some caffeine." She gets the coffee pot and takes it to the sink. She turns the faucet on and stares at it. Nothing's coming out. "Guess I won't be making any coffee."

"Do you guys think someone's stealing our water?" I ask. "Because I do. Adam doesn't though."

"How would they do that?" Ford asks and he laughs.

"I don't know. Maybe the water is all dried up. Maybe, the well caved in and there's no water left. Maybe...,"

"Would you be quiet Heidi!" Both Adam and Brian yell at the same time.

"I'm just trying to help!" I remind them. "How does a pipe break, anyways? Does it just snap in half or something? Did we step on it too much? How come the pipes aren't above the ground? Then you could see them break. How come they're buried?"

"Yeah, how come?" Guthrie asks.

Everyone's looking at us now and not saying anything. Adam, Brian and Crane don't look very happy.

"How come the pipes are hidden behind the walls?" I ask. "Wouldn't it be better if you could see all the pipes, 'all' the time?" When they don't answer me I say, "do you think an animal chewed a hole in a pipe? Maybe it was a rat!"

Hannah walks over to me and says, "let's get you ready for bed." She leads me out of the kitchen by putting her hands on my shoulders and pushing me gently.

"What if there's a whole rat family!" I say on my way out. "And they live by the pipes and they chew on them?!"

I hear Crane say, "man that kid has an imagination!"

They all laugh and Guthrie says, "you should of heard what she said today at the fairgrounds! She said water comes out of rocks!"

"What?!" Evan yells and they all laugh.

"It's true!" I yell back into the kitchen and they keep laughing.

"She really believes it!" Guthrie says. "She said she hit a rock and water came squirting out of it like a sprinkler!"

Guthrie laughs and Brian yells, "what?!"

"Why would she say that?" Daniel asks.

"I don't know. Why does she say any of the things she says?" Evan says and some of them laugh.

I'm on the stairs now and I yell, "I can hear you!"

Hannah says, "shush, come get ready for bed."

"Hannah, the water really squirted out of the rock!" I tell her. "I saw it with my own eyes!"

"I know you think it did, but water doesn't squirt out of rocks."

I can still hear them talking and laughing in the kitchen and Adam asks, "Guthrie, what else did Heidi say about water squirting out of a rock?"

"She said when she hit the rock again, the water poured out instead of squirting out."

"Heidi!" Adam, Brian and Crane yell as they rush into the living room and look up at me on the stairs. Everyone else is following them in. Hannah and I stop walking up the stairs and I lean over the stair banister to look down at them.

"Tell me about the water squirting out of a rock," Adam says. "What kind of rock was it?"

I stare at him. Why does he want to know that? I'm confused. "It was a rock kind of rock."

"What does that mean?!" He asks.

I'm not sure why that made him mad, so I stare at him and shrug my shoulders.

Crane sighs and asks, "what did the rock look like?"

"A rock."

"What color was it?" Crane asks. He sounds a little frustrated and I don't understand why.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know, it's hard to remember. It had a bunch of mud on it."

"Mud?" Adam asks and I nod my head. "Why'd it have mud on it?"

What kind of question is that? "Because it was dirty?" I ask. I don't know if that's the right answer. I think these questions are kind of funny but my brothers don't look like they do. "Why do you guys wanna know so much about a rock?"

"Where is this rock with mud on it?" Brian asks.

I stare at him. "Outside." Where else would it be?

"I know it's outside!" Brian yells. "Where outside?"

"Hey! Don't yell at me! You guys were looking for water in the walls and I didn't yell at you! Maybe the rock is in the wall!" I yell.

"Is it?" Crane asks.

"No the rock isn't in the wall! That would be unbelievable!" I yell.

"But water squirting out of a rock 'is' believable?!" Brian yells.

"I saw it with my own eyes!"

Adam yells, "alright, knock it off everyone!" Then he calms down and says, "Heidi, we're trying to figure out if the rock is our broken water pipe. Did it look like a pipe to you?"

"Nope."

"What did it look like?"

"A rock."

Adam yells up at the ceiling like he's frustrated and throws his hands up in the air. "Heidi! 'Where' is the rock?" He looks at me and then says really loud and fast, "AND DON'T SAY OUTSIDE!"

I sigh. "It's somewhere where you can't see it."

"What does that mean?!" Brian asks.

"It 'means' you can't see it with your eyes."

"What the hell..." Brian starts to yell, but then he looks at me and stops and asks, "what does that even mean?!" He looks really frustrated too. What is so important about this stupid rock?! "We're getting nowhere with this kid! Tell us where the rock is!" He yells at me.

Somehow I think I'm gonna be in trouble now. Was it a water pipe instead of a rock? That makes more sense now. Of course water can't come out of a rock! That was so stupid! I can't believe I thought that!

"Heidi!"

"What?!"

"You're not listening to us!" Adam yells.

"Heidi," Hannah says quietly, "tell your brothers where the rock is. Even if they can't see it, they still want to know where it is."

"I don't want to get in trouble," I whisper up to her.

"Trouble for what?" She whispers back.

"In trouble for breaking a water pipe," I whisper.

"Oh."

"What are you whispering about?" Adam asks.

"Nothing," I tell him.

"She doesn't want to get in trouble," Hannah says.

"Hannah!" I yell.

"In trouble for what?" Adam asks.

I fold my arms across my chest and glare.

Hannah says, "she doesn't want to get in trouble for breaking a water pipe."

"Jeez! I'm never telling 'you' anything again!" I say quietly.

"I can hear you," she says, so I look up at her and glare.

"Heidi, you need to tell me where the broken water pipe is right now!" Adam says.

"I know where it is!" Guthrie yells. I glare at him now. "It's her pool!"

"What do you mean Guthrie?" Adam asks.

"That's where the rock is! She said she hit the rock and water squirted out. When she hit the rock again, water 'poured' out! She said she didn't have to fill the pool with the hose, because it filled itself!"

"Where's the pool?" Adam asks me.

"By the tractor," I tell him.

"Daniel get some flashlights," Adam says, "Ford, get the shovels, Evan, get the hose. We're gonna siphon the water out and dig up this broken pipe."

"What do you want me to do?" Guthrie asks.

"Go to bed."

Guthrie puts his head down and starts walking upstairs while my brothers start running outside. I feel bad Guthrie doesn't get to help. I don't want to help. If my rock is a water pipe, I think I'm gonna be in trouble. I don't want to be out there when they find out what it is. When Guthrie gets upstairs and is by me I whisper, "I think I still want to run away tomorrow."

"Good!" He whispers back. "Because so do I!"

Hannah says, "I know you two want to help, but you really need to get some sleep."

"I don't want to help!" I tell her. "I don't want to be anywhere near them if I broke a water pipe!"

"I'm sure they won't be mad at you," Hannah says.

"I'm not!"

"Go get your pajamas on," she says, "while I tuck Guthrie into bed."

"Hannah! I don't need to be tucked in," Guthrie says. He's not mad at her though, he's smiling and so is she.

"I know. I like to do it," she says. She follows Guthrie to the bedroom and I walk into mine and close my door.

* * *

It doesn't take me long to get my pajamas on. I'm glad I don't have to brush my teeth tonight. I open my door and run down the hall to Guthrie's room. He's on a top bunk sitting up and Hannah is standing next to his bed looking up at him.

"Guthrie, I'm sure if it was daytime they'd let you help them," she says.

"No they wouldn't, Hannah!"

I climb up the ladder on the other bunk bed and jump on top of it to listen.

"They never let me help them! Ford and Evan get to help with everything now and I don't! They treat me like I'm _little_, like Heidi!"

"Hey!" I yell and I throw a pillow over at him.

"Stop it!" He yells and throws it back.

I get ready to throw it back but Hannah says stop so I put it down. "Guthrie, they don't mean to treat you like you're little..,"

"They do it all the time!" Guthrie says.

"Yeah, they do," I tell Hannah.

Hannah looks at me and says, "why don't you go wait for me in your room."

I shake my head at her. "I'm too scared."

"Scared of 'what'?" She asks. She puts her hand on her hip and it looks like she doesn't believe me.

I shrug my shoulders. "The noises from outside."

"Heidi," she says.

"What?! I am!"

"Well, then be quiet while I talk to Guthrie."

I hug my knees up to my chest to listen.

"Guthrie, your brothers don't think of you as little."

"Yes they do!" He says. "They never let me help with important things."

"Like what?"

I'm getting bored now so I lay down and find a loose thread on Ford's blanket to pull at.

"Hannah, the only thing they let me help with is washing the dishes! They don't let me fix the truck, or the jeep, or the tractor. They just tell me to hold the hammer our some other tool. Like they tell Heidi to do, like I'm a baby."

"Hey!" I sit up and glare at him. Hannah glares back at me so I lay down again and pull on the thread some more. It's pretty long now.

"They don't think you're a baby," Hannah says.

"Mostly they tell me to watch when they try to fix something. I've watched them fix things on the Ranch for a long time now. When are they gonna let me help?"

"I don't know," Hannah says. "When did Ford get to start helping?"

"I don't know. It seems like he's always been helping them. But with me, it's like they see me and Heidi as a pair. They tell Heidi and me to go play, or go on an adventure, or...,"

I sit up again. "Hey, I like all that kind of stuff."

"Heidi, be quiet," Hannah says. "Let Guthrie talk."

I sigh and lay back down again. The thread I've been pulling is almost all the way out of the blanket now. It's so long! I've never seen a thread this long before.

"It's like I'm Heidi's babysitter!" I hear Guthrie yell. I sit up again, but don't say a word. "I think if Heidi wasn't here, they'd let me help all the time."

"What do you mean if I 'wasn't here'?" I ask. "You mean if I was dead?"

"No, he doesn't mean that," Hannah says.

"Then what does he mean? Does he mean if I wasn't born? Because that's the same thing as being dead!"

"Guthrie doesn't mean that," Hannah says again. "Just listen, or you can go to your room."

I sigh and lay back down again. The thread is out of the blanket now so I pull on another one.

"I want to help them!" Guthrie says. I want to go outside right now and help them! I shouldn't be in here going to bed like a little baby!"

Guthrie sounds really upset now.

"Maybe you should go outside and help them," I suggest.

"Adam told me to go to bed."

"So." When Hannah glares at me for saying that I say, "maybe if you go out there and say you came to help, they'll say they need your help."

"Help do what? Hold their tools?" He asks. He sounds really sad.

"Tell them you don't want to hold their tools."

Hannah walks over to my bunk now and looks up at me. She doesn't look very happy.

I hold up the thread in my hand for her to see. "Look at the thread I pulled out of Ford's blanket."

"Don't do that. You're going to unravel the whole blanket if you pull the threads out," she says.

"Really?" That interests me. I wonder if I have any loose threads on my blanket.

"Yes. Heidi, if you can't be quiet and listen, I need you to go to your room."

"Ok, I'll be quiet. But first can I tell Guthrie he should fix something on his own to show them he can fix stuff?"

"Like what?" Guthrie asks. "They fix everything that breaks."

"Break something. Then fix it."

"Heidi, go to your room," Hannah says. She sounds tired now.

"Why? I want to be in here where you guys are."

"I don't want you in here anymore," she says.

"Why?"

"Because you're not being quiet."

I groan. "I tried to be quiet."

"I'm sure you did," Hannah says. "It just wasn't quiet enough."

I swing my legs over the side of the railing and scoot up on top of it.

"What are you doing?" Hannah asks.

"Getting down."

"You're not going to jump down from there, are you?"

I look at her and say, "yes I am. I don't need to use the ladder. I just jump down like this!" I jump down, only it's more like a fall down and I land on my feet for a second before I fall to my hands and knees. Almost! Pretty soon I'll be able to land upright like Guthrie.

"Heidi! Don't jump like that!" Hannah says.

I sit on the floor and look up at her. "Like what?"

"That high! Don't jump from the bed like that!"

"Why?"

"Because you could hurt yourself!"

"Hannah! I'm not six! I've been jumping off this forever! I can almost land on my feet."

"Well, I don't want to see you do that again," she says. "You could've killed yourself!"

Guthrie and I laugh at that.

"That isn't funny," she says. When we don't stop laughing she says, "bedtime, you two. Heidi, go to your room."

"See!" Guthrie says. "Even you just said 'you two'! It's like Heidi and me are one person!" Guthrie sounds upset again.

I laugh at that and Hannah glares at me and says, "go, Heidi. This isn't funny." She's not smiling and the voice she's using is her loud voice. Her mad voice. Now I'm not happy.

"Fine!" I stand up and look up at Guthrie. "Remember that 'thing' we were talking about doing tomorrow?" I ask him.

"Yes!"

"I definitely want to do that!"

"Me too!" He says.

"What are you two talking about?" Hannah asks.

I shrug my shoulders as I walk out of the bedroom. I hear Guthrie complain to her again that she said 'you two' again. I wonder what they're gonna talk about now. I wish I could stay and listen, but I guess I'd better do what Hannah says and go to my room.

* * *

I sit on my bed and wait for Hannah to come tuck me in. I don't like waiting. I can hear my brothers working outside. I wish I had a regular window in my room but I don't. My window is up high and it's small. It's the shape of a stop sign. I don't ever get to look out it. I can't stand being in my room by myself waiting, so I decide to go into Adam and Hannah's bedroom to look out their window.

When I'm out in the hallway Guthrie and Hannah are still talking. I have a feeling they're going to be talking for a while. The bedroom is dark so I turn a lamp on and walk over to one of the windows. I move the curtains to the side and look out. I can see lights outside where they're working. I think the light is from a few flashlights and a few lanterns.

It's actually really good light to see by. I can see all the water is out of my pool and they've dug deeper. They're digging around something that has water coming out of it. That must be the pipe. I hope they're not mad at me for breaking it. What if they can't fix it? What if it's too expensive to fix? Adam said they can't afford to fix it! How are we gonna live without water?! They're definitely gonna be mad at me! I'm glad Guthrie still wants to run away!

I move away from the window and go get on Adam and Hannah's bed. I'm feeling tired now so I think I'll wait for Hannah in here. I get under the covers on Adam's side of the bed and lay my head on his pillow. I bring my hand up to touch my cheek. It still hurts. I wonder why Gary's Dad is so mean? Is that why Rick and Gary are so mean?

I was having so much fun tonight until we ran into Gary. My family always has fun at rodeos, or BBQs, or dances. It's so much fun to be around friends and my family and dance with my brothers. We all have fun on nights like that. But it all got ruined when we ran into Gary and I started fighting with him. Then it wasn't fun anymore. Is that why Adam says fighting isn't right? Because it ruined the rest of the night for my whole family. And Gary's family.

I yawn and turn on my side so I'm facing Hannah's side of the bed. I wonder if Gary's Dad is in jail right now. I wonder who took Gary home. What if Gary's Dad isn't in jail?! What if they let him go, or he escaped and he's coming here! What if he's coming to get me! What if he comes now and sees my brothers working outside, but they don't see him, and he sneaks inside the house! I'd better hide! I pull the covers up over my head. I wish Hannah was done tucking Guthrie in. I'm scared now. What if Gary's Dad brings a shotgun and kills my brothers!

I start to cry quietly. Should I go outside and warn my brothers? Should I take Brian his shotgun? I don't know what to do!


	16. Chapter 16

I wish I could make my brain stop thinking about bad things happening! I'm so scared laying here under the covers! It's so dark under the covers too! Where's Hannah? Why is she staying with Guthrie so long? What if Gary's Dad is outside right now?

"Heidi? What are you doing in here?"

That's Hannah's voice! I throw the covers off me and sit up. "I'm scared!" I cry.

"Of what?" She sits down on the bed next to me and holds me.

"Of Gary's Dad! He's gonna come get me!"

"No he's not," she says as she pulls me up onto her lap and holds me close to her. "Nothing's going to happen to you. You're safe here." She kisses the top of my head.

"No I'm not! None of us are! He's coming and he's gonna kill all of us and he's...,"

"Stop Heidi. You're letting your imagination run wild."

Why do they always say that?! I'm not letting it run wild! It just runs wild all by itself! "Hannah! I'm scared!"

"I know, but you don't need to be."

I cry louder and look up at her. "He's gonna come get me! I just know he is!"

She smiles down at me and says, "let's talk about something else."

"No! I don't want to! I'm afraid of him! He's mean and big and scary! He's...,"

Hannah interrupts me again. "Heidi, calm down." She starts to rock with me back and forth gently while I cry. "I know you're scared. I think..,"

She stops talking when I scream. I scream because I hear the front door slam closed and footsteps running up the stairs. "He's here!" I scream and scream and scream as loud as I can until Hannah starts shaking me.

"Stop Heidi!" She keeps saying my name while she shakes me and I stare at the doorway to her room. Daniel, Evan and Ford run inside and Guthrie runs in after them.

"What's wrong?" They all ask. Guthrie's holding his BB gun.

I cry and reach up and put my arms around Hannah's neck and lift myself up so I can lay my head on her shoulder. She hugs me tightly and says, "sh, everything's going to be all right."

"What's wrong?" Guthrie asks.

"She's afraid Gary's Dad is going to come get her." She rubs my back and says to me, "he's not going to Heidi. He's not."

"I'll hurt him if he does Heidi!" Guthrie says. "I've got my BB gun. I'll protect you!" He sits on the bed next to us and looks at my face resting on Hannah's shoulder.

"Thanks Guthrie," I tell him and I wipe my eyes.

"We'll all protect you Heidi," Daniel says.

Evan says, "we won't let that man hurt you again!"

"What if he's outside right now hurting Adam, Brian and Crane?" I ask. I sit back down in Hannah's lap and look at Daniel, Evan and Ford standing in the doorway.

"He couldn't hurt them!" Daniel says.

Ford says, "the three of them would clobber that guy in less than a minute!"

"We don't have to worry about that happening," Hannah says, "because he's in jail."

"But what about when he gets out of jail?" I ask while I look up at her.

"I'll clobber him!" Guthrie says. "I'll hurt him so bad he'll never think about hurting you again!"

"Guthrie," Hannah says, "that won't be necessary. Gary's Dad isn't going to bother Heidi, or any of us when he's out of jail."

"Well just in case, I'll keep my BB gun right next to my bed so I can protect you!" He tells me.

Hannah sighs and says, "let's change the subject. Are they done fixing the pipe?"

"Almost," Daniel says. "They're patching it up as best as they can tonight, but they have to buy a new pipe to replace it tomorrow."

"How come you guys aren't helping?" Guthrie asks.

"It's a school night," Evan says. "'Dad' told us to go inside and go to bed."

The three of them laugh about that while Hannah looks at Guthrie and says, "see, even these guys don't get to help sometimes."

"Did I break the pipe?" I ask very quietly while I look up at them.

"Yes," Daniel says, "but it was going to break anyway."

"I broke it?" Oh no! I wonder how much it's gonna cost to fix it.

"It was ready to break," Evan says, but I don't understand what that means.

"Are they mad at me?" I ask, but before they can answer I hear the front door open and voices downstairs. I cling on to Hannah because I'm scared again.

Daniel looks downstairs and says, "relax, it's just Adam, Brian and Crane coming inside."

That doesn't help me relax because I don't know if they're mad at me or not. I hear footsteps coming upstairs.

"Why are you guys in here?" Adam asks from the doorway. When he sees Guthrie he says, "how come you're not in bed? And why do you have your BB gun?"

Brian and Crane are behind him now trying to look inside. "What's going on?" Crane asks.

"Heidi's scared," Hannah says. "Guthrie, go back to bed, and you boys go get ready for bed. Everything's under control."

"Remember, don't use the water unless it's absolutely necessary," Brian tells them.

Evan, Daniel, Ford and Guthrie leave the room while Adam Brian and Crane come inside. I look up at them and say, "are you mad I broke the pipe?"

"No," Adam says. "Why would we be mad?" He sits down on the bed next to us.

"Because it's going to be expensive to fix?" I ask.

"Heidi, you didn't break the pipe," Crane says.

"I didn't?"

"No. Well, yes and no," he says. I don't understand that so I just stare at him. I think he knows I don't understand because he says, "the pipe was old. It was rusty and probably ready to crack. It was probably leaking before you dug your pool."

"Is that why the ground was all wet?" I ask.

"Probably," Brian says. "The pipe was brown, rusty, and corroded so that's probably why you thought it was a rock. It wasn't a silver metal color."

I sigh and look up at Hannah. She kisses my forehead and says, "let's put you in your bed now."

"No!" I yell and I wrap my arms around her waist and bury my face against her stomach.

I hear Brian and Crane say goodnight and Hannah says the same thing back. Then I feel someone smoothing my hair back and Adam says, "you know there's nothing to be afraid of."

I don't say anything or look at either of them. I just keep my arms wrapped around Hannah tightly. I can feel Adam try to take me away from Hannah so I grab on to her tighter. "I don't want to go to bed!" I yell at him.

Adam pulls harder until I have to let go. I think about kicking my legs and hitting, but I don't want to hurt Hannah. I don't want to hurt Adam either, but I also don't want to go to my room and be alone in bed waiting for Gary's Dad.

"Pleeeeeeeeaze, pleeeeeeeeaze, don't make me go to bed," I cry as I turn to hug Adam. "Pleeeeeeeaze."

"Okay," Adam says quietly. "Okay, calm down Heidi." He rubs my back and sits back down on the bed next to Hannah. They talk to each other quietly so I can't hear what they're saying over my crying. I don't care what they're saying as long as I don't have to be alone in my room.

After a while I start to doze off and I must've fallen asleep because when I open my eyes I'm laying in Adam and Hannah's bed. Adam's lamp is on and he's sleeping on the floor with a pillow and a blanket right next to the bed. I sigh and close my eyes and go back to sleep.

* * *

I only woke up two other times last night and both those times I was screaming because Gary's Dad was beating me up. Adam and Hannah helped me go back to sleep but every time I shut my eyes I'd see him. He was bigger and meaner and scarier. But now it's time to get up and get ready for school. Why is Brian trying to wake me up?

"Get up," he says while he shakes me.

"No. I'm tired! Let me go back to sleep!"

"Time to get up," he says as he pulls the covers back.

"Go away Brian! You're bugging me!"

He pulls my arms up so I'm sitting up and I groan. "Noooooo. Let me sleep."

"I don't have time for this," he says. He picks me up and carries me to my room and plops me on my bed. "Are you going to dress yourself, or do I have to do it for you?"

"I'm ten! I can dress myself!" I yell from my bed, but my eyes are closed.

"Five minutes," he says. "You have five minutes to get dressed and come downstairs for breakfast." He's quiet for a minute which is nice while I sit here on my bed with my eyes closed. "Did you hear me?" He asks.

"Five minutes," I tell him. He leaves my room and I hear the door shut so I lay down and go back to sleep.

* * *

Five minutes sure seemed like a short time because as soon as I closed my eyes Brian is trying to wake me up again.

"You said five minutes," I tell him sleepily.

"It's been ten." He picks me up and stands me up on the floor and then he starts pulling clothes out of my dresser. I fall to the floor and the next thing I know is he's on the floor with me starting to take my pajama shirt off.

"No stop!" I yell and push his hands away. "I'll get dressed! Just go away!"

"I'm not going away. I'll face the door while you get yourself dressed, but I'm not going anywhere until you're dressed."

Guthrie's in my doorway now and he says, "Heidi, remember... Oh my gosh! Your face!"

I get up really fast and jump up to see my face in the mirror. I can't see it that well so I open my bottom dresser drawer and step on it's edge with one foot while I put my fingers on top of my dresser and pull myself up so I can stand with both feet on the drawer and see my face in the mirror. I gasp when I see my cheek. It's not purple anymore, it's black and blue. I get down and sit cross legged on the floor and cry.

"Please don't make me go to school like this!"

Brian looks down at me and says, "you've been to school with black eyes before and bruises from fighting."

"I know, but everyone's gonna know who did this to me! Gary's gonna laugh at me and tell everyone his Dad did this! Please don't make me go!"

"Man I hate that family!" Brian says. "Ok, you can stay home. I guess that would be best."

"But Heidi," Guthrie says, "remember that thing we were gonna do?" I look up at him and have no clue what he's talking about. "_Remember_," he says, "that _thing_ we're going to do?"

"Oh yeah," I say. Now I remember, we were gonna run away. "I'm not sure I want to do that anymore."

"Why not?" Guthrie asks. I can tell he still wants to.

"What thing?" Brian asks. "What are you guys talking about?"

"Nothing!" Guthrie says quickly. "Heidi, I still think we should."

I sigh. "I guess I'll go to school."

"What?!" Brian asks. Why?!"

"I forgot I had to do something today," I tell him. "At school," I add. I can tell Brian doesn't believe me.

"Get dressed," he says. He gets up and walks out of my room, but he doesn't shut my door. He and Guthrie turn their backs towards me and talk while I get dressed.

"Where's Hannah? How come you woke us up?" Guthrie asks.

"She went into town with Adam and Crane. She called Marie this morning to see if she could pick up a shift today and Marie said yes. Adam and Crane are getting new pipes."

"When will they be back?" He asks. I know that sounds like a weird question to ask Brian, but I know he's asking it so we know if they're coming home soon. We don't want them to see us walking on the road.

"Probably not until after lunch."

"Good," Guthrie says.

"What?" Brian asks.

"Nothing." Then Guthrie asks excitedly, "can I help you guys fix the pipes?"

"No, it'll be faster if we fix them ourselves," Brian says and I know that hurt Guthrie.

I finish getting dressed quickly and run by them to use the bathroom.

"Come down and eat some breakfast when you're done," Brian tells me on his way to the stairs. Guthrie hangs back and whispers, "get your jacket and your flashlight and hide it by the door."

"What about my BB gun?"

"Yes, that too. I got up really early and packed two packs for us. It's a good thing only Brian's home so we only have to sneak by him."

"Guthrie, are you sure you still want to run away?"

"Yes! I'm tired of them treating me like a baby! They never let me help with anything important!"

"Ok." I close the bathroom door. I'm not so sure this is what _I_ want to do anymore, but he was running away for me, so I'll run away for him.

* * *

Brian made pancakes for breakfast and bacon. We eat while he cleans up the mess and when we're finished eating there's still four pancakes left and three pieces of bacon. When Brian's not looking Guthrie wraps the leftovers in two napkins and puts them under his shirt. Brian picks up our lunch bags and turns around to hand them to us.

"What happened to the leftovers?" He asks.

Guthrie and I stare up at him and I don't know what to say. Neither does Guthrie, I guess, because he doesn't say anything either.

"What's going on?" Brian asks us. He folds his arms across his chest and glares at us.

"Nothing," Guthrie says. "I don't know what leftovers you're talking about."

He nudges me so I say, "yeah, I didn't see any leftovers."

"What?! There were pancakes and bacon left over. What happened to them?"

"We ate them all while you weren't looking," I tell him. "We just stuffed them all in our mouthes."

"Ok, you two," when he says that I hear Guthrie sigh, "what's going on?"

"Nothing!" Guthrie says. "We'd better go, or we're gonna miss the bus."

Brian glares at us but says, "ok, but I still feel like you two are up to something."

"Well we're not," Guthrie says.

We take our lunches from Brian and run to the front door. I grab my jacket and BB gun and Guthrie grabs my flashlight and we run out the door before Brian gets into the living room.

"Run to the barn," Guthrie whispers, so that's what I do.

* * *

Once we're both in the barn Guthrie runs over to a stack of hay bales and says, "throw me your jacket." When I throw it to him I watch him stuff it in a pack along with my flashlight. "This one's yours," he says while holding the pack out to me. I take it and put it on. Guthrie puts a pack on his back and I can tell his is heavier than mine because it has more stuff in it.

"What's in these?" I ask. We've never run away with lots of stuff before.

"Camping stuff. I couldn't pack a tent because it's too big and we each have a blanket instead of a sleeping bag, but I've got matches and toilet paper and food and everything!"

"Wow!"

"We have to carry our BB guns and fishing poles, but that's ok."

"When did you do all this Guthrie?"

"I told you, I got up really early." He crouches down low and looks through the barn door to the house. "Now we just have to sneak out of here, and we'll be on our way."

This sounds fun now. I don't think of it as running away, I think of it more like we're going on a camping trip. Just the two of us!

"I think Brian's still in the house," he says. "We'll sneak along the fence on the pasture side until we're out of view from the house. Come on!"

We run out the back of the barn with our stuff and climb over the fence. That takes a little bit of time because we have a lot of stuff to carry, but once everything's over we crouch down and run along the fence that runs along the driveway. Once we're out of view from the house, we climb over the fence to walk along the driveway. Now I'm excited!

"I can't wait to get there!" Guthrie says. He sounds just as excited as I am. "We can go fishing, and climb trees, and shoot stuff with our guns!"

"I know! It's gonna be so much fun!" I don't even notice how heavy my pack feels. I wonder what's in it, it feels like a bunch of rocks.

We talk to each other excitedly along our driveway about everything we're gonna do when we get to the lake. We're so excited we don't notice Brian leaning against the big oak tree at the end of the driveway.

"Hey! Where do you think you guys are going?!" He yells. We stop and stare at him. He walks over to us and says, "it doesn't look like you're going to school with all that stuff you're carrying. It looks like you're going on a camping trip." Neither one of us says anything so Brian says, "where are you going?"

"How'd you get here so fast?" Guthrie asks.

"I watched you run into the barn so I figured I'd go wait for you at the end of the driveway. What are you two up to?"

That makes Guthrie mad. "We're not one person!" He yells at Brian. I look at Guthrie because I don't understand what that means. I don't think Brian does either.

"What?" He asks.

"You said 'you two'! What are 'you two' doing?!"

Brian is still confused. "What?"

"Never mind!" Guthrie yells. "We're running away!"

I look at Brian to see what he thinks about that, and when he starts to open his mouth I point at him and say, "you can't come with us!" Sometimes he tries to run away with me, but it always turns out to be a trick to make me come home.

Brian glares at me and says, "I wasn't gonna say that."

"Oh."

"I was gonna ask why do you want to run away."

"Because you never let me help you fix anything!" Guthrie yells. Brian looks at me now like he's waiting for an answer.

"Um...," I kind of forgot why I wanted to run away. "Um...," I look at Guthrie.

"She's running away because you guys are always mad at her!" Guthrie yells.

"I am?" I ask him.

"Aren't you?" He asks.

"I guess so?"

"We're running away!" Guthrie yells again. "And you can't stop us!"

Brian stares at us quietly. He stops glaring at us and puts his arms down to his sides. "Ok, I won't try to stop you."

"What?!" We both ask.

"I won't try to stop you," he says again. "If you two want to run away, I won't try to stop you."

I'm not sure what to do or say. None of my brothers have ever said that before. Usually they get mad and yell. "And you won't try to go with us?" I ask Brian.

"Nope," he says. His eyes look a little sad now. I look at Guthrie to see what he's thinking. He looks confused too.

"So you're just gonna let us go?" Guthrie asks Brian.

"Yep. If you don't want to live here, I'm not going to force you."

"Is this a trick?" I ask.

"No, this isn't a trick." He kneels down in front of us and says, "you guys like to run away a lot, so I guess you're not happy here. I'm going to miss you a lot and..,"

"That sounds like a trick," Guthrie says.

Brian sighs and stands up. "It's not a trick."

"Ok," Guthrie says.

All three of us stand here staring at each other until Guthrie says, "ok. Then I guess it's time for us to go."

I look at Brian and he looks so sad I feel like crying.

"Ok Heidi," Guthrie says, "are you ready?" I look at him and he looks sad too.

I nod my head.

"Ok," Guthrie says. "Goodbye Brian."

"Goodbye," he says.

"Bye," I say quietly.

"Goodbye," he says.

Guthrie and I turn towards the road and walk away slowly. I turn around and Brian is standing on our driveway watching us leave. I feel really sad. I feel like running back to Brian and hugging him.

"Guthrie, are you sure we should run away?"

Guthrie's wiping his eyes.

"Are you crying?!" I ask.

"No." I think he was. "You heard Brian," he says, "he wants us to leave. He doesn't care about us!"

"He doesn't?" I ask. I look behind me and Brian is still there watching us.

"No!"

"But he said he'd miss us."

"So! He didn't try to stop us, so he must want us to go!"

"Ok," I say, but I'm not so sure about that. If Brian wants us to go, why did he look so sad? And why is he still watching us leave?


	17. Chapter 17

I keep turning around and looking back at Brian while we walk down the road.

"Stop doing that!" Guthrie yells.

"Why? He looks so sad," I tell him.

"Well he's not! He's just trying to trick us!"

"Then why doesn't he go back to the house? Why is he still watching us?"

"He wants us to feel sorry for him," Guthrie says.

"Well, it's working 'cause I feel sorry for him. I want to go back Guthrie."

"That's what he wants! He's trying to trick us! Just keep walking and don't look back."

I sigh. "Ok." But I feel bad so I turn around and yell, "we're running away to Johnson's Lake!"

"Heidi!" Guthrie yells. He turns around and yells, "no we're not! She's just trying to trick you!" Then he pushes me and asks, "why'd you tell him that?!"

"So he wouldn't be so sad. If he knows where we're going he won't have to worry."

"If we tell him where we're going, we're not running away!"

"Oh." I think about that for a minute and then I turn back around and yell to Brian, "I was just trying to trick you! We're not really going there."

"Heidi, stop talking to him!" He pulls on my arm to get me to start walking again. "Stop thinking about Brian and start thinking about all the fun we're going to have when we get to the lake."

We are going to have fun. This is much funner than going to school. The Johnson's Ranch is across the road from our Ranch. Well, the lake is across the road. The house is pretty far away from the lake. Mrs. Johnson is the only one left now and she lets me and my brothers use her lake anytime we want to. We go fishing there a lot. It's a short walk down the road to a path that leads to the lake. The path winds through some brush areas and along the way there's clearings and deer paths to follow until finally you reach the wooded area around the lake.

When Guthrie and I reach the path on the side of the road I stop and look back at Brian. He's still watching us. "Guthrie, Brian's still watching us."

"I don't care."

He walks off the road onto the path and I follow behind him as I wave to Brian. He waves back. "Guthrie don't you think it's weird Brian is letting us run away?"

"No. It's a trick. Just ignore him. Now that we're away from the road can you see him?"

I look back. "No."

"Good! Now stop talking about him and start walking!"

As we walk along the path I feel weird. How come Brian didn't get mad? How come he's not trying to stop us? I don't understand. Is he sad? He looked sad and that makes me feel sad. "Guthrie, maybe we should ask Brian to come with us. We're not that far from the road so we can easily go back and get him."

"No! If he comes with us we're not running away!"

"But sometimes he wants to come with me when I run away."

"And how many of those times has he talked you into coming back home?" Guthrie asks.

I think for a minute. "All of them."

"See, if he wants to run away with you, it's because he's trying to trick you into coming back home."

We walk quietly now. I don't know what Guthrie's thinking about, but I'm thinking about Brian.

* * *

After what seems like forever, we come to the lake. The lake is big and is surrounded by a few oak trees and lots of pine trees. Guthrie and I walk almost half way around the lake to our favorite spot.

"This will be our camp," Guthrie says. He puts his fishing pole and BB gun down and takes his pack off to lean it against a tree. "What do you want to do first?"

"Fish!" I yell. We've been so busy lately we haven't fished in a long time. I throw my pole and gun down and take my pack off too. It feels so good to get it off my back! It's heavy and it made the back of my shirt all sweaty. I wonder what's inside, so I open it. My jacket is on top and after I pull that out I see my flashlight and a bunch of canned food. It looks like a few cans of beef stew and baked beans. Guthrie packed me a plate, bowl, cup and silverware. "You found my pocketknife?!" I yell. Adam took it away from me a while ago so I'm surprised to see it. "Where'd you find it?"

"Adam's dresser."

"Thanks!"

"Just promise me you won't cut yourself. Or me!" He adds.

"I promise." I keep looking through my pack and find an empty canteen and two more cans of baked beans. No wonder why my pack was so heavy! There's a blanket at the bottom of the pack. I take the canteen out and run down to the water to fill it. I take a drink and then start turning rocks over to look for bait.

When Guthrie and I both find bait we bait our hooks and cast out our lines. Then we sit on rocks and wait for something to bite.

"This sure beats going to school," Guthrie says.

"I know." I think for a while and then ask, "we're not gonna get in trouble for not going to school today are we?"

"We're running away," Guthrie says, "we don't have to worry about getting in trouble anymore."

We talk more about school and then we talk about what fun stuff we're going to do here at the lake. Then since I haven't seen Guthrie all weekend, I ask him about the parade and rodeo.

"I met up with Kenny at the parade and found out he invited Scott to hang out with us."

"Oh no! What happened?"

"When he met us at the Candy Vault, he wanted to go inside instead of watching the parade."

"Well, I guess that's ok. It's fun to go in there. Denise and I went in there after the parade and bought five dollars worth of candy," I tell him.

"Whoa! That's a lot. Well Scott asked us what kind of candy we wanted and when we said jawbreakers...,"

"Did you get one of those huge ones?! Denise and I did!"

"Let me finish. No, we didn't get them because Scott said the candy we got had to be laying out on the counter, and not up on top of the counter in a jar."

"Why?"

"Because he said the candy laying out is easier to put in his pocket!"

"Oh no! Did he steal it?! What did you do?!"

"I didn't have to do anything! Kenny told Scott not to do that!"

"Kenny did?!" I don't really like Kenny all the time because he's mean to me sometimes, but he's Guthrie's friend so I try to get along with him.

"Yeah, he told Scott he didn't want to get in trouble for stealing and he told Scott stealing isn't right. Then Scott said we were nerds..,"

"What?!"

"He said we were nerds for not stealing, so Kenny pushed him."

"In the store?!"

"Yep! So I grabbed Kenny's arm and pulled him out of the store. We ran up the street to hide from Scott. I wanted to cross the street, but the parade had already started."

"Did he find you?"

"No! Then guess what?! Kenny said he was sorry to me because he knew I liked Scott. So I told him, "I don't like Scott!" and he said he thought I did, so he didn't say anything!"

"That's the same thing that happened with me, Denise and Kelly! I thought she liked her, and she thought I liked her!"

"I was so surprised!" Guthrie says. "Kenny said he didn't like all the vandalizing Scott did in the boy's bathroom, but just went along with it because he didn't know what else to do."

"Did you guys get in trouble for that?"

"Yes! Scott got suspended on Friday for bringing firecrackers to school, and all of us got our lunch recesses taken away for a week!"

"Your lucky 'you' didn't get suspended. If it was me, I bet Mr. Brick would've suspended me for sure! Why did Kenny invite Scott to the parade if he didn't like him?"

"He did that before the firecrackers and the vandalizing."

"Did Scott ever find you guys?"

"Nope. We never saw him after that. Not even at the rodeo."

We talk about the rodeo then. Guthrie tells me all about it and I wish I could've seen it. It's the first time I've missed it. I wish I never left Hannah. I start to feel sad, but Guthrie gets a bite on his line so we both jump up and I watch him reel in a good-sized trout.

"This will be great for dinner tonight," he says. He slams the fish against a rock to kill it and then hooks it to a line that he stakes in the ground next to the water. The fish we catch will stay fresh this way, because they float in the water. "We can save the cans of beef stew for a night when we don't catch any fish."

That makes us quiet. I don't know what Guthrie's thinking about, but I'm thinking about how we're gonna be here more than one night. I never really thought about us being out here for more than one night.

"Do you want to go climb a tree?" Guthrie asks.

"Sure."

We leave our lines in the water and run to the nearest oak tree. Pine trees aren't fun to climb, at least not the kind we have in this area. They're just skinny trees that reach up high in the sky, as high as you can imagine, and they sway back and forth in the wind.

We climb up the oak tree as high as we can and look all around. I look in the direction of the path we took to get here and wonder what Brian's doing.

* * *

The rest of the morning we climb trees, play tag and catch fish. I've caught two fish and Guthrie caught two more. My brothers love fishing in this lake because no one comes here, so there's lots of fish just waiting to be caught.

"Let's eat our lunch now," Guthrie says.

We don't have a watch with us so we guess it's lunchtime since our stomachs are growling. We run to our packs and pick up our lunch bags. Guthrie immediately throws his on the ground. "Eew! Ants!"

I look at my bag and there's ants all over mine too!

"Look," Guthrie says and he points to where he put the leftover breakfast pancakes and bacon. Ants are crawling all over it. "I don't think they want our lunches right now. I think they just want the breakfast food."

I look at my lunch bag and shake it and watch all the ants fall to the ground. I think Guthrie's right about the ants not wanting our lunch, because when I open my bag there aren't any ants inside. There's none in his either, so we take our lunches down to the water to eat while we sit on a log and look out at the lake.

"Do you think Brian made our lunch, or Hannah?" I ask him.

"Brian. My sandwich has hot sauce in it."

I haven't gotten to my sandwich yet. I always eat my dessert first. Hannah's homemade chocolate chip cookies. Brian used to cook all the time before Hannah came. He puts hot sauce in 'everything'! I pull my sandwich out of my bag, unwrap it, and take a bite.

"Yum!" I love Hannah's cooking, but sometimes I miss Brian's, and this takes so good! "Guthrie, do you think Hannah's our Mom?"

"I don't know. I don't really think about that."

"Why not?"

"I don't know. I just don't."

I sigh. "Do you wish you had a mom?"

"I don't know. I told you, I don't really think about that."

"Ever?" I ask.

"No."

I sigh again. "I think I want Hannah to be my mom." I say that really quietly and then look at him to see if he likes that or not. His expression doesn't change. "Do you think that's ok?"

"I guess so. I don't think she'd mind. Are you gonna ask her?"

I'm quiet for a while before I say, "no. I'm too afraid to."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I guess it doesn't feel right to ask her."

"I don't think you have to _ask_ her."

"Guthrie, do you think Adam _wants_ to be our Dad?"

"He says he does."

"Do you believe him?"

Guthrie throws a stick into the water. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Why?"

"Because we're running away. We don't have a mom or a dad or any brothers anymore!"

I don't know what to say to that. That makes me feel really sad. I don't have any brothers anymore? "Guthrie, why do you think Brian let us run away?"

"Because he doesn't like us anymore."

"Do you really think that? Don't you think he's going to come get us?"

"I hope not!"

"Do you think Adam and Crane are home now? Do you think Brian told them we ran away?"

"Yes!"

He sounds mad, so I ask, "do you think _they_ love us and will come looking for us?"

"No! I think they're at home fixing the water pipe! I think Brian told them we ran away and they probably said good, that's two less mouths to feed!"

I guess it would be cheaper for them if we're gone. When Hannah came, Brian was mad and said she was one more mouth to feed.

"Heidi, can you stop talking about this kind of stuff? It's hot. Why don't we go swimming?"

That sounds like a lot of fun! It is hot. I just wish I was wearing shorts instead of jeans. Guthrie wore his shorts today so he runs into the water first, and as soon as I have my shoes and socks off, I follow in after him.

* * *

I don't know how long we've been swimming for. I wish Guthrie had a watch. As soon as one of our brothers gets a new one, they'll give Guthrie their old one. So right now, we don't have a watch. The only way we know what time it is, is by looking at how high the sun is in the sky. The other way to tell what time it is, is if our stomachs start growling.

The lake water is cold. The river that feeds into it comes down from the high country so it's melted snow water. The lake is so big though so it's not _too_ cold, and it's so hot outside the water feels good, but after a while I start to feel cold.

"I need to sit out," I tell Guthrie. "I'm getting cold."

"Ok. I guess we should go get some firewood."

"I'm gonna lay out on a rock to get warm first," I tell him. I find a nice big smooth granite rock and lay out on it with my face pointing up towards the sun. Only the sun isn't right up in the middle of the sky anymore, it's down behind the tall pine trees. There's a nice breeze that would probably feel good if I wasn't so wet and cold, but I love laying out in the sun like this.

It's so quiet here. I lay with my eyes closed and the only sound I hear is the pine trees swaying in the breeze. When the trees sway, the sun peaks out from behind them and feels nice and warm on me. I wish I could do this everyday. I love camping. Not camping in a campground camping, although that's fun too, but backpacking camping like we do when we go on Round-up. The kind of camping where you're the only ones at a lake and it's quiet and beautiful. Like this.

"Heidi, come help me clean the fish."

Guthrie startles me because I didn't hear him walk up. I think I would've fallen asleep if he hadn't come just now. "Ok, but I'm still really wet."

He's lucky. He wore shorts, so he got to take them off and let them dry after he put on the jeans he packed. I guess he packed a shirt too, because the one he's wearing is dry. I sit up and then stand up on the rock I've been laying on. The breeze feels colder now that I'm not laying down. It feels really cold, especially since the sun isn't beating directly down on me.

I follow Guthrie to where we left our fish strung on a line in the water, and Guthrie hands me my pocket knife. We each take a fish off the line and start to gut them. I know how to clean and gut a fish, but I'm not as good at it as my brothers are, and with a small pocket knife it's gonna be even harder.

"I wish we had a tackle box," Guthrie says while he tries to cut his fish open. I'm having a hard time with my knife. I try poking it into the fish's belly, but it's hard. We work at this for a while. Guthrie has two fish gutted before I even have my first one done. I'm getting mad and frustrated.

"I hate this stupid knife!" I try to slice through the last little bit of the belly, but I put so much force into my cut that I end up cutting the finger on my other hand that's trying to hold the fish in place. "Ow!" I drop my knife and look at the cut.

"What did you do?!" Guthrie asks.

"It's just a small cut. No big deal."

"It better not be! I didn't bring any bandaids."

"So, I don't need a bandaid for a cut." I'm used to getting cuts, scrapes and bruises when I play, and I'm tough so I wipe my finger on my sleeve and start cutting at my fish again. My finger's still bleeding so I wipe it on my shirt occasionally to get it to stop for a while.

When we're done gutting the fish and cleaning them, Guthrie asks me if I'm hungry now, or if I want to wait a while before we cook them.

"Let's wait a while," I tell him. "I'm really cold and I want to go lay out in the sun some more. I'm still soaking wet."

"Do you want me to make a fire now?"

I shrug my shoulders. "Probably not. We should wait until we want to cook the fish." Guthrie follows me to a large rock that's big enough for the both of us to lay down on in the sun. "Do you think Brian is gonna come tell us to come home?"

"Probably," Guthrie says, "but I'm not gonna go. He'll probably come when they're done fixing the pipe."

"Shouldn't they have been done by now?" I ask. "The sun is getting lower. Isn't this the time we have to go in for dinner?"

Guthrie looks up at the sky and says, "yeah. He'll probably come any minute."

"Do you think we should hide?"

"Not yet. We'll hear him coming and then we'll climb a tree."

"But he'll see all of our stuff laying around."

"We'll hide it."

"What if he doesn't come?" Guthrie doesn't answer that so I ask him again.

"He'll come," he says. "If he doesn't, it doesn't matter anyway because we're running away, remember?"

"Guthrie, I don't really know why I'm running away."

"You're running away because you thought they were gonna be mad at you for breaking the pipe."

"Oh." Now I remember. "But they're not mad at me."

"Well, I'm mad at them."

"I know." The rock we're laying on is getting in the shade now and I'm getting colder. "Guthrie I'm still cold. My jeans are still soaked."

"I wish I would've told you to bring some clothes. Go find another place to lay in the sun and I'll go make a fire."

Guthrie leaves and I look around. There is no place in the sun. The lake looks different with the sun going down. I've never really been here this late before. Guthrie and I aren't supposed to be here by ourselves either. We're supposed to come with someone older. The lake and the trees around it are all in the shadows now. It looks a little scary.

I'm gonna help Guthrie make the fire because I don't want to be by myself. It's so quiet now, too quiet. I run back to where our stuff is. I'm getting scared now. I'm cold and I'm scared. I wish I was home right now.

* * *

Guthrie has a good sized fire burning that warms me up, but not all the way. If only I could take my jeans off! That's what's keeping me cold. Guthrie leaves to go down to the water and get our fish so I'm sitting by the fire, alone. We found a small log that is perfect to sit on and we rolled it up to the fire and that's what I'm sitting on. I look around me and it's getting darker. I don't like it here now. I don't like sitting here right now without Guthrie so I get up and run down to the lake.

"Guthrie!"

"What?" He's walking back with two of our fish each speared on a stick.

"Nothing. I was just getting scared all by myself."

"Here take this one and we'll cook them." He hands one of the fish on a stick to me and I take it.

"I hope this tastes good," I tell him.

"It will. I'm starving, and when you're starving, anything tastes good."

We've watched our brothers cook fish on a stick like this before, but not many times, because usually when we go camping we bring a frying pan. We sit together on the log and hold our sticks as close to the fire as we can get them without the fire touching them.

"Guthrie, why hasn't anyone come and got us? Adam always sends someone out to find us."

"Because they don't care. _He_ doesn't care."

"I think it's strange that he hasn't come and got us. He's probably mad because we're not supposed to be here by ourselves. He's probably gonna come yell at us any minute."

"I don't care!" Guthrie says.

I don't understand why Guthrie's so mad. He usually doesn't get mad at my brothers. Usually I'm the one that's mad, not him. Usually I blow up and yell at my brothers. They say I'm like a little firecracker that goes off. I explode and say or do things without thinking. They also say my temper is just like Brian's.

So Guthrie's mad and I'm cold. I'm scared too. It's going to be dark soon and the air is getting a lot cooler. It can be really hot here in the daytime, but at night it gets cold. At least we have a fire to help keep us warm. My fish is getting brown on the side facing the fire so I turn the stick so the other side can face it, and the fish slips off the stick and falls into the fire.

"Oh no!" I poke at it with my stick to see if I can pick it up that way, but I can't. Then I try to drag it out of the fire, but there's no point in doing that because the inside of the fish is open up a little bit and the meat is getting really dirty, and burnt.

"Good thing we have more fish," Guthrie says. " I'll go get another one." He hands me his stick so I can hold his fish near the fire. As soon as he's gone I get scared and get up to follow him. He's running fast and I'm still holding the fish on a stick so I can't run. I don't want to drop his fish too.

I stop walking because I hear a noise to my left. It sounds like a tree branch snapping in half.

"Guthrie?" I know it can't be Guthrie because he's in front of me. "Brian? Brian is that you?"

"Who are you talking to," Guthrie asks me when he walks up to me with another fish on my stick.

"No one. I thought I heard a noise so I stopped to listen."

"What kind of noise?" Guthrie asks, only he doesn't give me a chance to answer, because he keeps on talking. "I bet it's Brian!" Guthrie yells, "we're not coming home with you Brian! Or Crane or whoever else is out there! We're running away and there's nothing you can do to stop us!"

We walk back over to our fire and sit back down on the log. I sit next to him and we hold our fish near the fire.

I look in the direction where I heard the noise. It has to be my brothers! It has to be! It's dark now and they know I'm afraid of the dark. "Brian!" I yell.

"Heidi don't!" Guthrie yells.

"Guthrie I'm scared!"

"I know, but there's nothing to be scared of."

"What do you mean 'there's nothing to be scared of'? There's _lots_ of things to be scared of! Coyotes, bears, wolves, ax murders..,"

"Ax murderers?! Don't say that! Stop your brain from letting your imagination run wild."

"I don't know how to do that!" I yell at him. "Things just _pop_ into my head!"

"Then try to _pop_ them right back out! Ax murderers aren't real!"

"Yes they are!" We argue back and forth about that for a while until Guthrie says very calmly, "let's change the subject so we don't have to think about scary things."

"What about Bigfoot?! What about..,"

"Think about something else."

"What if a mountain lion comes and eats us up?!"

"I _said_, 'think of something different'!" He shouts.

"I am! I stopped thinking about Bigfoot and thought about mountain lions instead."

Guthrie yells and throws his hands up in the air. "You are so frustrating! Think of something _nice_, not scary!"

I hear a noise coming from behind me that sounds like a bush shaking. Guthrie hears it too because we both turn around at the same time.

"What was that noise?" I whisper to Guthrie.

"I don't know."

We stare in the direction of the bush and hear the noise again.

"Something's there!" I whisper.

"I know. It's some type of animal."

"Is it a coyote?"

"I don't know."

I can see a coyote-sized shadow coming towards us, so I drop my stick on the ground and grab on to Guthrie. "I'm scared! Why isn't it scared of us? It's coming over here!"

Guthrie stands up and yells as loud as he can and claps his hands in the air. The shadow stops moving, but it doesn't run away.

"I'm scared Guthrie!" I start to cry and yell, "I want to go home!"

The shadow moves closer to us again and Guthrie drops his stick and runs over to our packs.

"Where are you going?!" I cry.

He runs back with our flashlights and hands mine to me. He turns his on and shines the light on the shadow. It's eyes shine red and Guthrie says, "it's a raccoon!"

I breathe a big sigh of relief. It's only a raccoon. That's nothing to be scared about. I shine my flashlight on it too and Guthrie shines his past the raccoon and onto another one.

"Look, there's another one," he says and I shine my flashlight on that one too. Guthrie says, "they probably smell the fish we're cooking."

I hear more rustling sounds from another bush and shine my flashlight on it and another raccoon comes out.

"It's probably a family of raccoons," Guthrie says.

"Guthrie, if _they_ smell our fish cooking, won't other animals too?"

He doesn't answer me. What other animals like fish besides coyotes, mountain lions..., I'm getting scared again. I hear another noise to my right and I shine my flashlight over there, but I don't see anything. "Guthrie I'm scared! I want to go home!"

"We can't!" He sounds scared too.

"Why not?! I want to go home!" I cry.

"I don't know how to go back in the dark!"

"How come we can't follow the trail?!"

"I don't think we can see it in the dark."

"Not even with our flashlights?!"

"No! Parts of the trail are deer paths and some parts of the trail are clearings with no trail to follow. I won't be able to pick up the trail on the other side of the clearings with just a flashlight."

"You're scared too, aren't you?" When he doesn't answer I say, "I can hear it in your voice!" I shine my flashlight all around us and yell at the raccoons. "Guthrie, why aren't the raccoons scared of us?! What other animals are gonna come?!"

"I don't know Heidi! Just be quiet and let me think!"

"Can you get our BB guns?" I ask him.

There's more noises coming from the bushes to our right so I shine my flashlight in that direction, but I don't see anything. "I want to go home!"

"I know! Me too!"

We hug each other. I'm more scared now that I know Guthrie's scared. "Do you think there's a bear over there?!" I ask him.

"I don't know. If it is we need to make lots of noise and jump up and make ourselves look really tall."

Now I see a shadow by the bush that's been making more noise. It's big! It's the size of a big bear standing on all four legs. "Guthrie, is that a bear?!"

He jumps up and yells and the shadow runs away.

"It was a bear, wasn't it?! The raccoons aren't afraid of us, but that shadow is, so it can't be a raccoon!"

"I don't know Heidi!"

The raccoons walk around our camp. They chatter at us and I don't like it. The noise in the bushes is back so I look back over there and the bear shadow is back! Guthrie shines his light on it and it is a bear so I scream and Guthrie yells! Only this time it doesn't run away!

"Why isn't it running away?!" I cry while the bear paces a few steps to the right and then a few steps to the left.

"It looks like it's trying to decide if it should come closer," Guthrie whispers.

"Why are you whispering?! Yell!" I scream at the bear and clap my hands, and the bear turns around, but then it turns back. "Guthrie! What do we do?!" I cry.

"I don't know! Maybe we should throw it one of our fish!"

Guthrie picks up one of our fish on a stick and throws it towards the bear. The bear backs up a little and then comes back closer and smells the fish. Now we hear more rustling sounds coming from the bushes on our other side.

"There's another bear!" I cry. The first bear is making noises while it picks up the fish in his mouth. Guthrie throws our other fish on a stick towards the bush where the other noise is coming from only he doesn't throw it very well and it lands on the other side of our fire, but only a few feet away. The first bear drops his fish and starts walking towards the other fish and Guthrie yells, "**run**!"


	18. Chapter 18

Guthrie and I run away from our campfire as fast as we can. I trip on something and fall, but I pick myself up fast and run to catch up with Guthrie. I can hear a lot of yelling behind us, but we're not stopping! I've never run so fast in my life! Guthrie turns and looks behind me so I yell, "is the bear following us?!"

Guthrie stops running and I run right into him and we both fall to the ground.

"Listen," Guthrie says.

Someone's calling our names! It sounds like Crane!

"Crane!" I yell. "Crane! We're over here!" I see a flashlight pointed in our direction, and both Guthrie and I get up and run to it. "Crane!" I yell as I rush to him and hug him. He hugs me back and Guthrie too. "I was so scared!" I tell him.

"Did you see the bear?!" Guthrie asks.

"Yes."

"Was there two?" Guthrie asks.

"No, the other one you thought was a bear was us."

"_Us_? Who's _us_?"

"Adam, Brian and myself."

"Why'd you scare us like that!" Guthrie yells and he sounds really mad.

"We didn't mean to. Come back to the fire and let's talk," Crane says. I take his hand and Guthrie runs ahead of us.

"Why'd you scare us like that?!" He yells at Adam and Brian. Crane starts walking faster so we can catch up with him. "That wasn't very nice!" Guthrie yells. "We were scared!" It looks like Adam and Brian are trying to say something, but Guthrie won't let them because he keeps on yelling. "You pretended to be a bear?! Why would you do that?! Why..,"

"Guthrie, sit down!" Brian yells.

"No!"

By this time me and Crane are at the campfire and Crane whispers for me to sit down on the log by the fire. Everyone's staring at Guthrie. I can't believe he said no to Brian. I don't think anyone else can believe it either. That's something I would do, not Guthrie.

Brian tries talking to Guthrie again in a calmer, quieter, voice. "Sit down Guthrie."

I stare at Guthrie and hope he sits down, because I don't know what will happen if he doesn't. Guthrie eventually sits down and I must've been holding my breath because when he sits down next to me, I let it out.

Crane and Adam move a second log over to our fire so they can sit down too. They put it next to ours so both logs make an L shape near the campfire. When they sit down, Adam talks first.

"We weren't trying to scare you," he says. "We didn't know you'd be scared of us. I thought you'd shine your flashlight on us and see us. As soon as you ran, we called your names, but you didn't hear us."

Brian says, "we scared the bear away."

"Where'd it go?" I ask. I'm still scared so I look around in the dark for it, but I can't see anything.

"Far away," Crane says.

"Where's that?" I ask.

Brian says, "that way!" He points behind him.

"How do you know he's _far_ away?" I ask because I don't believe him.

"I just know!"

"So you just sat around and let the bear come near us?!" Guthrie yells.

"No!" Adam yells. "We weren't watching you then. We were down by the lake talking about..,"

"That bear could've hurt us!" Guthrie yells.

"Look, Adam saw you cooking your fish on a stick and he came back to talk to us," Brian says. "When we heard you guys yelling we ran back as fast as we could."

"How far away were you?!"

"Pretty far," Crane says. "We didn't want you to see us, or hear us."

"How long have you been here?!" Guthrie yells. When no one answers him, he asks again. "How long?!"

"Pretty much all day," Crane says.

"What?!" Guthrie yells. I look at Crane. I can't believe it! They've been here _all day_?!

"Here's some dry clothes for you Heidi," Crane says as he hands me a pair of jeans, underwear, and a shirt. I walk over to him and take it. "Go change," he says.

I look at him like he's crazy. "Where?!"

"Just go behind that tree over there," Brian says as he points to a tree behind me.

"By myself?! In the dark?!"

He sighs and stands up. "I'll go with you. Get your flashlight."

I look around for my flashlight and pick it up. Brian and I walk over to the tree and when he stops in front of it I look up at him.

When I don't move he looks down at me. "What?"

"I'm scared to go back there by myself."

"I'm right here." I don't move, I just keep staring up at him so he says, "just change right here. I won't look, and nobody else is gonna look either."

"Promise?"

"Yes."

"Ok, hold my flashlight and shine it right here." I shine my flashlight where I want him to shine it and he takes it from me and shines it on me and my clothes. I keep looking up at him.

"Now what?" He asks.

"You have to turn around."

"What?! Why? I'm not gonna watch!"

I keep on staring at him until he turns around.

"How am I supposed to know where to shine the flashlight?" He asks.

"Put it behind your back and I'll tell you where to shine it."

I can hear him say something under his breath, but I don't know what he said. Adam says sometimes I annoy Brian and get under his skin. I don't understand what that means, but Brian says things under his breath when I do it, so I must be under his skin right now.

"Shine it higher," I tell him as he moves the flashlight around. "Higher..., too high! Perfect! Ok, now close your eyes."

"What?!" He turns around and yells, "just change your dang clothes NOW!"

I giggle and wait for him to turn back around and then I say, "are your eyes closed?"

He sighs and says, "no, and I'm not gonna close them kid, so if you want to be warm I suggest you start changing."

I start to take my wet jeans off, but then I realize I have to take my shoes off first. I kick them off and pull my socks off. The ground is cold and the pine needles poke my feet. I take my jeans off and then look at Brian to make sure he's not looking before I take my underwear off. I try to put my dry underwear and jeans on as fast as I can.

"Brian, were you here all day watching us?"

"No. We sorta took turns."

"How?"

"After you walked off the road to the path, I followed you."

"The whole way here?"

"Yes. I waited until I saw you guys put bait on your fishing poles and then I went home. Crane came and checked on you later in the day and when he came home he said you were swimming."

"How'd you know I would need dry clothes?"

"We knew you were swimming in your jeans. Heidi, we've been swimming in jeans a lot and we know how cold it can get in wet clothes when the sun goes down."

"Boys are lucky! You can take your shirts off so they don't get wet when you swim. Did Crane watch us swim the whole day?"

"No. He left after you had been in the water for a while. When he came home he said you were gonna be one wet, cold, kid."

"He was right," I tell Brian. "I'm still cold."

"Crane got some clothes for you to change into and after a quick dinner, the three of us came back here. Adam went ahead to check on you while Crane and I waited in the clearing where the trail opens up to the lake. Heidi, are you dressed yet? You're taking a long time."

"Almost." I take my shirt off and put the dry one on. "Done."

Brian turns around and hands me my jacket and I put it on, and then I sit down to put on my socks and shoes.

"How come you let the bear get us?" I ask him.

"We didn't," he says as we walk back to the fire. "Like I said, we weren't near you, and when we heard you screaming we ran as fast as we could to see what was wrong."

"How come all you guys were watching us?"

"Sit," he says because we're at the fire now, and I sit down next to Guthrie while Brian sits on the other log with Adam and Crane.

Adam says, "that's what I was just explaining to Guthrie. We were watching you because you're not supposed to be here by yourself, and we were worried about you."

"But we ran away. There aren't any rules when you run away," I tell him.

Guthrie whispers, "Heidi, be quiet."

I decide to change the subject. "Did you guys bring any dinner with you?" I ask.

"_No_, we didn't bring any dinner with us," Adam says kind of angrily.

I sigh and pick up a stick because now Adam's talking to Guthrie again. He's telling him Hannah talked to him about Guthrie being mad last night. I stop listening and start paying attention to my stick. It's very long so I hold just the tip of it in the fire to burn it.

I wonder why they didn't bring anything to eat with them. How come Guthrie and I didn't see any of them either? I stand up to stab my stick at a log in the fire to break it up into pieces. It's red hot and ready to fall apart. Guthrie says, "why do I always get stuck with Heidi?!"

"What'd you say about me?" I ask.

"Nothing!" Guthrie yells.

"Guthrie don't yell at your sister," Adam says.

"You did too say something about me because I heard you say my name!"

"Heidi, would you be quiet and let us talk to Guthrie?" Adam asks, but it's one of those questions I don't think I'm supposed to answer.

I whisper, "he said my name, and I don't know why you guys didn't bring something to eat because I'm starving."

"Did _you_ bring something to eat?" Adam asks.

He surprises me because I didn't know he could hear me. "Yes."

"Why don't you eat that."

I sigh and throw my stick in the fire. I walk to my backpack and take out a can of beef stew. I look at it and wonder how I'm supposed to open it. I wonder if Guthrie brought a can opener. I'll have to look in his pack. His pack has way more stuff in it than mine so I dump everything out. It makes a lot of noise so I look over at my brothers.

"What are you doing?!" Guthrie yells.

I stare at him. "Nothing." He stares at me until I start to put everything back, and then he starts yelling at my brothers. Guthrie's in a bad mood. Hannah says sometimes people get crabby when they're hungry. I think Guthrie must be starving.

I didn't find a can opener and then I remember Guthrie has one of those fancy new pocket knives that probably has a can opener on it. I want to use that so I stand up and start to walk over to him but they're _all_ yelling at each other now. I sigh and go get my pocketknife. I'm just gonna have to stab my knife at the top of the can. I take my knife, and the can of stew, and go sit on the ground cross-legged across from my brothers, on the other side of the fire.

They're all yelling pretty loudly now. I'm not really listening while I poke at the can with my knife, but I think they're all yelling at each other instead of Guthrie. I hear bits and pieces about what they're yelling about, but nothing makes sense to me. I keep trying to open the can. This is frustrating! This knife isn't gonna cut through anything if I don't poke it harder. I wrap my hand around the handle so my hand is in a fist and tap the top of the can where I want to stab it. Then I lift my hand way up high in the air and get ready to bring it down hard on the can, but someone yells stop and grabs my wrist. I look up at Brian.

"What the heck are you doing?!" He yells.

I stare up at him and I'm not really sure what to say. "Trying to open the can?" I ask and I raise my eyebrows up at him.

"And what's gonna happen when you hit the can with that knife?"

"It'll cut a hole in it?" I hope that's the right answer, but I don't think it is because Brian doesn't look happy. I look over at Adam and he doesn't look happy either. I'm not sure what's wrong.

"I'll show you what's gonna happen!" Brian says. He squeezes my hand so I drop my knife and he picks it up. "If you stab the can like _this_," he brings the knife down slowly so the tip touches the lid and then the knife starts to bend closed. "It's gonna jackknife and cut your hand!"

I glare up at him. "_Every_ single time?" Yikes! I shouldn't of said that because Brian looks really mad.

Adam yells, "throw me her knife!" Brian throws the knife over to Adam and Adam holds it up and yells at me. "Where'd you get this?!"

I point to my pack. "Over there."

I scoot on my bottom away from Brian because he looks like he could kill me. "I really did," I tell him.

Guthrie says, "I took it from your dresser and packed it in her pack."

"Why?!" Adam yells. "You know I don't want her to have this!"

"But why can't I have it?!" I yell.

"Because you do stupid things with it!" Adam, Brian and Crane all yell at the same time. "Dangerous things!" Adam yells.

I put my head down and fold my arms across my chest. Brian asks Guthrie if he brought a can opener and I hear Guthrie throw his pocketknife to Brian. I wish I had a fancy pocketknife like Guthrie does. Brian opens the can of stew and says, "here."

I look up at him and ask, "now what do I do with it?"

"I don't know. What were you gonna do with it if we weren't here?"

I look at Guthrie. He thinks about that and then shrugs his shoulders.

"Guess you'll have to eat it like this," Brian says while holding it out to me.

"Cold?"

"It's up to you. Eat it, or don't eat it, I don't care," he says.

I take the can from him and get up to get my spoon. They're all talking to Guthrie again when I come back and sit down on the log next to him. I wonder why he's crying. At least they're talking to him now, and not yelling. Something Guthrie says catches my attention.

"How come she always has to talk about having a Mom or a Dad?!"

Is he talking about me? Maybe I should listen.

"She's trying to figure things out," Crane says. "Like you had to."

Is Guthrie mad at me? Is that why he didn't want to talk to me earlier today about Hannah and Adam being our Mom and Dad? Why are Mom's and Dad's so hard to talk about? Why did ours have to die? How come some kids only have one parent that dies, but we had two that died? Without thinking I say, "why do people have to die?"

"What?" Adam asks.

"What?" I ask.

"What did you just say?" He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. "Nothing."

That seems to be a good enough answer for him because he goes back to talking to Guthrie. I take a spoonful of beef stew out of the can and put it in my mouth. I immediately spit it out. It does _not_ taste good cold! I look at my brothers and they're talking and talking and talking! I don't think we're ever gonna go home!

I find a stick and sit down on the ground as close as I can get to the fire without it being too hot, and I push the can of beef stew into the fire. Then I poke my stick around in the fire while I wait for the stew to warm up. The wrapper on the outside of the can burns up and the can turns black. Hmm, I didn't think that would happen. I wonder what else would burn in the fire.

I throw an oak leaf and a pine needle in. I already know those things will burn though. I wonder if I can find an acorn. I heard they're supposed to pop when you throw them in the fire. I crawl around on the ground looking for stuff to burn when I find a horseshoe nail. "Look!" I yell. "It's a prairie diamond!" I hold it up, but my brothers aren't paying attention to me. Guthrie's crying again.

I look at the nail and wonder if I can bend it into a ring by getting it hot in the fire. That's how cowboys bent them into rings for the girls they wanted to marry. Cowboys didn't have a store to go to buy rings at I guess. Hey, maybe I can bend it into a ring for Hannah! Adam didn't give her a ring yet. I throw the nail into the fire and watch it. Nothing happens to it so I wait. I look over at my can of stew and use a stick to drag it out very carefully so it doesn't spill.

The can is all black and burnt. I put my spoon inside, scoop some out, and take a bite. I spit it out because it's hot! Burning hot! I kick the can and yell, "when are we going home?! I'm hungry and bored and I've been quiet and haven't bugged you for a long, long, time!"

Everyone's staring at me now and I cry.

"Do you 'want' to go home?" Adam asks.

Huh? What kind of question is that? "Yes I wanna go home! Why wouldn't I wanna go home?!"

"Because you're running away," Adam says.

Oh, right. Darn! Adam is still talking but I can't hear what he's saying because I'm thinking. Is he gonna make us stay out here all night? Are we gonna have to sleep out here? Are they gonna leave us alone?

"Heidi!"

"What?"

"Why don't you ever listen to me when I'm talking to you?" Adam yells. "I want..,"

I'm trying to listen but right now I'm so hungry! My stomach keeps growling and..

"Heidi!"

I look at Adam and he's yelling at me again. He looks kind of mad. I look at Brian and Crane and they look mad too. I look back at Adam and I can tell he's yelling at me again. _Now_ what's he saying?!

"Are you listening to me?!"

"No!" I cry. "I just wanna go home! I'm done being here! Please can we just go home? Please?" I ask Adam while I sit and cry.

He holds his arms out to me so I get up and walk over to where he's sitting and he hugs me while I cry into his chest. I hear him tell my brothers, "let's put the fire out, pack up and go home so these two can eat. This one's had it." He kisses the top of my head when he says that. "We can finish talking to Guthrie when we get home."

I lean against Adam and dry my cheeks with my shirt. "Will you carry me home?" I ask him.

He takes hold of the sides of my arms and moves me so he's holding me out in front of him. I have to look in his eyes this way. "You walked here on your own and, you're going to walk back on your own." He's talking in his serious voice and his eyes look serious too. "I'm disappointed you ran away. You skipped school, and..,"

"Brian said I didn't have to go."

"Why?"

"Because of my face and because I knew everybody was gonna make fun of me."

"Well, you're going to school tomorrow."

"But people are gonna say I got beat up by Gary's Dad!"

"You have to go back sometime."

I groan. "Do I have to go back tomorrow? I'm gonna be so tired! We're not gonna get home until the morning."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's gonna take us _hours_ to get home!"

"It's about an hour walking out to the road and the jeep is parked on the side of the road at the trailhead."

"You guys walked all that way today? Why?"

"To make sure you were safe."

"Oh."

"You know, we all love you very much and when you run away from us like this, it hurts us. We worry about you being out here all alone by yourselves."

"Sorry. Thanks for making sure we're safe." I kiss him on his cheek and hug him while he hugs me back.

"Ok," he says as he pats my back, "go pack your stuff up and I'll help Brian put the fire out."

"Wait! My prairie diamond is in there!" I yell, and I run over to Brian.

"Why's it in the fire?" Brian asks.

"Because I'm gonna bend it into a ring! For Hannah!" I smile up at Adam.

Guthrie laughs and says, "you think Hannah's gonna wear a big old clunky 'prairie diamond' on her finger?!"

"Yes."

"Sorry Heidi, but you need a blacksmith for that," Brian says. I wonder why you need a blacksmith. Why can't I just bend it myself? I guess I'll have to ask later.

Crane comes back from the lake. "I've got the fishing poles," he says and he hands Brian my canteen. Brian pours the water on the fire and then he and Adam kick dirt on the fire for a while until it's all out. Guthrie pours water from his canteen on and they kick the dirt around some more.

"It's dark!" I yell.

"Relax," Crane says, "I've got a flashlight on."

"But it's still too dark!"

Crane shines his light on my pack. "Get your flashlight."

I go get my flashlight and turn it on and pack up my backpack. "Do I have to carry my pack?"

"You carried it in, you can carry it out," Brian says.

"But it's heavy! Guthrie put lots of cans in it! I didn't even pack it, and it also has wet clothes stuffed inside it now!" I complain, but they all ignore me. I groan and put it on my back and look down at my fishing pole and BB gun lying on the ground and then at my flashlight in my hand. "How am I supposed to carry all this stuff _and_ my flashlight?" They're still ignoring me while they finish putting the fire out. "How much water are you gonna pour on that? The fire's out. It's just a big muddy mess." I shine my flashlight in Brian's eyes, Crane's eyes and then Adam's.

"Shine that thing in my eyes again and I'm taking it away!" Brian yells.

"Then I won't be able to see in the dark." I shine it back in his eyes and say, "you can't take it away, I'll be too scared."

When he grabs it out of my hand I scream and Adam yells, "knock it off! Brian, give it back to her! Your acting like a five-year old!" I start to laugh and Adam yells at me, "you too! Stop shining that in everybody's eyes on purpose or _I'll_ take it away! Understand?"

Brian gives it back and I tell Adam I understand. "How am I supposed to carry all this?" I ask. Crane takes my fishing pole so I pick up my gun. "Ready," I tell them.

"Guthrie, do you have everything?" Crane asks.

"Yeah."

"Let's go then."

"I don't want to be the last one," I tell everyone. "Or the first one. How long is it gonna take us to get to the jeep?" No one answers me so I follow Crane. "How do you guys know where the trail is in the dark?"

"We've been here lots of times in the dark," Crane says and Brian laughs.

"How come? And what's so funny?"

"Remember the rope swing the Johnson's used to have here, Adam?" Brian asks.

"Yeah. I wonder what happened to it."

"Remember when Jimmy Johnson had that one party where Tom fell off the rope swing and landed on the ground instead of the water?"

"Oh yeah! He broke his leg, so the Johnsons made Jimmy cut the rope off."

"We were so drunk that night!"

"Why'd they make Jimmy cut the rope off?" Crane asks.

"Because Tom was the fifth person to break a bone on that rope swing," Adam says.

"Can we have a rope swing?" I ask.

"Yeah, can we?!" Guthrie asks.

"I don't know," Adam says. "We'd have to think of a good place to hang it."

"Never mind!" I yell. "I don't want a rope swing!"

"What's wrong? You sound scared," Crane asks.

"_Rope swing_? _Hang_? Get it?" I ask.

"No." None of them understand.

"I don't want one because when I look at it I'll see a dead person hanging from it!"

"Why would you think that?"

"I don't know! I'm starting to get scared. It's really dark out here. Are we almost to the jeep?"

"We've only been walking for five minutes," Crane says. "It's going to take us an hour to get to the jeep."

"So are we almost there?"

Guthrie laughs and Adam says, "no. Didn't you listen to what Crane just said?" He asks me.

"Yes."

"If it takes an hour and we've only walked for five minutes, how much longer do we have to walk until we make it to the jeep?" Adam asks me.

I groan and say, "two hours?"

Guthrie laughs.

"Don't laugh at her," Adam says. "Heidi, how can it take two hours if it only takes an hour to get there?"

"Three hours?"

"You're not even listening, are you?" He asks.

We've come to the beginning of the trail that goes back to the road and my brothers stop to pick up some camping gear and a shotgun. There's a backpack and a sleeping bag. "What's all that for?" I ask.

"Well, we didn't know when you guys were going to be ready to come home, so one of us was going to spend the night with you," Crane tells us.

"With us? Or _near_ us?" I ask.

"Near," Adam says. "We wanted you to _want_ to come home."

I don't understand what that means so I think about it for a while. When I can't figure it out I say, "I want to hear more about the parties you had at the lake."

"Me too!" Guthrie says.

Brian starts telling us stories about parties Adam and Brian went to when they were in high school. Parties they had at nighttime so they know the trail well. The stories take my mind off the scary things I was thinking about and how dark it is outside.

* * *

When the jeep pulls up to the house and Crane parks we all pile out and I grab my pack and BB gun and run to the house. I have to go to the bathroom so bad! When I fling the front door open I throw my stuff on the floor and race up the stairs. I don't stop to talk to Hannah or anyone else in the living room. When I slam the bathroom door shut I hear them laugh, but I don't care. I've got to go!

After I wash my hands and open the door, Guthrie is there waiting to go in. Everyone else is inside now and Hannah calls me downstairs. "Come eat some dinner."

I run downstairs and follow her into the kitchen. I wonder what she made. When I sit at the table I watch her take a can of beef stew out and open it. What?!

"Hannah?" I ask quietly.

"Yes?"

"Why are you making that? What did _you_ guys have for dinner?"

"This. The guys wanted something quick to eat so they could get back out to you, and I worked all day. They were worried about you."

"Were they mad at us?"

She doesn't answer, so I watch her stir the pot of stew. I guess that means they were mad. Guthrie comes in and sits next to me and he's surprised to see the can of beef stew sitting on the counter too.

"Why are we having that?" He whispers.

"That's what _they_ had," I whisper back.

"They must've been mad about that," he whispers back.

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know and I don't care. I'm so hungry I could eat a cow!" I know people usually say they could eat a horse, but I _never_ say that. It makes me too sad to think about somebody eating Lucy.

"I'm starving too," Guthrie says.

Hannah brings us each a bowl of stew and then she sits down at the table with us. "So, tell me about your day," she says.

"It was so much fun!" I tell her. Guthrie kicks me under the table so I glare at him. "Ow! What was that for?!"

"Never mind," he says and he stares down at his bowl of stew.

I tell Hannah about everything we did and when I get to the bear part she says, "a bear?! That must've been scary!"

"No, we weren't scared. We..,"

"What?! We were too scared!" Guthrie yells.

"I wasn't."

"Yes you were!" He yells.

Hannah says, "Guthrie why are you so mad right now."

Guthrie glares at me and says, "because I'm the one that's gonna get in trouble for running away, and this is all her fault!" He starts to cry and then he gets up fast knocking his chair over as he runs out the back door.

"Guthrie!" Hannah calls out to him. When he doesn't come back she gets up and goes into the living room to tell Adam.

"He's probably sitting on the porch. I'll go talk to him." Adam walks through the kitchen and out the back door after Guthrie. Hannah sits back down next to me.

"Why is Guthrie mad at me?" I ask her.

"He's going through a little bit of a hard time right now," she says. "He's not really mad at you, he's trying to make sense of something that doesn't make a whole lot of sense to him."

"Is it our parents dying?" I ask.

She looks at me and she looks shocked.

"What?" I ask her. "Is that what he's upset about? That some kids have a mom that dies, or a dad that dies, but not both that die at the same time like ours? Is he trying to understand if you're our Mom? Is he mad because I keep talking about Moms and Dads?" Hannah's mouth is open while she's listening to me. "Is he mad because he doesn't think it's fair _both_ our parents died instead of just one of them?"

"How long have you been thinking about all that?" She asks.

"What?"

"All the stuff you just said."

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't think about it. I'm just wondering if that's what he's thinking about." Hannah has tears in her eyes. "Why are you crying?" I ask her.

"I feel sad."

"Why? Do you know someone who has a Mom and Dad that died? Are you thinking about them? Did their Mom and Dad die at the same time so they left their kids alone? So the oldest kid has to take care of all the younger kids and be the Dad even though he's not supposed to be the Dad? You know someone that has a family like that?"

"No," she says quietly.

"Then why are you sad? That's a good thing that you don't know anybody that had a Mom and Dad that died. It's good that the big brother didn't have to drop out of college and be a Dad to a whole bunch of kids." I put my arms up and around in a circle when I say 'a whole bunch'. Hannah's tears are running down her cheeks now so I reach up and wipe them, but her tears keep falling. "Are those happy tears?" I ask her.

"No," she says quietly.

"It's ok Hannah. Moms and Dads die all the time. They leave their older kids in charge to take care of the younger ones, even if the older kids didn't plan on doing it. Sometimes the Mom and Dad die when the kids are teenagers, or just turned eighteen, and sometimes they die when the kid is just a little bitty baby. They die so the baby never remembers what they look like or who they were." I wipe her cheeks again, but her tears don't stop.

"Heidi," she says quietly, but that's all she says.

"Are you still sad?" I ask her. When she nods her head I ask, "are you sad about the kids?" She nods her head and I shrug my shoulders. "The kids only cry for a little bit after the Mom and Dad die. Then they forget about them. The baby cries and cries and cries at first because she wants her Mom, but when the mommy doesn't come for a long, long time, the baby stops crying for her. Then the baby cries for her brother and she forgets all about the Mom and the Dad because the brother comes when she cries. The brother tells the baby he'll be her new Dad. He's sad though because the baby will only have a Dad, but he tells the baby he'll find her a Mom and then he does. See, that's not sad, Hannah."

Hannah hugs me and she cries. She hugs me tightly. It's so tight it starts to hurt me. My brothers are standing in the entrance to the kitchen and Crane asks, "what's wrong?"

I wonder how long they've been standing there listening. I'm not sure if Crane's asking me what's wrong or Hannah, so when she doesn't answer I tell Crane she's sad. "She's sad because I told her a story about a family where the Mom and Dad both died at the same time and left the kids to be the Dad. It was a happy story, so I don't know why she's sad."

All my brothers eyes look sad. Hannah stops hugging me and wipes her eyes. She looks at my empty bowl of stew and says, "go take your bath now."

I stand up. "Ok. Are you happy now?"

She smiles and nods her head, but her eyes are still sad. I don't know what made her so sad and I don't know why my brothers look sad. It was a happy story. When I try to get out of the kitchen and past my brothers, they hug me or pat my head. Why is everyone acting so weird? I think I'll walk to the stairs slowly. Maybe I can hear them talk about why they're so sad.

"Are you ok Hannah," Brian asks.

"No. It's like she didn't even realize she was talking about her own family."

I wonder what she means by that.

"You should have heard her..,"

"We did," Crane says. "Where did all that come from?"

"I have no idea," Hannah says.

"That sounded so sad," Ford says.

"She didn't think so," Hannah says. "It's like she was a little kid saying all that stuff to another little kid. She..,"

Crane interrupts her and says, "wait a sec' Hannah. Heidi?" He calls out to me.

"What?"

"You need to take a bath." He walks towards me and says, "I'll come up with you."

"But then I can't hear what you guys are saying."

"I know," he says.

I shrug my shoulders and he walks upstairs with me.

When he walks into the bathroom and turns the tub faucet on I wait for him to leave and close the door. When he doesn't I look up at him. "What are you doing?" I ask. It looks like he's thinking hard about something and whatever it is, it's sad. I don't think he even hears me so I ask him again. "Crane? Why aren't you leaving?"

He looks down at me. "Oh, sorry. Heidi, I think I'm gonna wash your hair tonight."

"Why?!" I wonder why he wants to do that? No one's washed my hair since I was really little. Crane looks sad so I think for a minute before I say, "ok. Just make sure you fill the bathtub all the way to the top so you can only see my head and neck, and put in _lots_ of bubbles."

He nods his head, but I'm not sure he heard me so I pour in half the bottle of bubble bath and watch while the whole tub fills up with bubbles. When they reach the top I turn the water off and look at Crane. He's not paying attention to me so I clear my throat. "Um, Crane?"

"What?"

"Could you turn around?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

He turns around and I quickly take my clothes off and get in the tub. I make sure the bubbles come all the way up to my neck. "I'm in."

He turns around and sits on the floor next to the tub. I squeeze my eyes shut and hold my breath and put my head under the water to get my hair all wet. I pop back out and open my eyes and Crane smiles at me.

"It's been a long time since I've helped you with a bath," he says.

"I know. Don't you think it's kind of awkward now?"

"Not tonight." He looks sad when he says that and then it looks like he's snapped out of some kind of trance and says, "oh I'm sorry Heidi. Is it awkward for you? I didn't even think about you, I'm just thinking about myself."

"What about?"

"Sometimes I miss you being little."

"Oh."

"Do you want me to go?" He asks.

"No, you can stay. You seem sad and it's not like you can see anything under all these bubbles."

"Are you sure? I'll go if you want, but I'd really like to talk to you while I wash your hair."

"It's ok Crane. You can stay." I turn around so my back is facing him so it's easier for him to wash my hair. He takes the shampoo bottle and squeezes some out on to his hand. When he starts massaging it in my hair it feels relaxing. I forgot what it was like to have someone wash my hair. When he doesn't talk, I decide I'll start talking first. "Why are you sad Crane?"

"Heidi, were you thinking about Mom and Dad tonight?"

"No. I don't think so. Why?"

He massages my hair some more before he says, "what was so happy about the story you were telling Hannah?"

"Um, I just told her it was ok that Moms and Dads die."

"How is that ok?"

"Because then the brother is the Dad."

"Oh."

"Crane, Moms and Dads die all the time. Did you hear what I told Hannah?"

"I heard most of it."

"Then you know it's ok."

Crane sighs and says, "Heidi don't you think it's sad that the Mom and Dad died?"

"Nope."

He starts rinsing my hair and says, "I do."

"Why?"

"It's sad when people die. It's sad when moms and dads die. It's sad when grandparents die, or aunts and uncles, or when kids die. Don't you think so?"

"I guess."

"Are you sad our Mom and Dad died Heidi?"

"No." I don't want to talk about this anymore so I decide to talk about something else instead. "Crane, did you see how big that bear was?! I bet it was taller than you!"

"Heidi, why aren't you sad about Mom and Dad dying?"

"Don't you think the bear was big?"

Crane takes my shoulders and gently turns me around so I'm facing him. "Why aren't you sad Mom and Dad died?"

"Because then you guys wouldn't live here with me. You'd all go off to college and get married and live in your own houses. _That_ would make me sad."

Crane stares at me with his sad eyes and then he picks up a washcloth and rubs some soap on it.

"You are _not_ going to wash me!"

He smiles and says, "I know, I just want to wash your face. It's pretty dirty."

"Ok, but just my face."

He washes my face very gently especially on the cheek with the bruise. "Does it still hurt?" He asks.

"Yes."

Hannah's in the doorway now and she says, "Adam and Guthrie are inside and ready to talk."

Crane hands me the washcloth and says, "thanks for letting me wash your hair." Then he gets up and shuts the door on his way out. I wish I knew what they were talking to Guthrie about. I'll just have to ask him in the morning on our way to the bus stop. _If_ he'll talk to me. I wash my body and then lay back in the warm water to soak.

* * *

After my teeth are brushed and I'm in my pajamas, I sit on my bed to comb my hair. There's a knot in the back that I'm having a hard time getting out. Hannah walks in and sits next to me on my bed and takes the comb out of my hand. She works on my knot and says, "Denise called."

"When?"

"Earlier tonight when we were done with dinner. I talked to her for a little bit and she wanted me to tell you she hopes you're ok."

"Did she know about Gary's Dad?" I ask.

"Yes."

"That means the whole school knows! I don't want to go to school tomorrow!"

"You'll be fine."

"No I won't! Everyone's gonna make fun of me!"

"Denise won't. She's your best friend."

I start to cry and say, "no she's not! I told her we weren't friends anymore! I ruined our friendship!"

Hannah puts the comb down and hugs me. "No you didn't. She's still your best friend. She'll forgive you. I know she will."

I look up at Hannah and she wipes the tears on my cheeks. "Do you really think she'll still be my friend?"

"Yes. She called to find out if you were ok. She's worried about you."

"So you think she'll still be my friend?"

"Yes."

"Even though I yelled at her?"

"Yes."

"And I told her we weren't best friends anymore?"

Hannah laughs and lifts my chin up. "Yes Heidi. Don't worry. I promise, you and Denise will still be friends. Best friends."

"You promise?" I ask her.

"Yes! Now get under the covers and I'll read you a story."

"Do I have to go to bed now? My hair's still wet."

"Yes, it's way past your bedtime."

I get under the covers and scoot all the way over so Hannah can sit next to me. She opens up my favorite book about a horse and I listen to her read the first page and that's all I hear because I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

I'm tired in the morning. And grumpy, and scared to go to school, and nervous to see Denise. Everyone's bugging me and telling me to hurry up and get ready and I yell and cry and get on their nerves. Guthrie does too because he's just as grumpy as I am. It's a very bad morning and it got worse because we missed the bus.

Guthrie blames missing the bus on me and I blame it on him, and we fight about it until Adam yells at us to shut up and when I remind him he's not supposed to say shut up he gives me a swat. So now I'm glaring at the road with my arms folded across my chest in the back of the jeep. I'm sitting next to Crane because he's in the middle to separate me from Guthrie.

Adam and Crane are taking Hannah to work after they drop us off at school, and then they're getting more pipes. I guess they decided to replace more pipes than the one I broke because all the pipes are old and will probably break soon. Hannah is working at Marie's to help pay for the pipes.

When Adam pulls into the school parking lot the morning bell hasn't rang yet. We're not late. He drives up to the drop off curb and Guthrie jumps out and runs to the playground. He doesn't even say goodbye to anyone.

"I know two kids who are taking a nap when they get home _and_ going to bed early tonight," Adam says.

"Not me," I tell him.

"Get out of the jeep Heidi," he says.

I stand up, but I don't want to get out. I don't feel mad anymore I feel scared. "Please don't make me go to school today!" I start crying and Crane hugs me. "The kids are gonna make fun of me. _Gary's_ gonna make fun of me!"

"Heidi, you _have_ to go and you have to get out of the jeep _now_," Adam says. "We need to drop Hannah off at Marie's."

I don't let go of Crane so he says, "let go Heidi. It's going to be ok."

Adam says, "Heidi, I'm calling Mr. Brick later today and telling him what Gary did to your flowerpot. I'll also tell him that you're nervous about kids, mostly Gary, making fun of you. Ok?" I look at Adam and let go of Crane. "Ok?" Adam asks again.

"Ok, but Mr. Brick isn't gonna care." Then I look at Hannah. "I'm nervous Denise is gonna hate me and not talk to me. I'm gonna apologize to her, but she's still gonna hate me."

Hannah smiles and says, "she's your friend. She'll be so happy to see you, she'll forget everything you said about not being her friend anymore."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

I look at all three of them and then I climb out of the jeep as slow as I can wishing I could climb back in and go home with them.

They all say goodbye to me and I wave back while I stand on the curb and watch them drive away. I hope they're right about everything being ok, because my stomach is killing me right now. I feel scared and nervous and I don't want to be here. I feel like crying, but that'll just make it worse, because then kids will either ask me why I'm crying, or they'll make fun of me _for_ crying. Maybe I can go hide out in the bathroom and wait for the bell to ring.

I walk to my classroom and try to open the door, but it's locked. I hope we're not having a sub today! I set my lunch down on the ground outside our classroom with everybody else's lunches. I look for Denise's lunch box and see it so I know she's here. I guess I could go find her now and apologize. I sigh and walk towards the playground.

A little first grader walking by me says, "what happened to your face?"

I put my hand up to my cheek to cover it and say, "nothing." Usually I don't care if I have a black eye or a bruise, but today I care. I care a lot. I don't want to talk about it to anyone. Ignoring a first grader is easy, but ignoring the kids in my class is going to be impossible!

I'm still holding my hand over my cheek when I walk out onto the playground. I look around for Denise. I find her talking to someone. Her back is facing me so she can't see me and I start to run towards her, but then I see who she's talking to and I stop. It's Kelly! It's Kelly and Kelly's laughing! She's laughing with Denise! I can't believe it! Denise is being friends with Kelly? Hannah was wrong! She promised Denise would still be my friend and she was wrong! Denise won't be my friend if she's friends with Kelly!

My stomach hurts even worse now and my throat starts to feel sore and I want to cry. I want to cry while I stand there looking at Denise and Kelly having fun together. I can't watch anymore so I run to my classroom.

Once I'm there I sit down on the ground and lean against the wall and hug my knees to my chest. Then I cry. I cover my face with my hands and cry. I never thought Denise would be friends with Kelly. I thought she didn't like her. I should've never told Denise she wasn't my friend anymore. Why did I say that? I didn't really mean it. Why do I always say things without thinking?

I wipe my eyes and decide I'm going home today. I can't pretend to be sick, because Adam won't believe that and he'll tell Mr. Brick I'm just faking. So I'll just have to get _sent_ home. I don't care how, I just know I'm going home!


	19. Chapter 19

When the bell rings I stand up and get my lunch and turn and face the wall. I'm not gonna look at anybody! Kids from my class come running up to the classroom, and when they see me they all gather around me.

"You're back!"

"Can we see your face?!"

"Is it true Gary's Dad hit you?!"

"Where you scared?"

I cover my ears with my hands and ignore them. I see my teacher which means we aren't having a substitute today. That means it's gonna be harder for me to get sent to the office. Ms. Wilson unlocks the classroom door and everyone goes inside except for me.

"Are you ok Heidi?"

I shake my head no and look up at her.

"I heard what happened at the fairgrounds," she says. "That must have been very scary." She looks at me like she's waiting for me to say something and when I don't she says, "well, let's go inside now."

I follow her in and walk to my seat. Everyone's looking at me and it makes me mad. "What?!" I yell. "Haven't you ever seen a bruised cheek before?!"

Mrs. Wilson says, "that's enough Heidi." I put my head down on my desk while my teacher takes role and lunch count. Then we have to get our reading books out and Denise whispers my name.

"Heidi. Heidi? Are you ok?"

I keep my head down and don't look at her. Why is she talking to me? My teacher tells me to get my book out so I glare at her, take it out, and slam it down on my desk. That gets everyone's attention, but my teacher ignores me.

She starts reading while we're supposed to be following along, but I'm gonna think instead. How do I get sent home? I know if I punched someone that would work, but that would make Adam really mad. I want to get sent home without getting into too much trouble at home, so fighting's out. I also don't want my recesses taken away, so it has to be something bad, but not too bad. Hmm. What can I do? I have to decide soon, because I need to get sent home before the next recess.

If I disrupt the classroom I'll get sent to the office. Then what? I'll just have to figure that out when I get there. I take a pencil out of my desk and start tapping it on my desk. After a while everyone's looking at me including Ms. Wilson.

"What?" I ask her.

"Put that away and read the next page," she says.

"What page are we on?"

"Sixty-four."

I can tell she's not angry yet so I need to try harder. "Did you say sixty-two?" I smile at her.

"No. Sixty-four."

I open my book to page sixty-two and start reading.

"Heidi, we're not on that page. Read from the top of page sixty-four."

"I thought you said sixty-two," I say while smiling at her. Some of the kids start to laugh. 'Now' I see her starting to get mad.

"No, I said sixty-four."

"Sixty-two?" More kids laugh and so do I.

Ms. Wilson glares at me and says, "go stand outside the door."

"No, you're not supposed to do that! You're supposed to send me to the office!" This isn't working out like I hoped it would.

She looks at me kind of funny and says, "go outside."

"Heidi, what are you doing?" Denise whispers.

I look at her and glare. "Shut up traitor!" Denise looks shocked and then she starts to cry. I feel bad now.

"That's enough!" Ms. Wilson yells. "Heidi, go stand outside the classroom right now and wait for me to come out."

I glare at her. "And if I don't?" The kids all say ooh and look at Ms. Wilson. I've never said that before. Nobody in our class has.

We all watch Ms. Wilson walk to her desk and sit down. She takes a pen and paper out and starts writing something. Good, she must be sending me to the office. When she finishes she stands up and says, "you wanted to go to the office, and that's where you're going. Take your book with you and this note." She holds the note out and I get up and leave my book on my desk. "Take your book with you," she says in her real serious teacher voice.

"No thanks," I tell her. I don't just want to get sent to the office, I want to go home!

Ms. Wilson writes something else on the note and I walk up to her to take it. "Don't lose this note," she says. Then she says, "wait." I watch her get an envelope from her desk and put the note inside and lick it sealed. Then she hands it to me.

"Thanks!" I say while I take it from her and smile. Once I'm outside I open the envelope up and read the note.

"Mr. Brick,

Heidi has been very disruptive in the classroom this morning. She seems to _want_ to get sent home. I suspect it's because she's afraid she'll be teased.

I asked her to stand outside the classroom and she refused.

Ms. Wilson.

P.S. I asked her to take her reading book with her to the office and she refused."

I don't like this note. If _she_ knows I want to go home, Mr. Brick will think I want to go home, and then he won't send me home! I rip up the note and throw it away in the trash can. Then I walk to the office.

* * *

When I open the office door I say hi to Ms. Trent.

"Hi Heidi," she says. She gives me a big smile and then says, "I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you on Sunday night. Are you ok? Does your cheek still hurt?"

I shrug my shoulders at her and her smile fades. She looks sad so I say,"I'm ok."

She smiles again and says, "what can I do for you?"

"My teacher wants me to go home," I tell her. "Can you call home and have someone pick me up?"

"Do you have a note for me?"

For her? "No."

"Let me call your classroom," she says and she walks over to her desk and picks up the intercom phone.

"No wait!" I yell. "You don't have to do that!"

She puts the phone down and asks, "why not?"

Before I can give her an answer, the office door opens and Mr. Brick walks in. Perfect! Now he can send me home!

"Why are you in here?" He asks me.

"Ms. Wilson said you have to send me home."

"Where's your note?"

"I don't have one."

Mr. Brick glares at me and asks, "what did you do with it?"

"I ripped it up and threw it away!" I smile up at him. There. That should do it because I know he hates it when I throw the notes away.

He looks mad! Perfect! "Sit on the bench!" He yells and he walks into his office and shuts the door. I watch him pick up the phone. The only one home is Brian! This is perfect!

I watch him hang up the phone while I sit and wait for Brian. After about five minutes the office door opens and my teacher, Ms. Wilson, walks in. She says hi to Ms. Trent and then glares at me on her way to Mr. Brick's office. Well this isn't good! He must've called _her_ and not Brian! She knocks on his door and he motions for her to come in.

After about five minutes she comes out and stops in front of me. "Heidi, I know you want to go home, and I think I know why, but...,"

I interrupt her. "You don't know anything!" I yell at her.

She looks shocked and then sad. Why does everybody always have to look sad? Why can't they look mad when I yell at them? Why won't she yell back at me?

"Ok," she says and she walks away. She says goodbye to Ms. Trent and leaves. I look at Isabella and her eyes look sad too so I glare at her. Mr. Brick opens his door and stares at me. His eyes aren't sad. Good!

"What?!" I ask him.

"You are staying in here until recess and then you will go back to class."

"No! I want to go home!"

"I know. That's why you're staying here."

"I hate you Mr. Brick!" I yell. He's starting to look mad. "You always send me home for no reason at all, and now that you know I want to go home, you won't let me. You're a jerk!" That jerk part got his attention. "Yeah, that's what you are! A big jerk!" He's mad, but he doesn't say anything to me. Instead he tells Ms. Trent he's going out and he'll be back later. I'd better think fast, because I'm losing.

"Did you hear me Mr. Brick?! I said you're a jerk!" He keeps walking to the door. "You're ..., you're ..., you're an a**hole!" I look at him. That got his attention because he stops walking and turns around to glare at me.

"Swearing is not tolerated or allowed at this school!" He yells.

Perfect! I smile at him. "You're an a**hole!"

"Heidi, you just lost your lunch recesses for the rest of this week," he says.

"What?! That's something you've sent me home for! Why won't you send me home now?!" I glare at him while he walks over to me.

"If you swear one more time, you'll lose your lunch recess for two weeks."

This is _not_ working out how I wanted it to! I guess the only thing left to do is to fight someone. "Fine!" I yell. "I'll just get in a fight! Then you have to send me home!" And without thinking I kick him in the shin as hard as I can!

Ms. Trent gasps, Mr. Brick jumps and I stare up at him with my eyes as wide as they could possibly be. Then Mr. Brick's face gets really red like it does when he's really mad and he walks quickly into his office and slams the door shut. He picks up the phone and dials.

* * *

I've been watching the clock and it takes about forty minutes before Brian walks into the office. He says hi to Ms. Trent and they talk for a little bit until Mr. Brick comes out of his office. He hasn't been out since he went in after I kicked him. He calls Brian in and shuts the door.

I watch both of them carefully. Mr. Brick is talking loudly, except I can't hear exactly what he's saying. Brian's face looks like he's thinking. His serious thinking face. He doesn't look shocked, or mad, or anything. Brian doesn't really like Mr. Brick so I think that's why all he's doing is listening. After a little bit Brian says something to Mr. Brick and then they both stand up and Brian opens the door.

"Let's go," he says to me. I get up and follow him as he says goodbye to Ms. Trent and walks out the door. As soon as we're outside we walk side by side to the parking lot. I look up at Brian to see if I can tell if he's mad. He's staring straight ahead.

"You kicked the principal?" He asks that in his normal talking voice.

"Yes," I say quietly.

"You _kicked_ the principal?" He says again.

"Yes. Are you mad?" I look up at him to see if he's mad now.

He doesn't answer me. He's quiet the rest of the way to the truck. When we get to it and we're both inside Brian starts the truck and pulls out of the parking lot.

"Um, Brian?" I wait for a minute before asking, "which do you think is worse? Kicking the principal, or getting in a fight?"

I stare at him and hope he says getting in a fight, but he says nothing. He just drives down the street saying nothing. I guess he's thinking.

"Brian?" I wait for him to say something. "Brian, did you hear me?"

"I heard you," he says.

"Which do you think is worse?" I ask.

"Well, I don't think either one of those is a good choice."

That's not really an answer, so I ask again. "Which is _worse_?" He still doesn't answer me. "Are you mad at me?"

"No."

"You're not?"

"No."

"Why not?"

He looks over at me. "Do you _want_ me to be mad at you?"

I have to think about that. Adam would be yelling at me right now and I'd be yelling back. I don't know if I like the quiet better, or the yelling. We're quiet the rest of the way home.

* * *

When we get home the jeep isn't here so that means Adam and Crane aren't back from town yet. I follow Brian inside and he points to the big comfy chair on his way into the kitchen. "Sit." That's all he says.

I sit down and lean on the arm of the chair towards the kitchen to see if I can see what Brian's doing in there. I think he's getting something to drink. When he walks in here he's holding a glass of lemonade. It looks good. He sits on the couch and stares at me so I look down at the floor.

"Are you gonna yell at me now?" I ask quietly. My stomach hurts. I feel nervous and scared. When he doesn't say anything, I look up at him. He's still staring at me. Then he picks up the newspaper that's lying on the coffee table and starts reading it. "How come you're not talking to me?"

He looks over at me and says, "I don't know what to say." Then he goes back to reading the paper.

"Why don't you know what to say?"

He looks back over and says, "because I need to talk to Adam and Crane about this."

I sigh. That's not good. I watch him read the paper and think. I've got to think of what I'm gonna say to Adam. I know! "Brian?" He looks over at me. "Do you have to tell Adam what happened? Can't this just be between us?" He's staring at me now, and I think he's thinking about that. "Please?" I add.

"So you want me to tell Adam a lie about why you're home right now?"

"Yes?"

"No." He looks back at the paper.

Well, I guess it was worth a try. "Brian?"

He looks back over at me. "What?"

"Can I sit next to you?" When he doesn't answer me right away I say, "please?"

"Ok." He puts the newspaper down and I walk over to the couch and sit next to him on the edge of the cushion.

"Brian?"

He looks at me and raises his eyebrows.

"I didn't mean to kick Mr. Brick." I look at him to see if he's gonna say anything. When he doesn't I say, "it just sort of happened." I look at his face closely. "Do you believe me?"

"Yes."

"You do?"

He sighs and says, "yes."

"Did you ever kick a principal before?" I look at him hopefully.

"No."

"Oh." I look down at the floor for a little while and then I look back up at him. "Did Adam?" I ask that hopefully too.

"I don't think so."

I sigh. "I didn't think so either. Did Crane or anybody else in our family ever do that?"

"Nope. You're the only one."

He's looking at me with his serious looking face and I don't like it so I look down. "Oh. Do you think Adam's going to be mad at me?"

"Heidi, _I'm_ mad at you." That makes me cry. "You have to think before you do stuff that's going to hurt someone. I know you didn't mean to kick him, but you did mean to swear at him. Right?" I nod my head. "He said you were calling him a jerk. That didn't just pop out of your mouth all of a sudden, did it?"

"No."

"So when that didn't work you swore at him. Did you think about what word to call him before you said it?" I nod my head. "Exactly. Swearing at him wasn't an accident. You did it on purpose."

"I just wanted to come home!" I cry.

"Well, guess what?! You _are_ home!" He yells and I don't like it. It makes me cry harder. "How do you feel about being home now?! Was it worth it?"

I stare at him and cry because he's mad and I'm sorry I mad him mad.

"Are you happy now?!" He asks. "Are you happy you're home, or do feel you bad about what you did?!"

I cry and say, "I feel bad! I'm sorry Brian! I'm sorry I swore at Mr. Brick and I'm sorry I kicked him!" I look up at him and I can't stop crying. "I'm sorry I made you mad!" He hugs me now and I cry into his chest and say I'm sorry over and over.

"Sh, it's ok," he says softly while he hugs me. He keeps saying that over and over, until I calm down. "Ok, stop crying now and stand up."

He lets go of me and I stand in front of him and wipe my face with the bottom of my shirt. He smiles when I do that so I smile back a tiny bit and we stare in each others eyes. Then he starts talking in his serious voice.

"Tomorrow when you go back to school, you are going to apologize to Mr. Brick. Is that his name?" I nod. "You're going to do that first thing in the morning. Understand?"

"Yes."

"You are going to apologize for kicking him, and swearing at him. Do you understand?" I nod my head and he says, "_and_, whatever recesses he takes away from you, you are going to accept without complaining. Do you understand _that_?"

"Yes."

"So when he says, "Heidi, you have to stay in at lunch recess for one hundred days," he pauses and I laugh, "you are going to say, what?"

I smile and say, "I'm going to say, ok."

"Right. Without?"

"Without complaining," I tell him.

"Right. First thing tomorrow morning. Got it?"

I smile and nod my head. "Got it!"

He hugs me and says, "good kid."

I hug him back and say, "Brian?"

"What kid?"

"You sounded just like Adam when you said all that stuff."

"All what stuff?"

"You know. All the _dad_ stuff."

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says, but I can hear the smile in his voice.

We hug for a little bit longer and then Brian says, "ok, I'm going to finish reading this 'exciting' rodeo article I've been reading about in the newspaper."

I laugh and sit next to him on the couch. "Can I read the comics?"

"Yes." He finds the comics and hands that section to me, then he takes the section he's been reading and opens it up. He puts his feet up on the coffee table and leans back. I open up the comics and I watch Brian read for a little bit, and then I scoot down so I can put my feet on the coffee table too. I only get to read two comic strips when the front door opens and Adam and Crane walk in.

They startle me so I jump up and throw the newspaper on the coffee table. Then I sit back down and look at them.

They're surprised to see me and they both stop in the doorway to look at me. Then they look at Brian while Brian puts his newspaper down, and then they look back at me.

"Why are you home from school?" Adam asks.

"I got sent home."

"This early? What happened?" He looks at Brian right now.

"The principal said she was disruptive in class and she was _trying_ to get sent home. When Mr. Brick didn't send her home she swore at him," Adam glares at me now, "and he took her lunch recesses away."

"You swore at him?" Adam asks. He looks so mad so I nod my head and start to cry. "What did you say to him?!" He yells. When I shake my head he says very calmly and loudly, "what swear word did you say?"

I shake my head no again and cry more. "I don't want to say it to you."

"If you said it to him, you can say it to me."

"Can't Brian tell you what I said?"

"I want to hear it from you. The swear word came out of _your_ mouth. What did you say?

"I called him an 'a-hole'," I say quietly.

Adam looks at Brian and Brian raises his eyebrows so Adam looks back at me. "You said 'a-hole'? You said 'a-hole' just like that? There weren't any other letters in that word, like an s or two?"

I stare at him and don't say anything except cry quietly.

"Heidi? I want to hear what you said coming out of your mouth right now."

Why isn't he yelling? If he was yelling I could just yell a**hole out loud and not care. But the way he's looking at me and not yelling makes me feel bad. Like I disappointed him, and I hate that. I'd rather be yelled at and have him mad at me instead of being disappointed in me. So I look down at the floor and very quietly say, "a**hole."

"What? I couldn't hear you," he says.

He's gonna make me say it again?

"Heidi, look up at me and tell me what you said."

I look up at him and say, "a**hole," so he can hear me and then I cry hard because he looks so disappointed.

He rubs his hand on his forehead and says, "dang it Heidi, why would you swear at Mr. Brick like that? You know you're not supposed to swear at school. And why would you _ever_ swear at the principal? No wonder he sent you home."

"Um, Adam?" Brian says. "That's not why she got sent home."

I look at Brian and cry, "no! Don't tell him! Please don't tell him!"

"What?" Adam asks. "Why did she get sent home?" He looks at me and then back at Brian.

I look at Brian and plead with my eyes for him not to tell him.

"She kicked the principal," he says.

"No!" I cry and I cover my face with my hands. I hear Crane groan and Adam yell.

"She did what?!" He yells at Brian, then yells at me. "You did what?!" I don't think he could yell any louder than he is right now, but I was wrong. "You kicked _Mr. Brick_?! Look at me when I'm talking to you! **You kicked Mr. Brick?!**"

I look up at him and nod my head. "I didn't mean to."

"Well I should hope not!" He throws his arms up to the ceiling and yells. I wish Hannah was here. She could calm him down. "Why would you _ever_ do that?! It's bad enough that I can't get you to stop fighting with kids at school, but now you're kicking the principal?! He shakes his head and looks at me. "You know, out of all the things you've done this is probably ...,"

He keeps talking but I'm not listening because I'm thinking. He looks pretty mad now. I wish I didn't kick Mr. Brick. I wish I could tell Adam it was an accident, but I don't think he'd believe me. I look at Adam and he's still yelling. I hope he's not saying this is the dumbest thing I ever did, because I don't think it is. I think..., why is it so quiet? They're all looking at me. Did Adam ask me a question?

"Yes?" I hope that's the right answer.

"Yes what?" Adam asks.

"Yes..._sir_?"

"Since when have you ever called me _sir_?! You weren't listening to me at all were you?!"

That was definitely the _wrong_ answer. I look at Adam and he's glaring at me and he starts yelling again. "I am so sick and tired of you getting sent home from school! I'm gonna...,"

Crane interrupts him and starts pulling Adam towards the kitchen. "Adam, why don't you, Brian and I talk in the kitchen for a minute."

"Good idea," Brian says.

He gets up and the three of them walk into the kitchen. They're talking really quietly, except for sometimes when they yell at each other.

"What do you mean, I shouldn't do that?!" Adam yells. "If I want to.."

"Listen to me!" Brian yells. Then they're talking quiet again.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Crane says.

"But she..,"

"I already told her that!" Brian yells.

"Sh."

I don't know who's saying what now, because they're talking so quiet I can't hear anything they say. At least Adam's not yelling anymore. When they walk out of the kitchen my stomach starts to hurt again. I feel nervous and scared. Crane and Adam sit on the couch across from me and Brian sits next to me.

Adam sighs and says, "I don't know what to do with you Heidi." He sounds frustrated. "I talk to you and you don't listen. You do and say things without thinking. Did you think calling Mr. Brick an a-hole was a good idea?"

I'm not sure if I'm supposed to answer that question, so since I'm not sure, I'll try. "Well, he got kinda mad when I said it, so I guess that was an ok idea."

"What?!" Adam yells.

Crane says, "Heidi, that doesn't sound very good. You really believe it was a good idea to call him that?"

I'm quiet so I can think. Sometimes my brothers tell me I say things that make people mad. I don't mean to make them mad, I just say things that make sense to me. "It was a good idea, because I needed him to get mad so he'd send me home."

Brian groans and Crane shakes his head. Adam looks madder and they all stare at me again and none of them say anything. I don't like it so I look away and stare at the front door. I wish I could run outside right now, but that probably wouldn't be a good idea.

Adam starts talking to Brian. "Am I supposed to call the school, or sign something?"

"Nope, it's all taken care of."

"Look at me Heidi," Adam says, so I do. "I wanted you to go to school today, and stay at school. You deliberately got yourself sent home, and I'm not happy about that."

"Are you mad at me?" I ask quietly.

"Yes I'm mad at you! You swore at your principal and kicked him. I'm very mad at you. I hope you're happy because..,"

Good he's mad at me. "Well I'm mad at you!" I stand up and point at Adam. "You made me go to school and Hannah promised Denise would be my friend and she wasn't! She's friends with Kelly now! So yes! I'm happy I'm home!" I stomp my foot.

"Are you done?" Adam asks as he glares at me.

"No, I'm not done!" I yell.

Brian pulls me down so I'm sitting on the couch again and says, "if you know what's good for you kid, you'd better be done."

I look at him because I think I know what he's talking about, but I'm not sure. "No I'm not...," When Brian raises his eyebrows at me I say quietly, "ok, I guess I am done."

Crane pats Adam on the back and stands up. "It looks like you've got everything under control here, so I guess we'd better start digging up pipes." Brian gets up so I stand up too.

Adam points a finger at me and says, "sit." So I do. "I'll come out in a little while," he tells them.

I look up at Brian and Crane and say, "you're gonna leave me with him?"

Brian looks down at me and says, "yep. You wanted to be home. What'd you think it was gonna be like if you got sent home? Did you think we'd all be happy?"

Crane says, "just remember, this is what you wanted."

I watch them leave and then it's just me and Adam. I look at him and he's staring at me so I look away.

"This isn't what I wanted," I whisper.

"What?" Adam asks.

"Nothing."

"Heidi, what did you think was going to happen once you got sent home?"

I have no idea. I didn't think about that. Why didn't I think about that?

"I'll take it since you're not answering me, you didn't think about that part of your plan."

I shake my head no at him. "I didn't have a plan."

"You didn't plan this?!"

"No!"

"Are you telling me you _didn't_ try to get yourself sent home?!"

"No, I _tried_ to get sent home, I just didn't _plan_ it."

"I don't understand that. You swore at him Heidi! Why would you _ever_ do that?!"

"Because when I called him a jerk, he didn't get mad enough!"

"What?!" Maybe I shouldn't have said that. "Do you ever stop and think about stuff before you say it?! Do you ever think about the consequences when you say or do stuff?!"

Well, I already know the answer to that question because I hear it all the time. "No I don't think about that."

Adam glares at me.

"Was that one of those questions I wasn't supposed to answer?"

"What?!" Adam is quiet while he thinks and then he says, "you are so frustrating! Out of all the things your brothers have gotten in trouble for at school, and believe me, that's a lot, they've never kicked an adult!"

"So they swore at a principal before?" I wonder. "Who did that?"

That makes him madder. "That doesn't matter right now! What matters right now is _you_ swore at Mr. Brick and _you_ kicked him!"

"I wanted to come home! I needed him to get mad! You don't understand!"

"Tell me what I don't understand," he says.

"I just wanted to come home. I didn't want to be at school."

"Well guess what! You don't get to decide that! I do! I told you I wanted you at school!"

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want kids to make fun of me! Especially Gary! I'm sorry Adam!" I wish he would believe me. "Brian already talked to me about this! He already told me what to do, so you don't _have_ to! He said all the things you would say!"

"Just because Brian already talked to you about this, doesn't mean I'm not going to! I am so disappointed in you Heidi!"

"Why won't you believe me when I say I'm sorry?! Adam, I didn't mean to kick him! I swear! I told him I was gonna beat someone up and..,"

"You said what?!"

"Never mind."

"No! You told Mr. Brick you were gonna beat someone up if he didn't send you home?!"

I stare at him. What should I say? It seems like everything that comes out of my mouth right now, makes Adam madder at me.

"I'm asking you a question!"

I don't want to answer. I don't want to say anything anymore!

"Did you tell him that?!"

"Yes!" I finally blurt out. "But I didn't want to beat someone up because I knew you'd be mad at me if I did that! I was just trying to figure out the best way to get sent home without making you too mad at me!"

He stares at me now and doesn't say a word. I wish he wouldn't stare at me like that. Then he looks away and shakes his head, and we're quiet for a long time. He must be thinking. He scratches his head a couple times while I stare at him waiting for him to say something. I pick up one of the throw pillows on the couch and play with the zipper. I wonder why he's not yelling. I unzip the pillow and then zip it back up. I keep on doing that while Adam thinks.

"Adam?" When he looks at me I ask, "which do you think is worse, kicking Mr. Brick, or getting in a fight?" I don't like the expression on his face now. He looks the maddest I've seen him today. "Never mind!" I say really quickly. "Forget I asked that." I look back down at the pillow and play with the zipper again.

"Forget you asked that?! I swear, I have no idea what goes on in that head of yours! What kind of question is that?! You want to know what's worse?!"

I shake my head no. "No, not anymore."

"Neither one of them is good!" He yells and then he's quiet again.

I sigh when I get the zipper stuck. "But Adam, which one is worse?"

"Dammit Heidi!"

"Adam, my foot just reached out and kicked him. I didn't mean to do it."

"But you _did_ do it! That's the problem. You kicked him. It doesn't matter if you meant to or not, you did it."

"Why doesn't it matter. It _should_ matter. It was an accident."

"That was _not_ an accident!"

"Yes it was!"

"Be quiet now Heidi."

"Why?"

"Because I am very angry with you and every word that comes out of your mouth right now makes me angrier!"

I think about what he just said. "Adam?"

He looks at me.

"Adam, I'm sorry I kicked Mr. Brick. That part was an accident. I'm sorry I called him an..., an a**hole." I pause and look at him after I say that word. He doesn't yell about it so I continue. "I'm sorry I got sent home when I knew you wanted me to stay at school and I'm going to apologize to Mr. Brick tomorrow."

"Come here," he says.

I don't think I want to so I don't move. All I can do is stare at him so he gets up and comes over to me. He moves the newspapers from the coffee table to the floor, and scoots the coffee table closer to me on the couch and sits down.

I'm kind of scared because the last time we sat like this I got spanked.

"Heidi, I want you to be nice to people. I don't want you to swear or fight. I want you to respect adults." I'm not sure what that means _exactly_, but I think he knows that because he says, "that means I want you to obey them. I want you to listen to them, and I want you to follow the rules."

"You're not just talking about Mr. Brick are you?"

"Right. Do you know who else I'm talking about?"

"You?"

"Yes. Who else?"

"Hannah?"

"Yes."

"Brian and Crane?"

"Yes, those are the easy ones to think of. Can you think of anyone else?" I stare at him and think. When I don't say anything he says, "how about somebody else at school?"

"My teacher!" I yell excitedly and I jump up so I'm standing right in front of him and smile. "She told me to do _lots_ of stuff today, and I didn't do _any_ of it!" Adam raises his eyebrows at me so I stop smiling and say, "I need to apologize to her too."

"Yes, you do." He takes my hands and holds them. "Heidi, I don't ever want you to swear at Mr. Brick, or anyone else at school again."

"Ok."

"And I don't EVER want you to kick Mr. Brick again."

"Ok."

We're looking into each others eyes and he says, "I want to make sure you understand that what you did was wrong and I'm very disappointed in you."

Tears start to form in my eyes and very quietly I ask, "are you going to spank me?"

He looks really serious now and says, "I thought about it." Tears start falling down my cheeks. "I'm not going to _this_ time." I sigh and he says, "but if you ever do what you did at school today again, I will. Do you understand me?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, and I won't do that again."

He hugs me and I hug him back and he tells me he loves me.

"I love you too, Adam, and I am _never_ going to disappoint you again!"

He laughs when I say that and says, "we'll see." Then he stops hugging me and lifts my chin up. "That would be nice though." I smile at him and he stands up. "We've got work to do now and you're going to help." I follow him to the door and he says, "let's go see how much work Brian and Crane have done."

* * *

I follow Adam outside and over to where my brothers are working. They're over by my swimming pool, only the pool isn't filled with water anymore.

"What happened to my pool?" I ask.

"It's not your pool anymore," Brian says while he digs around a pipe. I look around and there's lots of trenches dug where my pool was.

"It took me a long time to dig that," I say quietly and I turn away from them because tears are in my eyes and I don't want them to see me cry.

Adam hands me a shovel and points to an area and says, "dig." I take it from him and start digging where he pointed. The ground is hard so it's hard for me to dig. It's rocky too. I look at where Brian and Crane are digging and then I stop digging to watch Crane work on a pipe. I can see what they meant when they said the pipes were rusty and not new looking. I guess that's why I thought I hit a rock. I can tell which pipes have been fixed because they're nice and shiny. I start digging again.

It's gonna take me forever to dig down to the pipes if that's what I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm not gonna stop or complain. I told Adam I was never going to disappoint him again. They always complain about me bugging them while they're working, so I'm not going to bug them at all. I'm not gonna ask them any questions either. I'm just gonna dig and keep my mouth shut.

"Dang it!" Brian yells. I look over at him and there's water spraying up like a sprinkler, just like when I dug my pool. I wish I could play in it. It's so hot and I'm sweating. They have their shirts off but I can see they're still sweaty. I wish we were working in the shade, but I'm not gonna complain. I look at the little hole I've dug, and then at the big holes they've dug. I wonder if I'm even helping. Maybe they told me to dig here so I'd be out of their way. Oh well, I don't care, I'm gonna dig the biggest hole they've ever seen. Way bigger than the swimming pool I dug.

* * *

After a while I'm tired. I think I've been digging for hours! I'm starting to get blisters on my hands too. My brothers are working on pipes now and they're talking about which one goes where, and which ones need to be replaced now, and which ones can last longer. It's all boring stuff that I don't understand. I keep digging and wiping my hand with the worst blister on my shirt. I think I'm just gonna pop it. I poke at it with my finger but that doesn't pop it, so I start digging again. It'll pop eventually.

I dig some more and then stop and wipe the sweat off my forehead. I hate this! The sun is hot and the digging is hard work and I want to stop and take a break! My blisters are getting worse. There's a few I wish would pop.

It hurts to dig, but I keep digging. My hole is about two feet wide and one foot deep. Why are there so many rocks here! The blister in between my thumb and pointer finger breaks and it stings! I shake my hand back and forth really fast to help the stinging go away, but that doesn't really work. I wish I could go inside and put a bandaid on it, but I'm not gonna ask if I can do that. They'll just think I'm fooling around. I dig again, but after every small shovelful of dirt I dig, I have to stop and shake my hand.

"What's wrong Heidi?" Crane asks.

I look up at him and wipe the sweat off my forehead. "Nothing."

He goes back to whatever he's doing and I go back to digging. I'm starting to cry now. Not out-loud, but just quietly. My blisters sting, I'm boiling hot in the sun, and the hole I'm digging doesn't look like it's getting any bigger.

"Why don't we take a break," Adam says.

"I'm good," Brian says.

"Same here," Crane says. "I'd rather keep working."

"Take a break Heidi," Adam says. My back is facing him so he doesn't know I'm crying. "You've been working really hard, and I don't think I've heard you complain once."

"I haven't heard her complain either," Crane says.

I run over to the water spigot by the barn and turn it on to get a drink. When I cup my hands and put them under the water it stings. I shake them a little and then cup them back under the water and take a drink. Ah! That tastes good! I splash water on my face and that feels good too. I look back over to where the three of them are working and it looks like Adam is digging where I was. Good, maybe he can finish the hole.

It's so hot I turn the water back on and stick my head under the water. Ah, that feels so good! When my hair is soaked I turn the water off and walk back over. The water feels good dripping down my face and my back. I wish I could go swimming right now. I wish I still had my pool.

When I get back my brothers laugh at how wet I am. I pick up my shovel and help Adam dig a hole. It's hard to keep my hands from hurting so I'm working pretty slowly. Hopefully no one will notice.

Brian tells Adam he's ready for him to help with the pipe so Adam puts his shovel down to go help him. Good, I can take tiny breaks now in between shovelfuls. Maybe when it's lunchtime I can put bandaids on my blisters.

* * *

When it's finally time to break for lunch I'm starving. My brothers worked until they finished and now it's one o'clock. I worked as hard as I could and didn't bug them at all. I follow behind them to the house looking at the blisters on my hands.

"Why are you so quiet, Heidi?" Crane asks.

I put my hands down and say, "I don't know."

"Are you feeling ok?" He asks as he picks me up under my armpits and swings me around in a circle. I don't really feel like laughing but I give a pretend laugh and he puts me down. Once we're inside and in the kitchen, Brian gets the lemonade out of the fridge and Crane gets four glasses.

"Where's your lunch?" Adam asks me.

"I left it at school."

"Go wash your hands and you can help me make some sandwiches."

I stare at him while he gets the bread out and then I look at the sink. He wants me to wash my hands? With soap? On my blisters?

"What are you standing around for squirt?" Brian asks me. "Go wash your hands."

I walk to the sink slowly and turn the water on.

"Hurry up," Crane says. "I've gotta wash mine." I look up at him and he says, "go on."

I put soap on my hands and grit my teeth. It stings so I quickly wash it off and shake my hands dry. Crane takes my hands and I try to pull them away.

"Heidi, why didn't you tell us you had blisters?" He asks. Brian and Adam come over to look and say the same thing.

"I didn't want to bug you."

"That's not bugging us," Crane says.

"No, you should've told us," Adam says as he takes my hands and looks at them.

"I didn't want to disappoint you," I tell him.

"That wouldn't have disappointed me," he says.

"It wouldn't have?"

"No. Why would you think that? If you're hurt, you need to tell us. I wouldn't have made you dig anymore."

"I'll get the bandaids," Crane says.

Crane puts bandaids on my blisters and we laugh because my hands are covered with bandaids. We eat lunch and I finish first so I go out into the living room to wait for them on the couch. I lay down and close my eyes. They're talking about me in the kitchen.

"I wonder why she was so quiet while we were working out there," Crane says.

"I know," Brian says, "I kinda missed her spunk out there. It was weird. I almost wished she would've asked us a whole bunch of questions, or accidentally hit us with a rock."

"I think she's tired. The last couple of days have been pretty stressful for her and she hasn't gotten a lot of sleep," Adam says. "Maybe we should let her take a nap instead of doing more work."

"I think we should all take a nap," Brian says.

"I'll go into town and return the parts and pick up more pipes," Crane says.

Brian says, "I'll go with you. We'll take the truck and see if we can get Dave to give us a discount on the parts we need for the tractor."

"Since you guys are going into town, you can pick Hannah up," Adam says.

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll be ready to go in a few minutes," Brian says. "I just gotta go get the old tractor parts."

I open my eyes and watch Brian walk through the living room and out the front door. Then Crane comes in and goes upstairs. I wonder what job I'm gonna have to help Adam with. I yawn and curl up on the couch and close my eyes again. I am so tired I doze off for a little bit, but I wake up when I hear Brian and Crane say goodbye to Adam.

Adam sits down at the other end of the couch and picks up the newspaper. I sit up and look at him.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

He smiles at me and shakes the newspaper a little bit. "Reading."

I sigh and say, "don't you have work to do?"

"It can wait."

"Wait for what?"

"I'm just going to take a little break and read the newspaper for a little while." He pats his lap and says, "come here." I move so I'm curled up in a little ball on the couch with my head resting in his lap. He smoothes my hair back with his hand and I close my eyes.

"Did I disappoint you while I was working?" I ask.

"What? No. Why would you think that?"

"My hands hurt so I couldn't dig very fast."

He keeps smoothing my hair back and it makes me sleepy. "You did a really good job helping us today. You didn't disappoint me at all. You didn't complain, or wander off, or...,"

That's all I hear because I fall asleep.

* * *

I wake up because I hear a lot of yelling. "Heidi! Heidi!"

I open my eyes and sit up. I look around and Adam is waking up too. We're both on the couch and Guthrie is yelling at me.

"Heidi! Guess what, guess what!"

"Calm down Guthrie," Adam says.

"But you'll never guess what! Gary's in a foster home!"

"What?"

"What are you talking about Guthrie?" Adam asks.

"It's true! It's true! He's not at school! His older brother is on a trucking job across the country and since his dad is back in jail, Gary's in a foster home!"

"What about Rick?" I ask.

"He's in juvenile hall."

"For how long?" I ask.

Adam hugs me.

Guthrie shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. I just know Gary's in a foster home until his brother gets back sometime next week."

"Doesn't he have a brother in high school?" Adam asks.

"Yes. He's staying with friends until next week, but Gary's in a foster home somewhere in a different city!"

Wow! I think about that.

"Aren't you happy?!" Guthrie asks me.

I don't know what to say. Am I happy?

"Why are you crying?" Guthrie asks.

Adam looks at me and I put my hands up to my eyes. They're wet.

"What's wrong?" Adam asks.

"I don't know." I keep thinking about Gary and I keep crying and Adam hugs me.

"What's wrong?"

Guthrie sits on the couch next to us. "What's wrong Heidi?"

I lay my head on Adam's shoulder and cry and cry and cry.

"What's the matter?" Adam asks. "Heidi? What's wrong?"

"They took him away from his family? They took him away?" I lean back and look at him and say, "Gary doesn't have a Mom or a Dad like I don't have a Mom or a Dad! His Dad's in jail, and his older brother isn't home to take care of him! Now none of his family lives together! It's just like our family!"

"No, Heidi, no it's not. I'm here," Adam says. "Yes, our mom and dad are gone, but _I'm_ here. Brian's here, Crane's here, everyone's here."

"But what if you were away at college, like Gary's brother is away driving a truck? Then we'd be in foster homes just like Gary! He doesn't have anybody!"

"Heidi, I wasn't away at college and you're not in a foster home and your _whole_ family, all your brothers, are here _together_. Why is this bothering you so much? I'm here. _We're_ here. Gary has somebody. He has his brothers, just like you have yours. It's just going take a week or two for them to get back together, but they will."

"What if they don't?"

"Then they're getting help so one day they _can_ get back together. Heidi, there's a lot of stuff you don't understand right now. I think you're confusing our family for his. Our families aren't the same. They never were and they never will be."

"I don't understand!"

"I know you don't," Adam says. "I know. Sometimes hard things happen in life that none of us can understand."

Guthrie says, "do you mean like how our Mom and Dad died? We don't understand how things like that can happen?"

"Yes. Nobody understands that."

"I thought you'd be happy, Heidi," Guthrie says.

"They're whole family is broken!" I say. "They're broken like we could've been broken!"

"Look at me Heidi!" Adam says in a loud voice. "Our family is not broken! Do you hear me?!" I nod my head. "Good. Guthrie would you go get started on your chores? I want to talk to Heidi for a minute alone."

"But what about cookies? And why can't I listen when you talk to her?"

"I want to talk to her about the stuff we talked about last night. Ok? Why don't you take your cookies and lemonade out on the porch and have them there."

"Oh, ok." Guthrie goes into the kitchen and I can hear him get the lemonade out.

"What do you want to talk to me about?" I ask. I get off Adam's lap and sit next to him cross-legged on the couch so I'm facing him and sigh. "We've already talked about lots of stuff today," I tell him.

"Hannah told me you were telling her a story about a family yesterday."

I groan and fall backwards onto the couch cushions. "Noooo, I don't want to talk about that."

He takes my hands and pulls me back up. "Come on, sit up and talk to me, you nut."

I groan. "What."

"Tell me the story you told Hannah."

"Nope. It was a happy story, and it made her cry and then everyone else got sad eyes, so nope, I'm not gonna tell it to you."

"Aw, come on Heidi. I won't cry, just tell me the story."

I glare at him, "do you promise you won't cry?"

"I promise."

I sit up on my knees and scoot close to him so I can look at him better. "Ok." I take a deep breath. "It was a story about a mom and dad dying and the brother takes care of the kids. The end. See," I smile up at him, "it's a happy story."

"That's the _whole_ story? Because if it is, I don't believe you."

I smile at him. "Yep. That's the _whole_ story."

"Is it a story about our family?" He asks.

"Nope."

"It sounds like it is."

I shrug my shoulders. "Well it's not."

"Heidi, do you ever think about Mom and Dad?"

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Why should I?" I look down at his hands and pick one up. I trace around it with my finger while he talks to me.

"Do you think it's sad that they died?"

I shrug my shoulders and keep tracing his hands. "What's for dinner?" I ask.

"I don't know. Are you sad they died?"

"No. When's Hannah coming home?"

"Soon." He stops my finger from tracing his hands and holds both of my hands in his. "Why aren't you sad they died?"

I break my hands free and hold one of his again and sigh. "Adam, moms and dads die all the time. They leave their older kids to take care of their younger kids."

"And you don't think the kids are sad when their moms and dads die?"

"It depends on how old they are. Your fingernails are dirty." I start picking at one.

"What if the kids are little? What if they're babies?"

"What about it?" I ask.

"Are _they_ sad? Ow! Stop picking at my nail!" He takes his hands away and lifts my chin up so I have to look at him.

"What?" I ask.

"Are the little babies sad?"

"What little babies?"

"The babies in your story!"

I smile. "Oh, _those_ babies."

He glares at me and says, "yeah, _those_ babies."

"They cry for their mom and dad. They cry a lot."

"So they're sad?" He asks.

I scoot around so I'm sitting cross-legged again and fold my hands and put them in my lap. "I think so. They're sad until the big brother comes and picks them up. Adam, how come some moms die and the dads don't, or the dads die and the moms don't? How come both ours died?"

"I don't know."

"Is that one of those things nobody understands?"

"Yes. I know I don't understand it," he says and he looks a little sad.

"Adam?" I wait until both of us are staring into each others eyes before I say, "Adam, I'd be sad if you died."

He reaches out and pulls me close to him and hugs me. I push away and say, "you're not _crying_ are you?" I look at his eyes and they look happy now. I shake a finger at him and say, "good! You'd better not be, because you promised!"

Now he starts to tickle me and I laugh. I try to get away, but I can't. The front door opens and Evan, Daniel and Ford come walking in. They're home from school.

"Hey, Guthrie told us what happened with Gary and his family," Daniel says. "That must be good news for you Heidi."

I shrug my shoulders and Adam hugs me. The telephone rings and Ford answers it. He holds the phone out and looks at me. "It's Denise."

I'm surprised. Why is she calling me? We're not friends anymore! My stomach starts to hurt. When I don't get up to take the phone, Ford says, "she wants to talk to you."

"What's the matter Heidi?" Adam asks. "Go talk to her."

I shake my head no.

"Why not?" Adam asks.

I look up at him and say, "we're not friends anymore." Adam tells Ford to tell Denise that I'll call her back. "I'm not going to call her back," I tell Adam.

"Why don't you tell me what happened?" He asks.

"Denise is friends with Kelly! _That's_ what happened! So I'm _not_ calling her back!" I yell.

"Heidi," Adam starts to talk in his serious voice so I get up fast and run for the front door just as it opens and I run right into Crane. Brian and Hannah are right behind him.

"Whoa!" Crane says as he picks me up. "Slow down!" He smiles at me, and Brian asks, "where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"No where," I tell him.

"That's right," Adam says. "Get back over here and tell me what's going on with Denise."

I whisper in Crane's ear, "if you put me down and let me escape, I'll give you my dessert tonight."

He whispers back, "no thanks."

"Hannah, Crane just told me he doesn't like your desserts!" I tell her.

"What?" She asks.

"I didn't say that," Crane says. "This _little_ one is trying to bribe me to let her escape." He smiles at me and I glare at him and the phone rings.

Ford answers it and says, "it's Denise's mom, she wants to talk to Hannah."

Crane carries me back over to Adam and sits down with me.

"What happened with Denise?" Adam asks.

"I already told you."

Hannah hangs up the phone and says, "Heidi, what happened with you and Denise today?"

"Why?" I ask.

"Don't be rude," Adam says.

I glare at Hannah and say, "you promised me Denise would be my friend. You were wrong! She's not my friend!"

"She told you that?" Hannah asks.

I glare at her and don't say anything.

Adam says, "Heidi, answer Hannah."

"No, she didn't tell me that! I ...,"

Adam interrupts me. "You are _not_ going to talk like that. Stop yelling and talk in a normal voice. If Denise didn't tell you that, then how do you know she's not your friend anymore?"

Now I glare at him. "Because I saw her playing with Kelly."

"Heidi, Denise's mom said Denise has been crying all afternoon. She said you called Denise a traitor. What was that all about?" Hannah asks.

I look around the room at everybody. The only person _not_ in here is Guthrie. "Does everyone have to listen?"

"I guess we can go do our chores," Daniel says. Pretty soon everyone's gone except for Adam and Hannah.

"Why did you call Denise a traitor?" Hannah asks.

I shrug my shoulders.

"You do to know," Adam says. "Heidi, this is important. What happened with Denise?"

I start to cry. "I saw her laughing with Kelly! They were having fun!"

"Oh," Hannah says.

"She said she didn't like Kelly, and she lied!"

"Oh dear. Well, let me call Judy back and talk to her." Hannah walks over to the desk and picks up the phone. When Denise's mom answers Hannah tells her what I just said. Then Hannah hangs up the phone.

"Well?" Adam asks.

"Now Judy's talking to Denise about that."

Adam groans. "Girls. Why can't they just make up like boys do? Boys yell at each other and then forget all about it five minutes later."

The phone rings again and Hannah answers it. It's Denise's mom. "Oh, I see," Hannah says and she looks at me. "I'll talk to her about that." She hangs up the phone and says, "Heidi, Denise says she doesn't know what you're talking about. She said Kelly was teasing her about you before school started. She made Denise cry and Kelly wouldn't stop teasing her until Denise ran away to tell the yard duty teacher."

"That's not true! I saw...," wait a minute. Did I _see_ Denise laughing? No! I only saw Kelly laughing! "Oh no!"

"What's wrong?" Both Adam and Hannah ask, so I tell them what I saw.

"Oh, so you didn't see Denise laughing with Kelly," Adam says, "you just assumed she was."

I cry. "I feel so bad! I called her a traitor! She'll never want to be my friend again!"

Hannah says, "Heidi, do you remember what I told you this morning?"

"You promised Denise would be my friend!" I'm kind of mad at her because she was wrong.

"_After_ you apologized to her. Call Denise and tell her what happened. Apologize."

"Ok." I get up and walk over to the phone and call Denise. After two rings her mom answers.

"Hello?"

"Hi Judy, this is Heidi. Can I talk to Denise?"

"Yes. I think she'd like that."

Adam and Hannah walk into the kitchen. Hannah whispers, "we'll give you a little privacy."

I nod at her and wait for Denise.

"Hi Heidi," Denise says. She sounds sad.

"Denise, I'm sorry. I thought you were friends with Kelly. I saw you with Kelly and she was laughing. She looked like she was having fun, but I didn't see _your_ face. Were you really crying?"

"Yes. Heidi, Kelly kept making fun of you for getting beat up by Gary's dad. When I started crying, she laughed at me. She called me a crybaby, and...,"

"But I didn't get beat up by Gary's dad!"

"She said you did. She said lots of mean things about you and then she started laughing at me when I cried."

"I'm sorry Denise. I didn't know. I should've known you wouldn't be friends with Kelly. I'm sorry I called you a traitor. Do you want to be friends again?"

"Yes! Best friends!"

"Yes! Best friends!" I look into the kitchen to see what Adam and Hannah are doing and it looks like they're at the table talking. I talk into the phone quietly. "Denise, I'll beat Kelly up for you for calling you a crybaby."

"No don't do that!"

"Why not? I want to beat her up!"

"But then you'll get grounded and it'll be a long time before we get to spend the night at each others' houses."

"Oh, I guess you're right. But, I would beat her up for you. I don't care how much trouble I'd get into, I'd beat her up for you!"

"I know. Thanks! I have to go now."

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," I tell her.

"Yep, see you tomorrow."

I hang up the phone and run into the kitchen. "Guess what?! Denise and I are best friends again!" I run to Hannah and give her a hug. "You were right Hannah!"

"I'm glad you're friends again," she says and she smiles at me.

"Thank you Hannah."

"For what?"

I look up at her and smile. "Thank you for helping me."

She smiles and says, "I love helping you."

"Thanks for taking good care of me too."

"I love doing that too."

We hug and it feels nice. Hannah's shirt is soft and she smells really pretty. When I hear Adam clear his throat I stop hugging her and look at him.

He says in his serious voice, "I just want you to know, if you beat Kelly up, you are going to be in _big_ trouble."

"You heard that?"

"Yes, I heard that. Did you hear what I just said?"

"Yes."

"Good. I'm glad you and Denise are friends again."

The back door bursts open and Guthrie comes running in. "We finished all our chores!" He looks at me and says, "we even did yours." He looks at Adam now and says, "Evan, Ford and Daniel said they would go swimming with us at the pond. Can we go?"

Adam says, "no. You guys ran away from home yesterday so you're staying close to home for the rest of the week."

"Does that mean we're grounded?" I ask.

"You're grounded from going anywhere away from the house or the barn area."

Both Guthrie and I groan. But then Guthrie yells excitedly, "can we dig a pool?!"

I smile and say, "can we?! Can we?!"

Adam and Hannah laugh and Adam says, "just as long as you stay away from the water pipes."

"Yeah!" We both yell and we run out the back door.

* * *

"Hey guys!" Guthrie yells at Daniel, Evan and Ford. "Adam said we couldn't go to the pond with you, but he said we could dig a pool. Will you help us?"

I hope they say yes. They look at each other and shrug their shoulders and Daniel says, "I'll help you."

"I'll help," Evan says.

"I will too," Ford says.

"Yeah!" Guthrie and I jump up and down.

I'm happy. I love it when my brothers help me and Guthrie do stuff. "You guys have to do the digging," I tell them. I hold up my hands to show them my bandaids. "I've got blisters." Then I think of a great idea. "But I can help with the hose! You guys dig and I'll squirt you with water while you're digging!"

"Sounds like a plan," Evan says.

I run to get the hose while they get shovels. They pick a place to dig that's away from the pipes and I screw the hose onto the water spigot and drag it over to them.

We spend the rest of the afternoon having fun digging a pool. They dig and I squirt them with water. They dig a pool that's way bigger and deeper than the one I dug. We're all soaking wet and muddy when we're finished. They take the big blue tarp and lay it in the pool and I fill it up with water. We all get in the pool while it fills up with water. It's big enough that we can all stand up and splash each other. The tarp is slippery and it doesn't do a good job of keeping the mud out so we take it out. Now we have a big, wet, mud pit! It's fun getting all muddy, and soon Crane and Brian come to splash around a bit to get cooled off.

Guthrie and I take a break and sit on the edge of the pool with our feet hanging in the water. We look at each other and laugh because we have mud all over us. Then we watch everyone else playing around.

"I wonder if we're going on a vacation this summer," Guthrie says.

We hardly ever go on a summer vacation. That's hard to do when you have a ranch. Vacations are way too expensive for us too.

Guthrie says, "I wish we could go to the ocean."

I laugh. "Yeah right! A bunch of cowboys swimming in the ocean! That's funny!"

"We went to the ocean once for a vacation."

I laugh. "No we didn't! I don't remember going to the ocean."

"You were really little. Probably three or four."

I yell at my brothers. "Have we ever been to the ocean before?!"

"Yeah," Ford says. "We went to Santa Cruz one summer."

"I don't remember that."

"You were really little Heidi." Evan throws a bunch of mud at Ford so Ford throws some back.

Guthrie and I talk to each other again. "I wonder how we were able to go away like that?" I ask.

"I don't remember," Guthrie says, "but I do remember how much fun the beach was! There were rides on the beach too, it was like a boardwalk or something," Guthrie says.

"What's that?"

"I don't know. It was were the beach was, and we stayed in a hotel, I think, or maybe it was someone's house. I don't remember, it was a long time ago."

"Did everyone go?" I ask.

"Yes."

"_Everyone_?"

"I think so."

I think about that for a minute. It would be fun to go on a vacation with all of us going. I don't know if I want to go to the beach though. Going on rides sounds like fun though. "Guthrie, if we could go on a summer vacation anywhere, where would you want to go?"

"I don't know. Probably back to the ocean. Where would you want to go?"

"I don't know."

Daniel picks Guthrie up and throws him in the water. I watch my brothers play while I think. Where would I want to go on vacation if my whole family could go? A big camping trip? A trip to the ocean? Where do other families go? I don't get any more time to think about that because Evan picks me up and throws me in the water while I laugh and scream.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Thank you for all the reviews too! I love them! Your reviews help encourage me to keep on writing, and I look forward to reading them.**

**Thank you also to my new readers who are reading my previous stories and writing reviews for those. I love reading them!**


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